Ultra Special Blah Blah Blah: Hi everyone! I hope you all haven't gotten bored yet. I have a lot of stuff to go over in this fan fic, so just bear with me! It this chapter, you will get a glimpse at Ed and Roy's first date (really, this is a procrastination on my part until I can progress the plot...)! Obviously before hand Alphonse and his brother have a talk about Ed dating the Colonel, and I have Al making faces and doing silly things. At this point, he's still in the armor, but y'know how sometimes the oh-so-wonderful-creator-of-one-of-the-most-excellent-manga exaggerates Al's faces to make them more comical? Well, that's what was going on in my head, so don't you be yellin' at me 'bout how armor can't make faces. I know it can't. Unless your name is Alphonse Elric! |o| Oh, and while you're reading, just imagine Ed actually acting like he does in this chapter. Ain't it funny? Sorry this story is taking so long. There are so many details....

Chapter Four: Gushing Brothers, Awkward Conversations, and Hangovers of the Worst

Edward had to wonder how many times that his superior had given him false leads on purpose, just to get him angry. He knew that Colonel Mustang was a rather smart man, but it also seemed like a lot of the missions he found himself in had ties with military interests. And this bugged him. Edward Elric could care less about his country, or his military. The most important thing was retrieving Al's body. But what worried him more than that was that he always seemed to run straight to Roy after a mission. He never rested first, or got medical attention. He always found himself running to Roy. He would storm in through the front door, and when everyone saw he had returned, they would flee out of his way. He would storm into the colonel's office no matter if the door was open, or if Roy was talking with someone, and the young alchemist would fly off into a rant about how useless not only the leads he was given were, but the Flame Alchemist himself. Roy would usually give him some smart remarks back, and a fight usually erupted.

Roy Mustang himself couldn't deny the fact that he gave the highly talented brat a couple unrelated tasks just so he wouldn't have to do them himself. It was a bit cruel of him, but somehow, when he saw Ed stomping in from a mission just to see him, it did make him feel great- even if it was only to snap at him. It did make him feel horrible however, those few times where Ed didn't run directly to him, but instead was lying in a hospital. It frightened him. The young alchemist nearly died during his abduction at the hands of Barry the Chopper. He was nearly murdered by Scar if Roy hadn't stepped in, and there were so many other times he returned from near death encounters that Roy could hardly count them.

However, since he had almost died during the fiasco at Lab Five, Roy thought about giving him serious leads that would actually help him. But not before asking him out for a date.

***

"Yes...Wait. What?"

Edward was sitting up in his hospital bed, still in the clothes they had given him, and his forehead and wrists were still bandaged up. Roy had been his surprise of the day when he came over during his break to invite the younger state alchemist to dinner. Fullmetal was set to be released in only a couple hours, so Roy thought that evening they would celebrate and take the blonde out to a good restaurant. After all, Ed had been complaining nonstop about the horrible hospital food during previous appearances the colonel made. The invitation however caught Ed completely off guard, and the fact that it was the Bastard Colonel of all people asking him made it all the more confusing.

Roy stood beside the bed, his face flushed a faint red. He had asked out plenty of women in his days, but he had never asked out another guy before. And somehow, Ed could manage to bring out a blush in him no matter what.

"What do you say, Edward?" he asked. "Do you want to go? You're going to be discharged from here soon..."

Ed's face was blushed a vibrant red, especially when he caught Al hiding outside the door, grinning like an idiot. "It's just...you're asking me?" Ed asked.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" Roy asked with worry.

Ed shook his head quickly. "No! That's not it. It's just...You normally take women, don't you?"

Roy frowned. "Does that bother you?"

Fullmetal turned his head to the side, and muttered, "A little." He then turned to look right into Roy's eyes. "What makes me different? You're not one to go after guys."

The colonel smiled, leaned forward, and tapped the end of Ed's nose with his gloved finger. "You're right, I normally don't like men. I don't know why, but I seemed to be drawn to you in particular. "

"Should I be flattered by this?" Ed snorted. "Roy Mustang, the biggest womanizer in Central is asking me on a date?"

