Chapter 5 - Bullit Tells his story
It's good that all my shit still fits in one bag. I don't want to end up with too much stuff. This isn't where I'm gonna live. I gotta remember that. I need to keep traveling light. I don't want to get too much stuff and get too comfortable here. I've gotta think of this like the vacation I told Vince I was on. This isn't home. This is a break. This is a temporary thing. Miami's nice but L.A.'s home. I'm going back. I'm going back when I know who I am. I was just musing about stuff as I followed Brian home.
Strange thing, that. It was Brian who followed Mia home and into our lives in the first place and now I'm following him places. That's irony. I don't know what he can tell me that will be a good enough reason for what he did to Mia either, cause not only am I the tough girl, I'm the loyal girl too. And Mia's been my girl since I was 10. Now what can this punk tell me that will be a good enough reason for breaking my girl's heart? I hope he comes up with some thing cause I really, really want to be able to stay with him. Brian was around for awhile and he became comfortable. I was comfortable around him. I could talk to him and let him see the Letty the team saw, not the Letty front the rest of the world saw. Plus he was a really good listener.
Another thing about Brian. You can tell a lot about a person based on the way they care for their car and how they treat it. Brian loved every minute of building the supra. It wasn't just about the finished car to him; the process of getting it there was just as important to him. It means that to Brian a strong foundation is just as important as the end product and that building a strong product on that strong foundation is more important then the speed you arrive at the finished product at. He also really cared about the car itself. He had pride it in. It wasn't just a car to him, it was his car and it was special. You could see it in his eyes and tell it in how he held the tools and parts. He joked around with Dom while they built it but Brian also went out of his way to learn everything he could too. So he has a good sense of humour, but he knows what's serious.
Brian hadn't known that much about building a race car when he started to work with Dom but he really wanted to know. I could tell just based on how much time he was around the shop and the fact that he went out of his way to do every job he was given by Dom to the best of his ability. Hell, I'm a great mechanic and even I want to cut corners sometimes. Brian never wanted to cut corners. The longer it took the better as far as he was concerned if it meant the job would be done right. Brian was just the kind of guy. I suppose it helped him in his line of work. He'd have had to be methodical and able to plan to be a good detective but it stood him in good stead as a mechanic too.
He never lost his temper. Not that I saw. He hardly swore. The worst I ever heard him say was shit. He took all that shit from Vince with mostly good humour and tried to look the other way. He even tried to make up with Vince at one point but of course Vince wasn't having it. Not after Brian had taken the one thing Vince wanted that he could never have. Mia's love. So my mind was back to Mia. What could Brian tell me that would make what he did ok? I was having a real hard time figuring it out.
Brian might have been in our lives to do something pretty shitty but he didn't do it in the end. But then he did what he did to Mia. If he didn't want to be with her then he should have at least told her that. That was what hurt her the most. The fact that he'd told her that everything he'd ever said he'd felt about her was real. If it was then why'd he leave her? If he was really in love with her then why didn't he come back? He must have known that Mia and Dom would forgive him in the end if he was really in love with Mia.
He should have at least inquired about Jesse, to see if the kid made it. Should have asked about Vince and how he was doing. Should have told Mia a good reason why he didn't want to be with her anymore.
Hell, he knew why he was in our lives. He shouldn't have gotten so involved with Mia. But he also made sure we all got off on some technicality. I think the way we got off might have had something to do with why Brian just disappeared. That's why I'm gonna give him this chance to explain himself.
We pulled up to a garage on the water. I mean, right on the water. What a place for a garage. It's fantastic. I can't wait to see it in the bright Miami sunshine. The place was looking pretty deserted when we pulled up but it was 2am after all. I followed Brian into what appeared to be a 10 car garage, parked my car and started to get him ready for the night.
There are people who are asking 'what does she have to do to get the car ready for the night?' Well, lots when it's just been run as hard as my car has. I have to shut down and bleed off the NOS system. I have to make sure the turbo timer is set to let the engine run and cool down for the right length of time based on how hot the engine is. If I don't it will cause something called coking in the turbo and that'll be the end of it. I reset the computer systems. I always turn the stereo down and turn off my lights last. Then I get out and walk around the car to make sure the paint is still clean and there's nothing out of the ordinary. If that all checks out then the car is ready to be parked for the night. I know it seems like a crazy amount of stuff to do just to park the car but I already explained why my car is so important.
Brian watched with a bemused look on his face the whole time I was going through this process. After the process reached the 5 minute mark he got impatient and opened my door.
"Reina, this is a car not your child. It doesn't need this much attention from you. It doesn't know you're here. You can just leave it, you don't have to say good night. It'll be fine in here and if anything happens to it then Jimmy'll fix it." He laughed at me while he said it. I knew why he was impatient to be off but I wasn't putting my car last over it. Plus at the rate things were going it would be the only child Dom was likely to give me.
"I don't want anything to happen to him." I answered back and finished with my checks from inside the car and killed the lights. I didn't want to share my other thoughts about Dom and children with Brian. Yet.
"You and calling this car a him. Car's are she's. Or it's for that matter. It's not a he." Brian was still laughing at me.
"Yeah, to you they all might be she's or it's but to me they have personalities just like people and based on their personalities some are male and some are female. Raidon is a male." We'd had this discussion before but Brian had found it so amusing then I figured he was making me tell it again now for his further amusement. "Besides that fact I couldn't have the kind of relationship I have with my car with a girl. I don't go that way."
"Letty do I even wanna know?" Brian asked me with a grimace.
"Well, it's not dirty. Just passionate." I laughed back at Brian. He grinned at that. "So when'd you get the Evo?" I asked him. I was just curious. I mean I know he gave Dom the supra and we still have it in LA so I was wondering what made him decide to go with something as gutless as an Evo VII after he'd driven something as hard core as a 2JZ Supra.
"Well, that's gonna play a big role in our conversation. I think it's gonna be a long ass night Let. You wanna get started on it now or do you wanna go to bed and talk about it in the morning?"
I took a minute to really think about that. Could I be ok staying with Brian without knowing if he had the good reason I was hoping he had for what he'd done to Mia? I hadn't gotten much sleep over the last few days and one more short night wasn't going to kill me.
"I'd rather talk tonight Brian. Unless you have to get up early in the morning or something. Then we can talk tomorrow if you want."
