Day 75
I was nervous. Very nervous. The most nervous I could ever have possibly been. Barbara was going to be there in a matter of minutes, and I was practically tearing a hole in the carpet of the ship's lobby with my pacing, trying to figure out a way of telling her about my feelings for Bailey without crushing her.
"Oh hey," I heard Zack say as he showed up next to me "Is Bob here yet? After being stuck here with you I can't wait to have some real guy time." He looked anxiously towards the door, and I would have came up with a witty comeback to that insult if I wasn't so nervous.
"I'd respond to that insult," I told him "but I'm too busy worrying about how I'm gonna break the news to Barbara."
"Right, yeah," Zack said, putting his hands in his pockets "what news?"
"About Bailey and me," I told him "that we're practically a couple." I'd made peace with Bailey after she got angry with me for not telling her about Barbara, and everything was back to normal.
"That's not news," Zack scoffed "that's a fantasy!"
"Point is," I said, choosing to ignore that particular comment "Bob and Barbara are coming to Miami to visit us for spring break and I'm going to have to break Barbara's heart."
"No, you don't," Zack said simply "how do I explain this?" He walked around a bit, looking for some sort of metaphor to explain what he was thinking. Finally he turned to me again.
"Okay," he said "you don't step out of one canoe until you're firmly in another one. Preferably a hotter canoe. Who's parents are out of town a lot." Typical Zack, it all boiled down to looks and make-out opportunities. And I'm pretty sure he meant something else by that "firmly in another one" phrasing, but if so I just wanted to put that out of my mind as much as possible. Zack burst out in a cheeky grin and a slight nod of his head. My god he's such a simple creature.
"Look, even if I were willing to consider that," I told him "there's no way I can hide the heat between Bailey and me." I'd been feeling a bit of heat recently. Whether it was real or in my own messed up imagination was another issue entirely, but that didn't matter to me at that moment. Whether there really was heat or not, I was still incredibly attracted to Bailey, and that was going to be hard to hide.
"You two wouldn't have heat if you were in a sauna," Zack said, bringing up a lovely mental image, which was then shattered as he continued, "that was on fire. In a volcano. On the sun!" He probably could have made do with only one of those extensions, but I got his point.
"Hey guys," said Bailey from behind me and I turned to look at her; My god she looked gorgeous "well I'm off to visit my cousin Cletus's gator farm."
"You're not going to be here this weekend?" I asked. I knew this fitting well into my plan of masking me feelings for Bailey from Barbara until I told her, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed at Bailey leaving.
"Nope, I'll be wrestling gators," she said with a massive smile "by the way. I'm supposed to tell a friend, my blood type is O negative." I didn't even want to think about why I'd need that information.
As Bailey left the room, Zack followed her to the door, still looking at me and gesturing like a madman.
"Dude," he said and I just looked at him with total confusion "you're old girlfriend is coming, you're imaginary one is leaving. You're golden!" I resented the use of the term 'imaginary' but I guess he was right. Bailey as my girlfriend was all in my dreams. Literally. Every damn night. It was getting to be a real pain.
"Whatever," I said and wet over to the door, looking out. I saw her and Bob in the distance; his hair stands out a mile away "aah, here she comes!" I retreated back into the lobby with Zack and composed myself.
"Hi Barbara," I said, opening my arms for a hug.
"Hi Cody," she said lightly as we wrapped our arms round each other. That was when I knew something had changed. When I used to hug Barbara I used to get a happy, warm feeling inside. Now though, I didn't. The only person I got that hug feeling with was Bailey.
"Bob!" I heard Zack shout and as Bob entered the room Zack threw himself at him in a very embarrassing way.
"You look great," said Barbara with that cute smile of hers.
"No, you look great," I said, trying to put as much heart into it as I used to, but I was aware it sounded a bit weak.
"So," I said, guiding Barbara away from Zack and Bob, whose hug had been a bit too long for normality "you're gonna love the boat. It's just like the Tipton but if you walk out the front door you drown." Barbara laughed.
"Still as funny as ever," she told me.
