Hello my readers! Here is chapter 4 of 1+1=2! This chapter is quite long and I was wayyy to lazy to read through all of this more than once. That means that there will probably be multiple mistakes throughout the entire thing. I'm sorry about this, but I mean this chapter is long… over 5,400 words!

Now let me thank my little reviewers. A HUGE "thank you" goes out to promocat, xINFRAxREDx, Catmunk, JollyRandom, chochowilliams, Matsiko, and EmoFreak. Cookies for all of you! Please review again and tell me what you think of this new chapter. I'm not totally sure if I even like it, though it took me forever to write.

DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way own Loveless or the characters from Loveless. Nor have I ever, or will I ever own anything associated with Loveless.

**

From Chapter 3: Ritsuka nodded slightly, he was too tired to argue with the older man. Soubi set the small neko softly onto the sleeping bag and zipped it up. The boy yawned again before snuggling down into the warm bedding. Soubi smiled and leaned down so that he could place a gentle kiss between Ritsuka's two cat ears. The boy's eyes fluttered open and he looked up at the blond man for a few moments before he closed them again and whispered, "Thank you Soubi. I love you."

"I love you too, my precious Ritsuka."

**

Soubi could hardly sleep that night. He was overjoyed with the thought of having Ritsuka stay with him, but there was still something throbbing at the back of his mind. For the past few days, the boy had been his drug. He hadn't needed anything else. The world was calm and manageable for the first time in a long while, but things were staring to change. The forbidden pool of memories had been agitated. He was starting to remember the things that he had securely locked away. He loved Ritsuka, but at the same time just being in his presence was difficult. There were so many similarities. He couldn't look at him without seeing Seimei. The young neko was the thing that Soubi wanted most, but he knew that he couldn't have.

He had dedicated his entire life, his entire being, to one and only one person. He would never be able to forget Seimei. He could never move on, or get over the past. He knew that he had to try to fake it though. He couldn't allow Ritsuka to see him like this. His eyes were clouded and the pain in his head was starting to grow. Nothing could stop the swirling emotions that threatened to choke him. He knew that this would never end. He had an eternal bond with Seimei. His life was nothing more than a circle of false hopes and painful endings. He had to learn to shield himself. The pain caused by love was just too unbearable. He had to escape. There was no way to survive this torture.

The blond man got down on his knees and placed his hand beneath the couch. He was looking for something. He felt sick with guilt and regret the minute his hand found the small metal box. It fit in his hand perfectly. He removed it from under the piece of furniture and looked down at the silver finish of the lid. The container was icy. He wanted to look away. To look away and forget that he had ever seen this before, but it was too late. He couldn't turn back now. His mind was consumed with one thought and one thought only…..escape.

His long, slender fingers popped the tin lid off with ease. Inside lay two very small, very sharp razor blades. He had obtained them by disassembling a plastic, disposable razor. It had been a fairly easy task, and now he had the perfect tools. He swiftly removed one of the paper-thin pieces if metal. He placed the razor between his lips while his nimble hands undid the buttons of his shirt. He let the material slip off of his shoulders and land on the floor. His hand moved upward and removed the sliver of steel from his lips. He held it carefully between his thumb and forefinger. His body began to tingle with a mixture of panic and longing. He placed the blade against the skin of his left shoulder and waited a moment before swiftly dragging it in a downwards motion.

A sharp pain pulsed through him, before dulling to a burning sting. Red droplets grew rapidly along the line that had been left by the razor. As the crimson spheres increased in size, they joined together, growing heavier, before rolling down Soubi's pale skin. He didn't make any move to stop the blood from flowing. He concentrated on the feeling of the warm drops as they cooled, leaving a sticky trail behind them. He was in his own world now. Everything else had been turned to low. All that mattered was the pain that was coursing through him. This was real. No one could tell him otherwise. He would always be able to feel the pain, see the blood.

