Chapter Nineteen: Decisions, Decisions

A/N: To those of you kind enough to review Thank you for your encouragement, and I am glad you are enjoying this story as much as I do writing it. With 4 stories going I have tried to stay on updating, but life interferes some times. I got another tattoo yesterday, and long story it was a long day lots of walking so I was too tired to write yesterday. I did not want to force it. To all of you who story alerted me I also what to thank you, Those little emails from the website telling me someone is waiting for my next update really make me happy! Bless you all, and on with the story!

Alice pulled Esme into the wedding planning with a fury. I hardly saw her anymore. Except for brief stops in. She would fly into my room and ask me a question then look into the future and see my decision before I even answered, then she would fly out of the room!

So of course, I missed her, Jane was in my room one evening complaining of the same thing. So when Alice came into the room I had her. She asked me about seating at the reception, if the Denali Coven should sit on Jane's area, or mine, since Jane knew Elizar for a very long time, but the Denali coven were very close friends of Edwards and Carlisle's.

I appeared thoughtful for a moment, then started cycling through many answers at once. At first I said I want them on My side, then....... No, Jane should get them, then...... Yes, sit them by the flowers,..... no sit them on the roof. Each idea got more and more ridiculous, until finally Alice did a deadpan look and said "Bella, if you are going to be difficult, I am just going to make ALL THE DECISIONS MYSELF WITHOUT ASKING YOU! But I had distracted her long enough for Jane to grab her!

I ran over before Alice could escape, and I grabbed her too, and wrestled her to the floor. We both tickled her mercilessly until she cried uncle. I said to her "Alice, the wedding is off. If I have to lose you to get married, I do not want to get married!" She looked at me in shock "Bella, you aren't going to lose me! I am just in full on party planning mode right now! I promise after you get back from the honeymoons I will spend plenty of quality girly time with both of you! After all the new spring collections will be out, and Milan is only......" I cut her off. Eeeek! Shopping! Well, shopping was now a little less daunting now that I had money of my own. Plus, I was not so out of balance with Edward. I was now in the same magical world he existed in so him spending money on me wasn't so hard to accept.

"OK It's a date! So long as you promise one thing.." She looked at me skeptically "What one thing?" I smiled at her "Oh, nothing so hard to accept, you just have to promise not to make me buy more clothes than I can wear before you declare them out of style again!" "Bella, Bella, Bella.... "She looked at me sadly shaking her head "You still don't get it...... THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT OF SHOPPING!!!! Besides, everything we buy worn or not is donated to charity when it is last month. And because of us womans shelters have some tremendous things to give to women with children in need, and their sales of some of the more extravagant stuff raises a lot of money for them!'

I has a little shocked. I did not know what to say. When they told me their stuff was donated to charity, I thought they meant they just threw it in a goodwill dumpster, not that they searched for and found and worked with some very special causes. So since I did not know what to say, I did the next best thing and just hugged her. "I love you Alice! I am so glad I am going to be your sister soon!" Now it was her turn to be surprised.. "Wow, Bella, you know I feel the same way right? I didn't say it in so many words, but I love you as much as Edward does!" She then poked me in the side where I am ticklish and when I jumped back she said "Gotcha!" and fled from the room back to her lair of wedding planning.

I still had a lot to think about. And the reason Jane was here was to bounce it off her. "So, Jane like I was saying. In spite of what Aro said, I feel like I do owe some debt to them. I want to stay and be a member of the guard, but I also want to be free to spend every waking moment with Edward! I just am so torn, I want to do everything...." Jane laughed, her high little squeaky laugh. "I almost forget you are a newborn some times Bella! It gets easier with time. Balancing your desires, and choices. You see now, you still see everything in terms of immediate need. You will learn patience over time. In time you will live a lifetime and still be young and realize WOW I am 200 years old! There will be time, for everything Bella. But Aro meant what he said. He has turned others who have potential and some more powerful than you who after becoming vampires did not want to stay. He let them go when he felt they were under control enough to keep the secret." I was going to say something but she cut me off. "Bella, it is not like you have to make a decision right now. Your power is a defensive one, so it is highly unlikely you will be sent on a mission before your wedding. We would only need you if we ran up against a vampire with a power like mine or Alex's."

I nodded, and stretched and yawned. "Yeah, you always know the right thing to say.... I am going to sleep now, I am exhausted...." Jane giggled at my joke, and dove at me tackling me off the bed. But I was bigger than her, a newborn, and therefore I quickly had her pinned. I said "Say uncle!" She said "You are soooooo lucky you have a shield! You should be ashamed of yourself picking on someone smaller than you! UNCLE!" She screamed when I was about to lick her face.

I rolled off her, and let her up. "Bella, you are such a dork!" But she was gone she flew out the door before I could tackle her again.

I had some thinking to do. And I knew I needed to talk to one person. The only father figure I really had left. Carlisle. Edward said he would support whatever decision I made. So I was off to see if Carlisle was available.