A/N: Here is the second half of the flashbacks…and then we can get to the good stuff.

Inspiration: "Love Who You Love" by Rascal Flatts

-oo-

Late May 2005

"Okay mom, I will be arriving at 3 p.m. your time. Please don't confuse that with my time," I reminded Renee through the phone.

"I know baby. I think I can handle picking my own daughter up at the airport on time!" she chided.

"I will see you this weekend. I have to get to school. Love you."

I quickly hung up with my mom and flung my phone into my backpack. I hurried out to the car for my last full week of senior year, since next week was graduation.

Renee and Charlie surprised me with a weekend trip to Jacksonville to visit my mom before I graduated. She couldn't be there for the big day due to Phil's baseball schedule, so this was as good as it would get for us.

I made my way to school in the old Chevy. As much as I loved this old classic, I fully planned to replace it with something a bit newer before I moved to Seattle in August.

Finally arriving at school, I noticed that I was a bit later then usual. I parked between Emmett's jeep and Jasper's mustang.

The gang had gathered on the sidewalk in front of Em's jeep, even Edward and Tanya. I quickly ignored the bane of my existence and gave Edward a small smile. He returned it without fully looking at me. I frowned slightly and quickly turned my full back on them.

"Guess what guys? I just found out I get to go see Renee this weekend. It's a grad gift from her and Charlie."

"That is awesome Bells. I know you were bummed when you found out she wasn't coming," Emmett said, pulling me under his massive arm.

"Yeah. So I am leaving Friday morning and coming back late Monday afternoon. I don't have finals that day, so they felt it was okay to miss school. A short trip, but better then nothing."

After that, the bell rang for school to start. We all made our way onto the campus in a tight group. I noticed how I was the odd man out and this saddened me a little bit.

I bid the others goodbye at my Spanish class. I spent the rest of the day trying to decide how to bring up my feelings to Edward. I needed to get it off my chest before I left for Florida. For some reason, I just had this horrible feeling that if I didn't tell him before I left then I would regret it.

I made my way home like any other day. I cooked dinner for Charlie, sitting in relative silence because neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter.

After dinner was over, I made my way up to my room and grabbed my cell phone. I looked at the screen for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to call him. It was already 8, so I figured it was now or never and quickly dialed the numbers I had memorized.

The phone rang several times before there was a muffled, "Hold on" that sounded like Edward. Another sound of a door closing behind him also followed.

"Hello?"

"Hey Edward. It's Bella…"

"Oh hey. What's up?"

"Um. I kind of need to talk to you. Is there any way you can come over tonight?"

"Probably not Bells. Tanya and I are having a pretty serious discussion right now and I can't put it off. Do you think we can do this tomorrow?"

"Whatever Edward. It is not like my news isn't important either," I replied with the ever present sneer.

I heard a sigh come from the other side, "I'm sorry Bells. But I just can't leave right now. Tomorrow, I promise."

"Sure Edward. I will believe it when I see it." I quickly hung up on him without a goodbye. Yes it was a childish move, but I was sick and tired of coming in second. He had never hesitated to come to me when I needed him, and for the past six months, I had barely been a blimp on his radar.

I turned off my phone, made my way to the bathroom for my nightly ritual, and then slipped between the cool sheets of my bed before it was even 9 p.m. Pathetic, I thought to myself.

I laid there for a little while before I felt my eyelids droop. The last thing I registered before I lost consciousness was the muffled sounds of the television below me.

-oo-

My eyes squinted against the uncomfortable light being shined into them. I scrunched up my face before slowly cracking open my left eye. I noticed that the window was now open, a slight breeze blowing the curtain. Also, a small flashlight was being shoved into my face, preventing me from seeing who was holding it.

"What's going on?" I asked groggily. I turned from the light to my bedside clock; 2:30 a.m. I groaned at the time.

"It's just me," came the velvety voice that sent my heart into immediate overdrive.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to hear what you need to tell me."

"At two in the morning Edward? God."

"Sorry…this was the first chance I got. I didn't mean for you to get mad at me earlier, I'm sorry." He sat down on the edge of the bed. I sat up and scooted closer to him.

We sat there for a few minutes in silence. My heart was hammering in my chest. I looked out the open window and noticed yet another clear night. The moon shined brightly into my room, illuminating it with natural light.

I took stock of Edward's appearance. His hair was the same disarray of bronze hair; it looked like he had run his hand through it half a dozen times. He had on a black button-down shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. The ends of the shirt were slightly wrinkled, almost as if he had been up and down from the sitting position for hours. I finally looked up at his face; he just looked tired. A boy with too many things on his shoulders.