Roy turned bright red at the comment. "You don't have to be-"

"Well I am," Ed snapped. Roy looked at him in disbelief. He had said it with such venom, that it nearly covered up the real words he spoke. "I can't believe I fell for a bastard like you."

***

As promised by the doctor (although it was under threat of injury on Ed's part), Edward was released from the hospital later that day after lunch. He was just picking up his pocket watch when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Ed called out without turning around.

As the young alchemist was pulling on red trench coat, his brother waltzed in, giggling like a maniac. Ed immediately groaned.

"So, you and the colonel?" Al giggled. "Who would have thought that the quarrels between you two were really lover's quarrels?"

Ed scowled. "Don't even get started."

Al smiled innocently and rocked back and forth on his metal heels. "But he asked you to dinner! That's wonderful, brother."

Ed blushed and under his breath mumbled. "Yeah, whatever."

"This will be your first date ever!"

The state alchemist threw boot at his younger brother. "Shut up!"

"Awww! How cute!" Al gushed. He knew he was pissing off his brother, but he was sure Ed was actually very happy.

"Shut up!" Ed growled as he blushed a vibrant red and threw his other shoe at the suit of armor. He had just gotten over the blush that the bastard colonel had given him, and his brother had to go and give it right back. "You'd better not tell anyone either!"

This comment stopped Al. "Why not?"

Ed didn't look at him, instead, his eyes met with the floor. "Well, he's my superior, and a man, so I could be...court-martialed for having an unorthodox relationship with my boss. I mean, I guess some people could know, but if the president or a more powerful superior were ever to find out...And that's saying that Roy's actually serious about this and isn't doing this just to..."

Al had never even considered the fact that there would be some people that would be less than happy about Ed's budding relationship with Colonel Mustang. To him, it was just something he had to accept. But to others, it was apparently very strange. He wanted to ask his brother about why some people didn't agree with such things, but decided against it. He didn't think it was the time nor the place for such a discussion. He would probably learn in time anyway.

"Alright. I won't tell anyone."

Ed smiled, albeit a little tiredly. "Thanks Al."

Al returned his brother's boots, and was halfway through the doorway before he paused. "Oh, and brother?"

"What Al?"

"I don't think Roy would mess with you like that," Al said. "I think he really likes you."

***

The restaurant was closer to the countryside than Ed originally expected- which meant he had to pay the taxi driver more than he originally thought. It was actually a rather tall building, but the alchemist doubted that the whole building was dedicated to preparing and serving food. The building was made of beautifully laid red brick, accented with flower in beds under each window, and a white roof that reflected all the lights from neighboring buildings.

Ed stepped out of the taxi, then raised his eyebrow at the location of his date with Roy. He turned back around and knocked on the window of the taxi before the driver had a chance to pull away.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Ed asked doubtfully.

The driver snorted. "Kid, I've been drivin' people to dates for longer than you've been alive. I think I would know which restaurants are which!"

And without another word, the driver sped off, leaving Ed in the dust. Fullmetal sighed and looked back up at the building. A single woman stood outside the fancily carved door, a pile of what appeared to be menus in hand. With a bit of hesitation, he walked toward her.

Now, although Edward Elric is known for his feisty attitude, poor manners towards people (men especially it would seem), and for his rather violent nature, he knew when it was the right time to act like a gentlemen. His mother had taught him how to behave when out at dinner, and even how to dress like he was part of high society. When he wanted to, he could actually be quite handsome and charming. This was clearly noted by the lady by the door who immediately thought he was very hot- even though he was a bit young for her tastes.

"Welcome," she said with a small purr in her words. "Are you meeting someone here tonight?"

Edward thought that was a mighty stupid question. He was standing in front of a nice restaurant, his hair tied up in an unbraided ponytail, dressed in black pants, a white shirt, and a black vest, and she questioned if he was meeting someone? (Of course he didn't actually own these nice clothes, rather he borrowed them Havoc who had outgrown them a long time ago and who had no brother to pass them down to)

"Ah! Edward!" came Roy's voice from behind him.

