Chapter 31 – It Scares Me Too
"What do you mean accident?" I asked, standing up.
"I mean there was an accident. I gotta go home."
"What kinda accident?" My stomach dropped to my feet. What if it was Dom? What if he died never knowing that I still loved him, even if he could be an ass?
"Leon crashed the skyline running from the cops." Vince sighed and raked his hair with his hands.
"Is he ok?" Vince just looked at me. "God damn it Vince, is he ok?"
"He's gonna be fine." Vince answered evasively.
"Fine, that's fine, let's go." I made up my mind in that second. One of my team was hurt, one of my family, and I wasn't the type of person that could ignore that. I had to be by his side.
"No Letty, you stay here." Vince told me in that same gentle, calm down, I'm scared you're gonna flip out voice he used on me when Dom smacked me that time.
"Vince, don't you fucken tell me to stay here when Leon's hurt bad enough you can't answer a straight question about how badly hurt he is."
"Letty, he's gonna be fine. You don't need to go home over it when I know you ain't ready. Besides I'm not supposed to know where you are, let alone have spent the last few days here with you."
"So, if I go home it won't matter."
"If you go home you'll never get to leave again. Whether you're with him or not you're his property in his mind and he'll never let you get away again. Take the time you need Letty."
"I can't just sit here and play fun in the sun in Miami while Leon's hurt, then bummed out about Kimi."
"You'n Leon and naming your fucken cars." Vince smiled briefly. "Seriously Lett, he's in the hospital right now but he's gonna be just fine and the Skyline can be rebuilt. You can stay here and I'll call you and tell you all about it then you can talk to him on the phone ok?"
I sat back down heavily. Leon was family and I wanted to go to his side. But Vince was right in a lot of ways. I wasn't ready to go home yet. I just thought I had to. And if I went back I'd never get another chance to leave again. Not to mention I had it pretty good in Miami. I had Brian and a job and there was the small matter of Brian coming home with me when I went. If I left with Vince that would never happen.
"Ok V. I'll stay here for now. But if I find out he's hurt worse then you let on to me I'm gonna kill you when I do get home."
"Fair enough. Besides the car's almost done here. I know you wanna see it to the end."
"I do, but not if it means I'm not around if Leon's really badly hurt Vince."
"It's ok Letty. I swear he's gonna be fine. It'd just look really strange if I told the team I'd rather stay buying stuff for my car then come home after I found out or I'd stay too."
"I understand V. I'll drive you to the airport." I sighed and stood up.
"I can take a taxi." Vince shouldered his bag.
"It's fine. I could use the drive." I snatched up my keys and marched out of the house toward the car. We got in and I started it.
The drive to the airport was mostly silent. Vince was lost in his thoughts of hating to fly and what he was gonna see when he got home and I was lost in guilt of not running to my team's side when one was down.
I parked the car in short term parking at the airport and we got out.
I carried Vince's guitar case into the building as he carried his bag. We walked in and Vince walked up to the counter to check in and check his luggage. Once that was done he headed to the designated waiting area with me on his heels.
We sat down and sat in further silence for a number of minutes. I don't think either one of us knew what to say. Vince broke the silence first.
"I'm sorry I have to run off Lett. I wanted to stay a while longer."
"I wish you weren't leaving because of something like this Vince, but I'll be ok."
"I know you will."
"You better tell me right away if you get home and Leon is in really bad shape, you got it?" I stated, tough Letty fully back in place. "I mean it Vince. No keeping it from me because you think I don't want to know or don't want to come home, you got it?"
"Yeah Letty I got it. I'll tell you if he's really hurt ok?"
"Yeah. They called Vince's flight over the P.A.
"Well, that's me." Vince stood up. I stood up with him. "Take carea yourself kid."
"I will."
"That buster gives you any more hassles you let me know and I'll be back down here to take carea him, ok?"
"I can take carea myself V."
"I know you can Letty, but sometimes you need to lean on somebody, not because you really need their help, but because you need their companionship. Don't forget that."
"I won't." We looked at each other for a moment. They made the final boarding call for his flight.
Like it was a mutual decision we grabbed each other in a tight hug.
"I wish I could tell you to tell them all I miss them." I muttered against his shirt.
"I wish I could tell them you're ok." Vince murmured back.
"Ok, well, you better go." I said, breaking away from the only familiar thing I'd had in my life in weeks.
