I disclaim the werewolf jokes in here because they are actually dumb blond jokes adapted there's also some human ones the same way.

"D-D-D-D-DIE! All for coming to see if you had changed your mind!!!!!" Melanie screamed.

"I'm sorry Melanie if I had locked the door we wouldn't have to." I replied sadly.

Melanie fell to the floor in sobs. "You're my best friends and you kept the biggest secret in the world and now I either become a vampire or die!" she was weeping. "What if I promise not to tell?" she was crying too much. I couldn't take it.

"Fine promise but if you tell that's the end of you no choices." I said.

"How can we trust her?" Sophie said and Melanie looked at her in disbelief.

"Same way Edward could trust Bella." I said

"Who and who?" Sophie said

"Were going on a trip this weekend." I said. We had completely forgot about Melanie "oh and if you ever need blood at a time you can't go hunting tell me I'm your girl!" I said with a smile.

"I will!" she replied and we did our special handshake. Basically crossing arms and holding hands up top. Melanie looked at us in disgust.

"How could you say some thing like that with a strait face let alone a smile your practically eating her!" Melanie said kind of mad right then.

"Would you rather she ate you?" I asked.

Something dawned in her eyes " THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH AND THAT'S WHY YOU COVERED FOR HER!!!!!!!" obviously she didn't like the topic of 'food' I just smiled and made a chomping sound and she jumped back. Sophie and I laughed.

"To much fun messing with them!" Sophies said

"Too long since I did that!" I said laughing. Melanie looked at us questioningly "messing with humans is so much fun." I clarified. She just looked in disbelief.

"Was that what you were doing with me the whole time?" she asked.

"You think we'd actually kill you?" I said laughing harder. I turned to Sophie. "11 women were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were werewolf, one was a vampire. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the vampire gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The werewolves applauded." I said and Sophie and I burst out laughing but Melanie just stared.

"Did you just make a dumb werewolf joke?" Melanie asked. The two of us erupted into laughs.

"Did you here the one about the two wolves?" Sophie asked between laughs.

"no." I replied curiously.

"2 wolves walk into a building… you'd think they'd see it before hand!" we rolled into more laughs. But Melanie not sharing our werewolf humor just stared at us. "If you're not going to laugh just know werewolves are like blondes except some quilettes." She said "like Jacob" she added.

"How do you drown a blond… jeeze Jacobs hilarious? I knew you knew the Cullen's." I added

"What vampire doesn't?"She said. "These mutt jokes are for every werewolf except quilettes ones!"

"Mutt?" Melanie asked

"It's a derogatory term." I explained. "Back to the jokes! One sunny afternoon, two mutts were walking through the woods. While they were on the trail, they came across a set of tracks. The first mutt said, "Hey look, deer tracks!" The other mutt said, "Those aren't deer tracks, they're bear tracks." While they were arguing over whether they were bear or deer tracks, they got hit by a train." Then we all burst out laughing.

"A mutt is driving down the road in the country and spots another mutt, in a canoe, in a wheat field, rowing like crazy. She slams on the brakes and rolls down the window and yells to the woman, "What are you doing? You're in a field! "
The woman stops briefly to listen and then returns to rowing like mad.
Angry because she's been ignored she yells again,"Hey! Stop that! You're making us mutts look dumb."
Ignored again the mutt in the car yells," You're lucky I can't swim or I'd come out there and kick your ass!"" Sophie said laughing. Then she went into convulsions

"Sophie what's wrong?" I yelled. Then I smelled it BLOOD. I looked out the window the naboors child had just cut his arms legs and head open falling out of the out of ground pool and landing on rocks he'd live but Sophie wouldn't. I looked back and Melanie was in her grip.

"Ow that hurts!" said Melanie.

"She can't hear you." I told her. "Her vampire side has taken over." Melanie looked scared I pried Sophie grip off of her and handed her my wrist again. Sophie really hadn't gotten much before.

"Don't!" cry Melanie.

"Idiot shut up or she'll go after you." I said Sophie bit hard into my wrist this time staying latched on hard and gulping. She was like this for 5 minutes. Melanie just sat there frozen realizing this could be her. After Sophie survived and curled up in a corner disgusted by the monster was she. I looked at Melanie. "If that had been you, you would be dead by now you know." I said. She looked scared and shocked and scared at the same time. I crawled over and comforted Sophie. "It doesn't hurt and you know I would do ANYTHING for you." I told her.

"Even die?" she asked angered. Melanie winced.

"I wouldn't though and you know that." I told her

"I don't care what if you were human and that still happened?" she asked.

"I would give my life you're my best friend and you know that I what I would do for you." I told her.

AUTHORS NOTE 1000 WORDS BACK THERE ALL NEW RECORD FOR ME!!!!