Six: Impossible Future, Non-Existent Year
"What is it with him?" Avery asked as she headed over to Cameron's office.
"Who?"
"Marius! He's getting permission to head to Earth and help out his Clients. I was able to find out what was going on, enough to recommend he go there."
"Why?" Cameron asked before stopping and blinking at a report. "Oh."
"OH? His Client, a HUB that keeps him sane and who just caught a ride with your Client in order to get answers he should've had in the first place. On top of that...the Master, Cameron? That one caused enough problems with you and your wife, and now not only is he back, but he's Prime Minister and he sent Marius' group to the Himalayas! He's off to ensure he can save them just in case. Should we be worried?"
Cameron looked over at the report, or pretended to, then told her simply, "Yes. We should be very worried, not just for Marius and his Clients, but for Lilith and her husband."
--
Marius ran, cursing the timing, cursing how long it had taken, thanking Avery for all she had done to make it possible, and wondering if Lilith would be fine.
She has to be.
He heard the sound of a song, then drums and his body ached as he raced, hurting throughout his body as Jack woke up and he realized they couldn't win with that plan, but hoped the Doctor had a new one.
The sphere came and Marius, breathing hard as he felt one start to cut into him, slowed down time.
--
Toshiko woke with a headache, then woke fully when she remembered the whole of it. The odd things, the Toclafane, coming at them as they tried to run, as Owen and Gwen tried to shoot them down and the spheres laughed then shot--
"Tosh!" Gwen's voice caused her to look over and smiled. They were all alive.
We're all alive.
She blinked upon seeing the strange man that was lying down on the ground, his shirt opened and his body wrapped up, blood soaking some of the areas. He was normal height, his hair dark blond and his slacks and shoes not made for being in this area.
"Who is he?" she asked, moving over to check on him as well.
"We don't know," Owen told her, "We all woke up, and he was there. When I woke up, Gwen was trying to keep him alive. Ianto's getting something quickly for food. We hid in the cave, but...those things, they've taken over the world. What we can tell is that Saxon is being it, and he's...he's not human. How the bloody hell--?"
"We've been through this," Ianto told them as he walked in, handing Toshiko a small mug of cold water. "We can't tell or contact anyone, not without alerting those things where we are, and he hasn't woken up yet."
Gwen sighed. "I wish Jack were here."
"with the doctor..."
The group jumped as the man moaned and slowly opened his eyes, revealing blue eyes that seemed to be much older then the man looked.
"Who are you?" Owen asked.
"Marius," the young man said quietly, looking over at Owen.
"Why are you here?"
"to save you from those things. I had to."
"Why?" Gwen asked.
"It...it's important," he said, "to me."
Ianto blinked then said, "I know that voice. From Brecon Beacons...you were the one in my head!"
Marius looked over at Ianto and nodded, then stiffened and groaned.
"The thing, the splinter. I saw what Toshiko saw when she was running away, didn't I?"
A stiff nod as Owen checked Marius' vitals.
"What was it?"
"A connection...to all of you. I had to come here and ensure you would live."
"He's slipping," Owen said matter-of-factly as Toshiko decided to ask her own question.
"Why us? Why not Jack, or someone else? Why us?"
"To keep me sane..."
The eyes closed and the group looked over at the boy as his body twitched and his eyes moved behind the lids, as if he was stuck somewhere else.
"Oh bloody hell," Owen muttered as he moved to keep Marius alive, Toshiko helping as Gwen moved out of the way then asked.
"What did that mean? Keep him sane?"
Ianto frowned before saying, "When he was in my head, it was odd. Like he did what he could to help me. Remember, I was supposed to have had a concussion and didn't, and half of my wounds were fine in a few days. He was in there to make sure I was fine...so what if his connection is with all of us and he feels what happens to us?"
Gwen then blinked before saying, "When I brought back Suzie, when I had the headache...for a while, I thought there was something trying to keep me alive, trying to keep her out of my energy. I did hear his voice too...he yelled my name, got me to release Suzie at a point even though she was still alive."
"Then he knows about all of us, he should take us to Jack," Owen said.
Toshiko shook her head. "What if Jack's in danger? I read him when I had that necklace, but I didn't have anything. So what if he does have a connection, but it's more then just reading us? What if he's part of our subconscious, including Jack?"
"I am."
"You need rest, mate," Owen told the slowly-waking Marius.
"No time. I need to tell you all this, to make sure you're fine. I was called back."
"Back where?" Toshiko asked.
"Back from observing. I have to tell you everything that happened, to make sure that you're ready for this. You need to start a resistance, and we have to get to where Martha Jones is."
"Who?" Ianto asked.
Marius smiled. "A friend of the Doctor's. She has the plan, and you just need to give her the parts."
"Well, you're too weak for anything," Gwen said.
Marius shook his head. "No. I can do this. Hold my hand."
--
"Sidra?"
