Author's Note: No you're not hallucinating, I'm actually updating. nods furiously
Thanks to everyone who takes time to review, it's really rewarding, I'm very grateful.
Anyway, here is chapter 5 (I've never been this far with a fic …).
It's seems a bit shorter, but that's because there's less dialogue. I have to confess I like it better than the last chapter, maybe because I don't feel like I'm jumping all over the place. What do you think?
And you shouldn't have to wait too long for chapter 6, it's practically written (in my head).
He reached for his half empty glass and quickly gulped down the auburn liquid, before reaching yet again for the nearly empty whisky bottle on the corner of the table and filling his glass once more.
As he nursed the alcohol container in his hand close to his heart, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering and got lost thinking back on the events that had taken place that very day.
This afternoon had brought to his knowledge the fact that Scarlett didn't spend her afternoons at the lumber mills anymore, chasing, like a hungry tigress its next meal, after Mr Ashley Wilkes.
He allowed himself to wonder for a brief moment if all this had any real signification or not. Could it possibly mean that she had finally grown up, come to her senses and realised that there was no hope for a future between her and the 'oh so very honourable' gentleman she had worshiped for over a decade?
He quickly snapped out of his reverie, of course her new habits had nothing to do with her discovering that her infatuation over Ashley was nothing more than something that had become a habit over the years, she would forever be blind to that fact, her love for him was the last string that tied her back to her childhood and the Old South, he didn't know if she would ever be ready to give that up.
She was probably just desperately trying to grasp the shreds of her torn reputation with the sole purpose of mending it.
She wasn't doing anything he, himself, hadn't done, he had just about licked the boot of every old cat in Atlanta when Bonnie was a baby to be regarded, for the first time in decades, as a respectable citizen of Atlanta.
Just why she was trying to regain the respect of the Old Guard, he wasn't sure, she had never really cared for them or of what they thought about her –he had his share of responsibility in that, he had taught her well, in some aspects the student had outrun the master.
After Scarlett had rushed off in her usual fashion and locked herself in her chambers, he had been left alone with the children; he had occupied himself and his mind by joining them in their games, telling them stories about pirates and battleship, and all three of them sat around him, their eyes full of wonder.
Strangely enough, and to his surprise, he had discovered, when Scarlett had had Wade, that he was rather fond of children. Before then, he had always assumed that not being a marrying man also implied that he wasn't and had no interest on being a father figure. But over the years, he had developed a special bond with Wade, then Ella, he had turned out to be the only constant male presence, apart from Ashley Wilkes, in their lives.
He loved children's innocence and their lack of preconceived opinions about others, it was a case of 'be kind to me, and I'll be kind to you in return', social backgrounds, religion, wealth and even race held no importance in their eyes.
He could honestly say that the day Bonnie Blue was born was the happiest of his life. He was finally a father; he had felt accomplished, fully satisfied, he was responsible for the presence of another being in this world.
Ever since he had taken his first glance at his small daughter, he had protected her, cherished her, spoilt her, and made sure she had everything the world could offer at her entire disposition.
Today was the first time he had realised that he had also shielded her from something else –her mother. He had never imagined for one second that Scarlett would ever bear a grudge against him for preventing her from bonding with Bonnie. He had always assumed that she would be more than thankful for it; after all she didn't like children. She didn't even want Bonnie. If he had let her have her way, their daughter would more than likely never have been born.
No, he reasoned, Scarlett couldn't possibly resent him because Bonnie preferred him to her, it was just a façade, it had to be, an act she put on in front of Mrs Wilkes to appear more maternal and ladylike.
Despite all this, he was happier than he had been in a long time; Scarlett's pregnancy and the prospect of being a father again provided him with a sense of plenitude.
Scarlett had seemed genuinely hurt by what he had said to her.
The more he thought about things, the more unclear they seemed, although, it didn't occur to him that his lack of understanding might be due to the generous amounts of liquor he had consumed that evening.
Maybe this time round, Scarlett was going to make an effort and do things differently for this baby. Had he really managed to hurt her to that extent? Had he finally managed, after years and years of trying, to pierce through that stone cold heart of hers?
He couldn't believe it; it had to be another one of her games, yet another attempt to play him like a fool again.
But those tears had seemed so real.
