Without a price

Chapter 21

When Emily finally got to her apartment and stopped by her landlord to pay her rent, the only thing she wanted to do was sleep but knew she should go through her mail. She quickly organized the large pile and pulled out the bills that needed to be paid and sent in the mail soon. There didn't seem to be a reason to let her credit rating go down in the process of everything else.

Glancing at the time, Emily realized that if she hurried, she could catch the mail carrier before the day was over. Having one thing done would be a relief to her so that she could tell herself the day wasn't a total waste of time. She did so and then came back, sorting the rest. Half of the pile seemed to be advertisements, which irritated her. So much paper wouldn't be needed if those things didn't get sent in the first place. Then she came to stare at the large manilla envelope.

It was from a cancer research facility she had applied to for medical school before she questioned her choice of career. It wasn't a surprise it would take so long to get to her as the facility was prestigious and had many applicants every year. When she applied she knew well that the chances of her getting in was slim but told herself that she had to try at least.

When she didn't get a response back last month, she admitted defeat and accepted the rejection but maybe she had been too hasty. She couldn't bring herself to open the envelope though, cowardly though it was. She feared rejection but knew it was likely and yet wouldn't know what to do if she got in either. It was an annoying contradiction but it was how she was feeling.

She rose, hoping to find an argument that would logically mean she didn't have to open it but found none. When she was about to reach and open it, a knock on her door sounded. Not sure how she should feel about getting a reprieve in getting her answer, Emily rose and answered the door.

Emily blinked in surprise as she saw it was Sam and Eleanor. She didn't know why Sam should be here. She knew she probably got the address from Jason but that was it. Her and Sam weren't enemies either but still, they had no business with each other. A casual conversation when they ran into each other was the most contact they ever had.

Neither said anything for a few moments before Sam realized she should probably start considering she was the guest. "Hi, can we come in?" She juggled Eleanor awkwardly, showing that she was nervous.

Emily pulled the door open and wide so the request could be met. "Have a seat," Emily invited Sam as Sam walked through the door. Emily closed the door behind her as Sam took a seat on the couch.

"Thanks," Sam muttered, rearranging Eleanor so she could lean against Sam's chest. "I know this is unexpected."

"Yeah, that's a good term to use." Emily answered, unable to deny the discomfort she was feeling. "So, how can I help you?"

"Well, I was talking to Jason and saw that he researched Eleanor" Sam started, staring at Eleanor while she looked around at her surroundings. "Which prompted my curiosity and one would think some anger too." Sam, in fact, was not angry. In theory, she should be but she wasn't which led Sam to believe that she was too shocked at Jason's conclusion to prompt the emotion.

"Jason was misguided when he started the investigation." Emily commented, feeling that that was one thing they could agree with.

"Yes, that's true." Sam responded. "But nonetheless, he made a most interesting conclusion."

"A most interesting conclusion that is incorrect despite what Eleanor's biological mother said." Emily corrected her.

This shook Sam out of her numbed state of mind. "Really? So Eleanor is not your cousin?"

"No, she isn't so you don't need to worry about any claim to your daughter I might make up." Emily verified.

"Then why did Eleanor's mother lie?" Sam asked. It was not surprising that she would lie, indeed, everyone has told a little white lie here and there but to lie about something this serious was shocking.

Emily would rephrase the question as "continue to lie" because she felt Eleanor's practically convinced herself it was in fact true. However, the problem was that there was no solid evidence of such a claim and Emily doubted any would ever be found. "I don't know," Emily answered truthfully. "She took that explanation to her grave."

Unable to dispute that, Sam conceded the question's answer was forever lost. "I guess, but that doesn't explain why Eleanor isn't your cousin. What piece of evidence says he isn't?"

Emily hoped she wouldn't ask that but admitted Sam did have a right to know. Still, it was awkward trying to explain the evidence. "My uncle wasn't into women." Emily replied, deciding to stick to the barest of details.

Sam was expecting some test results, a blood type contradiction, something biological, not a sexual orientation explanation. "That does seem to be strong evidence." Sam admitted. "Did that bother you?" Sam asked curiously. She heard from the media and from people that did and they all had different opinions. To be related to a homosexual was different though, a more present issue.

Emily said nothing for a moment. "No, not really. I mean when I caught him kissing another guy when I was taught that it was to be a woman, I got confused for a little while." Emily admitted.

"That must have been awkward," Sam replied.