"Ok, I'll call you as soon as I get home and find anything out ok?"
"I'll be waiting." And with a terse nod Vince was off to get on a plane, which he hated, to go find out just how bad one of his best friends was hurt. And I was left to my own devices wondering the same thing.
I wandered out to my car, got in, paid the attendant and drove off down the road toward the freeway to get home. As soon as I was on the freeway I went into race mode. The only thing I knew of that would take my mind off things and make me feel normal was a fast run.
I dropped a gear and started to pick up speed. Right before I would have hit the car in front of me I swerved out into the outside lane and passed him, rushing up at the car in front of me in my new lane.
Then I swerved back the way I'd gone and rushed up to the next car. I repeated the same pattern over and over and over again, speed, swerve, speed. It was very freeing for me. Then I switched lanes and went to rush up on the next car.
And realized one of the cars I just rushed past in my flight toward the bumper of the one in front of me was a squad car.
Just fucken great!
I darted in and out a few more times and made progress getting away from the wonderful car full of boys in blue who now had their lights on and were trying to run me down. What they didn't know was I was use to running from cops in L.A., where it is much harder to do then it is in Miami. Traffic in Miami is nothing like the traffic in L.A.
I was doing pretty good getting a lead on them. When I went around a bend and got out of their sight I made a few more really quick positioning changes, ended up in the outside lane and took the first off ramp I had the opportunity to use.
So happens it was one that took me onto a side street close to Tej's anyway. I drove home rather sedately, knowing the cops would be looking for a purple 240sx with graphics on the side.
I made it back to Tej's without incident and quickly darted into the garage just in case someone should drive by and see the car. Tomorrow I'd just be yet another 'ricer' who'd been doing stupid stuff on the freeway, but for today I'd be a prize if they caught me. Then a real criminal would steal their focus tonight and they'd forget all about me. It was always the way.
I got out of the car and walked as calmly as I could to my bay to do some work on the car. I picked up a wrench and started tightening up some things. It was like it all hit me in a wave and I sorta flipped out.
The whole thing with Leon getting hurt and with Vince leaving. Brian not being here and Rome thinking I was sleeping with Vince. My flight from the cops on the freeway, and pent up anxiety over the car not being done one time. I slid down the side of the car and sat on the ground leaning against it. I didn't cry, but I wanted to.
I just sat there with my head on my knees and shook. It was all overwhelming to me.
"You ok?" A female voice asked from above me. I tipped my head back and looked up at Fiona.
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Really. So why you shaking?"
God this girl just doesn't quit.
"Well, I had to drive Vince to the airport, one of our friends got hurt back home and Vince had to go home to be with him. I wanted to go but he wouldn't let me because he knows I'm not really ready. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to go home when one of my good friends is in the hospital."
"That sucks. Why don't you go home to visit at least then?"
It must seem so simple to people who haven't entered Dom's gravity field. Just go visit, leave again when you know its ok.
These people don't know how much strength and energy it takes to break that orbit and strike out on your own. I'd managed to do it once. I knew I was right when I thought I couldn't do it again. I mean, Vince had told me not to come home because he'd known the same thing. Dom had this need to control everything in his life.
From a car to the garage to our family and friends Dom had to control it all. I was no different. But it would all be different when I went back. But Vince was right and now was not the time for me to go back.
"Because of how Dom is. If I go back, it doesn't matter why I go back or what I want he'll never let me leave again. Dom's like gravity, he pulls things in and then he refuses to let them go. I got away once, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I'll never get away again. We're all like his property and he doesn't like to let go of things he cares about."
"Wow. Sounds like a real jerk."
"He's not. Not really. It's just how life made him and he does have this magnetic quality. He doesn't even know he's doing it most of the time. He just pulls people in with his ways. I can't even really explain it. He's kinda like an alpha wolf with a pack. We're his pack and he has to take care of us, look out for us, make sure we have a safe place to live and food to eat. And in return he asks us to help feed the pack and run with the pack. It's complicated."
"And this is the guy my brother cared for so much he abandoned his career?"
"Yeah. Only I think the last part had more to do with Mia then Dom. Dom'll never go back to jail. He'll die first. He means that. It'd kill Mia if her older brother who she idolizes more then anything died. Brian had to save her from that. He loves her you know?" I asked looking up.
"I know, and it scares me."
"It scares me to." I answered her and laid my head back down on my knees. "It scares the hell outta me too."