It had been a long time, but somehow, with the circumstances, and the sound of Roy's voice, Ed had flashbacks to their first-and currently only- kiss. The snow. The awkwardness... Fullmetal suddenly wonder if Roy really was serious. At first, he kind-of regretted kissing the colonel like that- it only gave the Cold Flame fuel for more blackmail against the brothers. But with Roy trotting toward him, dressed in black dress pants and a blue dress shirt, Ed thought that maybe Roy really did feel the same.

The handsome Flame came to a stop before the younger blonde. "Sorry I kept you waiting. I had to wait until Hawkeye left so I could sneak away-"

"Wait, you snuck away from Hawkeye?!" Ed gasped. "Are you insane? She's gonna kill you!"

Roy simply smiled and said, "It will be worth it."

Ed turned away, blushing. Under his breath he muttered, "Well? We gonna go in or what?"

The colonel couldn't keep himself from smiling. It was strange, because during the day, he was either frowning from deep concentration, or he was grinning to try to coax reactions from people. Edward however seemed to always get him to show a more sensitive side that Roy doubted he had even shown Riza in the years they'd known each other.

Roy turned to the lady. "Two menus please."

***

The inside of the building was just as lovely as the outside. Tables were spread out across the wide room, and more rooms could be seen with tables further back. Those tables however were reserved for other people apparently. The walls were a deep dark red, and the table clothes were the color of cream with a small carnation standing upright in a vase at the center. The floors were made of a shiny hardwood, and overall, Edward was impressed. He also wondered how Roy knew of such a place. It brought a frown to his face when he realized he probably brought his female dates to this and that was how he knew.

The woman led them to a table against the far wall. Ed sat so he could look up not only at Roy, but out the window. She handed a menu to each of them and asked what they would like to drink.

"I'll have a coffee," Roy told her. This did not surprise Fullmetal. In fact, it just proved the man worked far too much. He drank coffee just to stay awake. That, and to improve his normally very sarcastic and snappy mood.

The waitress scribbled down his coffee on a notepad that seemed to materialize from nowhere, then glanced at the blonde. "And you?"

"I'll have a, uh, hot chocolate, I guess," he said. Roy raised his eyebrow. Was it just him, or did Ed seem a bit...shy?

"Are you sure you don't want any milk?" Roy asked in an attempt to get Ed to act like he always did. It worked splendidly.

"I HATE MILK!" Ed yelled as the waitress was leaving. He turned bright red when he realized everyone in the restaurant was now staring at him. "I, uh..."

After several moments, the other patrons returned to their conversations.

"You are such bastard," the young blonde snarled.

"So I have been informed," the dark haired militant replied with a smile. "You seem rather tense...Why is that? Don't tell me this is your first date," he teased.

Ed didn't reply. Slowly, it began painfully obvious the mistake that Roy had just made.

"I'm sorry," Roy apologized. "I didn't mean to upset you, Ed."

Ed looked away, his pride wounded. "You didn't hurt my feelings."

There was silence until the waitress came back. Roy poured cream and sugar into his cup, and stirred his coffee, all the while, watching Ed blow on his hot chocolate before testing it by dipping his spoon into the brown liquid.

"I was not aware you liked chocolate, Fullmetal," Roy said, trying in vain to remove the tension and awkwardness.

Ed looked up at him. "I do. If you wouldn't send me on so many damned dead-end missions, maybe you would know something about me."

Without a hint of remorse for his words, Ed went back to blowing on his drink. He waited patiently however for Roy to give his sharp retort, but it never came. Instead, he witnessed Roy frown deeply and look deeply into his coffee.

"You're right you know," Roy said after a long time. "I would know you better if I kept you around. It's also true I don't always have your best interests in mind when I send you away. I'm sorry."

Ed looked up in disbelief. Had his superior just apologized to him? "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, sometimes you can be rather..."

"Rather what?"

"Sarcastic I guess," Ed shrugged. "Insincere you could say."

