ChapterThirty Four: Be It Ever So Humble.....

A/N: alice! Yes, but I have already decided to take it one step further. As for getting an account here at Fan Why not? It costs nothing, and it will give you the tools to keep track of all your favorite stories, like story and author alerts and you can even post your own stories! I think this site is brilliant. It is simple and easy to navigate, no stupid graphics to slow it down, I really like it and hope they never change it!

Also I own none of these characters not even the ones I invented, as all of my inspiration comes from Stephenie Meyer, and the sweet sweet people who review my stories! This is for all of you!

We arrived in forks a little after 7am. It is perfect weather for us. Sunny and warm, with complete cloud cover! Dad knows we are coming, so he is off work this week for my visit. I am very worried though, so much has changed, and my cover story is about to expire as I should have graduated by now. That is the reason for my visit back home, well the main reason.

The rest of the Cullens are going to their house, but Alice is going with me to see Charlie.......

I knock on the door.

My dad opened it "Bells? You could have just walked in."

"Yeah, well I have been away for a while, and since I didn't say exactly when we were getting in I didn't want to walk in on you in your drawers or anything!" Alice sinckered behind me.

"Oh, Bella! You know I am not a walk around the house in my drawers guy!" He smiled and hugged me. He flinched when he felt how cold and hard I was. "Yeah, about that Dad......" I began. I looked at Alice. She nodded then said "Hi Charlie! How about we have a seat in the living room? Bella has some stuff to tell you."

My Dad looked back and forth to Alice and I then turned and gestured for us to go first. Once we were all seated I took a deep breath, fire, then began. "Dad, I have not been completely honest with you, and have hidden the truth from you. I am going to come clean now and hope you can accept it, because I am really putting myself out on a limb here......"

He looked at Alice's hand in mine then jumped to the wrong conclusion "Bella? Are you gay? Is that what this is about? I am shocked, but really I still love you, nothing can change that....."

Alice laughed "No Dad! I am not gay! But if I was Alice would be the one!" Alice gasped and socked me. I just laughed.

"Well I am glad to hear you say nothing would change the fact that you love me, but what I am about to tell you is a doozy, you will probably not believe me at first, but I will prove it, and hope you can abide by the rules."

"Bella, out with it, what is it? And what Rules?!?"

"Well Dad, what I am about to tell you is a secret. A secret people have been killed to protect, this is for real, and you cannot tell anyone what I am about to tell you. Your life depends on it, and I could not bear it if telling you the truth cost you your life. Can you promise to keep this secret?"

"Well I don't know if I can promise if I don't know what it is. Are you in some kind of trouble? Is the government involved? We can go to the newspapers, expose this conspiracy!"

"No Dad, I am not in trouble, but there are things going on that I want to share with you but they require discretion."

My Dad took a deep breath, looked at Alice who nodded then back to me. "OK, so long as you aren't involved in anything illegal or in trouble, I will keep this secret. So long as it continues to be in your best interest! I am not going to keep a secret that will hurt you!"

Just then there was a knock on the door. "Hang on! I'm coming!" My dad jumped up. It was Billy Black and Jacob, and Sam Uley.

They froze in the door. "OH, for crying out loud grow a pair and come in we won't hurt you!" I shouted. Jacob walked in quickly and I got up and hugged him.

"Jared smelled, well you know, and we came to make sure he was OK, didn't know it was you..." Jacob said quietly.

Billy and Sam stayed on the porch. I walked over. "Well don't be rude! Come in! You will want to be here for this anyway. I have been given permission to tell my Dad everything. If you wanna share, fine, or not, that is not my business, you do what you want!"

Charlie looked back and forth at everyone, now more confused than ever.

We all sat back down and the wolves stayed standing just inside the doorway. Billy rolled up next to my Dad in the spot reserved for when he was over watching the big games.

I recapped for the new arrivals "So I just told my Dad, this is a secret, and he has to promise to keep it forever and not talk to anyone about it. Dad, don't be mad, but Billy knows, but for reasons that are complicated he had to keep it a secret. Don't be mad, he did it to protect you." I could see Charlie struggling with what I kept beating around the bush about. At least the wolves showing up explained how Alice's vision would not show the outcome of the conversation. She was afraid that meant he was going to take it badly, but the wolves arrival made me much more hopeful.

"Dad, I am not human anymore, I am a Vampire." My dad looked shocked. "Awwww, c'mon Bells? You don't expect me to buy that do you? I thought you were going to be honest, is this the best you could come up with?"

At vampire speed I got up and stood next to him. He jumped in his seat and gasped. "Bella!" Just as fast I sat down. Alice left the room at vampire speed and returned with a sixpack of vitamin R. opening one and handing it to him.

