Heart

Chapter Six

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

-Second hand serenade 'fall for you'

Lily stepped into her first class of the morning, Charms. She took a seat by Victoria. 'You made it'. She said beaming. Lily nodded taking her Charms books out of her bag. She stole a glace at James group and caught his eye. He gave her a smile and mouthed hello. The teacher walked in and started the lesson. Lily took out her favorite flower scented quill. Her mother had chosen this quill with her when she came into Diagon Alley in her sixth year. Her mother couldn't stop awing about the place. Lily dropped the quill watching as it swayed gently to the floor and lightly hit the solid ground. She stared at it, horror in her eyes. Did she fall as slowly as a frail feather? She leant down to it and picked it up carefully as if it would break at any moment. If only I could pick you up like this mum. She placed the quill onto her desk, vivid images of her mother's body lying on the ground made her tremble.

'Miss Evans. For the third time please stand up!' Lily looked towards Professor Flitwick. 'I'm terribly sorry Professor.' She told him standing.

'Please come forward and assist us with a demonstration.' She followed his direction to the front. He turned to the rest of the class. 'Can I have a volunteer?'

'Me, me'. Peter piped standing.

'Sit down Wormtail, you'll end up turning Miss Evans into a pie and then attempt to eat her.' The class roared in laughter.

'For that Mr. Potter you can join Evans.' James got to his feet and passed Peter who slumped back into his chair looking a little disgruntle. 'You are going to be performing a truth spell on each other.'

'And how? Don't we already have Veritaserum potion for that?'

'Yes.' Replied Lily. 'But there's also a spell. It's not as good as the potion, it only lasts a couple of minutes and isn't nearly as strong. It's actually quite easy to resist.'

'Good Miss Evans. Ten points for Gryffindor. Alright, now both raise your wands and repeat 'Rusturas.' James and Lily did as told. 'Now swish clockwise and flick twice as you pronounce the word.' They followed his instructions and two pink flashes irrupted from there wands. Flitwick smiled at their success. 'Now ask each other a question.'

James looked at lily. 'Err, hello.'

'That's not a question James. Are you okay?'

'Yes I am. I just hope you are, are you?' He asked stepping forward an inch.

'No.' She replied looking down. 'I'm just about to walk out of here and start crying. I keep imagining there bodies, lying there, still, dead.' A tear started down her face. James looked between her and Professor Flitwick.

'Professor I think-'

'Yes, please escort her outside for a couple of minutes till it wares off.' James didn't hesitant and took lily out of the classroom to a deserted corridor.

Lily leaned against the stone wall and gaped. 'I… I almost told them all. I couldn't stop myself.' James looked at her, her eyes were wide open.

'It's okay Lily. No one knows.' He stood beside her. Her eyes went back to normal and she started to pace. After a minute she stopped and held herself. James watched her slightly fascinated with her restlessness.

'I'm cold.' She blurted. He took off his cloak and held it out for her. 'No thank you. It'll have your scent on it.'

He looked at her Confused. 'What's wrong with my scent?' He asked slightly defensive. How could she hate me still?

Lily noticed the tone in his voice. 'There's nothing wrong with it. That is the problem.' She started pacing again.

'What do you mean?' He asked this time with great interest. She paused and turned towards him. He waited for her to speak.

'James... ' She said and then paused again.

'Come on Lily, what's the problem' He asked a little frustrated for the answer.

She looked at him and spoke quietly. 'The problem is breathing in your scent. I am all over the place right now and the last thing I need is to fall for your scent.' She drawled the last few words. 'To smell your deep cologne, it's… I don't want to ache for your cologne. I don't want to ache for your scent Potter.'

'Oh…' He said a little smile hidden behind his closed lips. 'These truth spells really work eh. Can I ask you a question?'

'What?' She said leaning against the wall once again, trying to think straight.

'Do you still hate me?'

She looked at him surprised. 'I never hated you. You were just annoying, selfish, and arrogant, whatever up yourself words you name it. You drove me crazy. But I don't think you're like that any more. You've changed.' She searched his face. 'You're different…' She took a breath, her mind starting to clear. 'James, why did you ask me out earlier this year?'

He looked her in the eye and tried to control the words performing in his mouth. I love you, always, I love you. 'You don't want to know.' He managed hiding the other truth.