"I'm lookin pretty open for the next few days so I think I'd rather get it out of the way too. You can leave your car here and we'll go to my place."
"You don't live here?" I didn't want to stay if Brian didn't live here. I wasn't staying with strangers. I mean, I guess Brian was a stranger. Brian O'Connor was for sure. It remained to be seen how much of Brian O'Connor was Brian Spilner. I'd been under the impression that Brian and his friends lived in one house just like we did back in LA.
"Well, there's a lot of us and the house was getting crowded so Tej let me live on an old houseboat he had out back empty. It's great really. I have the team close but I have my own space too. My friend Rome lives here and if Rome and I had to share a house we'd kill each other. He lives in the house with Tej, Suki and Jimmy and I live in the houseboat alone." Brian held a hand out to me. It was like he understood just how overwhelmed, sad, upset, confused, angry, and most of all unsure I was about the whole situation and my whole life in general. I thought for a second and took his hand. It felt really good to have someone holding my hand, to have someone looking out for me. For the longest time it had been me holding the hands of those around me and it felt good to be the one who was comforted by someone for a change. He picked up my bag with his other hand and carried the lot down to his boat. As we walked he let go of my hand and rapped his arm around my shoulders. I was so tired all of a sudden that I leaned my head on his shoulder. God Brian, have a really good reason, was all that was running through my head.
The boat was pretty cool. It was dark, but as I walked on it looked neat. It had a little deck on the back with some lawn chairs then a kitchen, which Brian would later tell me is a galley on a boat. It had a bathroom with running water and a shower, a dining area and two bedrooms. One bedroom, the big one had a TV and entertainment system and the ever present PS2. It smelled good. I realize it smelled like clean male and it was just a scent I was use to having in my life and had been recently deprived of but it still smelled really good. It didn't smell like Dom though and that made me sad. Brian gave me a look like he knew what was on my mind.
Brian set my stuff in the smaller room. "We'll let you decide where you want to stay permanently tomorrow. When you go to bed tonight you can just stay down here." I nodded. The less I had to move the better. I had a funny feeling this conversation was going to take a lot of out me. "I believe I asked you what you were doing in Miami all alone first." Brian said to me.
"You may have but you better believe you're gonna tell me why you abandoned Mia before we go anywhere else." Brian sighed and looked at his hands, which he had folded in his lap. His whole posture just screamed out total dejection. I was getting more optimistic that he had a really good reason.
"I knew it was going to come to that." Brian tried to give me that infamous bad boy grin but it didn't happen. He was really upset. I think he might have been on the verge of a crying fit. I really felt for him. After all, I knew where he was coming from first hand. But he was telling me the story. I wasn't going to go easy on him. It hadn't been easy on Mia when he'd disappeared off the face of the earth. "Well it all started when I gave Dom the keys to the supra." Brian began.
"I'd been telling my bosses all along that I didn't think it was Dom. That it didn't really seem like it was his style. They never believed me. They thought it was Dom all along. I never did. They told me that I was getting too involved with Mia and it was blurring my objectivity. I knew they were right based on how much it angered me when they accused me of it. If I didn't have real feelings for her when they'd said that to me I would have just told them they were crazy and went on with life." I just stared at him with total attention while he told the story. I could tell it was very hard for him to relive it all.
"I tried every avenue I could before I'd believe it was Dom. I thought Tran was the obvious choice and I went that route first. Then Hector came in and bought all the stuff he needed to build spoon engines for Honda Civics so I went after him. My boss, Tanner, tried to convince me it was Dom, that Tran and Hector were just 'fumes'. By that time I'd had to start looking at the fact that it might be Dom. It wasn't Tran and it wasn't Hector. I'd picked Dom's team, your team, to get involved with not because I thought it was you guys doing it but because I knew that Dom knew who was."
"It was the perfect plan because it wasn't his style. It was Vince's style but it wasn't Dom's." I told him. I guess I wanted him to understand in some way why'd we'd done what we'd done. After all, Brian got us off. No matter what else he'd done he made sure Dom didn't go back to prison, that Vince didn't either.
"I really didn't think so. And I know this isn't going to go over well with you but I thought Vince would do it but I didn't think he was really clever enough to pull it off." I smiled, and it made Brian look at me funny.
"He's plenty smart. He just doesn't like to let on. Besides that the way he wants to fight all the time tends to make people think he's just a thug. But he's not. And I doubt he could have masterminded it himself just because he's not a leader. That's why we have Dom." I clarified for Brian. He continued with his story.
"But anyway, I started to get to know Dom, I fell for Mia, and you guys all became my friends. I'd like to think I was a part of the team. I know it felt like I was to me. And as I got to know everyone not only did you all not seem like the kind of people who'd do that sort of thing, I really didn't want to believe you could. So I looked for any way I could find to prove it was someone else, to prove my supervisors wrong. Then I found out in no uncertain terms that it was you guys that night at race wars. I was so disappointed and so worried. I had to blow my cover and tell Mia who I was so she'd give me Dom's cell number. My plan was to catch you guys before you pulled the job. If the heist didn't happen then the problem went away because I didn't have any concrete proof at the time of the last heist."
"So you wanted to catch us to make us stop before we caught the truck?" That was hard to believe. That meant Brian had taken our side as of race wars. That meant Brian did it for the whole team, not just because of Mia and Dom. Brian rose a notch in my opinion. I hoped his reason for ditching Mia didn't have him crash back down into the dirt.
"Yeah. That would have made life easier for everyone. But since I didn't manage I had to do something. I was still trying to come up with a plan when I saw Dom's car dead on the side of the road then came up to Vince stuck on the side of the truck. I knew that Mia would never get over it if anything happened to Vince. No matter how annoying she finds him by times I knew she loved him like she loved Dom. I had to do what I could to keep him alive."
"He appreciates you taking that jump onto the truck and saving him Brian. I mean, he don't like you. But he's thankful for his life, especially since he's living it outside of prison." Brian gave me a small smile, like knowing Vince didn't hate him as much as he had made it somewhat worth while.
"Then once he was off the truck I knew he had to go to the hospital and fast. But not only do they ask questions as hospitals they also wonder how people end up in the middle of no where with shotgun wounds. But it was let him die or take him to the hospital and blow my cover to Dom. The worst part about that was poor Mia. I could tell that Dom thought she knew about me before that day. Then when Mia took off on me and went with Dom I figured it was all over anyway. I mean, she looked back at me like she might be able to forgive me but then back at the house she wouldn't even look at me or talk to me. She said everything to Dom."
