November 15th 1998

He chose the downtown train and a car that only held a few people, opened up his arms for her to crawl inside and rest for the ride, let her cover herself in the blanket he brought along. From where they were seated, they could see everyone in the car, seemingly engrossed in the Times or the Post or the music blaring from their Walkman. They could care less about the couple in the corner, supposedly off to some romantic getaway, if only for an hour. They could care less about the uncertainty festering Karen from the inside out. Funny how the world can stop for one person while everyone else has the capacity to move.

Will was silent during the ride, giving her time to think. She thought about those cracks on the sidewalk, how she wanted so desperately for that superstition to work in her favor when she was younger. Maybe it would have worked if she didn't try so hard. She thought about Will, their relationship as it stands now. They weren't like they used to be. She didn't feel the same sensation she used to when he pulled her into his arms. He didn't seem to light up the same way when she said his name. They were cracking, slowly but surely. And they were probably stepping on the cracks all the time; they were never fans of caution.

She wondered if you can break a heart the same way you supposedly break your mother.

The train stopped abruptly, jerking Karen back into reality. When it started moving again, she could see the earth, far from what she expected to see on the subway. Manhattan didn't have any tracks like this. She sat up. "Are we in Brooklyn?!" she exclaimed a bit too loudly. The man across from them looked up from his New York Post and gave her a look. Karen shrunk in her seat, embarrassed to have made herself noticeable.

Will laughed quietly and kissed the crown of her head. "Calm down. Yes, we're in Brooklyn," he whispered in her ear.

She looked at him for a moment. "Honey, where the hell are we going?"

"We're almost there. Just give it a few minutes."

Another red flag. Karen always trusted him when they went somewhere unfamiliar to her. It's so easy for someone to get lost in the city, but with Will, she always knew she would be safe. She should have trusted him now. But for whatever reason, she was more nervous than she had ever been. She tried to think of everything she's heard about Brooklyn but came up with nothing. She didn't know if she could trust him with this one.

She wondered which crack she just stepped on to make that happen.

When they got out of the train, she heard seagulls. What the hell? This is not New York; New York is pigeons, sirens, car horns, people shouting. She found the sign that told her where they were: "CONEY ISLAND."

Will took her hand, quickened his pace. "Come on, we're going to miss it if we keep standing here."

They moved past boarded storefronts and the closed rides that made Karen wonder what was so damn special about the area in the first place. Once they got to the sand, she knew. The oranges and pinks of the sky bleeding together, meeting the ocean. A sunset on the beach; when they first started dating, Karen told him that the one thing she wanted to do was see the sun setting against the beach. She had never been on the sand before, or if she had, she was too young to remember it. She looked back at Will, who laid the blanket down on the sand for them to rest on.

"You remembered." She didn't pose a question; it was more like a meek statement. She sat down next to him as he smiled.

"I remember everything you've said to me since you told me you wouldn't talk to me because you didn't know me. You just seemed so lost that night at the restaurant, I wanted to take you away from all of that. That's why I stayed, waited for Stan to show up with you."

She looked out towards the sunset. "Sometimes I wish he did show up that night, just to see how he would react to you standing next to me. To see if staying with him is even worth it, to see if I should have just said 'Screw it' and left with you, never looking back."

"Do you wish you could do that now?" he asked. They never touched on that subject before, and Karen pictured him asking this question, it wasn't in a somber tone. It was in a voice filled with hope and opportunity, as if nothing else mattered but the two of them.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I just don't want to be the one to break up another family for the kids." Crack.

Will fell silent. She brought up the kids. She made her other life real to him. He didn't want it to be real. He lived in a world where he was the only one for her, and he would soon be able to sleep next to her, to wake up to her smile. He thought about Grace, what she said before he left, what she was bound to say when he got back, what she's been saying ever since Karen started working with her. Nothing that's worth it is ever easy, he would tell her. His only line of defense. And it worked most of the time. Lately, though, he was beginning to wonder if he really believed it.

"I'm sorry," Karen said. "I didn't mean to bring something like that on our evening. It's just that I don't know where to go these days. I don't really have Stan anymore. I tried to find sanctuary in the office, but Grace isn't exactly hospitable despite her attempts. I just don't want to lose you, too. You mean too much to me. I finally know why life is so valuable."

"Karen," Will said softly as he cradled her in his arms, feeling the warm sting of her tears against his chest. "When I told you that no one will come between us, I meant it. Grace is only nursing a few unhealed wounds. Stan doesn't know what he's losing."

"I don't love him anymore." It was the first time he ever heard her say that. "I don't want to be there anymore."

"Then come with me." It was a reflex, impulsive, but he was pretty sure he meant it. Even if he didn't, he couldn't go back now. "Remember when you came to stay with me? It could be like that all the time…well, Grace is there now, but it'll be like she isn't, I promise."

She laughed. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course." He couldn't tell if he was lying or not. "We'll figure it out in the next few days. I told you I wasn't going to let you hurt anymore."

She believed him; she truly believed him.

Later, she would realize it was stupid. Later, she would know that it was childish. Later, she would know that she was naïve. Later, she would understand all the destruction that she would have been responsible for. But now, she couldn't think of any other plan that led to true happiness. She always trusted Will in the past. The Brooklyn anxiety was only a fluke; it had to be. Now, she believed that he should be trusted.

She was unaware of the possibility that he was merely stepping on the cracks that had formed under their feet.

She was unaware that you could break a heart like that. She was unaware that he was capable of something like that.

But she would eventually find out.