"Oh."

"But just then..." Ed actually smiled, and a blush spread from his cheeks to the bridge of his nose. "You actually seemed like you cared. Thank you."

To Roy, there were many mysteries in life. Why did he have such terrible luck? Why did he have so many papers to sign? Where did his first dog run off to when he was a lad? Why did the Ishbal Massacre really happen? Did the Yeti really live in the mountains of Xing? But the biggest mystery of all was Edward Elric himself. His moods and faces were so dynamic, it was hard to believe that they were all part of the same person. He could go from being pissed one moment, to blushing and thanking you the next. Roy hadn't met anyone quite like the Fullmetal Alchemist before, and he began to wonder if that's why he was attracted to the blonde.

"Don't thank me," Roy said. "I'm the one that got you in the mess you're in with the military and the what not."

Ed shook his head. "No it's not. It's my own damn fault. I tried to play God and bring back one person, and look what happens. I end up with automail, and a dog of the military. My brother ends up bound to a suit of armor. And she's still..."

"Edward."

Ed looked up, and Roy realized how deeply Ed was really effected by the death of his mother. It wasn't like Roy who's parents both died when he was older. Ed never mentioned his father, which led Roy to believe they either hated each other, or Ed didn't know him. But his mom apparently was very important to him, and to have her taken away so early in his life...it must be more painful than the alchemist led on to believe.

Roy attempted to console the blonde. "Ed, it's not your fault she died. Some things are beyond the control of even the best alchemists."

Although he didn't look convinced, the oldest Elric nodded. "See what I mean? One minute you're picking on me, the next you're getting all sappy on me."

"Which do you like better?" Roy asked.

Ed made a contemplating face that made Roy smile. He was adorable! Then Roy's date came to a decision. "I like them both."

***

The two spent the rest of the night talking about work, and amusing things such as "what ifs". Roy had ordered a steak, Ed ordered a plate of spaghetti, and the Flame Alchemist even went so far ordering a bottle of scotch for the two of them.

"You know I'm underage, right?" the sixteen year old asked.

"Come on, Ed. You're mature...for the most part," Roy laughed. "I think you can deal with it."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes. I do."

Roy poured Ed a glass of the dark colored liquid, then a slightly taller glass for himself. He thought Ed could handle a glass or two, but what if he couldn't? He was rather small after all. He would just have to monitor him, that's all.

Ed took a sip, then made a face. "Doesn't taste like I thought it would. It tastes...warm."

"Do you like it?"

The youth thought for a moment. "I do."

Roy smiled. "You have good taste. You like expensive stuff."

"Expensive?" Ed gasped. Roy had never known Ed to ever be worried about spending money...until he had to go to Mustang for more. "Why'd you go and buy such expensive stuff-"

"Because," Roy stated. "you're worth it. Besides, I like scotch too."

"I've seen Havoc drinking some fruity shit at work before," Ed said. "Do you like that stuff?"

Roy shrugged. "What did he call it?"

"I think he called it a screwdriver," Ed replied. "What's in a screwdriver?"

"It's basically orange juice and vodka," the older man explained. "Tastes like orange."

"Huh."

"Sound interesting?"

"A little," Ed confessed. "My mom never drank around us, so I have to say I'm a little lacking in alcohol knowledge."

"I could teach you," Roy offered. "I have a whole bunch of stuff at home. You could come over one day and-"

"I could come over you're house?" Ed asked.

"Of course. We could cover it up with a story that you owe me for destroying my office on an occasion," Roy said, eyes glimmering mischievously. "They would never question that..."

Ed laughed, almost imagining the Colonel giving an evil laugh like they did in cartoons. To Roy it seemed a little more carefree than before. Wait, where'd the scotch go? "Of course not. I've wreaked your office so many...times..."

"Ed, how many cups have you had?" he asked.

Roy hadn't realized it, but after Ed declared he liked it, he had apparently downed the whole cup, and went for another, followed by another. And with his size taken into consideration, he probably should have had a max of two cups. Roy had only gotten through his first cup.