"Uh, thanks Alice....." My dad said reflexively.

"Yes Dad, the Cullens are all Vampires too. That is why Billy could not tell you. His people have a treaty with the Cullens, they are forbidden to tell the palefaces the truth, and in exchange the Cullens will not go onto Quillute lands. Plus, there is a Vampire government that protects the secret and will not allow humanity in general to know of our existence. I work as a part of that organization now. I chose this life Dad, this has made me very happy, I hope you will still love me, and accept my choices."

My Dad was still visibly shaken. He took another long swig of his second beer. "So you drink blood? And crosses, and coffins and all that?!?" He asked.

"Myth" Alice and I said together. "Well the drinking blood thing is real. But some of us like all of the Cullens respect human life, and only drink animal blood. Alice likes deer, Emmett the big scary one likes grizzly, and my Mate Edward likes Mountain Lion." I realized after it was out of my mouth I had just slipped BIG! I paused hoping he didn't catch it.

"YOUR MATE?!?" My father had now recovered his normal breathing. "Yes Dad, I knew for some time that Edward was what he was, and I love him with all my heart. We were married last year. And just so you know, Vampires mate for life, I am never going to change my mind about him. We plan on having a human wedding this summer, so you and Mom can see me married too. It would not have been safe for you to be at my Vampire wedding. There were too many of our kind there who do not revere humans the way the rest of the Cullens do. I am sorry about that." I noticed Jake in the mirror behind my Dad. I expected him to be upset by my decision, but he was fine, he even looked happy.

He noticed me looking and whispered "I imprinted Bella, you are going to love her, her name is Vanessa. I call her Ness for short." I smiled at him. I was so happy, now he had someone too! I was going to grill him later about that!

My Dad's curiosity finally got the better of him. "So Sunlight? Tell me everything!"

Alice and I sat there and explained answering all of his questions. He really wanted to see the sunlight thing, so Alice looked into the future, and we made plans to go into the backyard later this afternoon the sun would peek out of the clouds and there was a brief window when nobody would notice we could go back there and show my dad the sun on our faces. I told him about my honeymoon, and sharks, and how beautiful Isle Esme was, and how blissfully happy I was. After all said and done, that was the big thing, he was worried that I be happy.

I told him I was now that I did not have to keep secrets.

Then Billy spilled the beans. Charlie was just speechless when Jake walked out of the Kitchen naked, and phased.

I didn't look, ewww! But after he phased I walked up to him and was amazed at how HUGE he was as a wolf! He was as big as a moose! His head touched the ceiling. I scratched behind his ear, like he was a real dog.... He laughed. That was funny to hear a giant wolf laugh.

He walked back into the kitchen and phased back and got dressed. Charlie was on his fourth beer and I stopped him and asked if he wanted me to cook him some lunch. He looked at the clock and I cooked him grilled cheese and tuna sandwiches. His favorite. He asked if I could eat human food. I told him "No, I could eat it.... But I would have to spit it up later. It would just sit in my stomach and rot, it would be nasty. Blood is the only thing we can metabolize. And as gross as it sounds to our taste buds blood is it. But I can't be talking about blood, and thinking about feeding around you Dad, although you are mostly safe around me, I do have to be careful. Imagine that sandwich in front of you. If you had to look at it and smell it, but could not eat it. Now multiply that by 100 and then you will understand how our thirst works.

After lunch Alice and I went out in the back yard with My Dad and the wolves and Billy and as the sun broke through the clouds we did our sparkly thing. Jake said "WoW, Freaky Bella!" I smiled at that my Dad said "Beautiful, but I understand now why the Cullens would all go camping when it was sunny out! That glitter makeup the girls are wearing nowadays would not explain that shimmer...."

Alice and I gave Charlie a hug then said we would be back, "I want to go see Edward, and Alice and I have a shopping date I believe."

I sprung that on Alice, she started dancing and hopping. Sweet little pixie! My Dad looked over at her "What has gotten into Alice?"

"Well, you see, Alice has another kind of thirst, it is for clothes! She is a shopaholic!"

We left with everyone chuckling behind us.

We pulled into the driveway, the house was all cleaned up now, and I walked in to the music room to find my sweatheart. There he was playing my song. When he finished I walked over and snatched him off the bench and hugged him. "It went really well! The wolves showed up and played nice, and they came out of the closet too! So my Charlie is up to speed. Alice looked and said he is fine. She called Aro and told him the good news, so all is well. I know it was a huge risk, but I am going to lose him in a few years to old age and I wanted us to have what ever time is left us to be honest time."