'Yes I would.' She looked deep in his eyes, trying to find an answer in them. He hesitated. 'I'. He waited a moment hoping the spell was wearing off quick. 'It's because I.' He swallowed as the words forced through his lips 'loved you'. He took a deep breath and leaned off the wall. 'Your smile, your laugh, they were rare, but when I saw them my world lit up.' He paused worried about how she was reacting behind him. I shouldn't say this. He started pacing but the words found there way out. 'Hearing your voice, watching you walk across the room so gracefully. Your eyes would always keep me into a mystery. I wanted to stop you studying every night so I could hold you in my arms and feel your warmth. I wanted to look into your eyes for once and know you were looking into my eyes, to know who I really am. But you always seemed to hate me. I tried to prank you so I could be with you. But everything I did you hated me more.' James didn't dare turn to face lily now. He took another breath and continued. 'That day I first saw you I just had to walk up to you to introduce myself. You took me by surprise. I never knew any one could grasp at me the way you did that day. But when I went to you, I tripped and you started to laugh at me. I lost my dignity. I just had to prove I wasn't some idiot tripping before you.' He sighed. He couldn't hear any movement behind him. 'I tried once again to get you to like me but you told me you'd rather date the giant squid.' He gave a small laugh at the memory, 'and the time after that you told me you never wanted to see me again. So I let you be and you were happy.' Then and there I knew I had left anything I wanted go. 'I wanted you happy. So I let you be.' He stopped. The truth spell had worn off already. Unsure whether or not he wanted to turn to see lily he tucked his hands in his cloak pockets.

'I'm sorry… 'Her weak voice came.

He turned around at her vulnerability. She was leaning half way down the wall, her eyes on him. 'Don't be', he whispered looking a way from her.

She watched him curiously. She could see who he really was now. It might be seven years later, but she had come across the James he wanted her to see. 'You loved me?' She asked softly.

He nodded still looking away. 'Yes' I still do. But do I? I care for you with out a doubt. But I am with Sarah now. My loyalty is to her. He turned and leaned down beside her. They shared a moment gazing into each others eyes before James put his hand out. 'Would you like to go back into the class now?'

She took awhile to answer. Worried about how her peers would react to her. 'I guess I'd better. But what am I going to say to everyone?'

James thought for a moment. 'We'll tell them you were talking about a horror movie, one of those things you muggles have, a telebivin Isn't it? Say we were talking about it last night and you couldn't get it out of your head?'

She smiled taking his hand. 'Perfect'. They walked back into the classroom and resumed to their groups. The teacher had carried on with the lesson about the truth spell. Lily could hear Sarah asking James what was wrong. She heard him reply 'nothing babe'. The word 'babe' emphasized two times stronger in her head. That hurt. Lily's mind raced. He liked Sarah and has for three months straight. Now, finally Lily had found a nice and caring James who lived under the bullying toe rag James and now she had found this, he had moved on. She looked out the nearest window, his words replaying in her mind and the pain of hearing him calling another with affection, his girlfriend. Lily filled herself with anger and shame. It can't be true. She mentally shook herself. It can't be…

_

Lily stayed up in her dormitory all night, and the night after that. She'd strictly be doing homework and study so she couldn't think of anything else. Because when she did she would break down and cry. She couldn't handle the shrill cries of the laughter and the image of her lifeless parents.

'Lily' she looked up from her corner of the common room. James made his way to her. She closed her Herbology homework and smiled at him. 'Would you like to go for a walk?'

'I can't I've got to-'

'-You've been studying none stop. Remember what I said about blocking things out.' He took her Herbology book from her. 'Come on. You deserve it.' He brought her out the portrait hole and led them down the tower to the oak doors.

'Where are we going?' She asked curiously.

'Getting some air.' He gave her a grin and ran off into the night. 'Come on Lily.'

'James, I' He ran back towards her picking her up in one swoop, spinning her around. She gave a little squeal. He landed her and gave her a small pinch. 'Ouch!'

'What are you going to do about it?' He ran into the darkness. Lily ran after him laughing. He chucked a pile of grass at her from her left. She stopped brushing if off her and ran in his direction.

'You're going down!' She found his outline in the moons glow and headed straight for it. He stood there grinning.

'Now what are you going to do Evans?' She put her foot out and attempted to trip him. He couldn't help but laugh. 'Shocking'. He lifted her and spun her around once more. She let out a gasp of surprise. After the second spin she regained her coordination and put all her weight onto his upper half, bending his back to her advantage. A moment later he stepped back to gain some stability but collapsed backwards. She fell flat on top of him laughing with accomplishment. 'That was just luck. You took me by surprise.'

'Yeah right.'

He looked up at her. She had fallen directly above him. Don't do anything stupid. He brushed her hair behind her ear with his hand and her heart started to increase. 'Sorry'. She said.

'Why's that? I would have done the same to you if I were provoked.' She rolled off and laid beside him, looking up at the stars.

'It's beautiful out here.' she sighed.

'hmm' he murmured, watching her close her eyes. 'It is.'

'Thank you for bringing me out here. It was a good idea.' She opened her eyes again and turned on her side to look at him. 'You're a great guy. Sarah's very lucky.'

He held off saying anything smart or sarcastic. 'Well you know.' He posed leaning on his arm. 'Nah' He laughed. 'Nothing special. I mean you rejected me.'

'But you were an idiot then.'

'What about now?' He asked. A little too eager then he should have been.

'I don't know,' she giggled 'you're still an idiot.' He laughed with her and checked his watch for the time.

'We better be off, we have some head patrol to do.' They both stood up and started there way back up to the oak doors of the castle.

'Thanks James, for helping me and keeping me happy. I appreciate it.'