Hmm. You guys... hmm. I got over a hundred clicks on the last chapter in 24 hours, and only 3 reviews. Either the same 3 people are coming back an awful lot to check for updates or you guys aren't reviewing. I don't mean to say that I MUST have them, but it is nice to see if people liked reading, or even if they didn't. Flame if you want, or just gimme a smiley face. It pleases me. Thanks to Cybernetic Mango, whitedino, and Starswoop for being lovely :)

I woke up to a light touch on my shoulder. I jerked out of recharge, my optics flickering in surprise. I was sitting upright, leaning sideways against the glass of the upper deck. It was still dark out. I turned to look at who had woken me

Hotrod crouched there, looking sheepish. I scowled without thinking. "Yes?"

"You never went back to your room, so I came to check on you."

"Spying on me, now?' I grumbled, getting up and moving to go, but I jerked to a halt when he grabbed my arm. I wrenched it angrily, thinking he'd just let go, but he didn't.

"We need to talk," he said, a fierceness creeping into his voice that he rarely used around me. He bodily pushed my back against the glass, not violently, but hard enough to remind me that I was much smaller and weaker. I crushed a glimmer of fear as it sparked to life. He was big, but he wouldn't hurt me…

He leaned closer to me, still towering over me, even thought he was on his knees. "I appreciate better than anyone what you've been through. I have lived through the worst of it with you in crystal clarity. I felt what it was like, Bravura. I also know that you haven't been this petty since you were in middle school. Why?" He shook me just a little, enough to make the air catch in my vents. I couldn't answer.

He waited, then sighed and continued. "You act like the world just ended when you lost your human body, but every mech here knows you have more than you ever did as a human. You have an incredible lifespan, you can attach any equipment to your own body and use it whenever you want it, you can transform into alien technology. You're possibly the only Cybertronian left in the universe who even looks like a femme. But you throw fits and use Mirage to keep you happy no matter what it's doing to him, what it's doing to me."

I tried to look away, but he reached up and made me look at him. "I don't know why you've starting acting like a teenager, but it's time it stops. You need to make up your mind, you can't keep playing all three of us like this."

"All three of you? Look, I have a responsibility to stay on Skywarp's good side, but that's it! There is no 'three of you.'"

"Have you been so self-absorbed that you can't even see what's right in front of you? Mirage would do anything for you! You've got him wrapped around your little finger. All you have to do is flash those optics and he bends over backwards."

If my arms had been free I would've slapped him. "It's not LIKE THAT! We're friends! Ok? Friends! He cares about me and I care about him but he doesn't expect ANYTHING more from me, unlike you! You make plans about Us before I even know there IS an Us! Optimus told me to stay away from relationships, and he was right. I don't need you! I'm not a delicate squishy little human anymore! The only things I have to be afraid of are mechs like YOU."

He released me as if I'd stung him. I pushed off against the glass, getting right into his face. "I'm not obligated to choose you, or the Seeker, or anyone. I raised my wrist, the Decepticon emblem still glinting there. "I'm not afraid of them," I hissed. "Skywarp's done as much for me as you ever did."

He shuddered, and suddenly his fist was flashing at my face. He stopped himself, but not fast enough to keep me from flinching back against the glass with a resonating clash. His fist shivered inches from me, then dropped. "You have no idea who they are," he growled to me, looking at his hand with disgust. "No idea what they stand for."

"And what you do you stand for?" I said, trying to cover up the cracking in my vocal processors. I had gone too far. He'd nearly knocked me out for it.

He heard the fear in my voice, despite my efforts to hide it. "I protect things of value from them." His voice had returned to its usual softness.

"I don't need your protection."

"Yes, you do. I hope you never have to learn how much you need it," he whispered. He stared at me for a long time, maybe waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't give him anything. I didn't want him to hear how upset I was.

"Slag it all, I love you. Is it so hard to just love me back?"

My vocal processors made a strangled grinding sound, and suddenly he was pulling me to him. I resisted weakly, but my spark wouldn't let me run. I didn't really want to be comforted, but his arms encircled me and his head rested on mine, robbing me of my resolve. My body made a strange hiccupping sound, and he squeezed me a little tighter.

"Hotrod, I d–hic!- don't think this is –hic!- I don't think this –hic!hic!-" I realized that this was sort of like crying, but not like the sobbing I'd done when I'd first changed. My vocal processors were locking and releasing, giving off the clicking sound. It wasn't painful, but it was preventing my protests.