Marius nodded towards the newest of the group, a dark-skinned girl who had escaped the Valiant. "They'll be looking for you but with the item the Doctor gave you, you'll be fine. I have to report in to what's going on, and have been called back because of it. But in the meantime, I've convinced the sphere-things that these five are dead. They don't see them either as long as, like you, they do things that keep them unnoticed, but you'll need them to help you out."
Martha sighed and nodded. "What do we need to do? We have to figure out a way to get close to the Master, to save the Doctor and the Earth, which sound easy."
Owen snorted. "Bloody simple, compared to what we've done..."
"And me with the Doctor..." Martha sighed at that and shook her head. "We can do this. We have to."
Ianto slowly pulled out the small items. "It's not a real gun...originally, Torchwood One wanted to create a weapon in case they needed it against the Doctor or any other Time Lord, but it failed and was simply put in as a possible distraction. We also couldn't get the right compound for the last liquid needed. However, it's real enough that you could convince him it's a threat."
Martha nodded and took it from Ianto, shoving into the small pack she had. "Where should I start?"
Gwen looked over at the others then said, "We'll head out on our own. Help you out and get others to start a resistance. We can do this."
Toshiko nodded, the group looking at Marius before Martha said, "The other Sidra...Lilith. Was she--."
"She has her own agenda," Marius told her, "and I have mine. Trust me, whatever she does isn't as bad as some of the other Sidra I've met."
Martha met Marius' eyes before nodding. "Right then. Let's start."
--
"Your worse then my niece," Avery told him as she ensured his back had healed, "and the way things are going, you might need a new body soon. This one is getting it's fair share of scars."
"They've all healed up well," he muttered as he put his shirt back on and hissed after moving his arm one way.
"What's wrong?"
"Shared pain from Jack," he told her, then waved it off. "It's fine. The group is safe and he's not going to be killed either. I guess the Master would rather torture him and the others instead of just outright killing them."
Avery frowned. "Don't sound so happy about it. Lilith's stuck there too, and this isn't going to be something she'll recover from easily."
"I know," he told her, "and while I'd say I was sorry for her, it was her idea to do this. The consequences are on her...but I'm not going to say she should have to deal with everyone disliking her, like I know they will."
"Why do you say that?"
"She's doing her job to a degree. She feels this is what's needed and gets enough approval to go through with it. If things are messed up because of it, that's not her fault. Considering the other two Caretaker's I've had to deal with, she's at least doing her job. Those two..." Marius took in a breath. "She's getting too much attention just because she was Curator and is now the Field Agent for the Time Lords, and because of all they've done. At least in the end, things turn out good. I just hope he doesn't break her heart."
"Hearts."
Marius blinked at Avery as she continued, "Her body has two hearts, Marius, and will because of the Time Lord DNA she got from him. It's rather interesting."
Marius paused at that then said, "Either way...I just hope he doesn't break her heart...or hearts. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
Avery shook her head. "For someone who has five others in his head, you're uncommonly romantic about this, you know. Do you secretly want to be my niece's husband instead?"
Marius flushed a deep red before he said quickly, "She's happy with the Doctor. Why would she want me? I'm dull, compared to him."
Avery shrugged. "Either way, it would've been nice for her."
"No," Marius said, "I don't think it would be. But it's nice of you to think that, Avery. Anyway, I have to go. Reports to write, a resistance to help head, that sort of thing. Thanks for everything."
Avery nodded as he left and she looked skyward. "Gods, I wonder about that boy. Still, he's quite nice. I hope my niece realizes how much she should appreciate him later on, and returns that large favor she already owes him."
There was a long pause before Avery smacked her palm against her forehead. "Oh Purple Matriarch, what did I just jinx them with?"
--
It was an odd task, putting himself into the mind of Ianto Jones as many times as he could to assess the situations that came up. He also had to deal with watching the horrors that the Master felt like pushing upon the human race in order to do what he could and build a new empire.
Jack, like the Jones family and the Doctor, seemed to be trapped in a type of torment where they were humiliated, horrified, and terrorized almost daily and not in that order by the Master himself.
Marius had taken to keeping long hours, writing what he could from the perspective of the Torchwood group, both inside the Valiant and in the resistance, as Martha Jones traveled the world and spread her word.
In a year, at the countdown, everyone was to think, to say, the name of the one who helped her become their salvation. If she was the Saint, he was the God behind her.
Saint Martha Jones, herald of the Doctor.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself in this, he thought as he watched the scenes, and she's not...she's at the point where she's coming back home now.
Ianto had already told the resistance of the return of Martha Jones, and Gwen had ensured a small leak, allowing for the Master to hear it. He wouldn't be able to find her just yet, which was the good news. The bad news, though, was that for this to work, they had to rely on the Master's over-developed sense of showmanship when it came to the Doctor's Companion, as well as the one person giving humanity hope from their new state.
Of course, there was one thing that nagged at his mind, and that was what he knew of how Lilith was acting around the Master.