"Ed!" he hissed. "You're supposed to drink slowly. It's not grape juice!"

"Should I be worried?" Ed asked. He heard what people did when they had too much to drink, and it wasn't pretty. But the stuff had tasted good so he got more.

"I don't know. You could end up giggly. You could end up getting violent. You could end up falling asleep...or worse."

Ed gave his superior a questing look. "What do you...mean?"

Roy sighed. "I guess I should tell you...Well, uh, some people get rather...aroused when they drink too much."

Ed snorted. "Alright. Like I would really become-"

***

Not too long after that, Roy and Ed left the restaurant. Roy was used to having a couple drinks, so he was fine. Ed on the other hand could hardly walk a straight line. And maybe it was just Roy's imagination, but was Ed bumping into him on purpose?

Roy flagged down a taxi, and once he had successfully hailed one, he helped a drunken Ed inside. The cab driver raised his eyebrow upon seeing the kid he had driven only an hour or two before red in the face and leaning against this man without any shame.

"Have too much to drink lad?" the driver chuckled.

The colonel gave the driver an address, but since Ed was so out of it, he failed to realize what address Roy had actually given the taxi driver. So it came to a surprise to the blonde when he found himself getting helped out of the taxi in front of another apartment building.

"Where are we?" the blonde slurred as Roy led him in side by the hand.

"My apartment was closer to the restaurant than your dorm room," Roy explained. "So I thought it would be better for you to crash at my place."

Ed allowed Roy to pull him up several staircases and over to a door that led into his apartment without so much as a whimper. Under normal circumstances, Ed would have been protesting the whole way, not to mention throwing a rather violent fit. But while under the influence, he was rather relaxed and trusting.

Roy opened up the door before them to reveal a rather big apartment room. There was hardwood floor as far as the eye could see, a kitchen with marble counter tops towards the back, leather sofas and chairs, and a small kitchen table. There was much more, but this was all Ed noticed before the rest of the alcohol he had consumed began to effect him. He felt incredibly warm, and he couldn't finish a single thought. One moment he had been thinking about calling Al, the next he was thinking about how sexy the colonel looked that night, the next he was trying to look around the apartment, then next he was back to thinking about Roy and the fact that he really looked good...In fact, he began to think about Roy a lot more than usual.

Being responsible, Roy guided Ed over to the sofa and helped him sit down.

"How are you feeling?" he asked with concern.

Ed looked up at him a smiled. "I feel......fine."

"You don't sound fine," Roy snorted. "Why did you think it was a good idea to drink all of that alcohol? I thought you said you were a genius..."

"I am," Ed pouted.

Roy gave an exhausted sigh and sank down into the sofa next to Ed. "What am I going to do with you?"

Finally overcome with the effects of all the alcohol he drank, Ed leaned over and whispered, "Anything you want is good with me."

Roy flushed pink and glanced over at Ed who was watching him closely...and rather seductively Roy concluded. "Ed, you obviously aren't feeling well. I'll go call Alphonse-"

Just as he was about to stand, Ed grabbed Roy's wrist with his flesh one, and jerked Roy back down. "Don't. Al's...probably...asleep by now," he slurred.

"But-"

Roy's retort was cut short by Ed's lips on his. The colonel's head began to spin. How long had he wanted Ed to do that to him? And he was finally...Alright, so he was a bit drunk, but still. Ed shifted into his superior's lap and pressed closer, allowing his tongue to dip into Roy's mouth. That sent Roy into a moaning fit. He had no clue how well of a kisser the blonde was until that moment. Ed's tongue maneuvered quickly through Mustang's mouth, and his hands were roaming under Roy's dress shirt.

It was several minutes it seemed before Ed pulled away to gulp down air like there was no tomorrow. Roy had finally came to the conclusion based on Ed's behavior that the blonde was indeed the type that when he got drunk, he got horny. Or at least overly friendly.

"Ed..."

The blonde smirked. "You like?"

"I...uh.."

"Want more?"

