This is for all the Zutarians out there!
It's what we've all been waiting for! (no not the death of kataang)
THE WATERBENDING SCROLL EPISODE! ( fangirls squee in the background)
And if you are A kataanger, I'll warn you when the Zutarian goodness is arrived, so you can skip over it! ^_^ Aren't I considerate!
Oh and P.S. there will be a surprise ending….
…
Sokka: Aang! Sit down! If we hit a bump, you'll go flying off, even though we're in the air and there is no possible chance there's a bump in the 'road'
Appa: Ah yes, finally this old chap is making some sense! I guess traveling on my back has rubbed off some intelligence!
Aang: It's what Roku said through puffs of his bong! If the comet comes and I'm not ready, everyone will be dead! DIE DIE DIE! DEATH IS COMING! EVERYONE RUN TO THE SHELTER!
Katara: Oh shaddup. I'll teach you some of my pimpstickity skillz if you will just shut your trap!
Sokka: Wait… Katara. Did you sleepover at Taylor's house again?
Katara: Mayyybe! Why would I tell you, you freak of nature!
Sokka: Oh yeah. She did.
Aang: Katara, Taylor's house is a dangerous place! There's dead bodies scattered all over her front lawn!
Katara: Nuh-uh! Those are fertilizers for her monster Venus flytraps, you numbnuts!
Me: Meh. I need to get some new fertilizers. I heard that children make the best ones!
Katara: Oooh! Can I help you shop?
Me: Sure!
Sokka: Hey! Go away! You're corrupting my sister!
Me: I can't go away, I'm the writer!
Aang: Well can you please just stay in your little writing hole and be quiet?
Me: Give me some nachos and I will!
Momo: Fine, you can have my stash. Even tho, that wuz my lunch!
Me: Thanx Momo! For that, I'm going to get you a girlfriend! Bye!
Momo: Heh heh, it pays to kiss up to da man!
Sokka: Whatever. Let's just land and you two can splash around in the water… plus we need food anyway.
(they land)
Katara: Ok, Aang. This is called a pushy- pulley water thingy. Just do what I do.
Aang: Um... OK.
Katara: Even though I'm from the South side and can totally pwn joo at this crap because…. Hey how did you get so good?
Aang: Cause I do drugs maybe?
Katara: Yeah… that's it… Hey this is called make a snaky out of water. See. You probably can't do this because….
Aang: Look at me I'm a cowboy! ( whips snake around like a lasso) I'm so gay, yet tough at the same time!
Me: Watch your mouth or I'll shoot you, you northern punk!
Katara: Ok Mr. I'm so awesome and watery! Here's an awesome move, I'd like to call, THE WAVE SO HUGE IT COULD TAKE DOWN CHUCK NORRIS!
Me: Grrr…
Aang: you mean like this? (does wave)
Surfer dude: KOWABUNGA DUDE!
Sokka: Oh what a beautiful mooorning! Oh what a beautiful daaay! Guys I just got done watching this really lame musical about this one gay state!
Me: THAT IS IT! PREPARE TO DIE! (sends tornado after them) TASTE THE STING OF OKLAHOMA!
Katara: RUN TO THE MARKET PLACE!
(they flee)
Sokka: Hey guys... what happened to our money? We had at LEAST 20 gold pieces from the money King Bumi gave us… now there's only 3 copper!
Aang: Make that two, I bought a bison whistle! Listen! ( blows)
Bison Whistle: Oops I did it again! I played with your heart, got lost in the game oh baby baby…
(from far away)
Appa: Oooh dear! What is that awful song? It's so sirenic! I…I… must resist!
(back to the market)
Sokka: Still, what happened to all our money?
Me: Have a taste of what it was like in the Dustbowl days, bitches!
Katara: See? THIS is what happens when we diss the writer's turf!
Momo: Heh, YOU dissed 'er. I got myself some points with 'er! She luvs me!
Aang: AAAAH! THE TORNADO'S BACK!
Katara: Quick, take shelter in that pirate ship!
(on the pirate ship.)
Pirate Captain: What the… Why are there kids on my boat?
Squirrelly pirate: There's a tornado outside sir, they're taking shelter… even though, if there was a tornado, we should be underground, not out in the water….
Pirate Captain: Wow, you guys must have pissed off the writer!
Sokka: Yeah… we made fun of Oklahoma.
Squirrelly Pirate: Serves you right! It's one of the best states there is!
Katara: Hey… that's a waterbending scroll! We needed one of those!
Pirate Captain: That piece of junk? It was free, but since you all dissed the great OK, then It's not for sale!
Aang: Aw come on! I need it!
Pirate Captain: Too bad! Now get out!
(they leave)
Sokka: Well that was eventful.
Katara: Yeah.. let's get out of here.
Aang: Aw Katara! If the tornado comes back, I'll protect you!
Katara: I don't need protecting Aang. It's not like some guy is going to kidnap me and tie me to a tree or anything.
Aang: Yeah you're right.
Sokka: TORNADO! RUN!
Aang: Hope on my glider! We'll outrun it!
