A New Beginning

Chapter Five

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

-Second Hand Serenade 'fall for you'

. 'Come on Lil's, wake up. You'll have a late start; we don't want that now do we.' Victoria called grabbing her school books together.

Lily opened her eyes. The sun had filled the room already, she clenched her eye lids closed again in pain. Then all at once she felt the pain of loss in her heart. She rolled onto her side facing away from the window. She laid her eyes on her bedside table where a silver necklace shined on top of her clean robes. Lily scrunched her eyes shut, a tear making its way down her cheek. It was a birthday gift from her parents earlier this year. Victoria grabbed her bag and looked towards lily's figure. 'You coming?'

'Meet you there'. Lily managed to say with enthusiasm. Victoria left the room, leaving Lily to herself, more tears streamed down her face.

_

James sat in the common room with Remus. His eyes flickered over to the girl's dormitory entrance every five seconds hoping to see Lily. After Victoria came out and the rest of the students left the common room for class he realized she would not come. He went to make his way up the stairs but Sarah grabbed his arm and kissed his forehead. Even if he did go up there now what could he do? Would she even want my comfort?

It was halfway through the day when Lily climbed out of bed. The day had changed, the glistening sun was now replaced by dark grey shadows and heavy ran. Lily changed into her robes and slung a Gryffindor scarf around her neck. She contemplated where she was heading and found herself outside Dumbledore's office. He welcomed her in and offered her some toffees.

'No sir.' Her voice was off. She could feel tears brewing ready to fall from her emerald eyes. Dumbledore stood and walked towards his large wall sized window. He watched the rain trickle down the glass and spoke.

'I am deeply sorry lily.' He paused and turned to her 'Voldemort is becoming more powerful everyday.' Lily's heart beat hard at the name, the man who was behind the source of her parent's death.

'But they were muggles'. She trembled.

'And that is precisely why Voldemort and his followers have no mercy. Your sister is well though. She is staying with your grandparents at the moment.' The tears swelled in her eyes and she looked away from her headmaster. 'Is there anything I can do for you?'

She crossed her head. 'No. I came here because I felt like I had to.'

'I'm here if you need me Miss Evans. But remember to be strong. I don't expect you to be up and running for the next few days but please, try my dear. You're a brilliant student, how will Gryffindor be doing without the amount of points you win in class for them.' Lily gave him a small smile.

'Thank you sir.' She made her way out and headed for the Great hall to grab something to eat. It was full of students, she hurried to the Gryffindor table eager to leave it. She picked up a bun from the end of the table.

_

James watched the magical ceiling as a lightning bolt struck through the dark over powering clouds. Sirius threw a chip at his face and gave a cheesy smile.

'A little quiet eh.' James picked at the lettuce on his plate.

'What's wrong James?' Sarah asked resting her hand on his.

'Nothing.' He lied. At that moment he noticed Lily at the end of the table. She picked up a bun and walked straight out. James stood picking up two more buns.

'Where you going James?' Sarah questioned at his sudden movement.

'Going to help a friend.' He walked quickly towards the Entrance hall. He stopped when inside uncertain in which direction she would of taken. The large oak doors were slightly ajar. He walked towards them and peered out at the rain outside. She wouldn't have, would she? He ran out into the rain and found a cloaked figure by the lake. 'Lily!' He called out. She looked around. 'Lily what are you doing? You'll get sick out here.' She turned away from him hiding her face. He took his cloak off and wrapped it over her.

'Don't be stupid. You'll get a cold.' She tried to thrust his cloak off but he kept it there. 'What are you doing here?'

'I came to check on you. I got you two more buns as well.' He held them out for her. She didn't move. 'One bun isn't going to fill you Lily.' She glanced up at him for a second and then away again. 'Please come inside.' She crossed her head. 'This is the wrong way to react.'

'and what's the right way to react!' She yelled. 'Have you just lost your parents. Have you got a home to go to? No, you don't have a clue how I'm feeling or what it's like so don't tell me how to and how not to react.' She spat crying.