Without thinking, I leaned over and engulfed him in a hug. He hesitated at first but then gave in to the sensation. We held each other for a few more moments before I forced myself to pull away.

"What did you need to talk to me about Bells?"

I looked down at my hands, which took up wringing the comforter between them. How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I was completely in love with him? That his girlfriend was all wrong for him?

"Um, I need to tell you how I have been feeling for awhile…" I trailed off.

He just looked at me with his brows furrowed.

I sighed, "You see…um…I haven't been completely honest with you on my feelings."

"Okay, then what has been going through the lovely head of yours?" he asked.

Biting the bullet, I just let it out. "Edward, for the past four years, or maybe even longer, I have had feelings for you. As more then a friend. And I am not talking just some crush. I am in love with you," I took in a deep breath, "I know that you are going out with Tanya. But I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I was going to tell you around the time you asked her out, but I was too afraid that it would change our friendship."

Edward just stared at me. Not one eye blink, not one twitch of a muscle. Frozen.

I decided to continue, "I don't think Tanya is right for you. You are too good for her. I am not saying that I am good enough for you, but I think we could have something. I miss you so much. You are my best friend. I have been so lonely…" I finished right as tears began to slowly fall down my cheeks. I looked down at the comforter, too afraid to see his reaction.

I felt a jolt of the bed and a warm hand against my cheek. I looked up to find Edward inches from my face. He wiped the tears from beneath my eyes and just stared at me.

I felt a growing electrical charge between the two of us. Without meaning to, I slowly began to lean forward. As if he couldn't control it too, he began to mimic my movements. My eyes automatically shut as I felt his warm breath splay across my face. When he was just centimeters from closing the distance, a shrill ringing broke us apart.

I looked around in a daze, trying to find the source of the noise. Edward quickly hopped off my bed and dug into his jean pocket. He produced his phone in his hand and quickly turned off the ringer. He looked at the caller ID and then back up at me. I noticed a look of pain crossed his face.

"I'm sorry Bella. I am so sorry. I can't do this right now."

With that, he quickly made his way to my window and out into the large tree. I just sat there in stunned silence at what almost happened. I knew who was calling him. The one person that kept him from me. I had just laid my heart out on the line to him and he just took off.

I suddenly felt too exhausted to even fathom what fully happened and quickly fell back asleep.

-oo-

The next morning I made my way to school in a slightly better mood. I decided to give him the space to stew it over. I knew it had been a lot to take in, especially from someone who you were so close with.

The rest of the week was uneventful. Sometimes I would catch Edward looking at me through a side-glance. When he noticed me watching him, he quickly went back to whatever he was doing beforehand.

I had confided in Alice what I had told him. She reaffirmed my own beliefs in giving him some room. She suggested that I come see him when I got back into town the next week.

I bid my friends a goodbye at the end of Thursday's classes and made my way home. I made sure I packed everything I would need for the warmer climates of Florida. I decided to leave all my problems behind and deal with them when I got back.

-oo-

Early June 2005

I was jostled awake by the flight attendant, telling me we had arrived in Port Angeles. I made my way off the plane and found Charlie waiting for me at the baggage claim. After a quick hello and grabbing my bag, we were on the road back to Forks.

When we got back to the house, I threw my clothes into the washer. After dinner I told Charlie I was going to head over to Edward and Alice's house for a bit.

I turned my phone on and sent Alice a quick message.

Hey Ali. I am back in town. Going to stop by your place for awhile. I wanna see how Ed's doing.

I finally came up the drive to the Cullen mansion. I parked in my usual spot next to a huge, shaded tree. I made my way up to the door and was about to ring the doorbell when it was thrown open. I caught my breath in surprise. There stood Alice with a complete look of horror on her face.

"Alice! What's wrong?" I suddenly launched myself in the door, taking her with me.

"Bella, oh Bella. I can't believe he did this. He…just…uh!" she rambled while pulling me into the kitchen.

"What? Did Jasper do something?" I was becoming slightly alarmed.

"No, not Jasper. Edward! He…he left Bella."

"What do you mean he left?"

"He went behind my parents back and got signed off to have his diploma mailed to him. He is skipping graduation. On Saturday morning, I went to his room to find it empty. There was a note that apologized for everything and that he would be in touch. I went to his closet and half of his clothes were gone…"

I just stood there.

"…then Saturday night, we finally got a call from him. He and Tanya ran off together."

"Ran off? Why would he leave with her days before graduation?" I started yelling.

"They went to Vegas. I guess they got married Saturday afternoon. He was calling to let us know that they were going on to New Hampshire to find an apartment."