"What do you mean accident?" I asked, standing up.
"I mean there was an accident. I gotta go home."
"What kinda accident?" My stomach dropped to my feet. What if it was Dom? What if he died never knowing that I still loved him, even if he could be an ass?
"Leon crashed the skyline running from the cops." Vince sighed and raked his hair with his hands.
"Is he ok?" Vince just looked at me. "God damn it Vince, is he ok?"
"He's gonna be fine." Vince answered evasively.
"Fine, that's fine, let's go." I made up my mind in that second. One of my team was hurt, one of my family, and I wasn't the type of person that could ignore that. I had to be by his side.
"No Letty, you stay here." Vince told me in that same gentle, calm down, I'm scared you're gonna flip out voice he used on me when Dom smacked me that time.
"Vince, don't you fucken tell me to stay here when Leon's hurt bad enough you can't answer a straight question about how badly hurt he is."
"Letty, he's gonna be fine. You don't need to go home over it when I know you ain't ready. Besides I'm not supposed to know where you are, let alone have spent the last few days here with you."
"So, if I go home it won't matter."
"If you go home you'll never get to leave again. Whether you're with him or not you're his property in his mind and he'll never let you get away again. Take the time you need Letty."
"I can't just sit here and play fun in the sun in Miami while Leon's hurt, then bummed out about Kimi."
"You'n Leon and naming your fucken cars." Vince smiled briefly. "Seriously Lett, he's in the hospital right now but he's gonna be just fine and the Skyline can be rebuilt. You can stay here and I'll call you and tell you all about it then you can talk to him on the phone ok?"
I sat back down heavily. Leon was family and I wanted to go to his side. But Vince was right in a lot of ways. I wasn't ready to go home yet. I just thought I had to. And if I went back I'd never get another chance to leave again. Not to mention I had it pretty good in Miami. I had Brian and a job and there was the small matter of Brian coming home with me when I went. If I left with Vince that would never happen.
"Ok V. I'll stay here for now. But if I find out he's hurt worse then you let on to me I'm gonna kill you when I do get home."
"Fair enough. Besides the car's almost done here. I know you wanna see it to the end."
"I do, but not if it means I'm not around if Leon's really badly hurt Vince."
"It's ok Letty. I swear he's gonna be fine. It'd just look really strange if I told the team I'd rather stay buying stuff for my car then come home after I found out or I'd stay too."
"I understand V. I'll drive you to the airport." I sighed and stood up.
"I can take a taxi." Vince shouldered his bag.
"It's fine. I could use the drive." I snatched up my keys and marched out of the house toward the car. We got in and I started it.
The drive to the airport was mostly silent. Vince was lost in his thoughts of hating to fly and what he was gonna see when he got home and I was lost in guilt of not running to my team's side when one was down.
I parked the car in short term parking at the airport and we got out.
I carried Vince's guitar case into the building as he carried his bag. We walked in and Vince walked up to the counter to check in and check his luggage. Once that was done he headed to the designated waiting area with me on his heels.
We sat down and sat in further silence for a number of minutes. I don't think either one of us knew what to say. Vince broke the silence first.
"I'm sorry I have to run off Lett. I wanted to stay a while longer."
"I wish you weren't leaving because of something like this Vince, but I'll be ok."
"I know you will."
"You better tell me right away if you get home and Leon is in really bad shape, you got it?" I stated, tough Letty fully back in place. "I mean it Vince. No keeping it from me because you think I don't want to know or don't want to come home, you got it?"
"Yeah Letty I got it. I'll tell you if he's really hurt ok?"
"Yeah. They called Vince's flight over the P.A.
"Well, that's me." Vince stood up. I stood up with him. "Take carea yourself kid."
"I will."
"That buster gives you any more hassles you let me know and I'll be back down here to take carea him, ok?"
"I can take carea myself V."
"I know you can Letty, but sometimes you need to lean on somebody, not because you really need their help, but because you need their companionship. Don't forget that."
"I won't." We looked at each other for a moment. They made the final boarding call for his flight.
Like it was a mutual decision we grabbed each other in a tight hug.
"I wish I could tell you to tell them all I miss them." I muttered against his shirt.
"I wish I could tell them you're ok." Vince murmured back.
"Ok, well, you better go." I said, breaking away from the only familiar thing I'd had in my life in weeks.
"Ok, I'll call you as soon as I get home and find anything out ok?"