"She was mad. I mean, can you blame her?"
"No, I can't."
"Then why didn't you come back for her, after she calmed down, after Dom calmed down?"
"I'll get there." He told me. I sighed. I wanted to know everything and I didn't want to wait. Patience was never one of my strong points. "After I hunted down Tran for what he did to Jesse and let Dom go I knew it was all over. There was nothing left I could do at that point. I thought it was hopeless. I figured you were all going to jail. It was the last thing I wanted but I didn't see any way around it. Then I realized I was the only one who'd seen you guys pull the job. I was the only one who could prove it was you guys. If I'd stayed around then they could have forced me to testify and I wouldn't have lied under oath. Well, I might have but at the time I decided what to do I figured I wouldn't and you guys would end up in jail. Not to mention what they were likely to do to me for giving Dom my car keys."
"He was so angry at you Brian, but he really liked you too. He said that you giving him your keys took the kind of courage that you don't see very often. He said that he knew that we deserved to go to jail for what we did but at the same time you played us a little more then the law would look favourably on too. He said that he wished you'd have come back because you were the kind of man he wanted on his team, and the kind of man he wanted to see Mia with." Brian did cry then.
You know, it didn't make me think less of him. It made me think more of him. It was obvious he didn't want to cry, especially not in front of me, the girl who never does. But he didn't try to hide it. He didn't make excuses like something in his eye or anything. He just let the tears run down his cheeks with quiet dignity. My respect for Brian was steadily increasing. Brian did have a lot of dignity. Maybe he could help me get mine back.
That sounds really strange I'm sure. But you don't know just how quick you lose most of your dignity when so much of your private business is public knowledge. Think about it. Really think. Every person around races knew just how often Dom cheated on me. Knew who he'd done it with, when, how many times, and how it was. The girls he cheated on me with didn't keep in on the hush, they told everyone who'd listen that they'd slept with Dominic Toretto.
I didn't help myself out in the dignity department either, fighting with him and screaming at him in public. Making rude comments to any girl who looked at him. Wearing barely there clothes by times to try and keep his attention on me not those other girls. So often in my past with Dom my pride has been crushed and my dignity has been left in tatters around me.
But Brian sat in front of me, spirit bruised maybe, but dignity intact as he cried about what he'd lost. He'd lost just as much as I had when I left Dom. And if I let myself be honest, maybe more. He'd lost Mia, and it was now obvious he'd really loved her, he lost the team, he lost Dom and he lost his job. I looked at him again and his clear blue, tear filled gaze met mine. "Do you want to tell me the rest of the story?"
"Yeah." He answered and took another minute to compose himself then continued. "I realized if they couldn't find me then they couldn't make me testify. I took Dom's RX-7 and ran. I left my badge at my house and packed up what I figured I needed and a few things I couldn't leave behind and took off. I hitched to racewars, took the RX-7 and took off. I was almost sure that you guys would get off without my testimony and I figured I'd find a way to get the RX back to Dom somehow when I got where I was going."
"He reported it stolen and then it turned up in some motel." I giggled. The saga of the RX-7 was finally solved. Brian gave me a slightly toned down version of his smile.
"I got so far in my travels before I came out of my motel night to find the RX surrounded by cops. So that's how they knew to be looking for it. Dom reported it stolen." Brian nodded like a big mystery had finally been solved in his head. "I took the RX because I'd given Dom my car." It was like he figured I was angry at him for taking the car.
"Brian. I don't care that you 'borrowed' the RX-7 for awhile. Hell, you kept us out of jail man. As far as I'm concerned you coulda kept the car." I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way.
"When I found the car surrounded by cops I hitched a ride with someone else to a used car lot. I had a lot of money on me that I got from.." He trailed off for some reason.
"How'd you get the money Bri?" I prompted softly.
"I raced Dom's RX-7 half way across the country. I raced in every city I stopped off in and I always won."
"You raced Dom's Rex?" At his nod I roared in laughter. "Chumpy, he'd shit himself if he knew that. No one races that car but Dom. I can't believe it. One of the reasons why he got me my car was so that he wouldn't have to let me drive his to learn to drive a manual transmission." He could tell from my uncontrollable laughter that I wasn't mad about it. If Dom found out however, Brian would have a reason to be scared.
"So I took the money I'd won in the RX-7 and I bought another car at the car dealership that my ride left me at. I spent some time there fixing it up and painting it. Then I headed off again. I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to go. I hit the point of New York or Miami and picked Miami. I arrived, I raced, I won, Tej took me in. I became sort of like the Dom of Miami. Well, the best racer at least. Tej runs the scene as you likely figured out tonight."
"I picked up on that. I still can't believe you can race Chumpy."
"Hey, I learned from the best." Brian was happy again. Or he was doing a good job of pretending for my sake. I nodded. Yes he had. So had I. Dom was the best. It seemed even 'Bullit' admitted it. I shook my head. Bullit. I couldn't believe MY Chumpy earned the nickname Bullit.
"So here I was in Miami. I wasn't happy but I was living. Racing was fun. Tej had no problem hooking me up for races and he'd even tell me when the people had deep pockets so I could up the stakes. I was doing really good for myself. It hurt that I couldn't call Mia or visit any of you. Couldn't call to find out if Jesse was ok or Vince for that matter but I was existing here. I was almost happy if I didn't let myself think of the past."
"Why couldn't you call us?" I still didn't get that part.
"Because the feds would have been hoping for that. They might have even had a tap on your line waiting for me to call. They knew how deep I was in with you guys. They might have figured on me calling or visiting you all at some point. So I couldn't or everything would be for nothing. I knew if they caught me then I'd have to go back to LA and not only face my music, I'd have to testify against you guys."
"Makes sense." I nodded my head.
"I took on another name. Most people called me Bullit anyway. Things were going ok. Then at one street race a woman that I didn't recognize that didn't belong showed up. She kept watching me. It was strange. I won't lie to you Reina, I thought she was pretty. It'd been 6 months since I'd left LA and I had no hope in sight of ever going back. I figured that my life with the team was lost to me and that Mia had likely already moved on anyway. I tried to flirt with the woman but she wasn't having it. Then she told me to get out of races and then seconds later the cops showed up." My face must have gotten nasty when he mentioned another girl but he begged me with his eyes to let him continue so I did. I almost choked on the words but I kept them inside. Mia hadn't moved on. She still hadn't. I don't think she can. She needs closure. But there's lots of time to talk about that later. Brian continued.