At this point I felt like a wrecking ball had been repeatedly slammed into me. I slide down to the hardwood floor and put my head between my legs. I knew Alice was still talking, but I couldn't make out any words.

Edward is gone? Edward is married? How could he do this to me, after all I had confessed to him.

I didn't realize I had been sobbing when I felt two strong arms lift me off the ground. I barely made out Emmett's face before I released a new round of tears. The next thing I knew I was in the guest bedroom I usually occupied when I stayed over and Carlisle was administering a sedative.

I woke up hours later with a warm body snuggled up to my back. I looked over my shoulder to see Alice asleep next to me. My eyes felt swollen and my mouth was dry. I took advantage of the glass of water next to my head. I quickly fell into a deep sleep once again.

I dreamed of Edward telling me he hated me. That Tanya was the only one for him. I awoke to screaming, only to realize it was mine.

Carlisle and Alice were there to calm me down. The good doctor gave me another round of sedative to lull me back into sleep.

Before I fell back into the darkness I mumbled, "How could he do this…"

-oo-

October 2005

I hated college. I hated that I couldn't enjoy my friends company anymore. For the past four months I was a shell of my former self.

The summer had been pure hell. Everywhere I looked, something reminded me of him. I couldn't even say or think his name. It felt like a curse that would be spiraling out of control.

My friends, bless them, tried to help. They finally realized I was a lost cause and just took turns sitting with me while I lay motionless for hours. I knew they kept in touch with him, but the first time they tried to talk to me about them, I went ballistic. Ever since then, they kept it amongst themselves.

They eventually got me to Seattle. I shared a dorm room with Alice, which made things slightly easier.

Tonight the four of them were heading out to a local party being thrown by Emmett's fraternity. Alice waltzed back into the room with a couple bags on her arm. She must have been shopping again.

I was laying on my stomach, my eyes watching her every movement.

Suddenly she stopped and turned towards me.

"Bella. Get your ass out of that bed. You are going with us tonight. I am not taking no for an answer," she walked over and yanked my blanket off of me.

"I am not going anywhere."

"Yes. You. Are. I have an outfit for you. I am sick and tired of you wallowing. It has been four months Bella. You are not doing anything for yourself by laying here and wasting away. We are in college, it is time for you to live it up some."

I just glared at her for a good minute. I knew how determined she was and with that, I decided to keep my mouth shut and go along with it. That did not mean I was going to have a good time. I will just find a dark corner and wait to leave.

When I came back into the room from my shower, she threw a pair of dark wash boot-cut jeans at me and an olive green halter top. I gave her a look of disdain and grudgingly pulled the outfit on. I looked at myself in the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door. I had lost weight, even I would admit that much. Once I got over that shock, I didn't look half bad. Alice walked up behind me and gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

After I let her pull my hair into a low pony-tail, leaving my hair wavy, we were on our way.

The party was already in full swing when we finally got there. Jasper quickly whisked Alice to the dance floor which I noticed that Em and Rose were already occupying. I grumbled to myself at once again being the odd one out and made my way over to the makeshift bar. I grabbed one of the traditional red plastic cubs and poured a hardy amount of straight tequila. If I was going to be stuck here, I was going to do it right.

I made my way over to a corner of the dance floor, sipping my alcohol. I was lost in thought when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I twirled around to find a very tall man staring down at me. He was of Native American descent and had the most beautiful onyx colored hair I had ever seen. He grew it out just past his shoulders and had it tied back in a pony tail at the nape of his neck. He slowly looked me up and down before a lazy smile spread across his face.

"Hey there. I noticed you were standing here alone. I'm Jacob" he held out his hand to me.

I just looked at it for a moment. "Hi…I am Bella. I was dragged here against my will, so I am protesting."

He gave a bark of laughter which immediately made me jump back a little.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you there. Would you care to dance while your protesting?"

"Um, I don't dance. It is hazardous to mine and other people's health," I mumbled.

"I think I will take my chances."

And with that, the tall man pulled me out onto the dance floor. Alice looked at me in shock, but quickly beamed. The night passed with Jacob staying close to my side. I came to find out that he was a sophomore, studying mechanical engineering. He was also a part of the frat with Emmett. I told him I was from Forks and he from La Push. I was surprised that I had never met him.

For the first time in months I had found myself laughing. My friends couldn't have been happier.

I knew I wasn't anywhere near normal after the months of purgatory I put myself through and the heartache that I experienced. But I decided as Alice and I made our way home that night that I would at least try to make somewhat of an effort to enjoy this crazy college experience with them.

I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

Despite the revelations of the evening, I still found myself wistfully wondering what he was going through with his first semester all the way across the country.