"Shh," he whispered, rubbing my shoulder. "I know, it's hard. I shouldn't have tried to hit you, I'm sorry. Shh." Suddenly he lifted me up, cradling me like an infant. He stood and walked to the junction of the walls, where the glass ended and the rock wall began, and sat against the rock with a creak of joints and a soft whir of electrical components, holding me up to his shoulder.

My logic processors were having a field day pointing out how contradictory I was being, letting him hold me like this. The rest of me just curled against him, shaking with hiccups every now and then. Half of me wanted to run away as fast as I could, but the other, weaker half, wouldn't budge. I could practically feel his spark through his chest, and it soothed my own confused heart.

Eventually my throat calmed, locking up only occasionally. I didn't try to get away from my Guardian, but I knew I should. It would be just another complication in the big mess I'd created.

I was angled so that I was facing the open window, so I stared out at the moon, which was still low in the sky. It was waxing, about three quarters full. I watched it until it had risen up enough to be out of my view, and shortly after that Hotrod's arms slackened, letting me rest on his lap, but still holding me. I looked up and his eyes were dim. He was tired, and he needed the recharge.

I considered trying to sneak away, but I doubted I could do it without waking him up. I sighed and let my head rest against him, willing myself to fall asleep.

I woke up when something jostled me in my recharge. I gasped and flailed, wincing when my hand struck a metal chest. I suddenly remembered where I was. The sun was just beginning to shine, and Hotrod was looking down at me soberly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," he said quietly.

I shook my head, laying back against him and sighing. "Don't worry about it. This is just like old times, huh?"

Hotrod nodded. "Except now you can't fit between my joints like a sparkling. I have to say I prefer you this way."

"Nothing's changed, you know," I said, trying to muffle my voice against him.

"I know." The resignation in that voice weighed heavily on my conscience.

I sat up slowly and slid off of his lap. He let me go, but I could tell he didn't want to. I stood up, looking the mech over. My spark hurt, a strange sensation. It pulled towards him, like it wanted me to go back. He must've felt it too, because he reached up to his chest much like Prowl had the night before.

"What is that?" I asked, touching my own chest where my spark would be. "Why does it hurt…?"

Hotrod looked surprised. "You feel that too?"

I nodded. "It started after I got up."

"I've been feeling it ever since you came online."

I crossed my arms. "What does it mean?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. It's not a spark bond, we'd feel each other. Maybe… something like a twin bond? We should probably ask Ratchet."

"Yeah. Jeeze, you've been putting up with this all along?"

Hotrod nodded, getting up. "It's not so bad after a while."

I shook my head; military men. I took his hand, and to my surprise the pain in my chest eased slightly. "Weird," I mumbled, then looked up at him. "I might not be ready for anything romantic between us, but I do care about you, Roddy."

"Since when do you call me Roddy?" He asked, smiling. We were both looking into the past then, remembering when things were much less complicated. I released his hand and started walking to the stairs.

"Let's get some energon, I'm feeling low."

Hotrod followed obediently, his footsteps louder and less frequent than my own. I stopped sharply just at the top of the stairs, surprising the Vanquish, who almost tripped over me.

"What's wrong?" He was leaning over me, one hand braced against the frame of the stairs to keep from falling.

"Bumblebee e-mailed me back," I said vaguely, skimming over it in my mind's eye. "Oh wow," I mumbled. "Today, that's… soon."

"What's soon?"

I put together a quick response for Bee before I went below, where my Internet connection would be cut off. "He said Mikaela is picking me up at sundown. She's going to drive something for me to ride in, and then we're going to go looking for an alt mode."

"You don't need to look, you're getting the Marussia right?"

I sent my e-mail to Bee then continued down the stairs. Hotrod righted himself and followed after me.

"Well?" He wheedled. "If not that one, what else?"

"Don't you think the Marussia would be a little conspicuous, being a concept car and everything? Maybe I should pick an actual disguise, instead of an instant give-away."

"But it's so pneumatic!"

I gave him a weird look. "Newhatic?"

"Sexy."

"Oh. Yeah, but seriously, the danger factor of going that far is way up there, and Mikaela and I will have to go alone."

"Hey, what? You're not going alone!"

"Yes, we are. You and Bee can't come with us. If Optimus finds out you guys helped me deliberately disobey Ratchet you'll be in deep."