Edward hugged me. "Yeah, I have a confession. I was just down the street listening to his thoughts in case he freaked so I could warn Alice." I laughed "I should have known. Thanks for looking out for him Edward. Now I am sorry, but I promised Alice a shopping date. I am going to go ask Rose if she wants to come too."

I left the room to search for Rosalie. I found her in the garden with Esme pruning the rose bushes and selecting some buds and putting them in a vase. "So Rose you wanna come with me and Alice to the Mall? You can come along too if you want Mom." Rose said "Sure why not" Esme said "No, I want to get this garden back into shape it has about gone wild without me looking after it, you girls go and have fun!"

We went out front where we knew we would find Alice waiting impatiently for us to join her. She was sitting in Emmett's Jeep and had his little trailer hooked up to it......... Yup! She was going to get a call about the huge shopping spree from the credit card company. Last time she brought a trailer about an hour in American Express called about the shopping spree on her Black card. She would approve it, and we would continue on....... I just shook my head..... My Alice...... Edward, Jasper and Emmett were all sitting on the porch. "Have fun girls!" They called in unison. We just smiled and waved. Like we would ever not have fun at a mall! But of course Alice always pushed us to our limits and beyond it was still so much fun to see her excitement when she would find something unique.

We pulled up to the mall in Port Angeles. Alice parked close to the main entrance. We walked in just before the sun poked out of the clouds. "Perfect timing Alice!" I said. We walked to towards Nordstrom when something hit me from behind.

I turned and there was Lauren, Jessica and a couple of girls I didn't know. "Bella you bitch! What are you doing here? Looking to steal someone else's boyfriend?" Lauren spat.

"Lauren what are you talking about?"

"Well, because of you Tyler broke up with me, he said he was waiting till you came back from being a foreign exchange student then you two were going to be together!"

"Well, I am with Edward Cullen, so I have no Idea what he is talking about, he is just delusional..." Then I said something I shouldn't have "Or maybe he was just tired of having a stark raving C**T for a girlfriend!"

She jumped at me and was pulling my hair. I let myself be pushed to the ground, since Lauren was bigger than I am she would be stronger than me as a human. As Alice and Rosalie were trying to pull her off without hurting her. Her friends including Jessica jumped them. Rose must have taken boxing lessons from Emmett. She kicked their butts! Of course she pulled her punches, she did not want to make anyone's nose bleed, or kill anyone, but she gave them all black eyes and a couple of bruises.

Security showed up and grabbed the girls and took us all to the security office. The manager came in and said. "We have you all on camera fighting. We cannot allow that kind of Behavior. I am afraid I am going to have to ban you all from this mall for life!"

Alice Shrieked "NO! It was them they started it! We were just coming to shop! We were not looking for trouble! Can't you please just kick THEM out?"

The manager said. "We have it on camera, and I know they started it but....." Alice interrupted him, she put her hand up as she dialed her cell phone. "Hello, Alice Cullen for John Wise please. Yes I'll hold." The security manager looked nervous now. I was wondering what was going on. Then I remembered the name on the mall. Wisetown Mall. (A/N:Just totally made this all up, I have no clue so go with it.)

"Hi John! How have you been? Yes they're all doing very well. How's Cindy and the Girls? Oh, that is wonderful you must be very proud....... Yes, well I am calling I am afraid we had a little bit of a problem at the mall......... Yes, we are in the security office........ No, we are fine, nothing like that........ We were assaulted by some girls we used to go to school with.........No we are fine....... but your manager here" She read his name tag. "Michael Moore, is telling us we need to be barred for life!.......Yes, please? Could you?......... nice talking to you, Give Cindy and the girls my love!"

The phone on the desk was ringing. The manager looked at it nervously then picked it up. "Hello, security office........Yes Sir, that is correct...........No sir, I agree, it would be unfair to hold the victims of an assault responsible for getting attacked in our mall........ Yes sir, we should have responded faster........ No sir it will not happen again.......... Yes sir, however she wants to handle it.......... No sir the police have not been called yet..........Thank you sir, you will have my report when we have finished here." he placed the phone on the desk.

"I am so sorry Ms. Cullen, I had no Idea who you were. Had I known you were one of the owners of this mall, I would have, should have handled this differently. I assumed this was just some gang problem, I apologize I did not know who you were. Would you like us to call the police, do you want to press charges against these girls for attacking you?"

At the mention of charges and arrest Lauren, Jessica and her friends looked very small and nervous.

Alice looked at me. I shook my head. "No, I believe this was just a misunderstanding. If the girls will sign a release I believe we will drop this. As for banning them for life, I think I am willing to let that go so long as they agree to conduct themselves in a more ladylike manner from now on?"