"Yeah," I said, but then the awkward part "so, Barbara…er, look. I really need to talk to you about something."
"What is it Cody?" she asked. Her expression just made this even harder to do.
"Shuffleboard at three," I said. I couldn't do it. Not yet at least, not when she'd only just arrived, it just seemed wrong to ruin her visit.
"Oh, well, I'll go tell Bob," Barbara said and went over to Bob.
"Decided not to tell her huh?" said Zack in an annoying 'I knew I was right' sort of voice "good move."
"No," I said "I just have to find the right time to tell her. I mean she's obviously still in love with me." Zack and me looked over to Barbara and Bob and saw them both move away from each other ridiculously quickly. Bob must have done something gross.
- - - - - Later - - - - -
I was on the Sky Deck, waiting for Barbara and Bob to get here, when I heard the annoyingly chirpy voice of Connie, the ship's Event Coordinator rang out behind me.
"Hey cookie Cody," she chirped, startling me "want to join the spring breakers and play toss the egg?"
"Actually I'm waiting for someone," I said, trying to sound polite as she made a ridiculous mime of tossing an egg.
"Okay," she said "it'll really crack you up." That was the worst pun I'd ever heard, and she apparenty hadn't heard me as with her irritating chipmunk laugh she led me by the arm to a circle of other people, most of them probably roped into playing the game by her too. Thankfully I saw Barbara coming towards me, but my joy at seeing her was shortlived.
"Cody, we need to talk," she said.
"Yeah, we do," I said "about our relationship." It was then I noticed Bob standing right behind me, really close.
"Can I help you?" I asked him.
"No," he said "just wanted to get a better view of the egg tossing. It's gripping!"
"Well, let's face it," I said, turning back to Barbara as Bob departed "when people are away from each other things happen. They grow apart. Become close to new people."
"You know?" asked Barbara.
"Know what?" I said, totally confused now. She'd totally thrown me.
"That Bob and I are dating," she said, putting an arm round Bob's waist.
"You're what?" I asked. I couldn't believe this. I got a surge of jealousy about it. I know I'd planned to break up with Barbara, but knowing that her and Bob were dating now just threw me totally off guard. I mean, Bob? He's a nice guy but I never figured he'd be Barbara's type.
"When did this little love connection happen?" I asked, aware of how angry I sounded.
"Well, you remember the day you left Boston on the ship?" asked Bob.
"Yeah," I said.
"That night," said Barbara. I had to struggle to keep myself calm. I hadn't even been gone one day before she hooked up with Bob!? I thought I knew her better than that. My heart was going a mile-a-minute and anger and jealousy both flowed through my body.
"Look we never meant to hurt you," Bob said as if that made everything better. For the sake of the situation I tried to play it cool. Aloof and casual.
"Pfft. Hurt? Me?" I said, trying to act cool and walked past them, so luckily they couldn't see my face and my expression of total devastation "I'm not hurt. Maybe I'd be hurt if I didn't…already have a girlfriend on the ship." OK, so I panicked. I didn't know what I was thinking saying that, I just needed a way to hide the anger I felt towards Bob and Barbara at that moment, and a way to diffuse the situation without either attacking Bob or breaking down in tears.
"You have a girlfriend?" Barbara asked, sounding annoyed. That was rich! Her being angry at me for having a 'girlfriend' (as far as she knew) when she'd gotten together with Bob the night I left!
"Oh he's not gonna…" I heard Zack say in a pained voice under his breath. I should have dropped the imaginary girlfriend bit there, but I was in it now, I couldn't suddenly say I didn't have a girlfriend or I'd look like a pathetic fool.
"Yeah, her name is Bailey," I said. It was the first name I thought of, and I knew since Bailey was off the ship this was going to work out well. I really should have learnt my lesson by then; nothing ever works out well for me.
"Yup, he's gonna," said Zack quietly.
"You never mentioned any Bailey," said Barbara in an annoyed tone, as if I'd done her some hardship while she was back in Boston getting cosy with Bob!