The artist waited for the blood to thicken. When it had stopped flowing freely from the wound, he picked up the razor again and proceeded to create the crimson dashes. It wasn't long before his cuts stretched from shoulder to shoulder. The trails of blood covered his chest and abdomen. The entire area of his collar bone was tingling with pain. He moved his finger over this area; counting every raised line. There were thirty-three of them. Not bad work for one night. He placed the razor back in its small box and returned the container under the couch. Slowly, he stood up. He could feel some of the wounds reopening. The blood was starting to flow again. Soubi made his way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He paused to make sure that the water was as hot as the water heater would allow it to get before stepping in. The cuts were on fire now. The water entering the wounds caused an unpleasant burning feeling. The small pool that was forming at the blond man's feet was tinted red. Soubi pulled the drain up and watched as the bloody water drained away.

He made sure that his skin was clean of all of the blood before stepping out. The injured area was red and sore to the touch. Each cut stood out against his sickly pale skin. The red lines decorated his body; a reminder of how desperate Soubi was to be free. He hated himself for it. He gazed at the image in the mirror, and it made him want to throw up. He hated himself for doing something like this. He hated the world for being so unfair and cold. But at the same time, he felt calm. His body was numb. He was exhausted and didn't have much energy to think. He knew that he shouldn't have done this, but now he was free, even for just one night. The thoughts and the pain that constantly haunted his mind was now gone. He had escaped.

He dried himself with a towel carefully and redressed himself. His injuries were in an odd spot, so he didn't even bother to try to cover them with a bandage. He just had to hope that they wouldn't start to bleed again later. Just to be on the safe side, Soubi changed into an older black shirt instead of his light blue one. Hopefully the color would prevent any of the blood from being seen if the cuts did reopen.

The fabric of the shirt rubbed the raw, wounded area. This was extremely painful and unpleasant. Soubi laid himself down on the couch, and gently and settled into a comfortable position on his back. His mind was clearer now and within a few minutes the blond man was asleep.

**

The morning seemed to come much too soon for Soubi. He was determined to remain where he was and fall back asleep before remembering that Ritsuka was waiting in the other room. How had he managed to forget? He quickly got up. The area just below his collarbone screamed in protest as the man stood. His skin was now covered with rough scabs. The dried blood cracked and split as the man moved. He knew that the pain would only last a few more days, but he still already regretted having inflicted the wounds in the first place.

Soubi went into the bathroom to use the toilet and comb his hair quickly before walking over to the room where Ritsuka was sleeping. The boy was still unconscious even though it was now 10:30 am. Soubi didn't blame him; he had gone through a very traumatic past couple of days. The artist walked over to the sleeping bundle and gently brushed a few strands of hair away from the neko's face. He watched as the raven haired teen shifted slightly before slowly opening his violet eyes. He looked up at Soubi for a few seconds before he seemed to remember where he was. A smile quickly graced his lips before he pushed the sleeping bag off of him and propped himself on his elbows.

"Good morning Soubi."

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm glad. Do you feel like having breakfast? We have cereal, but I was thinking that we could go out to eat if you want to."

"That sounds really great. I don't even remember the last time I ate at a restaurant."

"Alright then. Why don't you get up and get ready and we'll head out."

"Ok, I'll be ready in a minute."

Soubi watched as the boy sprung up from his sleeping bag and walked over in the direction of the bathroom. He heard the shower being turned on and a few minutes later Ritsuka came out wearing the same clothes from the day before and with his black hair dripping wet. Soubi smiled when he saw the neko.

"We need to stop and get you some more clothes too."

"Oh, you don't have to do that Soubi. I have clothes back at my house. We could just go stop by and grab those."

"Do you really think that your mother won't react to both of us just stopping by?"

"Well, I wasn't planning on letting her know that we were there. There's a balcony that leads into my room. We can just go in that way. I hardly ever lock it, so I'm sure it's open."

"Are you sure you want to do that? I don't mind buying you new things."

"No, you've already done enough for me. Plus, there are some things that I really like there."

"How about we stop there before we eat and go furniture shopping today?"