Hotrod reached out and touched my shoulder as me reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the hallway. You don't have any weapons. Your armor is barely enough to protect you from a human bullet much less getting hit by another car or a plasma shot. You don't know field repair basics, you don't know stealth procedure, you probably can't even mask your signature! You need us to come with you!

I'm not a baby, Hotrod. I know how my own country works, and I can bet you Mikaela does too, if Bee and Sam trust her. We will be ok. I tried to escape his touch, but he'd have none of it.

I don't like it. At least take Bee with you. They'd never know. He's never here anyway. He does whatever he wants. Hotrod was doing a good job looking perfectly calm on the outside.

He can't come, he's taking Sam on a date.

You're more important than some stupid date!

I wheeled on Hotrod, reaching as high as I could to poke him in the chest. You'd be singing a different tune it if was your date!

His shoulders drooped. I don't get to go on dates. My date doesn't want to… uh, date me. You humans use the same word for too many different things.

I smiled, relaxing a little. You humans? You mean those humans, right.

You're little and squishy to the core.

"Hey, I resent that!" I burst out loud. A soldier jumped away from me fearfully, expecting some kind of horrible prank, probably. "Sorry," I called after him.

A few minutes later we were leaning against the wall, sipping from cubes of energon.

"What do you want to do today?" Hotrod asked conversationally.

"I was thinking maybe getting my Decepticon mark sanded off, finally. I'm sure some of these soldiers must have noticed by now."

"They have. Optimus had to claim it was from a brief stint as a hostage you suffered before your arrival here on Earth."

"Oh my, what a poor little femme I am." I downed the rest of my energon and got up quickly, tossing the cube into the recycle bin. "I'll meet you later, k? Maybe we'll watch another movie this afternoon."

Hotrod nodded from his seat on the bench, and I scampered out, headed for the medical bay, my energon level high and my spirits higher.

Getting the emblem sanded off was more painful than getting the actual tattoo. I'd whined, but Ratchet had just told me to suck it up and he would be done soon. After a few minutes he finished the major grinding and started buffing and polishing the now slightly dull spot on my wrist guard. It was almost as bright a silver as the rest of my body.

"There we are. That will soon shine up again, once the alloys heal over. I'm glad we got that over with!"

I nodded. It was nice to have it gone. "I have another question, doc."

"What's that?"

"Hotrod and I… our sparks hurt when we aren't close. Mine just started doing it last night when I fell asleep next to him on the upper deck," I rushed, trying to make it perfectly clear that I hadn't spent the night in his bunk. "His has been doing it since I woke up the first day. What's wrong with us?"

Ratchet reached up and tapped his temple thoughtfully. "Are you aware of each other's feelings or presence?"

I shook my head. "No, it just hurts. And it gets better when we're close, especially touching." I was a little embarrassed to reveal how close Hotrod and I had been lately.

"How odd… Would you mind laying back so I can get a look at your spark?"

I did so without complaint, and tried not to flinch when he opened my chest. He leaned in with his little tools. I could feel him poking around.

"Odd. I don't see any signs of a spark bond, though you pulse emissions are a little erratic. Perhaps a result of being separated from the mother spark? Or should I say father spark… Have you and Hotrod reconciled your differences in the time he's been back?"

"A little," I said indefinitely.

"It could be you let down an emotional block without being aware that it ever existed, and now your sparks are both pained at being split. They may feel incomplete, especially yours, since it's still quite small. I'm sure it will fade with time."

"So it doesn't mean I have to… bond with him or anything?"

Ratchet looked at me oddly. "No, why would you think something like that?"

"I don't know, Prowl talking about Jazz last night… But that's not really why. Just wondering. "

"You're not trying to bond with Hotrod, are you?"

"No!" I exclaimed, surprising the both of us. "Ah, no. Just curious."

Ratchet nodded suspiciously. "Alright then. Is there anything else you need?"

I shook my head and hopped off the exam table. "Thanks again Ratchet."

A moment later as I walked down the hall I realized it'd been a while since I'd gone to see Skywarp. I slowed to a standstill, casting out with my sensors. I finally found Prowl, not too far away. I went to go ask him to take me to see the Seeker.

Didja catch the Brave New World nod? I'm looking for an excuse to use a quote from The Wasteland by Eliot, but it's gonna be a bit :)

Be sure to go to my profile page and check out my poll: What do you think Brav's alt mode should be? If nobody gives me any input I'm makin her a dumba$$ pinto. Serrsly.