He took a seat next to her on the wet grass. 'No I guess I don't. But I know what it's like not eating much, a cold and not going to classes is. Don't throw your pain out like this Lily, and don't block out the people trying to help you. I may not understand, but I still want to help you.' He looked at her. She was whimpering in her arms, the sight of Lily so distraught made him angry. He clenched his teeth and spoke with a steady voice 'I am here for you lily.'

She looked over at him holding her tears. The rain made his hair flat, he held an arm out for her, she accepted it and clenched his firm shoulders in a tight hold. He spoke after another minute of her loud sobs. 'Any problems you have Lily, I'll be here right beside you.' He heard her breath in steady, and took this moment of silence to move her inside. 'You should go to class. Lunch would have ended awhile ago.'

She shifted a little in his arms. 'I... don't think I can face going to class just yet'.

'Then go to your room.' He stood and held a hand out to her. She Hesitated, but took his hand and let him lead her to the Gryffindor Common room. 'Go for a nice warm bath.' He said as they pulled off there wet cloaks.

'Thank you James. You better get to class or you'll lose points from Gryffindor.'

He laughed. 'Take care Lily.' She nodded. 'I'll be checking on you later this afternoon.' Before she replied he added 'I'm going to make sure your okay through this.' He left. She watched the portrait hole close behind him.

'Thanks James' She whispered and walked towards the girl's dormitory.

James walked into his potions class and took a seat by Sirius.

'Jeez what took you so long Prongs?' He searched James for answers. 'You're all wet.'

James shrugged. 'Helping a friend.' James saw Sarah turn in her seat and gave him a concerned look. He smiled at her knowing he'd have to give some answers.

_

Lily walked out of her dormitory in the afternoon. Everyone was in the great hall having dinner. After a long deliberation of thoughts lily decided to go down and join them.

'Lily.' Victoria called from her group of friends. She made her way to them and took a seat. 'Where were you today? I was worried sick! James said you had things to deal with.'

'Yeah, I did. But I'm better now'. She lied giving a small smile. The others filled her in with the new gossip of the day. Lily just smiled, it was hard to sit there and pretend everything was fine, but it would have been much worse if everyone knew about her parents and stared at her with concerns and sympathy. It was better to feel it and live normal with the others then it was to feel it as well as them treating her in any special way because of it. She could only bare the thought that James knew. The least likely human being on planet she would have ever confided in. She searched down the table and found him. He was smiling at her, that famous lop sided grin that made him look three years younger. She returned it. He had changed, everything about him had. He was so sweet now, so caring. He turned away and started talking to Sarah. He wasn't womanizing anymore either. He seems to really like her. Look at the way he looks at her. He started laughing as Sarah made a joke. There so happy. Lily turned back to her friends.

Later that night Lily walked into the common room after breaking up a few fights between Slytherin and Ravenclaw in the hallway. Victoria and a few others were studying in the back booths. 'Hey,' she said walking up to them. 'Do you know where James is?'

'Yeah, his got detention. He arrived to potions late. It was pretty funny. He walks in wet and Professor Hern ask him where his been, then James reply's 'out'. The teacher chucked a spasm.' One of the girls said beaming. The others giggled.

'I was surprised he didn't take him to the headmaster. Sarah was so worried.' Christina, a blonde haired girl added.

'I bet she was.' Lily replied feeling rather guilty. She smiled at them all and said her goodbyes and left for her dormitory.

_

'No. Mum, Dad!' lily ran into her house. The door was off its hedges. She ran into the lounge room. The furniture was everywhere. She ran up the stairs, passing her room and Petunia's until she came to the end of the hall, staring at the door that belonged to her parents' room. She opened it, afraid of what she'd find inside. It creaked open and all at once green flashes erupted. The sounds of a baby crying were lingering around the room with a distant but thrilling laugh from a man. Lily searched the empty room. 'Mum? Dad?' She screamed. The man laughing stopped. But the child cries were still wailing around the room. Lily confused, tears flowing crazy down her face paced the room alert. 'Who's there? Who's baby? Where are you? Mum, dad!' The baby cry's ended and the room was now full of silence. Green flashes crept across the room, lily screamed… awakening.