"Thank you."

Soubi gave a small nod before walking past the teen and into the bathroom. He reemerged carrying a dry towel and tossed it to the neko.

"Here, you need to dry your hair more. You'll catch a cold."

A blush appeared on Ritsuka's cheeks and he promptly started to rub the towel on his head. Soubi waited until the boy was finished before he ushered him out the front door. It took Ritsuka a moment to figure out the orientation of his house from Soubi's house, but after a moment he had taken the blond man's hand and was leading him in the right direction.

"Did you ever go to my house Soubi?"

"Not really. I mean I've seen it, but I've never gone in."

"Really? Did Seimei know that you were there?"

Soubi paused for a moment before answering, "Well, no."

Ritsuka smiled and let out a small laugh.

"This time you can come in, ok?"

"Alright, but we should try to go relatively quickly. I don't want your mother to hear us."

"Yeah, we'll go fast, and I'll be quiet."

They were now standing outside of the house. The balcony was about ten feet off the ground, but Soubi quickly found a way to climb up. He moved easily and hauled himself up onto the platform before reaching down to help the young teen up. Ritsuka moved over to the door and gave the handle and hard tug. Nothing happened. The glass door didn't budge at all. Soubi moved over so that he could examine the latch on the inside.

"It's locked Ritsuka."

"Oh really? I never would have guessed…. My mother must have come onto my room recently. She can't stand me leaving any of the doors or windows unlocked. She's been really afraid ever since Seimei died."

"Yes, well I don't really blame her."

Soubi stepped in front of Ritsuka, which partially blocked the boy's view of whatever the man was doing. The artist placed the palm of his hand over the area where the lock was. A second later, Ritsuka heard a small click. He watched as Soubi easily slid the door open and stepped aside so that the raven haired boy could enter.

"Soubi! How did you do that?"

"Not right now. I'll explain later."

"Fine, I know we don't have time, but I expect you to give me a real explanation."

"I swear Ritsuka. I'll tell you whatever you want me to."

"…Ok. Now come on. You can help me grab some stuff."

Soubi followed obediently behind the teen. Ritsuka went over to his closet and dug around for a few moments before pulling out a black duffle bag.

"Here, we'll put the stuff in this."

The man nodded in response and started placing the clothes that Ritsuka handed him into the bag. He noticed that almost all of the neko's clothing was the same or similar; dark jeans, tee-shirts, and a few zip-up jackets.

"Is that all that you're going to take?"

"Um-hm. I don't have many clothes that I want. Just let me get a few other things."

"Okay"

Soubi watched the boy as he darted around the room, gathering small items that didn't seem particularly interesting, but obviously held some value to Ritsuka. Soon the bag contained some of the boy's clothes, a few books, some CD's and a large photo album. Ritsuka zipped up the partially filled, duffle bag, and slung it over his shoulder. Soubi followed him out of the room. Once they were outside, the man turned around and placed his hand over the lock again. There was another click, meaning that the door was now locked. Soubi chuckled at the boy's obvious confusion and annoyance. He was glad that the neko didn't feel the need to press the subject of the locked door any further. He was fully intending on explain everything later, but right now wasn't the best time to get into something so complicated.

After they had finished gathering Ritsuka's belongings, they headed out in search of a place to eat. There were a few places that looked good, but the wait was rather long and both of them were getting hungry. They passed a few more places before they found something suitable. It was a nice little diner and there didn't seem to be many people inside. Soubi led the boy through the entrance, and a small bell clinked when the door was pushed open. There was a sign stating that they should seat themselves, so they decided to sit at a small booth in the corner of the room. A waitress walked over and handed them their menus and two glasses of water. They looked through the selection of meals and waited for the waitress to return. Soubi ordered a cup of coffee and some toast, while Ritsuka ordered a plate of pancakes. Neither of them said anything while they waited for their food.