"I'd outrun the cops lots of times before. I knew how important it was for me to avoid cops any way I could. But these cops weren't your everyday Miami PD. They had Electromagnetic disruptor guns and they got my car with one and set it off. It fried everything and I crashed out. They got me. I tried to pretend I wasn't who they thought I was for as long as I could. Then they sent in the FBI agent who'd been in charge of your case. He knew me, there was no way I was convincing him he didn't. They told me if I did a job for them then they'd make my record go away and therefore that would clear you guys totally too. I took the job. I had to pick another driver so I found my old pal Rome from Barstow which is where I grew up and we did the job."
"I knew you weren't from Arizona. You sound too much like a valley boy." I grinned and Brian blushed. "So then why didn't you look us up? You were cleared, we were cleared."
"I'm not proud of it Let but I was scared. Scared out of my mind. Scared Dom hated me. Scared Mia hated me. Scared Mia had a new man. It had been 8 months since I'd seen any of you. I didn't know if you'd want to see me so I stayed here. Tried to get on with my life. I tried to date the girl cop from races, Monica, but it lasted about 2 dates. She wasn't Mia. But life was good. I had races and I didn't have to be on cop watch all the time."
"I don't understand how it is you win races in that Evo. It's just not that hardcore." I wanted to let poor Brian talk about something a bit lighter for awhile. Plus I had to know. It was killing me inside. It had to be one hell of an Evo. I don't even know if Jesse could tune an Evo up to be that fast.
"I don't race the Evo. You wanna see what I really race?" Brian had a sly grin on his face.
"Hell yeah." I stood up. It was a car, I could move over a car. He led me out of the boat and we started back toward the garage.
"So did Jesse." Brian trailed off. It was like he was hoping he wasn't bringing up a really bad memory for me.
"Jesse's fine. It took a while for him to get better. He was in a coma for a month and then it took him another month to get out of the hospital. He's designing me a s15 Silvia. He wants me to upgrade. I'm letting him design it but I'll never upgrade my car."
"Why?"
"It's a very long story. I'll tell you some other time." Brian nodded and moved on to other topics.
"How's Vince."
"Good. He's got some nasty scars but he's ok with it cause 'chicks dig it'." We shared a laugh. We entered the garage and walked up to a car covered by a custom Nissan car cover. "You went Nissan. Good boy." I told him and waited for him to move the cover. He grabbed the corner and flicked the cover off. Under it was the most beautiful Skyline I'd ever seen.
"What do you think?" He asked me.
"Wow. It's beautiful. Leon would shit." I walked around the car. I got to the drivers door and raised an eyebrow. "Honey?"
"That's her name." Brian said with a gesture at his car. I laughed. Brian looked very embarrassed.
"You owe me so you have to let me drive it sometime."
"Anytime Reina. I'd trust you with my car anytime." He was sincere, I could tell. "But now we go to bed. You can tell me why you're here when we wake up in the morning. Or afternoon at this rate." It was 4am.
"Sounds like a plan." I told him as I stretched. Anything that made reliving leaving Dom wait awhile sounded good. We went back to his boat and he let me use the washroom first. Then I went to bed. It wasn't long till I fell asleep with the gentle rocking of the boat and the first comfortable bed I'd had to sleep in in days.
Unfortunately it also wasn't long after that that another of my newest friends woke me up. My recurring nightmare. What fun. I've never been prone to nightmares. I'm one of those annoying people who can watch horror movies for hours at a time and not get a nightmare. But it seemed that up rooting my life had changed that on me. There'd only been one night since I left LA that I slept the night through. I'd had such high hopes for sleeping the night through once I'd found out I'd get to stay with Brian.
But it didn't happen. Only this time I didn't wake up screaming on my own in a cold sweat with tears pouring down my face. I woke up to someone gently shaking me and telling me I was ok. It was some of the sweetest stuff anyone ever said to me. I must have woken Brian and he was crouched by my bed shaking me and telling me it was ok in the voice I bet he used to calm down accident victims with worry in his crystalline blue eyes.
"It's ok Letty. I'm here. You're not alone." He told me when he saw my eyes open. I couldn't help it. I pretty much threw myself at him sobbing. I hate myself for crying so much. I was supposed to be over the tears.
"Brian." His name was all I could get out.
"Shush Letty. It's ok. Really." He tried to calm me down. I wasn't having it. But it was awfully nice to have someone to be with me. He finally gave up and slid into my bed still holding me. I guess he figured I'd have to calm down sometime if he stayed with me. I guess it was about 10 minutes later when I calmed down and realized I was being held against Brian's side with his arms around me and my head on his shoulder. It was comfortable. I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. "You ok now?" Brian asked me. I nodded. I didn't trust myself to talk.
"You want me to stay with you for another while or leave now?" Brian asked me. What did I want? I thought before I answered.
"Stay?" I didn't want him to feel pressured.
"Of course girl. Go to sleep." Brian said as he smoothed my hair and got comfortable himself. I sighed and shifted a bit till I was comfortable. So it seemed I'd found my Miami Vince. I hope I find a Miami girlfriend sometime too. I fell asleep in Brian's arms, safe for the first time in days.
I don't want to give the impression that anything was happening between me and Brian because it wasn't. Brian is Mia's. I'd never get involved with him. Plus, I'm still in love with Dom. Just because I left doesn't mean I've stopped loving Dom. Brian was just offering me comfort and I needed to take it.
I hated myself for thinking his arms felt good around me when I woke up too. They were too white, too small. Too not Dom. But it still felt good. In some ways it felt better then when Dom would hold me. Dom held me like he just didn't want to share, didn't want to let me go. Brian held me because he wanted me to feel safe. Wanted me to know he was there for me. I liked that. And it scared the holy hell out of me.
I don't want Brian, want Brian. I want his friendship, and his company. I can't let myself fall into the trap of confusing wanting his company with wanting him. That would be a huge mistake. Not only because I don't know where I see my life with Dom going but because I know Brian is still hung up on Mia too and if Brian and I were to get involved as more then just friends it would be the biggest mess that I ever created. But that didn't mean that it didn't feel right to wake up with him there. But then I went back to sleep and when I woke up I was all alone and it was 2 in the afternoon.