Are you sure she's...not evil? Ianto had asked him once after the burning of the Japanese Islands, and he wasn't sure how to answer that. He knew Lilith enough that she would do what she could for her clients, but when she now had two and they were so different from one another?
I have faith in her, he had told Ianto instead, but not so much in her clients.
Marius sighed as he shifted in his seat, looking at the date. It would soon be a year to the day Martha Jones had left the Valiant, he had gone to Earth in order to save the rest of the Torchwood group, and that the Master had taken control. The Doctor's plan was about to take effect, and he could only hope it would work.
Hey!
Marius jumped at the sound and blinked before realizing who it was that had yelled at him.
I know you're there, so talk to me!
What do you want?
I was wondering how my friends were.
I don't keep tabs on the Doctor and the Caretakers of that other Earth glare at me when I'm not even in the room. I wouldn't know.
There was what sounded like an annoyed snort from the other end. I meant my team.
They're alive.
Could you be more specific? Like alive and well or aliveish or—you know, something?
Marius sighed and leaned back in his chair, thinking about a response to this before saying, I saved them, and the Toclafane are ignoring them in general. They're helping to lead the resistance, as well as helped Martha get back to England. They're all worried about you as well, but I've only been able to tell them that you're on the Valiant and there's no way to save you, plus had to explain that if they did it would be worse torture for you then what they've tried to do. I can pass on a message but I somehow doubt it'll be remembered when you return everything to normal.
There was a small laugh from the other side. Martha told you that, huh? It was fun...being with the Doctor again, doing all of this, but...I miss them. I'm worried about them but also proud none of them were caught, or even found. I'm proud and want to do what I can for them. Still, they're going to be pissed at me when I come back.
You could try, I don't know, talking to them and explaining things.
A snort of annoyance. Why? Who I was is not who I am now. I know now that Rose gave me life and didn't mean it, but with this I have a purpose. I know the Doctor can't really take me anywhere but he at least knows where I am and is taking care of himself to a degree. I'm not the conman I was, nor am I a Time Agent anymore. I'd like those three years back, and to redo a few things, but I'm not about to get ahead of myself on it. Right now, I just want to know they're okay and you're watching over them.
Marius looked at the computer screen and report then told Jack, I am, and they're fine. Ianto misses you, and so does Gwen.
He could hear the smile. I'm glad. Those two...those two are probably the two I can't be without anymore. Owen...well, I did hire him. He's a great guy, if a prick, and Toshiko has grown a lot since I met her. I'm glad they're alive. I'm glad they're okay.
Marius decided against telling him what had happened during the short amount of time he was gone and the group had been working without him. Save your strength for the return to normal, Jack. You'll need it.
--
"Gotcha!" Avery said with some triumph as she grabbed Marius just before he entered the closet of his office, "you're not getting away with it this time!"
"Professor Avery, please!"
She gave him a quick shake as she quickly transported both of them to her small room, where a comfortable bed, complete with light straps to help hold down people comfortably, were. "I won't here of it again, Marius. You're not going to go insane just because of them. They can take care of themselves, and the fact that a Paradox Machine is about to be destroyed and a whole year lost for everyone, you need to stay here and make sure you're ready for it!"
Marius gave the bed a dubious look. "Are you--."
"IN!"
Marius started to move away from the bed when Avery bodily shoved him in, taking the time to wave her hand and allow the straps to fasten themselves of their own accord.
"AVERY!"
Avery cast the younger Sidra a glare. "This is for your own good, Marius. I'm not about have you hurt yourself by hiding in that fitted closet every time one of your clients gets themselves hurt, dies when they shouldn't, or anything close to that. Now I'm going to help you through this because I studied up on it, and on top of that you need to stay sane."
"Professor..."
"MY NIECE IS ABOUT TO BE AS DEPRESSSED AS HER FATHER WAS RIGHT BEFORE HE EXPLODED HIMSELF, SO YOU WILL BE AROUND TO STOP THAT, UNDERSTOOD?"
"yes." Marius paused as his head fell back against the pillow. "Ow."
"What?"
"Jack just headed for the Paradox Machine, and the others are thinking of the Doctor. It's...ow."
"You're not very talkative, are you?"
Marius started to retort when his eyes closed and his face contorted in barely-concealed pain. Avery quickly headed over and touched Marius' hand. "Marius, now what?"
"Toclafane...protecting the TARDIS."
"And Jack raced right into them, didn't he? I don't care if he can survive a javelin, the man is going to get a piece of my mind, next I run into him. Now hold still, Marius, I have the doses needed--."
"AH!"
"Oh---" not being able to think of just one curse, Human or Sidra, Avery set on all of them as she hurried to finish what she hoped would help this boy out.
--
"Repeat that to me again, and in normal terms."
Avery looked skyward as the last clasp was unfastened and Marius sat up in the bed. "I added in a few things that one of my ancestors found would help in such situations. Not that Paradoxes and those with a telepathic feedback are connected to people often, but half the time they're from your ancestor's line, so--."