Swallowing all the dignity he had, he nodded, and allowed Ed to kiss him heatedly again. Instead of just sitting there and do nothing, Roy took Ed's hair tie, and began running his hands through that mane of golden perfection. He loved the feeling of that skinny body leaning against him, and those alchemically skilled hands running over his own body made him shiver so sinfully.

Why had no woman ever gotten such a reaction out of him? That was what Roy was thinking to himself as he remembered every woman he ever kissed and slept with. None had ever brought him so much pleasure by just kissing him-drunk or not. It was also new to have metal fingers tracing absentmindedly on his skin, and opposed to manicured nails. But he could deal with it. Roy suddenly felt Ed shift in his lap and remove his bruised lips from their kiss. Roy was about to protest, when those lovely lips peaked him on the cheek.

"You havin' fun?" Ed asked, tipping his head to the side to smirk at Roy.

Roy smiled back. Fullmetal was probably not going to remember anything when he woke up in the morning, so he could probably play along without any consequences. "I am."

"You're very handsome," Ed purred, moving forward again to capture those delicious lips again.

"Am I?"

"Of...course. I wouldn't be...tellin' you th...at if I was lyin'...would I?" Ed asked.

"Well-" Roy paused. What would be the appropriate thing to say in this situation? He was usually so sarcastic and mean to Ed- the blonde alchemist even said so himself, so how could Roy respond without seeming too different. "I, uh..."

Ed smiled, almost as if weren't drunk out of his mind, "Just say thanks you bastard."

Roy chuckled, then leaned forward and whispered in Ed's ear, "Thanks, Shorty."

A flesh fist suddenly connected with his jaw, sending Roy back forcefully enough to tip over the sofa. Roy wound up on his back, while Ed sat on top of him, looking slightly ticked off.

"Don't call me short!" he yelled loudly, but not nearly as loud as usual.

"Sorry. Sorry. Just get up!"

Ed scowled for a moment, but obediently removed himself from Roy's chest. Yet another thing a sober Ed would never ever do. Following direct orders from the Colonel. Normally Ed would make Roy either fight or beg to get him off.

Edward rolled off Roy's chest and stood. He offered Roy his hand, but Roy doubted he could actually lift him- that is, until he realized Ed had offered his automail hand instead of his normal one. Roy took it and was hauled up to his feet.

"Wow Fullmetal. You're pretty strong for a runt."

Ed snorted and walked over to a recliner that sat next to the window. Roy sighed to himself, and turned to upright the sofa. It wasn't like the sofa was incredibly heavy, but it would have been easier if Edward had decided to help. But it kind-of was his fault. If he wouldn't have crack a height joke, the sofa wouldn't be tipped over, and his jaw wouldn't feel like it was going to fall off. But he couldn't stay mad. Not at Ed.

After several minutes, the colonel was finally able to get the sofa back into it's correct position.

"Y'kno, Edward, you could have a least helped," he snapped. Upon getting no retort- drunk or otherwise, Roy turned, only to see Ed resting his hand on his arm, dozing in the chair.

Roy committed the scene to memory. The only other time he had seen Edward Elric sleep was right after the failed human transmutation. He had looked rather pained then, even in sleep. Now however he looked completely at peace. His smoldering golden eyes were hidden behind heavy lids, and his chest rose and fell gently. His arms were crossed over the arm of the chair closest to the window, and for once, he was quiet. Oh, how Roy wished that Hughes was there with his camera to capture the moment. Well, almost.

The Flame Alchemist hurried from the room, and returned only a minute later with a blanket in hand. He snuck back over to the blonde who was still gently sleeping, and covered his torso, legs, and shoulders with it. He had worries though that Edward would somehow manage to kick it off to expose his stomach like he usually did while sleeping. Roy had never actually seen it, but rumor from Al and even Armstrong who had traveled with the brothers, said that Ed would usually lay on his back, mouth open wide, and his shirt pulled up and an arm across his bare stomach.

"It was quite comical to see," Armstrong had once admitted.