It's good that all my shit still fits in one bag. I don't want to end up with too much stuff. This isn't where I'm gonna live. I gotta remember that. I need to keep traveling light. I don't want to get too much stuff and get too comfortable here. I've gotta think of this like the vacation I told Vince I was on. This isn't home. This is a break. This is a temporary thing. Miami's nice but L.A.'s home. I'm going back. I'm going back when I know who I am. I was just musing about stuff as I followed Brian home.
Strange thing, that. It was Brian who followed Mia home and into our lives in the first place and now I'm following him places. That's irony. I don't know what he can tell me that will be a good enough reason for what he did to Mia either, cause not only am I the tough girl, I'm the loyal girl too. And Mia's been my girl since I was 10. Now what can this punk tell me that will be a good enough reason for breaking my girl's heart? I hope he comes up with some thing cause I really, really want to be able to stay with him. Brian was around for awhile and he became comfortable. I was comfortable around him. I could talk to him and let him see the Letty the team saw, not the Letty front the rest of the world saw. Plus he was a really good listener.
Another thing about Brian. You can tell a lot about a person based on the way they care for their car and how they treat it. Brian loved every minute of building the supra. It wasn't just about the finished car to him; the process of getting it there was just as important to him. It means that to Brian a strong foundation is just as important as the end product and that building a strong product on that strong foundation is more important then the speed you arrive at the finished product at. He also really cared about the car itself. He had pride it in. It wasn't just a car to him, it was his car and it was special. You could see it in his eyes and tell it in how he held the tools and parts. He joked around with Dom while they built it but Brian also went out of his way to learn everything he could too. So he has a good sense of humour, but he knows what's serious.
Brian hadn't known that much about building a race car when he started to work with Dom but he really wanted to know. I could tell just based on how much time he was around the shop and the fact that he went out of his way to do every job he was given by Dom to the best of his ability. Hell, I'm a great mechanic and even I want to cut corners sometimes. Brian never wanted to cut corners. The longer it took the better as far as he was concerned if it meant the job would be done right. Brian was just the kind of guy. I suppose it helped him in his line of work. He'd have had to be methodical and able to plan to be a good detective but it stood him in good stead as a mechanic too.
He never lost his temper. Not that I saw. He hardly swore. The worst I ever heard him say was shit. He took all that shit from Vince with mostly good humour and tried to look the other way. He even tried to make up with Vince at one point but of course Vince wasn't having it. Not after Brian had taken the one thing Vince wanted that he could never have. Mia's love. So my mind was back to Mia. What could Brian tell me that would make what he did ok? I was having a real hard time figuring it out.
Brian might have been in our lives to do something pretty shitty but he didn't do it in the end. But then he did what he did to Mia. If he didn't want to be with her then he should have at least told her that. That was what hurt her the most. The fact that he'd told her that everything he'd ever said he'd felt about her was real. If it was then why'd he leave her? If he was really in love with her then why didn't he come back? He must have known that Mia and Dom would forgive him in the end if he was really in love with Mia.
He should have at least inquired about Jesse, to see if the kid made it. Should have asked about Vince and how he was doing. Should have told Mia a good reason why he didn't want to be with her anymore.
Hell, he knew why he was in our lives. He shouldn't have gotten so involved with Mia. But he also made sure we all got off on some technicality. I think the way we got off might have had something to do with why Brian just disappeared. That's why I'm gonna give him this chance to explain himself.
We pulled up to a garage on the water. I mean, right on the water. What a place for a garage. It's fantastic. I can't wait to see it in the bright Miami sunshine. The place was looking pretty deserted when we pulled up but it was 2am after all. I followed Brian into what appeared to be a 10 car garage, parked my car and started to get him ready for the night.
There are people who are asking 'what does she have to do to get the car ready for the night?' Well, lots when it's just been run as hard as my car has. I have to shut down and bleed off the NOS system. I have to make sure the turbo timer is set to let the engine run and cool down for the right length of time based on how hot the engine is. If I don't it will cause something called coking in the turbo and that'll be the end of it. I reset the computer systems. I always turn the stereo down and turn off my lights last. Then I get out and walk around the car to make sure the paint is still clean and there's nothing out of the ordinary. If that all checks out then the car is ready to be parked for the night. I know it seems like a crazy amount of stuff to do just to park the car but I already explained why my car is so important.
Brian watched with a bemused look on his face the whole time I was going through this process. After the process reached the 5 minute mark he got impatient and opened my door.
"Reina, this is a car not your child. It doesn't need this much attention from you. It doesn't know you're here. You can just leave it, you don't have to say good night. It'll be fine in here and if anything happens to it then Jimmy'll fix it." He laughed at me while he said it. I knew why he was impatient to be off but I wasn't putting my car last over it. Plus at the rate things were going it would be the only child Dom was likely to give me.
"I don't want anything to happen to him." I answered back and finished with my checks from inside the car and killed the lights. I didn't want to share my other thoughts about Dom and children with Brian. Yet.
"You and calling this car a him. Car's are she's. Or it's for that matter. It's not a he." Brian was still laughing at me.
"Yeah, to you they all might be she's or it's but to me they have personalities just like people and based on their personalities some are male and some are female. Raidon is a male." We'd had this discussion before but Brian had found it so amusing then I figured he was making me tell it again now for his further amusement. "Besides that fact I couldn't have the kind of relationship I have with my car with a girl. I don't go that way."
"Letty do I even wanna know?" Brian asked me with a grimace.
"Well, it's not dirty. Just passionate." I laughed back at Brian. He grinned at that. "So when'd you get the Evo?" I asked him. I was just curious. I mean I know he gave Dom the supra and we still have it in LA so I was wondering what made him decide to go with something as gutless as an Evo VII after he'd driven something as hard core as a 2JZ Supra.
"Well, that's gonna play a big role in our conversation. I think it's gonna be a long ass night Let. You wanna get started on it now or do you wanna go to bed and talk about it in the morning?"
I took a minute to really think about that. Could I be ok staying with Brian without knowing if he had the good reason I was hoping he had for what he'd done to Mia? I hadn't gotten much sleep over the last few days and one more short night wasn't going to kill me.
"I'd rather talk tonight Brian. Unless you have to get up early in the morning or something. Then we can talk tomorrow if you want."
"I'm lookin pretty open for the next few days so I think I'd rather get it out of the way too. You can leave your car here and we'll go to my place."