She looked around the dormitory panting. Victoria and Melanie entered. 'Hey Lil's. What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost.'

Lily shook her head, grasping onto what had just happened. 'Just a nightmare.' She looked around the room once more, her heart decreasing into a normal beat. 'Is there many students down stairs?'

'Not too many. James is back now.' Lily got out of bed and thanked them and made her way to the Common room. She found James sitting with Sirius in front of the fire. A couple of seventh years were studying with younger years in a corner and a girl was reading by one of the large windows. James looked up noticing Lily. He stood and walked over to her. Sirius stood as well and yawned.

'I'm off to bed. See you kiddo's later.' He waved and walked towards the boy's dormitories.

Lily turned to face James. 'Hey' she smiled.

'How you going?' He asked leading her towards the couch in front of the fire.

'All right. I heard about your detention. I am so sorry-'

'It's alright Lily.' James said. 'Take a seat.' She sat, angling herself to face him.

'It's my fault you got that detention.'

'No it's not. It was my choice to go after you and stay. So let's forget you know about it. So, are you starting classes tomorrow?' Lily went to argue, but James held a hand up to stop her. 'Did you get more then just a bun to eat at dinner?

'Yes I did.' Lily answered, feeling like a child.

'Good. It was different in Charms today. There were no know-it-alls sitting there answering every question Professor Flitwick asked.'

'Aye!' Lily said insulted. She kicked his shin.

'Oi. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. We get a lot of house points from you.'

'Compliment or not, I'm not a know-it-all. Mister'

'No you're a geek.' James gave a big grin as Lily evil eyed him. 'I missed your facial comebacks.'

Her face went blank. She looked at him closely, taking in his sincere expression. His hazel eyes dazed her, His grin cheeky enough to melt to. Lily looked away shocked in herself. Potter, dazzling! Oh god.' You really have changed.' She managed to say. 'A lot'.

'Is that a good thing?' He asked.

'I believe it is.'

'Lily Evans giving me a compliment, Wow, I guess we both are even tonight.'

She smiled and looked back to him standing. 'Thank you.'

'For what?' He asked puzzled standing with her.

'Everything you have done for me in the last day. Without your help of making me smile I'd probably be in the hospital wing sick with a cold and a whole lot of other symptoms.'

'No problems. I'll be your guardian knight until your up and running again. Oh, we have new assignments for Transfiguration.' Adding anything to keep her here, a little pathetic eh

'Really. What's it about.' She asked interested.

'I'm not sure actually.' To tell the truth or to not… 'I was too preoccupied on whether you'd be okay or not. Now that sounded too corny.

'That's, sweet.' Lily said feeling a rush of tingles run through her. It's Potter, remember.

'Err, best get some sleep, it's late. Will I be seeing you in classes tomorrow?'

'I'm not sure. I think so.' She looked towards her feet, her thoughts confusing her. How is he making me feel this way? It's just because I'm vulnerable. That must be it. I don't want to leave yet… James lifted her chin. Lily surprised with how unaware she was of this movement towards her. She blushed a light pink warming in her cheeks at the closeness of him. She shook the recurring thoughts that now coursed through her. You don't want this feeling. This isn't you; you'd never want to be in his arms… never wanted to breathe in his scent.

'Lily' He said softly. She looked into his eyes, her heart pounding. 'What ever you decide, I'll help you either way.' His smile and calmed words soothed her. She felt herself slip in her thoughts under his warmth. She wanted him, his touch, his skin.

She pulled away and inhaled a breath. He puzzled at her. 'Are you okay?' She thinks I'm trying to get with her again. I shouldn't have gotten so close…

She looked back down towards her feet. Am I? Of course I'm not, but he had cleared my pain for those few moments.

'Yeah, sorry. I just remembered, I was meant to meet Victoria ten minutes ago.' She lied, hiding her dramatic break away. 'Night.' She practically ran towards the dormitory stairs. The further from him the more her heart settled. She shook her head when out of sight. Astounded in herself and her body's reaction towards him.