Tornado: Look! A cart! I'm gonna destroy it!
Cabbage man: MY CABBAGES!!!
(LATER)
Sokka: Wow. What a rush.
Katara: Yup. Now let's practice with my new waterbending scroll!
Aang: (gasp) You stole it! We're in enough trouble already, pissing off the most powerful thing controlling our lives and then you go and do THIS?
Katara: Aw, c'mon! It was free wasn't it? It's not technically stolen if it was free! And besides, you want to learn waterbending don't you?
Aang: yeah….
Katara: Good!
MEANWHILE
Zuko: Uncle. This is so stupid. We're wasting time! We caught the avatar's trail and now he's getting away! And for WHAT?
Iroh: But Zuko… This Is IMPORTANT!
Zuko: Uncle, you're a GUY! Dudes don't need pregnancy tests!
Iroh: But ZUKO! I missed my cycle!
Zuko: YOU ARE A MAN!
Iroh: Oh so THAT doesn't mean I can't get emotional at times?
Zuko: UGH!
Pirate Captain: Hey we have pregnancy tests on the ship. Just don't piss off the writer like the bald kid earlier.
Zuko: That bald kid… Did HE steal my underwear?
LATER
Katara: Ok, I'm just going to steal a few things and then sneak back into my sleeping bag. Wow, who knew I was such a kleptomaniac? ZOMG! It's Zuko's ship! I'd better go glomp him!
Zuko: (grabs her) Gotcha! I'll save you from the pirates!
Katara: Hello sexy!
Zuko: … Oh shi-. What have I done?
COMMERCAIL!
Head on! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Head on! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Apply Directly to the Forehead! Apply Directly to the Forehead!
OK COMMERCIAL OVER!
And Kataangers… shut your eyes.
Katara: Oooh! I like where this is going! (struggles at rope bounds) I've been a bad girl haven't I Zuko?
Zuko: Ok, I can do this…. (takes deep breath) Where's the avatar?
Katara: Forget him! Why don't you have your way with me like you know you want to?
Zuko: D: I can't do this….
Zutarians: YES YOU CAN!!!
Me: Zuko, you are so pathetic. Here, take these.
Zuko: What's this?
Me: Man pills. TAKE THEM! NOW!!!
Zuko: Ok OK! (takes pills) Oh god… what's happening to me… hey where did my shirt go??
Katara: Ooooohhh… me likey!
Zuko: Wha… (epiphany) Hey, where did this totally hawt water chick come from?
Katara: I've been here all this time baby! Only problem is, I've got all of these clothes... you wanna see all of my super hawtness?
Zuko: Oooohhhh yeaaaahhhh.
Iroh: BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!!!! (does happy dance)
Kattangers who are peeking: Zuko's straying away from the main point of his journey! What the frick is he doing?
Zutarians: SHUT UP!!!! You have the entire series, let us have this one parody spoof!
(Meanwhile)
Aang: MY KATARA'S MAKING OUT WITH ANOTHER DUDE SENSES ARE TINGLING!
Sokka: You don't think she's finally raped Zuko do you?
Aang: Well, I'm not going to just sit here on my bum and find out! Katara! I'm coming to rescue you!!! (runs off)
Sokka: (gigglesnort) He said bum.
(Later)
Aang: Look! It's Zuko's ship!
Sokka: So it is.
Aang: OMG! Theres steam on the windows! You know what that means!!!! (faints)
Appa: Momo, what on earth are you doing?
Momo: Taking pictures yo! Do you have ANY idea what a Zutarian would pay for this stuff fo shizzle?!?
Appa: Bah. Zutara is frivolous.
Kataangers who are peeking: YAY!
Me: Appa, this is EXACTLY why you aren't getting any girlfriends.
Sokka: What was that? Zuko's hand pressing up against the window suddenly, sliding down out of reach as if he were… OH MY GOD! (faints as well)
(Meanwhile)
Katara: Do it again, Zuko! Do it again!
Zuko: OK! (shoots fire at the water Katara is bending)
Katara: YAY! We made steam again!
Zuko: Tee hee, this is fun.
Katara: Yeah, I thought it was gonna be a bummer after your man pills wore off just before you started groping me, but this is fun just being a crack head with you and stuff.
Zuko: You wanna see crack head? (pulls out white stuff) I'll show you crack head.
Katara: Where did you get that?
Zuko: My Great-grandpa Sozin and Avatar Roku were bffs back in the day.
Katara: WOOT! Light her up and let's smoke/snort old dude crack!
(Later)
Katara: Bye Zuko… oh god I am sooooo baked.
Aang: (waking up.) YOU SLUT!
Katara: Wha… when did the friendly mushroom get here?
Aang: Come on Katara, we're going home!
Sokka: (Waking up too) OHHH! How was losing your virginity Katara?
Aang: Shut up Sokka, we're leaving.
Katara: We're going to candy moouuuuunnntain Charlie!!!!!
…
I didn't put where the Kataangers could look, but since yall had your eyes closed you wouldn't see it anyway. Just scroll up and stop whenever you see something that's too "EWW! ZUTARA!" and just read on from there.