"Thanks."
"Of course."
"It was sarcasm."
"I know."
Marius sighed and flexed his wrists. "So the connections are...dimmed?"
"With the exception of the one who rode back through the Paradox, as well as your other Hub to an extent, yes. Since they seem like doors to you, consider it like being able to close the door and block it, but the deadbolt's been set. If they push hard enough, they can open it up if you close it, but the rest of the time it's all up to you."
As he stood and happily found the ground solid beneath his feet, Marius cast another look at the bed then asked, "And the bed?"
"I was kinky when I was younger, it runs in the family. Now, I think Lilith should be back from that royal snafu that came up, so I suggest you go and comfort her before she gets too depressed and Cameron has to try and comfort her. The man may be her father but he is incredibly dense at times. You'd think an exploded head would make up for that, but nooo..."
--
Marius looked at the small items in his cupboard and sighed. So much for that dinner idea he was thinking of...well, he could just give her tea. Tea always helped people, right? And who could turn it down?
He smiled as he quickly got the kettle and water out, setting to find himself with a good helping of tea that came in various colors, flavors, and shapes before deciding something sweet too, like crackers or little cake-things would help as well. He had to have that somewhere.
Finding a few Earth Fig Newtons and some other treats, he was happy when the tea kettle whistled and he gingerly picked it up, making sure it was perfect before he actually stepped back and looked at the arrangement. Where had he--
Oh...
Ianto Jones, when he had first come to Torchwood Three and they learned he not only was good at almost everything, but also made coffee and tea that was some of the best this side of the universe (even for Jack, who had tasted a lot of coffee and tea in his time), he was given the job. And while it earned him the slightly annoying nickname of 'tea boy' from Owen, he took pleasure in the routine, just has he had from making sure Lisa was okay, or that everyone's needs were met. He and Toshiko were often left in the Hub, and then more often he was left as Toshiko became part of the team. After Lisa and everything, Jack had slowly pushed Ianto into the team, and thus the routine that he had established of staying behind and having everything ready was interrupted.
But not really. In reality it was still there, still something he did even after he became part of the team, even after Jack disappeared and he went out with them and did more. Still, he always made sure everyone had their tea or coffee, that it was how they liked it, and that it was very much like this setup.
"How much of them is in me already?" Marius mused as he looked at the setting. Jack preferred coffee, but he liked tea, like Ianto did. He tended to enjoy a lot of the same things Ianto did, but he had originally just thought that was because Ianto was a Hub and thus rubbed off on him and besides, Ianto would've made a good Caretaker or Field Agent had he been born a Sidra. Now it appeared there was a little more to that.
With a very curious thought, Marius touched into his own mind and nearly blinked at what he saw.
The connections to the other three were smaller, like they had been ripped and reworked into the same area while Jack's was the same, a type of eye of the storm.
Ianto's was the strangest, a type of tie that bound everyone's together but was apart from Jack's Hub.
Probably because it happened due to that concussion, Marius thought as he examined it again. More of Ianto seemed to have bled in when the connection was rewired then anyone else's, making it's way into him and becoming part of his mind without him even realizing it.
Taking a deep breath and drawing on Ianto's experience at smoothing things out when people got depressed or ready for a fight, Marius picked up the small tray and made his way to where Avery said Lilith would be sulking.
--
If there was one thing about the mountain, it was remote, alone, and pretty much as gloomy as one needed it to be if someone wanted to stay there and feel sorry for themselves for a long time.
Checking once more to make sure everything was good, Marius started up the trail when he heard, "What are you doing here?"
He paused long enough to see Yvenda standing nearby, looking at him oddly.
"I should ask the same question."
"I came to make sure she was still out of the way and not causing anymore damage then she already has. Same for you?"
Marius didn't return her smile before instead turning away and heading up the path. He had known that Yvenda and Lilith were not the best of friends...or even on good terms with each other, but this was getting things to become more then a little out of hand.
Another sigh escaped him as he walked up to where he knew Lilith would be, an itch in his back from the remembered pain of the last time he had gone anywhere near mountains and what he had encountered there. Near God-like powers had helped in that situation, but this one was a little more volatile.
He paused at the entrance of the cave and looked in, hoping to see some sign of life. "Hello? Lilith?"
True to any natural cave or dwelling of those wishing to be left alone, all that returned was a slight echo of his words and he slumped his shoulders before straightening and walking in, "It's me, Marius. I've just come to see if you're okay."
He paused as he reached the part of the cave that seemed lived-in, if evidenced by the small amount of gear that allowed a spartan lifestyle: a small camp fire for cooking and heat, a burner with a small pot on it, a bedroll that had been left out, and one or two other things. A small diary, closed and standard-issue of any good Sidra, also was nearby and he frowned at it before shaking his head. "Like I need to read anything."