"Well you never mentioned my 'pal' Bob!" I said, matching her tone. As I approached Bob my anger started to boil over and he must have sensed it because he backed off and Barbara got between us.
"Okay, okay," Barbara said "so I guess we've both moved on."
"Yeah," I said "I tried to stay faithful, but Bailey is gorgeous and…she was all over me. I'm a man, I'm weak." As I said that I was just telling myself 'stop talking!' but it didn't work. The bit about me being weak was true at least, and the bit about Bailey being gorgeous. All I could think, aside from 'stop talking', was 'thank god Bailey isn't actually here'.
"Apparently," Barbara said.
"I'd love for you to meet her but unfortunately she's away at her cousin's gator farm," I said. I was aware of Zack tapping me on the shoulder but I ignored him, until it was too late.
"Hey guys," I heard Bailey's voice say from behind me. Any other time in all of history I would have loved to hear that voice, but just not then.
"Bailey," I said, feigning happiness since I was mortified on the inside.
"This just got slightly more funtertaining," said Zack, obviously enjoying my awkward situation. I fought the repeated urge to strike him.
"Bailey," I said again "what are you doing back from the gator farm?" I had to act as if I was happy to see her but I was just wishing I could have either been swallowed up by the ground or I could go back in time to stop myself from opening my big stupid mouth.
"Cousin Cletus drank some swamp water and got oakey-fanokey fever," Bailey explained "so the authorities came and gave all the gators to Lizard World. See you later alligators."
"Wow Cody," said Barbara "she's really…colourful." I could practically hear the disgust in Barbara's voice. I actually hoped it was directed at Bailey, as awful as that is, but no. It was all for me.
"Hi, I'm Bailey," Bailey said happily, greeting Barbara.
"I'm Barbara," Barbara said sternly, giving a Bailey a look that could have melted butter.
"Boy, you guys can sure talk talk talk," I said, desperately searching for any possible way to end this horrific conversation "but I'm sure you want to get back to your room and rest. For like a day or two."
"Hey, why, why don't we all do something later?" asked Bob, being less than helpful.
"Gee, I dunno," I said, trying to avoid any form of confrontation.
"How about movie night?" Bob asked and I really wanted to attack him with something heavy. As we all went over the poster for the movie night I just wanted to die. Anything to get out of this situation.
"Flowers and Chocolate?" asked Zack with disgust in his voice "isn't that that Hugh Grant thing? I'd rather remove my eyebrows with duct tape."
"Yeah and I'm sure Bailey's tired from all that 'wrastlin'," I said.
"No I'm not," Bailey said "and I've been dieing to see Flowers and Chocolate. It's the sequel to Tears in my Handbag." Why was nobody helping me to get out of this situation? God this sucked!
"Great so it's settled," Bob said "we'll all go together."
"Better find some duct tape," Zack said.
- - - - - Later - - - - -
"I'm really looking forward to getting to know your friends from Boston," Bailey said to me as we went down the stairs to the deck for the movie.
It had been a few hours since the horrific events on the Sky Deck, and after a shower, a change and a cry in my room (luckily nobody was around) I'd decided that whatever was going to happen tonight was going to happen.
"Yeah that's a bad idea," I told Bailey "they're easily offended so you probably shouldn't say much." Okay so I'd decided that I couldn't do anything to prevent it earlier, but since then I'd had a change of heart and was going to do anything in my power to prevent this from turning into a disaster.
"Ooh, hey film freaks," chirped Connie, suddenly appearing from nowhere to add extra torture to this evening "it's extra fun in the front."
"No we're just going to –"
"Seriously this is my seat and I've given up enough of my life. Go." Suddenly her chirpy voice was gone and she was actually very intimidating. Me and Bailey quickly got the hell away from her.
"Hey guys," Bailey said to Bob and Barbara as we joined them.
"Hi," Barbara said, clearly still not very fond of Bailey.
"Okay quiet down," I said "the movie's starting." I wasn't exactly very keen on watching this movie, but I figured anything that prevented Bailey and Barbara from talking was a blessing from God since it stopped Barbara from finding out that Bailey isn't my girlfriend.