"You don't live here?" I didn't want to stay if Brian didn't live here. I wasn't staying with strangers. I mean, I guess Brian was a stranger. Brian O'Connor was for sure. It remained to be seen how much of Brian O'Connor was Brian Spilner. I'd been under the impression that Brian and his friends lived in one house just like we did back in LA.
"Well, there's a lot of us and the house was getting crowded so Tej let me live on an old houseboat he had out back empty. It's great really. I have the team close but I have my own space too. My friend Rome lives here and if Rome and I had to share a house we'd kill each other. He lives in the house with Tej, Suki and Jimmy and I live in the houseboat alone." Brian held a hand out to me. It was like he understood just how overwhelmed, sad, upset, confused, angry, and most of all unsure I was about the whole situation and my whole life in general. I thought for a second and took his hand. It felt really good to have someone holding my hand, to have someone looking out for me. For the longest time it had been me holding the hands of those around me and it felt good to be the one who was comforted by someone for a change. He picked up my bag with his other hand and carried the lot down to his boat. As we walked he let go of my hand and rapped his arm around my shoulders. I was so tired all of a sudden that I leaned my head on his shoulder. God Brian, have a really good reason, was all that was running through my head.
The boat was pretty cool. It was dark, but as I walked on it looked neat. It had a little deck on the back with some lawn chairs then a kitchen, which Brian would later tell me is a galley on a boat. It had a bathroom with running water and a shower, a dining area and two bedrooms. One bedroom, the big one had a TV and entertainment system and the ever present PS2. It smelled good. I realize it smelled like clean male and it was just a scent I was use to having in my life and had been recently deprived of but it still smelled really good. It didn't smell like Dom though and that made me sad. Brian gave me a look like he knew what was on my mind.
Brian set my stuff in the smaller room. "We'll let you decide where you want to stay permanently tomorrow. When you go to bed tonight you can just stay down here." I nodded. The less I had to move the better. I had a funny feeling this conversation was going to take a lot of out me. "I believe I asked you what you were doing in Miami all alone first." Brian said to me.
"You may have but you better believe you're gonna tell me why you abandoned Mia before we go anywhere else." Brian sighed and looked at his hands, which he had folded in his lap. His whole posture just screamed out total dejection. I was getting more optimistic that he had a really good reason.
"I knew it was going to come to that." Brian tried to give me that infamous bad boy grin but it didn't happen. He was really upset. I think he might have been on the verge of a crying fit. I really felt for him. After all, I knew where he was coming from first hand. But he was telling me the story. I wasn't going to go easy on him. It hadn't been easy on Mia when he'd disappeared off the face of the earth. "Well it all started when I gave Dom the keys to the supra." Brian began.
"I'd been telling my bosses all along that I didn't think it was Dom. That it didn't really seem like it was his style. They never believed me. They thought it was Dom all along. I never did. They told me that I was getting too involved with Mia and it was blurring my objectivity. I knew they were right based on how much it angered me when they accused me of it. If I didn't have real feelings for her when they'd said that to me I would have just told them they were crazy and went on with life." I just stared at him with total attention while he told the story. I could tell it was very hard for him to relive it all.
"I tried every avenue I could before I'd believe it was Dom. I thought Tran was the obvious choice and I went that route first. Then Hector came in and bought all the stuff he needed to build spoon engines for Honda Civics so I went after him. My boss, Tanner, tried to convince me it was Dom, that Tran and Hector were just 'fumes'. By that time I'd had to start looking at the fact that it might be Dom. It wasn't Tran and it wasn't Hector. I'd picked Dom's team, your team, to get involved with not because I thought it was you guys doing it but because I knew that Dom knew who was."
"It was the perfect plan because it wasn't his style. It was Vince's style but it wasn't Dom's." I told him. I guess I wanted him to understand in some way why'd we'd done what we'd done. After all, Brian got us off. No matter what else he'd done he made sure Dom didn't go back to prison, that Vince didn't either.
"I really didn't think so. And I know this isn't going to go over well with you but I thought Vince would do it but I didn't think he was really clever enough to pull it off." I smiled, and it made Brian look at me funny.
"He's plenty smart. He just doesn't like to let on. Besides that the way he wants to fight all the time tends to make people think he's just a thug. But he's not. And I doubt he could have masterminded it himself just because he's not a leader. That's why we have Dom." I clarified for Brian. He continued with his story.
"But anyway, I started to get to know Dom, I fell for Mia, and you guys all became my friends. I'd like to think I was a part of the team. I know it felt like I was to me. And as I got to know everyone not only did you all not seem like the kind of people who'd do that sort of thing, I really didn't want to believe you could. So I looked for any way I could find to prove it was someone else, to prove my supervisors wrong. Then I found out in no uncertain terms that it was you guys that night at race wars. I was so disappointed and so worried. I had to blow my cover and tell Mia who I was so she'd give me Dom's cell number. My plan was to catch you guys before you pulled the job. If the heist didn't happen then the problem went away because I didn't have any concrete proof at the time of the last heist."
"So you wanted to catch us to make us stop before we caught the truck?" That was hard to believe. That meant Brian had taken our side as of race wars. That meant Brian did it for the whole team, not just because of Mia and Dom. Brian rose a notch in my opinion. I hoped his reason for ditching Mia didn't have him crash back down into the dirt.
"Yeah. That would have made life easier for everyone. But since I didn't manage I had to do something. I was still trying to come up with a plan when I saw Dom's car dead on the side of the road then came up to Vince stuck on the side of the truck. I knew that Mia would never get over it if anything happened to Vince. No matter how annoying she finds him by times I knew she loved him like she loved Dom. I had to do what I could to keep him alive."
"He appreciates you taking that jump onto the truck and saving him Brian. I mean, he don't like you. But he's thankful for his life, especially since he's living it outside of prison." Brian gave me a small smile, like knowing Vince didn't hate him as much as he had made it somewhat worth while.
"Then once he was off the truck I knew he had to go to the hospital and fast. But not only do they ask questions as hospitals they also wonder how people end up in the middle of no where with shotgun wounds. But it was let him die or take him to the hospital and blow my cover to Dom. The worst part about that was poor Mia. I could tell that Dom thought she knew about me before that day. Then when Mia took off on me and went with Dom I figured it was all over anyway. I mean, she looked back at me like she might be able to forgive me but then back at the house she wouldn't even look at me or talk to me. She said everything to Dom."