Finding a good-sized area, he set the tray down before sitting himself, looking around for any sign. "I'd like to see you too, you know. I do know you're here, and not just because Avery told me. I'm from Seidra's line...I can feel you mentally. It's...I've seen worse."
A voice finally broke the silence of the cave, familiar but full of malice. "Oh, so you can feel me, huh? How do you like it?" There was a pause before the voice came back, this time different and full of pain. "I'm a failure, Marius, and I don't want anyone to see me until I've gotten this right once and for all. Because if you can see me, feel me, you'll know that even though I did my best to save him, to redeem myself after all I've done, I've still lost. "
Marius looked around but failed to find Lilith or where the voice, which echoed in the cave, was coming from. "I understand, but you need to have someone to help you through this. You can't do everything by yourself and shutting people out won't help you. I should know...I have five people in my head who shut themselves away from the others, who keep secrets, who think they can work things out on their own, and they've had to have their fair share of falls, of disgraces, to learn that they can rely on the others." He waited a minute then said, "I saved them from the first day of the invasion. In my head are their memories of that year that never was, and because of it I had to go through a mental hell of having those connections cut, rewired, and returned to me. The only one still in tact is Jack's, and trust me, if the Doctor thinks he has issues he has a good runner-up in Captain Jack."
There was a sudden hitch of breath despite his attempt at humor. "But... just the way he looked at me. In the very end, the look in his eyes and what he said to me... do you know what he said?"
"Nothing that will help my opinion of him, I suppose."
He felt and heard something that caused him to turn and blink at the view before him. Lilith, who he had first met with a mess of a sonic rifle on his desk and various items while she reworked it's ammo to use only her own energy, now looked like she had gone through years of the hell that had just happened, and not in the comfort he knew she had been partly given. Her hair was tossed and messy, her skin paler then usual and giving her an unhealthy look, her clothing dirty from not being washed and with a few small holes here and there from the owner obviously not caring. The circles under her eyes spoke of her sleepless nights as well as the newest addition to her haunted and traumatized being. Staring into his eyes, keeping him mesmerized by the transformation she had undergone, she told him, "He looked at me like I was the worst piece of trash he'd ever seen, Marius, and he said this.." she sighed, looking down and breaking the spell, but not before he had seen enough from that, "'Don't touch me.'"
He waited, having seen the reenactment of the scene that caused her so much pain in her mind, stuck at the front of it while behind it a familiar four-part beat seemed to thump, like an erratic heart striving to work. It was odd to see and hear that, knowing to a degree what it meant and not understanding his feelings now. Before, when it had only been her name and a mental image, Marius had taken that as a banner, as the symbol of one who did what they could for their Client and that he had to follow the example of, and through that he had gained the courage and mental strength to help Gwen when she had been connected to Suzie.
"He doesn't know what he's done to you, does he? He didn't realize how much he can hurt someone because of his own sense of worth. I should know, wouldn't I? I have two who don't see him as the savior he thinks he is. Or maybe he only thinks that because he has to, to make up for all he did and all that was done. In his name or against him, by aliens or Time Lords...or those who are supposed to watch over him anyway, and remember him because everyone else wrote him off for dead."
The last words seemed to cause a reaction, as Lilith looked up again at him and this time he had to blink and try to not look at her eyes, as the four-time beat became a little louder for a second as her eyes flashed with a type of maniac glee before she told him, her voice shaking and almost a snarl. "But don't you see, Marius? It was all my fault in the first place! I did something foolish and stupid, and now I'm having to pay for it. And oh, how I've paid."
Marius stopped himself from audibly swallowing by instead looking around the room then back to a spot off of Lilith's left shoulder. "So I noticed. You've gone down in life, that's for sure, and you need to probably be seen by Professor Avery again, in case of lice."
Yes, because that strategy of insulting with a slight flirt works so well for Captain Jack...and Ianto. I wished I wasn't so much like them anymore...but I need to help her. I need to make sure she knows that others care for her, that it's not just his opinion of her that matters!
The comment brought a sneer that didn't suit her. "Lice, Marius? Pests are the least of my worries, and I'm staying here until I've killed them all off." A pause as her head tilted and the sneer turned into a type of sinister smile. "Unless, of course, you think you can change my mind? Or maybe you're going to drag me out." The smile faded into a glare, "Well, you can just bloody try it, boy. Who do you think is responsible for that little miracle back on the Valiant?"
Marius steeled himself and looked her in the eye. "I know it was you. I wasn't there and I was going through my own mental hell, but I knew it was you. Even if Jack wanted to credit the Doctor, he knew it was more than him as well. Time Lords, for all their nature and powers, are not demi-gods, and Jack knows about us. But least you forget as well, Lilith, I'm not a boy anymore. I am a Caretaker of the Rift on Earth, and thus of Torchwood Three, the Hub in Cardiff, and all those within it. I put an end to a Caretaker who allowed cannibals to roam free and who nearly killed Yvenda, and I'm sure you're sorry they didn't fully succeed in that. I was the one who held Compline over the open Rift and then dropped him in for what he did to my Clients. And while you're not my Client, I consider you a friend, and I don't care what you say or do, I will help you get through this. He's not worth anything you're doing to yourself, and certainly," he waved his hand around the cave, "neither of them are worth this."