I ignored Woody acting as London's servant. It didn't interest me at all and I'd probably just ask him about it later. I had my own problems to keep an eye on.
- - - - - Later - - - - -
The film had been going for quite a long time now, and everything had been fine and smooth sailing so far. I dared to risk a look across at Bob and Barbara and Barbara looked back at me so I quickly straightened up to hide from her. Another look over at the 'happy couple' and I saw Bob put his arm around Barbara. Now I'm not normally one for competition. There was that time on Risk It All but the less said about my actions there the better, but I wasn't going to be upstages and left looking a cold fish. As far as they knew Bailey was my girlfriend, so I had to act the part. So very cautiously and with a quick look at Barbara I slowly laid my arm around Bailey's shoulders.
This was ridiculous. Here I was acting like Bailey's boyfriend during a movie, and instead of this being an actual date, I was doing this for the first time just to cover up my own total idiocy. Fantastic.
"What are you doing?" asked Bailey as she noticed my arm around her.
"You have a piece of dandruff on your shoulder," I said, just saying the first excuse that came into my mind. I'd gotten better at lying to people, but some of my excuses were still just pathetic. This was one of the pathetic ones. I made a flicking gesture on her shoulder.
"I got it," I whispered, lifting my arm off her shoulders. I kept it round her, just held in mid-air. I must have looked pathetic but I was determined to cover my tracks until Barbara and Bob left.
"Sshh guys, quiet quiet," Zack said "Neil got Natasha truffles and roses but those are Michelle's favourite." All for of us looked at Zack in total bemusement.
"Well I can't sleep with all the blabbing so I might as well watch," Zack said. It's a good thing he wasn't sleeping. He snores like a buzz saw with bronchitis.
I looked over to Bob and Barbara again and would you believe it? She was feeding him a piece of liquorice. This was getting ridiculous but I had to keep up for the sake of my desperate pathetic charade.
"Bailey," I said "can I have a piece of liquorice?" She got a piece out of the back of it and held it out for me. I tried to bite onto the end of it but it wasn't staying still, so I must have looked like I had some sort of mental disorder and I tried to get the damn thing. Eventually I got hold of it between my teeth, but not before I got a weird look from Bailey.
"Something wrong with your hands?" she asked.
"Uh," I said "my arms fell asleep." I don't know which excuse was more pathetic, that one or the dandruff shoulder. I flailed my arm around a bit to sell the excuse, but that just succeeded in making me look like a total freak of nature. This evening was going from bad to worse, not helped by being swatted with a book by an elderly angry-looking lady on my other side.
"Tell your girlfriend to keep it down," Barbara said across to me and I froze. Oh crap. She called Bailey my girlfriend. If I didn't do something quickly this was all going to explode in my face.
"Yeah," said Zack "I think Neil's about to propose to Michelle."
"Girlfriend?" asked Bailey.
"No no no no no," Zack said "Natasha's the girlfriend. Neil's proposing to Michelle, the other woman!"
"You told her I was your girlfriend?" asked Bailey loudly, standing up from her seat and looking down at me, making me feel like the lowest of the low. I knew this would somehow cause my total disaster, I was just hoping it would happen after Bob and Barbara had left.
"We are not dating," Bailey said to me.
"Are you saying we're over?" I asked, standing up. If I was going down, I was doing it in a believable way. And apparently I was believable as the rest of the crowd all "aaaw"ed. Whether it was at us or the movie I couldn't tell, but it did help sell the moment.
"Over?" Bailey asked, clearly getting more annoyed with me "we never started!"
"So you made all this up just to make me jealous?" asked Barbara, standing up aswell. At least I was convincing enough to make her jealous. That explained her attitude towards Bailey.
"Aha! You were jealous," said Bob, standing up to confront Barbara.
"This is so much better than the movie," said Connie, a mouth full of popcorn. I ignored her.
"Wait, isn't that the maid you just fired?" asked Chelsea, London's friend from the back row.