"She was mad. I mean, can you blame her?"
"No, I can't."
"Then why didn't you come back for her, after she calmed down, after Dom calmed down?"
"I'll get there." He told me. I sighed. I wanted to know everything and I didn't want to wait. Patience was never one of my strong points. "After I hunted down Tran for what he did to Jesse and let Dom go I knew it was all over. There was nothing left I could do at that point. I thought it was hopeless. I figured you were all going to jail. It was the last thing I wanted but I didn't see any way around it. Then I realized I was the only one who'd seen you guys pull the job. I was the only one who could prove it was you guys. If I'd stayed around then they could have forced me to testify and I wouldn't have lied under oath. Well, I might have but at the time I decided what to do I figured I wouldn't and you guys would end up in jail. Not to mention what they were likely to do to me for giving Dom my car keys."
"He was so angry at you Brian, but he really liked you too. He said that you giving him your keys took the kind of courage that you don't see very often. He said that he knew that we deserved to go to jail for what we did but at the same time you played us a little more then the law would look favourably on too. He said that he wished you'd have come back because you were the kind of man he wanted on his team, and the kind of man he wanted to see Mia with." Brian did cry then.
You know, it didn't make me think less of him. It made me think more of him. It was obvious he didn't want to cry, especially not in front of me, the girl who never does. But he didn't try to hide it. He didn't make excuses like something in his eye or anything. He just let the tears run down his cheeks with quiet dignity. My respect for Brian was steadily increasing. Brian did have a lot of dignity. Maybe he could help me get mine back.
That sounds really strange I'm sure. But you don't know just how quick you lose most of your dignity when so much of your private business is public knowledge. Think about it. Really think. Every person around races knew just how often Dom cheated on me. Knew who he'd done it with, when, how many times, and how it was. The girls he cheated on me with didn't keep in on the hush, they told everyone who'd listen that they'd slept with Dominic Toretto.
I didn't help myself out in the dignity department either, fighting with him and screaming at him in public. Making rude comments to any girl who looked at him. Wearing barely there clothes by times to try and keep his attention on me not those other girls. So often in my past with Dom my pride has been crushed and my dignity has been left in tatters around me.
But Brian sat in front of me, spirit bruised maybe, but dignity intact as he cried about what he'd lost. He'd lost just as much as I had when I left Dom. And if I let myself be honest, maybe more. He'd lost Mia, and it was now obvious he'd really loved her, he lost the team, he lost Dom and he lost his job. I looked at him again and his clear blue, tear filled gaze met mine. "Do you want to tell me the rest of the story?"
"Yeah." He answered and took another minute to compose himself then continued. "I realized if they couldn't find me then they couldn't make me testify. I took Dom's RX-7 and ran. I left my badge at my house and packed up what I figured I needed and a few things I couldn't leave behind and took off. I hitched to racewars, took the RX-7 and took off. I was almost sure that you guys would get off without my testimony and I figured I'd find a way to get the RX back to Dom somehow when I got where I was going."
"He reported it stolen and then it turned up in some motel." I giggled. The saga of the RX-7 was finally solved. Brian gave me a slightly toned down version of his smile.
"I got so far in my travels before I came out of my motel night to find the RX surrounded by cops. So that's how they knew to be looking for it. Dom reported it stolen." Brian nodded like a big mystery had finally been solved in his head. "I took the RX because I'd given Dom my car." It was like he figured I was angry at him for taking the car.
"Brian. I don't care that you 'borrowed' the RX-7 for awhile. Hell, you kept us out of jail man. As far as I'm concerned you coulda kept the car." I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring way.
"When I found the car surrounded by cops I hitched a ride with someone else to a used car lot. I had a lot of money on me that I got from.." He trailed off for some reason.
"How'd you get the money Bri?" I prompted softly.
"I raced Dom's RX-7 half way across the country. I raced in every city I stopped off in and I always won."
"You raced Dom's Rex?" At his nod I roared in laughter. "Chumpy, he'd shit himself if he knew that. No one races that car but Dom. I can't believe it. One of the reasons why he got me my car was so that he wouldn't have to let me drive his to learn to drive a manual transmission." He could tell from my uncontrollable laughter that I wasn't mad about it. If Dom found out however, Brian would have a reason to be scared.
"So I took the money I'd won in the RX-7 and I bought another car at the car dealership that my ride left me at. I spent some time there fixing it up and painting it. Then I headed off again. I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to go. I hit the point of New York or Miami and picked Miami. I arrived, I raced, I won, Tej took me in. I became sort of like the Dom of Miami. Well, the best racer at least. Tej runs the scene as you likely figured out tonight."
"I picked up on that. I still can't believe you can race Chumpy."
"Hey, I learned from the best." Brian was happy again. Or he was doing a good job of pretending for my sake. I nodded. Yes he had. So had I. Dom was the best. It seemed even 'Bullit' admitted it. I shook my head. Bullit. I couldn't believe MY Chumpy earned the nickname Bullit.
"So here I was in Miami. I wasn't happy but I was living. Racing was fun. Tej had no problem hooking me up for races and he'd even tell me when the people had deep pockets so I could up the stakes. I was doing really good for myself. It hurt that I couldn't call Mia or visit any of you. Couldn't call to find out if Jesse was ok or Vince for that matter but I was existing here. I was almost happy if I didn't let myself think of the past."
"Why couldn't you call us?" I still didn't get that part.
"Because the feds would have been hoping for that. They might have even had a tap on your line waiting for me to call. They knew how deep I was in with you guys. They might have figured on me calling or visiting you all at some point. So I couldn't or everything would be for nothing. I knew if they caught me then I'd have to go back to LA and not only face my music, I'd have to testify against you guys."
"Makes sense." I nodded my head.
"I took on another name. Most people called me Bullit anyway. Things were going ok. Then at one street race a woman that I didn't recognize that didn't belong showed up. She kept watching me. It was strange. I won't lie to you Reina, I thought she was pretty. It'd been 6 months since I'd left LA and I had no hope in sight of ever going back. I figured that my life with the team was lost to me and that Mia had likely already moved on anyway. I tried to flirt with the woman but she wasn't having it. Then she told me to get out of races and then seconds later the cops showed up." My face must have gotten nasty when he mentioned another girl but he begged me with his eyes to let him continue so I did. I almost choked on the words but I kept them inside. Mia hadn't moved on. She still hadn't. I don't think she can. She needs closure. But there's lots of time to talk about that later. Brian continued.