The odd light that had made Marius worried receded a bit as Lilith's face took on a desperate and nearly horrified quality. "But I hear it, Marius. Drums. In my mind...they won't stop. Like he's watching me and laughing..." she shuddered suddenly as her eyes turned watery from unshed tears. "How can you stop that? I can't..."
With slow purpose, Marius stood and said, "I can't stop anything in my mind. When you remembered the knives coming at you, the whirling, the feeling of becoming a Cyberman, I saw that. It haunted me for a week afterward, and I know it's stuck in there, just like those drums that I hear faintly, like a radio station playing loudly in the car next to me. I also hear Gwen's anger and resentment of Jack who left them without a word, I hear Owen's slow return to sanity and his want to change so he isn't hurt again. I hear Toshiko slowly moving in her role, testing it and unsure, I hear Ianto wanting to help them and enjoying his time as that team-member now but hating the idea of taking life, of seeing lives being taken. And I hear Jack, confident and happy about his team, at ease with himself, and angry at the Doctor. Angry because that man should take more consideration for those he leaves behind, because he saw how Martha Jones looked at the Doctor, and how you did, and he knows the Doctor is only thinking of a woman he can never have again, is not letting go when everyone else is."
There was a pause of silence before Lilith gave an embarrassed eye roll before saying, a little sheepishly, "I suppose I really have become transparent, haven't I? I can dally all I want, but ultimately I'll always go running off after the one thing I can't have..."
Marius gave a small shrug. "So did Jack. That got him to the end of the universe and to learn he was a Fact, and that the Doctor is cheeky in his new incarnation. Also got him to realize he enjoys being in Torchwood more then traveling with the Doctor. Misses parts, sure, but in the end he does it in Torchwood and must figure it out himself, not just rely on someone else to do it for him." Marius paused at that. "I really need to stop praising him. Even Jack doesn't praise himself this much." He looked back at Lilith and motioned to the tray on his feet. "I brought tea, and some food, if you're up for it."
Lilith gave a nod and joined Marius, sitting across from him at the small improvised table. "Tea is nice - and I mean real tea, not this strange stuff I've been making out of bark or whatever." A quiet sigh, then, "Okay, then, since you seem to have all of the answers - where do I go from here? Do I keep just throwing myself up against the glass, hoping it'll break but instead just leaving myself a bloody mess?"
Marius paused at this, thinking it through and going into the experiences of the others before saying, "I would tell you that a rock or something heavy to throw at the glass would do wonders, and that's what friends are for, but then I'd have to warn you that another, thicker pane of glass will appear instead. Like a shooter game or one of those horror flicks that Earth people like so much...no matter how much you might kill something off, another, worse thing is waiting nearby to cut you in half and brutally murder you. But again, others might be there to help you out how they can, even if they fall with you. I'm pretty sure I won't be too far behind in this level of...um...comfort should one of the Torchwood group die suddenly."
His speech had caused Lilith to look at him almost owlishly before she blinked and shook her head, giving him a dry grin. "You've got the strangest metaphors for things, Marius, but I think I get the picture." She paused as she reached for one of the cookies and gave him a sly raise of one eyebrow. "You know, I have got that rifle..."
"You'll have to constantly change the settings, and it was a metaphor, not an invitation to break random glass windows or anything..." He sighed and checked on the tea. "I have something called lapsang souchong, I hope it's okay."
Lilith watched him pour the tea as she muttered, "I was being facetious, ass. And of course that's okay. I shouldn't be surprised that you know what my favorite kind of tea is."
Marius blinked at her, genuinely surprised. "It is?" He poured himself a small cup and took one of the cookies as well. "Sorry, but I only get small feeds on people at times. I got more on you because you're...projecting. I didn't realize it was until you said it."
Lilith now looked at him as she blew on the tea to cool it down. "So this is your grand rehabilitation plan? Tea, cookies, and repressed, smoldering emotion?"
"I could've done what Jack does and just toss you back to work in the 'sink or swim' method, but that worked out so well for Ianto I decided you didn't need to go through a phrase where suicidal thoughts kept you going." Marius sighed. "Having him as a Hub was an accident to begin with, and somehow a few of his actions creep into my own easily. The tea and cookies thing," he motioned to the tray, "would be something he would do. He knows when and where to offer a hug or shoulder to cry on, and he's completely empathic to the situations around him. That makes him good for a friend, bad for someone who has to shoot things. So I'm taking the Ianto approach: give them something they enjoy, listen to their woes, back off until you feel they're fine. If that doesn't work, try the Jack approach, which means I'd be more of an ass then I think you can deal with now."