"I'm not her maid, I'm her roommate," said Bailey angrily.
"Oh, gasp," said Chelsea in her simpering voice "you have a roommate?"
"Yes alright, alright," London said, standing up "I live in a shoebox which I have to share. I'm a regular student and I have no servants."
"Then, who is he?" Chelsea asked, pointing to Woody.
"Just a freak who likes you," London said dismissively.
"I resent that madam," said Woody in a posh English accent "unless you like freaks."
"Ew," exclaimed Chelsea, running off with London following her. I had no idea what was going on with those three, but I was happy to watch because it took the focus off of me and my annoying situation.
"I cannot believe you used me like that," Bailey said angrily. Oh damn, the focus was back on me.
"Yeah," agreed Barbara "and just to make me jealous! Men!"
"They stink," said Bailey "I'm outta here."
"I'm with you sister," Barbara said and the girls both left in a huff.
"You see what you did?" Bob asked angrily.
"Bob!" I heard Barbara yell.
"Coming dear," he said and ran off after her.
"Well Zack," I said sadly "I guess it's just you and me." I turned to see Zack crying at the movie, surrounded by girls. I was annoyed and confused, but couldn't help drawing a weird sense of irony from when this same sort of thing had happened a few years earlier, with me surrounded by girls crying at a movie and Zack with nobody. That irony would normally have cheered me up, but not today. I had just gone through the worst experience in my life. If I wasn't in public I would have cried, but I held it together. At least until I got back to my room.
- - - - - Next Morning - - - - -
"Hey Cody," Bailey said, approaching me on the Sky Deck clutching the teddy bear I had sent her last night after the move night fiasco.
"Hey Bailey," I said "I see you got my sorry bear."
"Yep," Bailey said "thanks. And, by the way, if you'd wanted me to be your pretend girlfriend, all you had to do was ask.
"Really?" I asked. Her willingly pretending to be my girlfriend had to mean she had some sort of feelings for me. Right? It must do.
"Sure," she said "I'd be happy to pretend."
"Oh, pretend," I said "right. Make believe. Fun." I was just trying to make my disappointment. She obviously would have just done it as a favour to a friend.
"See cause if I'd been in on it," Bailey explained "we could have made Barbara really jealous. I could done this." She reached out and tickled my sides. I've always been really ticklish, so while this was fun it was kind of unbearable.
"Stop it," I whimpered as she relented.
"And this," she said, getting behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, letting her chin rest on my shoulder. Her soft hair tickled my neck slightly, making my whole body break out in goose bumps.
"I would have pretended to like that," I said, desperately trying to keep up with the charade of the 'pretending'.
"And to top it off," Bailey said right in my ear "I could have done this." And she kissed my cheek. I nearly fainted.
"That would have fooled her," Bailey said slyly before walking off. My cheek was still moist and warm and tingling from her kiss. I broke out in a huge smile. Then everything went dark and I felt a whooshing sensation in my ears.
- - - - - Later - - - - -
I opened my eyes to see the ceiling of my room. I looked to my left and Zack was stood leaning on the wall.
"About time you woke up," Zack said.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You fainted," he answered.
"Oh," I said "I don't care." My fingers lightly brushed the spot on my cheek where Bailey had kissed me and I broke out into a smile again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Author Note - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I know the events of the episode "Flowers and Chocolate" took place over a weekend, but I compressed it down into just over one day for my own convenience
I was going to write my own version of these events but I figured the actual episode is the best portrayal of what happened and I couldn't top it, so I just told the episode from poor Cody's point of view. Mostly horrible and awkward for him this time around but with a nice happy moment at the end.
P.S: Thanks for all the review I've gotten so far on this with positive responses. Really guys, thanks. God knows if I didn't have those reviews I would have lost motivation for this story already. So thank you. So keep em coming, and maybe message me privately with some ideas. I might work some of them in, but no promises. But if there's a specific event you want to see happen in this story just drop me a message, but I won't alter the main plot of this story, as I've already got some major bumps in the road planned and some emotional highs and depressing lows, and none of them are getting altered.