Jessica was very nervous "Yes! We promise! I didn't mean any thing, this just got out of hand. I am soooo sorry!" Lauren looked nervous too. "Yes, same for me." The other girls just nodded and looked scared.

"Very well then, Here are some icepacks for you girls I suggest you go home and rest and keep ice on those black eyes it will keep the swelling down." The girls almost in unison said "Yes sir, thank you we will leave now, and are sorry for causing trouble."

They got up and left the security office. "One last thing Mr. Moore? I would like a copy of that tape for my records, and do not think you are in any trouble here. You did your job, and I appreciate your dedication. It was impossible for you to know who I was. I am a silent partner here. Mr Wise is the owner, I only have a part interest from investing in this mall. My father made a huge loan from my trust fund to Mr. Wise when he wanted to expand it. Since I live close, and love to shop I wanted him to make this mall really huge. It so happened it was a good investment and we both profited greatly from the expansion 4 years ago. Have a nice day!"

We left the mall office. After we were out of earshot and safely in Nordstorm's shoe department. Alice handed Rose the tape. "Here, Emmett is going to love watching you go all Marquis De Queensbury on those girls!"

We laughed and got down to our serious business. Now I am not a shoe person, but I saw some shoes that were just calling my name! When I saw them the sky opened up, the angels sang, and the light of god shone down upon them. I had to have them. I had already formulated a plan. Those shoes, and some lingerie and Edward was going to be tightly wrapped around my little finger tonight! I had designs on one of the sister islands to Isle Esme! Tonight I was going to get it!

Alice giggled. "Not like you thought Bella, he already got it for you, I was not going to say anything, but you will be doing the heels and lingerie to thank him not coerce him!" I laughed too "Works for me!"

I began wondering...... "So Alice, do you suppose......?"

She laughed and Rose Joined in realizing what we were discussing.

"Yeah, Bella, Edward has already had Esme working on it! You are getting your own tree house/cliff top getaway! Edward knows you, you make it too easy for him to figure you out you know? A girl is supposed to keep their man guessing you know!" Rosalie laughed. "I saw the plans, you are going to love it! But don't let on that I let the cat out of the bag. You guys are going there tonight. Edward is going to, he thinks, surprise you!"

I was so excited now, I think I out shopped Alice. I bought swimsuits, and every frilly french thing they had in the store I think. I didn't know how to wear some of it I had to ask the sales girl how all of it worked!

The mall was closing and the store pulled most of their employees off the sales floor to help carry our purchases to the trailer. The sales girl who started helping us and followed us through the store answering all our questions, she was really sweet! Her name was Kaci, she was very helpful! She said after we were all loaded and the other employees returned to close up "You guys were awesome! I have never seen anyone shop like that before in my LIFE! I just wanted to thank you guys, I work on commission, and you guys just paid my tuition for college! We aren't really supposed to talk about that, but I really hope you enjoyed your shopping experience, and thank you from the bottom of my heart, I know I did! Here is my card. Please call me any time you need help. If you ever want to check if something is in, or if you need to special order anything please don't hesitate to call. I would do the same for any of my other customers of course, but It will be a very sincere pleasure to help you guys again!"

Alice hugged her. "Thanks Kaci! I am not sure how much longer we will be in town, but you can count on it! You are the only salesperson we have ever had who could keep up with us!"

We got in the car and headed home. I looked forward to my second honeymoon, when I think about how reluctant Edward was to change me, I wanna just sock him. I am so happy now in this life, my only regret is it was not him or Alice who changed me. I leaned over and rested my head on Alice's shoulder and hugged her as she drove back to forks. "Thank you Alice! I don't think I ever thanked you for making my whole new life possible!, I suppose I owe you too Rosalie! You kinda had a hand in getting me changed, this may not have been the life you chose for yourself, but you have to admit, lots of people have it worse right?"

She smiled up at me in the front seat. "Yeah, I guess I should just get over it already! I am pretty happy!

We rode the rest of the way home in silence. Just all shopped out. I looked forward to spending time on my new island.................

A/N: OK, I was going to end it here, but alice my most loyal and sweet reviewer reviewed, so I was inspired to continue! But for those of you who like this story and are just too lazy to review? You need to let me know you want me to continue! This story is getting long, and I don't know, what is too long? When does a short story stop being a short story and become a novel? Do you want a novel? And have you all gone and bought several copies of the books and movie like I commanded? These characters rock. I really love them and it is all due to Stephenie Meyer that I wrote my stories. So buy the books again and give them as gifts to those who have not yet see the light, the sparkley sparkley light!