Lilith looked over at him, sipped some of her tea, then nodded before saying, "Cookies are good, then..."
"Like I said before, I match your Doctor with five members of Torchwood and we call it even." He drank some of his own and looked back over at her. "Better or would you like to vent again?"
Lilith glanced at him over the rim of her mug before she muttered into it, "All I've got to vent about now is nothing you want or need to hear about. Frustrations, mainly. That sort of thing. Your choice."
Marius gave her a warm smile. "It's what I'm here for." He took another cookie before adding, "Besides, you don't need to hear mine."
Lilith sipped a little more before muttering again, "But I'll bet yours don't have to deal with guilt, nudity, adultery, and various naughty uses for office supplies..."
Marius looked at her and turned red before coughing. "Actually...yes, they all do." He quickly drank more tea but felt his cheeks still heated as he realized that she was looking at him oddly. He finally said, as way of clarification, "Well, the 'office supplies' was really Jack's office and a stopwatch..."
"Ah. Well, so long as it didn't involve rubber bands and creative placement of gator clips, then we're somewhat out of the woods..."
Marius coughed again. "Yeah, right...can we leave it at 'anything you can do, Jack has done twice in a day and standing on his head?' And if he hasn't done it, Owen has."
Lilith seemed to be amused by his new red skin tone and gave an idle shrug. "Then some day I must compare notes with these esteemed gentlemen. It seems their lives are infinitely more interesting than mine could ever be."
Marius nodded at a thought. "I would talk to Owen. He'd probably give you some tips on the evil glass wall that leads to being isolated on a mountain. Just don't mention Weevils to him, he's still a little odd about that."
Lilith held out her cup for more tea. "Weevils...right. And you. What about you?"
Marius put his cup down to pour her more tea and looked over before shrugging. "I...well...not much. I apparently have another place with some of that Beast race stuck under it and...well...there were cannibals. Most of the offices from Earth tend to glare at me because I have Torchwood as a client, and it got pretty bad when one of them created a time bomb-Trojan Horse person and they started to brutally murder people. Other then that and headaches from the group being emotional wreaks, not much."
Lilith gave him a small glare. "That's not what I meant, but I guess it'll do..."
Marius looked over at her again. "It's the tea. It calms you down, so no more projecting. I can't read you if you're not projecting, so...well...not much to go on." It also doesn't help that, seeing you again brings up those emotions I didn't remember having...you're more like your Doctor then you know.
Lilith seemed to blink, as if he has said his thoughts out loud, then looked down at the refilled cup, giving him a quiet, even gaze from over the top of her mug. Marius offered a small, shy smile and wondered if he would always revert back to being the new Caseworker that had walked into her office and spoken to her about his first assignment before he was bounced around the Earth-Human department, given over as Curator and then finally dropped off into the Torchwood group of Cardiff and all their woes.
Lilith finally broke the silence, saying, "If this is what deep thought does to you, Marius, I'd suggest you stop. I daresay you're regressing..."
Marius shook his head, feeling the blush return. "No, it's not that! I mean...this was...well..." he paused, trying to think of a coherent thought to explain his actions, "You needed this. After all that happened, and all that was said...you needed someone to show you that you aren't the failure you think you are, that...that your just excessively cursed with bad luck and being in the wrong place at the wrong time and if the Doctor doesn't understand that he's the worst type of hypocrite in the world. I...well...I can't really be unbiased in this, I have Jack and Ianto's thoughts wandering in my head and they're not...favorable to the Doctor a lot. Well, Jack's are, a little more then Ianto's, but still biased."
Lilith shifted to look at him again as he said, "Well...I know Jack's a former companion, but he also wasn't happy that the Doctor left him and didn't explain things or even look for him...he had to get his hand and use it to tell him if the Doctor was nearby, then he's told because he's a Fact that's why the Doctor isn't about to go anywhere near him. It's...well, Jack wasn't too happy about it, but at least now he knows why those things happen."
"And that Ianto guy?"
Marius shifted before saying, "He was in Torchwood One, at the battle of Canary Wharf. He had hidden for the most part and was trying to escape when he was caught by Cybermen near the end of the battle. They needed soldiers fast...to deal with the Daleks, and had taken to converting whole bodies, like the older types of Cybermen. His girlfriend, Lisa, was taken in first, then all of them left and turned off the machines. He went in and...and she was partly converted, still in pain. Not Human, but not converted, and through the hell of the last few minutes of the battle he took her out. He found a place for her before the area went to hell, and somehow helped to find more bodies, find others who had survived or hidden, and then moved her. He thought he saw the Doctor once, heading into the TARDIS when he was still looking for coworkers and others who had survived, then leaving. To him...the Doctor helped, the Doctor did what he could, but afterwards he left. He didn't care about the aftermath, or those who were still alive, still in need of his help. He just left to go and do his own agenda or purpose. So Ianto doesn't exactly like him."
