December 17th 1999

Grace looked at the clock. In five minutes, she would be able to go back home. In five minutes, she would be able to linger in the silence of her own apartment. In five minutes, she would have to keep this bitter regret and guilt of her secret for one more night. The office was quiet, even for a normal day; granted, Karen and Grace weren't on speaking terms for some time, but eventually, it seemed as though Karen put everything behind her, and when she wasn't avoiding this place by having midday shopping sprees on Stan's dime, she was beginning to make small talk with Grace. But nothing has been said for hours now, forcing Grace to deal with it all.

Karen hadn't talked about him for months. No mention of his name, the things they used to do together. No mention of the way Grace interfered, the way she eventually ended it for the both of them. As far as Grace knew, Karen thought that Will employed Grace to break her heart for him. And as far as Grace knew, she was beginning to accept that.

It killed Grace.

In five minutes, Karen would walk out the door like usual, go back to Park Avenue, try to feign some interest in the life she has with Stan. Unless Grace said something to her. She had thought about this all day; she was trying to figure out if she was truly going to do this for Karen's sake, or if she was only looking to relieve herself. Either way, she knew that Karen needed to hear the truth. She knew that Karen would be upset. She knew that Karen would once again blame her for the complications in her relationship with Will, and she knew that Karen had every reason to place the blame on her.

She thought about that saying—"The truth will set you free"—and wondered who decided that this was accurate. This truth weighs her down.

She looked over at Karen preparing for her exit. Grace knew she couldn't go another day with this on her shoulders. Karen was about to get up from her desk when she stopped her. "Karen, wait." She walked over to the desk as Karen sat back down, and knelt to her level. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Grace, I should be getting home." There wasn't any conviction in her voice. There wasn't any desire. Just a feeble attempt to piece together some sort of semblance of a happy family life.

"Please, it will only take a minute."

Karen looked at her for a moment. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"No. Look, I know that things are really awkward now that you and Will aren't together anymore…"

"Please, honey, I don't want to talk about that."

"I need to finish. You need to know that it wasn't his doing."

"What do you mean, 'wasn't his doing?'"

"He never wanted me to come to you and break up with you for him. He never wanted to end it at all. I just took what he said to me that night the wrong way. And I've been feeling so guilty about all of it. I know you probably won't believe that; I don't blame you. I've been pretty awful to you at times. I never really meant any of it, but seeing you with him just triggered something, and for whatever reason, I wasn't able to get over it. Karen, I'm so sorry it took me until now to tell you. I thought maybe Will would set things straight but that obviously didn't happen. He said he called you, but I guess you didn't answer."

Silence.

"Karen, please say something."

"All this time, I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was trying to figure out why he would want to end things so suddenly, why he chose then to break it off, why he had to make you do it for him. And when I think I finally have it figured out, I have a bomb dropped on me. I must have done something so unspeakably horrible to you to make you do something like this."

"No, Karen, you didn't do anything. It was all me."

"I wasn't going to stop him from being your friend. I wasn't going to stop him from seeing you, talking to you, laughing with you. I just wanted a little piece of him. But you couldn't even give me that. If I had known that that's why Will was calling me every day for nearly four months, I would have picked up the damn phone. Things would be different." She stood up. "If you're looking for forgiveness, try Will. I'm not feeling that generous."

She grabbed a bag she kept under her desk and went into the bathroom to change. When she came out, Grace found a transformed Karen, complete with a white shirt and jeans with holes in the knees. Karen put the bag back under her desk, took her purse from the desk and headed out the door, despite Grace calling her name, begging her to stay.

And with that, she was gone.

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When Grace got home, she made her way across the hall and found Will sipping wine in the living room. She walked in slowly, knowing she was about to reopen the wound. She knew he wasn't completely over Karen, but as time went by, he spoke about her less and less, she found him at the phone less and less. She wasn't completely sure if Will had even seen her walk in, and she wasn't completely sure if she wanted to be noticed right now. She made it down the hall before she heard his voice.

"How was work today?"

Grace stopped for a moment, took a deep breath. She walked back out to the living room and sat down next to him, keeping her gaze straight ahead. "I told her. About what I did."

Will immediately knew what she was talking about. "You waited until now to tell her? I thought you did, but she didn't believe you. I thought that's why she wouldn't take any of my calls. It's been over a year, and you wait until now to tell her that this was all your fault. Are you looking for redemption now?"

"No. I just thought you should know," she said meekly. "I think she's downtown, if you want to try to find her. When she left the office, she was in jeans and a t-shirt, took her cheap coat with her. She looked like she did when she was with you. Maybe she's heading towards one of your spots."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Nothing. It's just that she's obviously not over you. And you never stopped thinking about her. I know Manhattan's a big place, but it doesn't hurt to try to find her. Maybe you can start over." She stood up. "I know you probably don't want to be around me right now. I'm going to go grab some takeout. I just don't want you to be miserable the rest of your life; I know you're miserable without her." She walked out the door, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Karen knows the truth now; Karen's perspective on him could have changed. But there was a chance that she still didn't want to see him or hear from him. Maybe he would try to find her tonight.

Maybe he would shatter again.