Soubi was surprised that Ritsuka wasn't asking how he had opened the locked door. He had been expecting a violent assault of questions form the teen, but the boy hardly even looked at him. Finally, the neko made eye-contact with the older man. He looked as if he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by the arrival of their breakfast. Both ate quickly and silently. Soubi walked over to the counter to pay the bill while Ritsuka went outside to wait. The blond man finished and joined the teen out on the sidewalk. The silence was starting to get awkward, and Soubi was worried that the neko was upset with him. He was still planning on telling Ritsuka everything, but he didn't feel that the diner was the best place to do that. He pulled out a cigarette and lighted it. The boy shot him an unhappy glance before stretching up on his toes and plucking the smoldering tube from between the artist's lips.

"If you have to smoke, don't do it around me."

"Alright, I won't. I'm sorry."

Ritsuka nodded in approval and grabbed one of Soubi's hands, "We should get going."

Soubi smiled a quickly agreed. The day had just started and they had lots more to do. The older man intertwined his fingers with Ritsuka's and led him forward. He was surprised when the neko didn't resist. Whatever it has been that had made the boy upset, was now apparently gone.

The next thing that they needed to get was a bed. Although he didn't seem to have minded very much, Soubi wasn't about to allow Ritsuka to sleep on the hard floor anymore. It took them a few tries before they were able to find a furniture store that had what they wanted, but they ended up purchasing a decent bed for a good price. Soubi however, had managed to forget that they would have to have a way to transport their purchases back to his apartment. The teen hadn't had any trouble carrying the half-full duffle bag across town, but moving a bed frame and the mattress was a whole different story.

Soubi knew that they only had one option; call someone with a car. He reached into his coat pocket a removed his cell phone. The screen flashed on when he flipped it open and quickly scrolled through his contacts. He highlighted Kio's name and pressed send. Ritsuka watched the older man place the phone at his ear. After a few seconds, someone on the other end picked up and Soubi greeted this man with relief.

"Kio would you mind coming down here and helping us move some things back to my apartment."

Soubi expected his friend to give an enthusiastic yes, but instead he sounded confused.

Kio's reply finally came, "Us? Who's us? Who are you with Sou-chan?"

"I don't see how it concerns you, but I'm with Seimei's younger brother. He's going to be staying with me from now on and I needed to buy some things for him. I don't have a car obviously so we don't have any way to get this stuff home. I would really appreciate it if you could help me out."

"Yeah ok, I'll be there in a minute. But just so you know, I don't approve of this whole thing. I mean look at what happened to you after Seimei. I don't want you hanging around wit those types of people."

"MmmHmmm… Thank you Kio."

Soubi quickly explained the location of the store and said goodbye Kio. He closed his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Ritsuka wasn't entirely sure what had just happened and was looking up at the blond man with a questioning expression.

"I called my friend who has a car. He's going to come by and help us get this back to the apartment."

"Oh, ok."

A man in the store finished boxing up the bed frame and wrapped the mattress in plastic. Just a few minutes later, a small gray car pulled up outside the front entrance. The same employee helped Soubi and Kio tie the mattress to the top of the car. Soubi was sure that the teen felt uncomfortable around his friend. He didn't blame him; Kio gave off a strange vibe. The man was full of energy and enthusiasm for everything that he did. Both Ritsuka and Soubi were more comfortable with silence. Kio examined the neko thoroughly before he seemed to decide that he was decent enough to deserve to live with Soubi. Even though it wasn't long before he lightened up to Ritsuka, Kio never stopped whining to his friend about how he had never even been invited to the artist's new apartment. Soubi ignored the bitching and helped the raven haired teen into the backseat of the car. He climbed in beside him and gave his friend directions to his apartment.

After returning to his new home, Ritsuka took pleasure in watching Kio and Soubi haul the purchase into the apartment and then attempted to assemble it. Obviously, neither of the men was very good at this type of thing. They tried to follow the directions, but only ended up with multiple pieces of the bed bolted to other pieces that they weren't supposed to be bolted to. Ritsuka found this amusing for a short while, but before long, he took on the responsibility of directing the friends' actions. The directions weren't actually all that complicated once they had located the copy that was in Japanese. Before long, they had something that actually looked like a bed.