Lilith paused before finally asking, "And what do you think?"
Marius looked over at her, remembering the times he had seen her, remembering what he had heard from Avery about her, remembering all that Yvenda had complained to him about that he had only cared about the news concerning Lilith...
"He hurts you. I don't like him for it. I don't like that he does that to you, that he seems to find a way to help and hurt you so much. Even if you do these things in the hopes he'll grow and end up hurting yourself, he always makes it worse. Doctors are supposed to make it better, not worse. They're not supposed to drive you to this, or to make any other Companion feel like they can never be loved. He's not supposed to tell people that nothing will happen when the only way he had heal is if he lets it happen. For all his immortal nature and countless years, he's still failed to grasp that one thought...it's depressing and I hate him for doing this to you."
Lilith looked over at him fully, Marius only glancing at her from the side as he looked at the small fire she had kept going. He had never meant to tell her that, especially not about the Doctor, but...
Those who sign the contracts of marriage are those who are in a serious enough relationship that they would do it. Being forced into it doesn't change that fact.
And he's not acting like a husband. He's acting like she's just a replacement, a filler until Rose returns. He should be smart enough to realize that won't happen.
Marius was unsure as to what came over him on that. He knew the Doctor did what he could for the places he visited, but he also never stayed behind to help in the aftermath. He handed down judgment like he was a demi-god but never seemed to remember that he had just as many flaws as the others.
At least Torchwood has no pretensions about that...they're all human and make mistakes, and they acknowledge it.
"Marius?"
He looked back over at her before taking the chance and closing the distance between them, placing a chaste kiss on her lips, not so much a pressure but an obvious kiss. The intimate touch caused him to see a small, strange fracture within her mind, like there was two Liliths instead of one, before he suddenly was pushed backwards, the shock of it causing his mouth to open briefly as a tongue slipped in while he continued backwards, finding himself on his back and groaning at the returned pain while a sudden four-part drumbeat grew louder.
Marius pushed upwards, moving Lilith's mouth from his with some difficulty before she suddenly grabbed his arms and pushed down, pinning him as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "How long have you waited for that to happen, boy? Do you hate the Doctor because of what was said or because he got me before you did?" A nip at his ear as her breath tickled his skin, his own struggle to get away from her while the drums pounded in his own head through her contact causing him to force himself to try and block that out as she bit his shoulder and caused him to gasp at the pain of it. "Or are you interested in what Jack has, or what I know? What brought you here, Marius? Don't tell me you're just going to offer me tea and think I'll be satisfied."
"I'm sorry."
Lilith let out a chuckle as she moved to look at him, her eyes holding that strange light that shook him. "Sorry? For what? All that talk about your bias and you're not willing to go further? Why not be the one to heal me of the Doctor? Or are you still a good Sidra and want to wait for a marriage contract?" she leaned down, getting closer to him as she whispered to him, "It's overrated. Let me show you how things should be. Let me take what I want, what I'm denying myself because of that man you hate so much. Come now. You've given me everything else, Marius. Why deny me this?"
Marius felt himself shaking as he said, "Because this isn't Lilith. I won't give you what you think you want just because you wear her face and voice."
The slap was unexpected and he suddenly felt the pressure of her body off of him, causing him to blink and slowly sit up before seeing that the cup has been spilled and Lilith was a ways away from him, shaking herself and looking horrified.
"I'm sorry, Marius. I'm so sorry."
His cheek stung but he shook his head, not bothering to rub it. "I've had worse. You'd think I'd have learned by now to block the pain of Jack's deaths, but nope. That was mild."
"I...I would've..."
Marius shook his head to her. "You didn't."
"But..."
"No, no buts. You didn't. You're still Miss Lilith, still the Field Agent of the Time Lord Office, and still married to the Doctor. You are who you are after countless trials and errors. I came here to offer you support, and never thought I would take it that far. I'm sorry for starting it, and ending it so abruptly. The other in there...is only a fraction of you, and not at all you. I may not know you well, Lilith, but I know you enough that I can tell something new and fake when I see it."
Lilith looked over at him before sighing. "Can you be so sure?"
"Of course. I didn't see it before, and I haven't seen it until after you met up with the Master. Unlike the rest of us, you're closer to your Clients, not just through wanting to be but because you share their DNA and their sorrows, their faults. You can't blame yourself for it, anymore then they should blame you for it. After all, you didn't create the Master or the Doctor; their society did." He waited a moment before retrieving and cleaning off the small cup and replacing it on the tray, then saying, "If you want me to leave, I will, but you can keep the tray. There are a few extra tea bags in there as well, if you want them."
Lilith looked over at him, then said simply, "Stay. I think I'll need the company for now. I'll try not to bite...this time..."
Marius gave a small smile, and said, "In that case, how about I make a little more tea?"
February29 note: The ending talk between Marius and Lilith are in mishklet's So Much Dust chapter 24. The next few will run concurrent with each other, so look to both for the full stories.