"It was. You know the quote that said 'the fog was so thick you could cut it with a knife'? It applied there and for what felt like minutes, I just stared at Vincent, trying to figure out what I had walked into. Luckily, he explained to me there was two types of relationships: homosexual and heterosexual. After that though, I just shrugged it off and accepted it." Emily explained. It had been one of Emily's earliest memories and although a weird one, one she treasured. It reminded her of a time when she didn't feel so alone.

Sam smiled, looking down at Eleanor who was snuggling against her, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. "When we're younger it's easier to accept things like that but when we're older, it seems like we are just so jaded that if we rethink our views it's a crime."

"Yeah, and the older you get it seems the more narrow minded you become. Change becomes harder." Emily agreed, adding to Sam's observation.

"And yet the more it's needed. I know this is premature but I sit there and think about what kind of person I'll be when Eleanor grows up and has kids of her own, if she does." Sam shook her head, pushing away the thoughts. "There are so many scenarios that could happen."

"A lot can happen in that time duration" Emily told Sam, even though she knew Sam knew that. "The future is the most scared time sense because of it and I'm sure Nell's case is no different."

Sam was nodding until she heard Emily's second sentence. "Nell?" Sam repeated, growing more confused as Eleanor looked up at her, stopping her squirming. "Is that what her mother called her?"

"Yeah, apparently it's a nickname she gave Eleanor. I never thought too much about its significance but Eleanor seems to like the name." Emily said, motioning to Eleanor.

"Thank you" Sam answered, surprising Emily. "I've been thinking for days how I go by a nickname. I mean, no one calls me Samantha and I got used to that but then one night I woke and realized that Eleanor didn't have one. And now she does." Sam had a genuine smile on her face as she said this.

Emily nodded in response, leaving that mystery to another day. To her it wasn't that special but to Sam maybe it was and she would have to accept that. Everyone had different values.

Sam looked at Emily before speaking again, wondering if she had the right to ask what was on her mind. "Do you like your uncle then?" Sam asked, previously catching Emily's tone.

Emily looked at Sam, surprised at the question. "I don't know." Emily told her, going on to explain. "I've been thinking about that a lot but I don't have an answer yet and I'm not sure if I ever will." Emily paused, once she realized nobody but the police department and her knew he was…gone. Sam took the silence for something else though and sought to apologize.

"I'm sorry, that was pretty forward of me." Sam said. "I just never really had an uncle. It makes me curious what others were like."

"Then I suggest you look for another example because I never really considered him an uncle. To me, the term was some sort of title that has to be earned and he never did but I guess the term is easier to say 'my father's older brother'" Emily replied.

"That could be why the term was coined." Sam agreed. The silence stretched. "I guess I should go. Eleanor's naptime is near but I'm sure we'll run into each other again." She picked up the diaper bag and then stopped again before making her way to the front door. "Uh, me and Jason got back together."

If Emily was surprised, it didn't show. "That's good. You compliment each other."

Sam laughed nervously. "Yeah, we do, don't we?" Another pause came as Sam was building up the courage to ask a question. "Look, if Jason and I were to go to dinner one night without Eleanor, would you mind babysitting?" Emily was significantly surprised with this question. "Eleanor seems to like you and you have experience with children through Michael." Sam felt she needed to justify the suggestion.

Emily nodded. "That'd be nice." Sam smiled, taking a deep breath. She had been worried that wouldn't go off so well. The uncle question was one thing but the babysitting thing after the fiasco Emily had probably worked so hard to fix. Feeling she was going to say something else that may not go off well next though, Sam decided to retreat. "I'll be in contact then."

When Sam was gone, Emily was left alone with the untouched envelope. She turned away from it though, feeling decidedly unwell. It had hit her near the end of her and Sam's conversation so when she was silent and stuck to short phrases, it wasn't Sam's fault. It was her keeping the ill feeling in check. The last thing she needed was Jason worrying about her health because assuredly Sam would have told him. She would have told him with good intentions of course but Emily didn't want to deal with that.

After all, her dizziness, lack of attention, and migraine were more due to lack of sleep, food, and a very stressful day than anything serious. But most of all, she hoped sleep would allow her to take a break from her current situation. She'd figure it out and connect the dots later.

Author's note: It's hard to believe that I finally finished this chapter. It's actually been on my computer for half a year but between school and writer's block, it had to come together in small parts. Well, if anyone is still reading this story I hope you enjoy it. There should be another chapter and I'm thinking of doing a sequel to this story. If you have any thoughts on the chapter, proposed sequel, and the last chapter feel free to review or contact me.