Soubi seemed very pleased with himself and wanted to set off right away to go buy the other things that Ritsuka needed. Kio was able to convince him to take a fifteen minute break before going out again. They had something to east and drink before leaving; this time they were prepared and took the car along. Kio drove Soubi and Ritsuka around, looking for different stores. They stopped into another furniture shop to purchase a dresser and a nightstand. Soubi had wanted to buy a desk too, but Ritsuka had told him that he didn't need it and preferred to do homework in the living room with the TV on. This statement had given the artist the idea of buying a TV to put in Ritsuka's room. Both Kio and the teen agreed that such an item wasn't necessary and, instead, offered the idea of getting a reading lamp for the boy. Soubi agreed that the lamp would be better. They purchased some curtains for the window and some new bedding before deciding that the bedroom would now be properly furnished.

Kio and Soubi managed to cram everything into the back of the car. All the furniture had to be disassembled in order to fit, and neither of the men was looking forward to reassembling it. Before returning to the apartment, the three made a final stop at the grocery store. Soubi bought enough food to last them quite a while. He had almost forgotten how much he loved to cook. Seeing all of the fresh produce and ingredients reignited that creative flame. Cooking was one of the few things that Soubi loved as much as painting. He could go through the same basic process; creating something from nothing. He could combine the ingredients much the same way that he could mix his paints. Something beautiful would be derived from extraordinarily simple items.

After piling the plastic bags in whatever open space that they could find in the car, they headed back. Ritsuka had seemed excited to hear that Soubi was planning to cook for them. He had spent so many years afraid of eating his meals. His mother made this simple activity into a nightmarish experience. He had no idea what foods were the right foods. Which ones would the real Ritsuka eat? Was his mother trying to test him again? Maybe now he would be able to enjoy something as simple as sitting down to a meal.

The car pulled back up to the driveway and all three of them had to make several trips, to and from the car, before everything had been brought inside. Once the groceries had been brought in and put away, they opened the boxes containing the furniture and started the assembly once again. This time they followed the instructions, and had the dresser and nightstand put together in a very short amount of time. Ritsuka's new room was nearly complete now. He put his new bedding on his new mattress, hung his curtains, and put all of him clothes and belongings into his dresser. Seeing the neko's smiling face caused a surge of warmth and happiness to course through his body. This was all that he wanted.

Once they were finished with everything, Kio and Soubi sat down to have a quick drink before Kio had to head back out. Ritsuka didn't want to bother either of the men, so he decided to read one of the books that he had taken from his old room earlier that day. The teen turned on the lamp beside his bed and settled down into the soft pillows. This was his favorite book. He remembered when Seimei had given it to him. It had only been about two months before he died, when his older brother had come home with the battered book. The brothers' mother didn't approve of Ritsuka's reading habits. That was something that the real Ritsuka just didn't do. The neko was forced hide the majority of his books from his mother. Because of this, the boy never had much to read. He had already read this book at least ten times before. He knew the story by heart and had even memorized a bit of the dialogue.

He was only a few pages in, when Soubi entered the room and informed him that Kio had gone home. Ritsuka was relieved by that; it had been an eventful day and he was fairly tired. Soubi walked over to the bed and sat down beside the raven haired teen. They just listened to each other's breathing for a while. Soubi could feel his entire body relax from just being near Ritsuka. All the tensions and stresses from the day were gone now. All that mattered to the blond man was being here with the one that he loved.

Soubi moved his hand over Ritsuka's and intertwined their fingers. "I'm sorry about today Ritsuka, I'm sure that it wasn't very fun for you."

"What do you mean? Today was fine. I think you worry too much Soubi. Why wouldn't I have had fun?"

"It's just that I wasn't expecting to invite Kio, and I was worried that you might have thought that I was ignoring you all day."

"It really is fine. I had a good time today, and I'm glad that I got a chance to meet one of your friends. Kio's really nice. He may be a little strange, but I still didn't mind having him around."