Edward gave a content sigh in his sleep, and snuggled deeper into the blanket. Roy smiled at this, and leaned down to place a kiss on the runt's forehead.

"Goodnight Ed."

***

Birds tweeting, warm rays from the sun, and the smell of coffee greeted Edward when his eyes fluttered open in the morning. He gave a huge yawn before yelping as pain shot through his head like a punch from his teacher.

"Damn! What the hell?" he cursed. The alchemist may be a genius, but he had not foreseen the consequences of drinking so much scotch the night before. He had one massive hangover. And finally, he half-heartily noted his surroundings. "Where the hell am I?"

He stood with a grunt while pressing his flesh hand to the side of his head. With tiny steps, Ed followed the scent of coffee that lead him into a kitchen. The kitchen seemed normally enough, but he could tell from the lack of magnets and pictures on the refrigerator, and also the lack of written notes, that he wasn't in the home that had kids, nor was it really likely that a woman lived at the residence. Women for some reason like magnets. Winry had them all over the refrigerator in her workroom at her house.

"Good morning, Shorty," came a sarcastic remark from the table. Sitting at said table, glancing over the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee was none other than Roy Mustang.

Ed turned four shades of red realizing who's home he was in. "I'm not short!" he hissed, trying to seem as though he wasn't ruffled at all by the odd situation that he had been thrown into.

"Your head hurt?" the older man asked.

Ed wrinkled up his nose, only to find more pain shooting through his brain. "Ugh, like a bitch."

"I got some medicine if you-"

"Why does my head hurt?" Ed asked, rubbing his head and making an angry face. "Did ya hit me or something?"

Roy growled. "No, Edward, it's because you went and drank too much. You have a hangover."

"I don't remember drinking anything..."

This did not surprise Roy in the least. So, Roy was able to conclude that Ed was a forgetful horny drunk. Wow, what a combo, the colonel though sarcastically to himself with a smirk.

Ed suddenly stopped rubbing his temples and looked sharply at Mustang. "What are grinning about?"

Roy chuckled out loud. "Oh, nothing."

"No, it's something," Ed stated. He then gasped. "You took advantage of me, didn't you?!"

Roy did a double take before answering. "What? No! Why would I-"

"You are such a perverted bastard!"

"Ed! I did no such thing. Calm down."

"You are such a creeper!" Ed yelled. The more Roy blushed, the more Ed knew he was getting to the man. What a fun game! he thought with delight.

"Edward-"

"I can't believe you!" Edward continued

"Ed-"

"So tell me, was I good even though I was drunk?!"

Roy paused briefly to reminisce about that lovely tongue that had slithered into his mouth, and those sexy lips that pressed against his with such heat that it made him shiver. Ed took this as pondering.

"YOU'RE HORRIBLE!" Ed yelled loudly.

Roy snapped out of his reminiscing. "Huh? Oh, no! I wasn't thinking about-"

"Did you do this to all those other dates too?"

"No!"

"You mean you never slept with anyone?"

"I didn't say that," Roy said. "But none of them ever meant anything."

"One night stands?"

"Pretty much. And I promise you! I didn't 'take advantage of you'!"

"I believe you."

Roy was about to come up with more to say, when he heard what Ed really said. "Really? Does that mean...?"

Ed grinned almost evilly. Roy paled visibly. "I was just messin' with you. I know you'd never do that. Or else I would kill you."

"Right..."

The Flame Alchemist stood, and approached Fullmetal. Edward had gotten a little taller since they first met, so he came up to Roy's chin, but there was no way he was about to tell Ed that. Ed looked up with those beautiful golden orbs of his, and seemed to melt through the ice that usually flowed through the colonel's veins. Roy put his arms around Ed's stomach and pulled him against his own body in order to give him a kiss. Ed gave a squeak of surprise, followed by a moan. The eldest Elric closed his eyes and pressed closer. Even though he had a pounding headache, Roy and his expert tongue which had found its way into his mouth, had a way of distracting him from the pain.

When the two finally parted for air, Roy grinned at who he could probably safely call his lover.

"So, what do you want for breakfast?"