"I'd outrun the cops lots of times before. I knew how important it was for me to avoid cops any way I could. But these cops weren't your everyday Miami PD. They had Electromagnetic disruptor guns and they got my car with one and set it off. It fried everything and I crashed out. They got me. I tried to pretend I wasn't who they thought I was for as long as I could. Then they sent in the FBI agent who'd been in charge of your case. He knew me, there was no way I was convincing him he didn't. They told me if I did a job for them then they'd make my record go away and therefore that would clear you guys totally too. I took the job. I had to pick another driver so I found my old pal Rome from Barstow which is where I grew up and we did the job."
"I knew you weren't from Arizona. You sound too much like a valley boy." I grinned and Brian blushed. "So then why didn't you look us up? You were cleared, we were cleared."
"I'm not proud of it Let but I was scared. Scared out of my mind. Scared Dom hated me. Scared Mia hated me. Scared Mia had a new man. It had been 8 months since I'd seen any of you. I didn't know if you'd want to see me so I stayed here. Tried to get on with my life. I tried to date the girl cop from races, Monica, but it lasted about 2 dates. She wasn't Mia. But life was good. I had races and I didn't have to be on cop watch all the time."
"I don't understand how it is you win races in that Evo. It's just not that hardcore." I wanted to let poor Brian talk about something a bit lighter for awhile. Plus I had to know. It was killing me inside. It had to be one hell of an Evo. I don't even know if Jesse could tune an Evo up to be that fast.
"I don't race the Evo. You wanna see what I really race?" Brian had a sly grin on his face.
"Hell yeah." I stood up. It was a car, I could move over a car. He led me out of the boat and we started back toward the garage.
"So did Jesse." Brian trailed off. It was like he was hoping he wasn't bringing up a really bad memory for me.
"Jesse's fine. It took a while for him to get better. He was in a coma for a month and then it took him another month to get out of the hospital. He's designing me a s15 Silvia. He wants me to upgrade. I'm letting him design it but I'll never upgrade my car."
"Why?"
"It's a very long story. I'll tell you some other time." Brian nodded and moved on to other topics.
"How's Vince."
"Good. He's got some nasty scars but he's ok with it cause 'chicks dig it'." We shared a laugh. We entered the garage and walked up to a car covered by a custom Nissan car cover. "You went Nissan. Good boy." I told him and waited for him to move the cover. He grabbed the corner and flicked the cover off. Under it was the most beautiful Skyline I'd ever seen.
"What do you think?" He asked me.
"Wow. It's beautiful. Leon would shit." I walked around the car. I got to the drivers door and raised an eyebrow. "Honey?"
"That's her name." Brian said with a gesture at his car. I laughed. Brian looked very embarrassed.
"You owe me so you have to let me drive it sometime."
"Anytime Reina. I'd trust you with my car anytime." He was sincere, I could tell. "But now we go to bed. You can tell me why you're here when we wake up in the morning. Or afternoon at this rate." It was 4am.
"Sounds like a plan." I told him as I stretched. Anything that made reliving leaving Dom wait awhile sounded good. We went back to his boat and he let me use the washroom first. Then I went to bed. It wasn't long till I fell asleep with the gentle rocking of the boat and the first comfortable bed I'd had to sleep in in days.
Unfortunately it also wasn't long after that that another of my newest friends woke me up. My recurring nightmare. What fun. I've never been prone to nightmares. I'm one of those annoying people who can watch horror movies for hours at a time and not get a nightmare. But it seemed that up rooting my life had changed that on me. There'd only been one night since I left LA that I slept the night through. I'd had such high hopes for sleeping the night through once I'd found out I'd get to stay with Brian.
But it didn't happen. Only this time I didn't wake up screaming on my own in a cold sweat with tears pouring down my face. I woke up to someone gently shaking me and telling me I was ok. It was some of the sweetest stuff anyone ever said to me. I must have woken Brian and he was crouched by my bed shaking me and telling me it was ok in the voice I bet he used to calm down accident victims with worry in his crystalline blue eyes.
"It's ok Letty. I'm here. You're not alone." He told me when he saw my eyes open. I couldn't help it. I pretty much threw myself at him sobbing. I hate myself for crying so much. I was supposed to be over the tears.
"Brian." His name was all I could get out.
"Shush Letty. It's ok. Really." He tried to calm me down. I wasn't having it. But it was awfully nice to have someone to be with me. He finally gave up and slid into my bed still holding me. I guess he figured I'd have to calm down sometime if he stayed with me. I guess it was about 10 minutes later when I calmed down and realized I was being held against Brian's side with his arms around me and my head on his shoulder. It was comfortable. I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. "You ok now?" Brian asked me. I nodded. I didn't trust myself to talk.
"You want me to stay with you for another while or leave now?" Brian asked me. What did I want? I thought before I answered.
"Stay?" I didn't want him to feel pressured.
"Of course girl. Go to sleep." Brian said as he smoothed my hair and got comfortable himself. I sighed and shifted a bit till I was comfortable. So it seemed I'd found my Miami Vince. I hope I find a Miami girlfriend sometime too. I fell asleep in Brian's arms, safe for the first time in days.
I don't want to give the impression that anything was happening between me and Brian because it wasn't. Brian is Mia's. I'd never get involved with him. Plus, I'm still in love with Dom. Just because I left doesn't mean I've stopped loving Dom. Brian was just offering me comfort and I needed to take it.
I hated myself for thinking his arms felt good around me when I woke up too. They were too white, too small. Too not Dom. But it still felt good. In some ways it felt better then when Dom would hold me. Dom held me like he just didn't want to share, didn't want to let me go. Brian held me because he wanted me to feel safe. Wanted me to know he was there for me. I liked that. And it scared the holy hell out of me.
I don't want Brian, want Brian. I want his friendship, and his company. I can't let myself fall into the trap of confusing wanting his company with wanting him. That would be a huge mistake. Not only because I don't know where I see my life with Dom going but because I know Brian is still hung up on Mia too and if Brian and I were to get involved as more then just friends it would be the biggest mess that I ever created. But that didn't mean that it didn't feel right to wake up with him there. But then I went back to sleep and when I woke up I was all alone and it was 2 in the afternoon.