"That's good, I'm glad. I promise that you can have the next few days to relax. You don't have to worry about anything when you're here."

"Thank you Soubi….. but, there's one thing that I was wondering about."

"What is it?"

"How did you open that lock today? At my house the door was locked from the inside and you opened it easily."

"That's something complicated. I can't explain all of it now, but I can tell you a little. In a while I'll be able to show you what I'm talking about, but until then, you will have to be patient; not much of this it going to make a lot of sense."

Ritsuka seemed particularly interested now. Soubi knew that telling him this might not be a very good idea, but he loved the boy and he didn't want to keep such a huge secret from him. Soubi sighed and continued with his explanation. "You already know that your brother and I had known each other. Our relationship is difficult to define. We were very close, but in a different way than most other people are. I loved your brother, but he was not my equal. I was his servant; I still am, and will always be, loyal to Seimei. He was the only reason that I lived. We were brought together a few years ago. My purpose was to protect him; I am his fighter. It's a difficult idea to understand, but I believe that you should have little problem with it." Ritsuka now appeared even more confused and intrigued, "In this world, there are things that go on, behind the scenes, so to speak. There is a community consisting of groups called fighter units. These units are composed of one person with the role of a fighter, and one person with the role of the sacrifice."

"I'm not totally sure what you're saying, but from this I think I can conclude that you were Seimei's fighter?"

"Yes. Fighter units carry out spell battles in which the sacrifice controls the fighter, who is the one that casts the spells. I'm sure that it will be difficult for you to understand right now. The fighter inflicts the damage, and the sacrifice is the one who receives it. It is the fighter's job to protect the sacrifice. The two people in a fighting unit are connected in a unique way. They both share the name that was given to them at birth. The connection between them is immense and more powerful than any other. One cannot live without the other."

"Soubi… but then, why are you here? If you had a connection with Seimei like that, then how are you able to go on without him? I mean, even I sometimes think that I can't go on. Life doesn't really seem worth living now that he's gone."

"I remain here because it was Seimei's will. He ordered me to continue living. After Seimei died, I had no wish to remain alive, but I can never disobey Seimei. It was more painful than any torture, living without him. I felt as if my world could shatter apart at any moment. But now I see that it is possible for me to continue. Now that I've found you, I have a reason to live again. You're my entire world now. Our fates have been joined and there is no escape. I can already feel my mind changing. I know that I have to let go of Seimei. It is my responsibility to protect you now. There's no running away from this now Ritsuka; you've become my sacrifice."

"S-Soubi… How can I?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know how to explain it. We were drawn together for a reason. I loved Seimei indefinitely, but the way I feel about you is different. I fell in love with you instantly and I still don't understand why. It doesn't matter though; as long as I have you everything will be fine. If you stay by my side then I know that I can stand up to the world once again. I have mourned for Seimei, and even myself, for long enough. Will you do this with me Ritsuka? Will you love me?"

"...How could you ask something like that Soubi?" The older man looked shocked and hurt when Ritsuka said this, "You don't ask someone to love you; love just happens. I can't believe that you had to ask me that. Of course I will stay with you Soubi. I've already told you this. I agreed to move in with you. I trust you, but most of all, I love you. I haven't really fully understood it up until now. I didn't want to believe that I could actually be in love with you when I had just met you. I have been trying to figure it all out, but now I know that it's useless. I love you, and that's all the information that I need. If being forced into this world of fighter units and spells means that I will be able to stay by your side, then I have no worries. I will understand eventually, and right now I am more than happy to just remain in your presence."

"I'm so happy Ritsuka. I truly love you."

"I love you too Soubi."

**

Wow, that was a long chapter. More of the events in this chapter will start to make sense later. I'm sorry if any of you are confused by this, but more of the characters' pasts will be revealed later, and hopefully that will help to clear some things up.

Anyway, thank you all for reading!!!

I love love love those reviews so keep 'em comin!