"I'll be waiting." And with a terse nod Vince was off to get on a plane, which he hated, to go find out just how bad one of his best friends was hurt. And I was left to my own devices wondering the same thing.
I wandered out to my car, got in, paid the attendant and drove off down the road toward the freeway to get home. As soon as I was on the freeway I went into race mode. The only thing I knew of that would take my mind off things and make me feel normal was a fast run.
I dropped a gear and started to pick up speed. Right before I would have hit the car in front of me I swerved out into the outside lane and passed him, rushing up at the car in front of me in my new lane.
Then I swerved back the way I'd gone and rushed up to the next car. I repeated the same pattern over and over and over again, speed, swerve, speed. It was very freeing for me. Then I switched lanes and went to rush up on the next car.
And realized one of the cars I just rushed past in my flight toward the bumper of the one in front of me was a squad car.
Just fucken great!
I darted in and out a few more times and made progress getting away from the wonderful car full of boys in blue who now had their lights on and were trying to run me down. What they didn't know was I was use to running from cops in L.A., where it is much harder to do then it is in Miami. Traffic in Miami is nothing like the traffic in L.A.
I was doing pretty good getting a lead on them. When I went around a bend and got out of their sight I made a few more really quick positioning changes, ended up in the outside lane and took the first off ramp I had the opportunity to use.
So happens it was one that took me onto a side street close to Tej's anyway. I drove home rather sedately, knowing the cops would be looking for a purple 240sx with graphics on the side.
I made it back to Tej's without incident and quickly darted into the garage just in case someone should drive by and see the car. Tomorrow I'd just be yet another 'ricer' who'd been doing stupid stuff on the freeway, but for today I'd be a prize if they caught me. Then a real criminal would steal their focus tonight and they'd forget all about me. It was always the way.
I got out of the car and walked as calmly as I could to my bay to do some work on the car. I picked up a wrench and started tightening up some things. It was like it all hit me in a wave and I sorta flipped out.
The whole thing with Leon getting hurt and with Vince leaving. Brian not being here and Rome thinking I was sleeping with Vince. My flight from the cops on the freeway, and pent up anxiety over the car not being done one time. I slid down the side of the car and sat on the ground leaning against it. I didn't cry, but I wanted to.
I just sat there with my head on my knees and shook. It was all overwhelming to me.
"You ok?" A female voice asked from above me. I tipped my head back and looked up at Fiona.
"Yeah I'm fine."
"Really. So why you shaking?"
God this girl just doesn't quit.
"Well, I had to drive Vince to the airport, one of our friends got hurt back home and Vince had to go home to be with him. I wanted to go but he wouldn't let me because he knows I'm not really ready. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to go home when one of my good friends is in the hospital."
"That sucks. Why don't you go home to visit at least then?"
It must seem so simple to people who haven't entered Dom's gravity field. Just go visit, leave again when you know its ok.
These people don't know how much strength and energy it takes to break that orbit and strike out on your own. I'd managed to do it once. I knew I was right when I thought I couldn't do it again. I mean, Vince had told me not to come home because he'd known the same thing. Dom had this need to control everything in his life.
From a car to the garage to our family and friends Dom had to control it all. I was no different. But it would all be different when I went back. But Vince was right and now was not the time for me to go back.
"Because of how Dom is. If I go back, it doesn't matter why I go back or what I want he'll never let me leave again. Dom's like gravity, he pulls things in and then he refuses to let them go. I got away once, it was the hardest thing I ever did. I'll never get away again. We're all like his property and he doesn't like to let go of things he cares about."
"Wow. Sounds like a real jerk."
"He's not. Not really. It's just how life made him and he does have this magnetic quality. He doesn't even know he's doing it most of the time. He just pulls people in with his ways. I can't even really explain it. He's kinda like an alpha wolf with a pack. We're his pack and he has to take care of us, look out for us, make sure we have a safe place to live and food to eat. And in return he asks us to help feed the pack and run with the pack. It's complicated."
"And this is the guy my brother cared for so much he abandoned his career?"
"Yeah. Only I think the last part had more to do with Mia then Dom. Dom'll never go back to jail. He'll die first. He means that. It'd kill Mia if her older brother who she idolizes more then anything died. Brian had to save her from that. He loves her you know?" I asked looking up.
"I know, and it scares me."
"It scares me to." I answered her and laid my head back down on my knees. "It scares the hell outta me too."