If he listened to his heart and not his head, he would be at that horror they called home this very instant, on his knees, pining on the other side of her locked bedroom door, like a lovesick puppy, begging for her forgiveness, her love and better things to come –it was a damn bloody good thing he was a man of reason and not one of sentiment.
Instead, he was here, drowning his feelings in liquor, following the path his mind told him to and this time it warned him not to act like a blind idiot and not to fall for her and her charms again, even though deep down all he wanted was to be with her. She would only ever make him miserable.
His mind ramblings were suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice that nearly always soothed his pain and worries, "Rhett, what's the matter?"
Belle Watling had been one of the very few things in Rhett Butler's life that he didn't have to worry about, no matter how long he was away for, what he had been away doing, he could always count on her to greet him warmly. He trusted her, she was his friend, although he knew deep down that she dreamed of being something more. He had no problem discussing what troubled him with her, which is why he told her everything, from his return with Bonnie to Scarlett's pregnancy.
"What shall I do Belle? Should I just go on living as usual? Should I try and make peace with her and start fresh? I'm sure if we just … I mean, Belle, the woman is carrying my baby after all?" he asked.
"How can you be so sure it's your child she's having?" the woman questioned raising her eyebrow ever so slightly.
"Belle …" Rhett began.
"I know what you're going to say Rhett, but I'm just telling you what I have heard. A woman like me is privy to a great deal of things other women aren't and I'm a very good listener, you know that," she said quickly.
Rhett gave her a questioning look, urging her to continue, curious to hear what she had to say.
"Recently I've been spending my evenings with one of Atlanta's finest gentlemen and he seemed to be pretty sure of what he was saying, you know how his kind likes to go on about idle gossip after … as if it made their cheating less sinful," she was rambling now, she was slightly uneasy, sweat was starting to build up behind her collar, she knew just to what extent Rhett loved his wife, even if he wasn't ready to admit it himself.
"Will you just get to the point Belle," Rhett said firmly.
"Yes, well, he suggested and he was pretty damn sure of himself, that your wife, Scarlett, had been intimate with Mr Wilkes."
Rhett immediately refuted the idea in his head before saying out loud, "Scarlett may be one of the most, if not the most, selfish, manipulative cold hearted woman to have walked the streets of Atlanta, but she is certainly not the kind who would commit adultery. It's the way she way brought up, she may have discarded most of the proper upbringing her Mother gave her, but parts of it still linger in the depths of her soul. She couldn't give herself physically to another man than her husband, she just not that kind of woman."
Belle took this last remark as a jibe at her and her profession and retorted, "And apparently she doesn't even give herself to him either, otherwise he wouldn't seek my company so very often."
Rhett felt like he had been slapped in the face, he looked at Belle in disgust, long enough for her to realise that she had just done some serious damage to their relationship. They had a silent agreement not to discuss together the subject of his lack of intimacy with his wife, she had crossed the line, and he wanted her to feel bad for it.
Without adding another word, he quickly finished the remaining whisky in his glass, grabbed his coat and his hat and left the rooms, showered under Belle's distant pleas of forgiveness.
He mounted his horse and set off in direction of his home. He enjoyed the tingling feeling the cool night air left on his cheeks; it gave him the clearness of mind he needed to think.
He realised that it didn't really matter that he was sure that his wife and Mr Wilkes had never shared more than an embrace, what was really important was what the rest of the population of Atlanta thought –and they thought his wife was an adulteress, nothing better than a vulgar whore.
They had never liked Scarlett, she was too modern for them, she was their scapegoat, the rumours about her must have spread like flees on a dog, the old cats must be feasting on Scarlett's misery. No matter how hard Melanie Wilkes tried to protect her friend, it was a lost battle if she was the only one fighting it.
This thought disturbed him greatly, first of all it seriously bruised his male pride and made him appear as a cuckold, and a cuckold, Rhett Butler certainly wasn't. Secondly it put his precious little Bonnie's reputation in jeopardy, and it weakened her position in society. He didn't even want to think about what harm these rumours would do to the baby, especially if people had doubts about who its father was.
As Peachtree Street came into view, he was sure of one thing, he had to repair the damage done to the Butler name before it was too late, but not tonight, the night was still young and going home now, would put him at the risk of running into Scarlett, and he couldn't face her, not now. He let the horse walk right past his house and continued into the dark of the night, in search of another bar.