Wings

By Yuki

Author's note: Oooh, I am so sorry that it took me this long to post the update. I had been really busy with work these past few months. Anyway, I promise to try and update as often as I could. Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews. I really, really do appreciate them. Makes me believe in this story even if it's still very much in a "construction" sort of phase. LOL. My many thanks and much hugs to my wonderful beta-reader, kawaii sakura! Again: If somehow, there seems to be some odd grammar mistake or plot hole, any inconsistencies at all, that would be entirely my fault, for being so stubborn and not correcting them as they should have been.

Wings

Chapter 4

Lunch was uneventful, at least it was until his mother showed up.

Touya was taking a sip of water when she appeared in a seat across from him. When he looked up and saw her, Touya actually dropped the half filled glass on the floor.

She was looking at him with those piercing green eyes, the same familiar, comforting eyes his sister had inherited and the glass simply slipped from fingers that had suddenly gone ice cold. It hit the floor with enough force for it to shatter into a hundred pieces. Touya jumped back in surprise and within seconds, the carpet was soaked and bits and pieces of the glass swam on the clear water.

He stared at the mess for a few seconds and in that brief moment of confusion and disbelief, he wasn't quite sure where he was or what his name was. The only thing he knew was his mother's smile, his mother's eyes, her presence so achingly familiar…

Touya blinked. He felt like he was inside a dream. Everything around him was hazy, except for the mess on the floor which was looked too real, too sharp and too vivid. He felt as though the world had tipped over and instead of looking at the floor, he was staring at the dark sky dotted with tiny, jagged little white stars.

The practical part of his mind was silently thankful that it was just water he had spilled. If he had been holding a cup of coffee or a glass of red wine, it would've left a magnificent stain on their carpet. But carpet stains were the least of Touya's worries.

He forced himself to look up again, half expecting and half dreading to see an empty seat. If that had been the case, he would have sighed and blamed it on a restless, sleepless night. He was seeing things, imagining that he could still see his mother.

But that, clearly, wasn't the case. His mother was still there, hands clasped on top of the table, sitting quiet and serene, right across from him, waiting for her oldest child to collect himself.

His mother was there.

His dead mother.

He could see her again!

Touya could feel his heart pounding frantically inside his chest, banging hard against his rib cage. He had to swallow several times before he could even speak and when he finally did say something, his voice was so low, so hoarse, it sounded so foreign even to his own ears. "Okaasan."

It was much of a question rather a statement or a greeting.

His mother remained silent, gently tilting her head, looking at him with affection.

Touya slowly shook his head. "I must be dreaming." He mumbled. He hadn't seen his mother since he had given up his powers for Yue and Yukito.

Touya made a face. True, he had been feeling small flashes of his power lately, but it was just and had always been something sort of shadow, mere remnants of his abilities.Besides he knew for a fact that they hadn't returned his magic, and Yue would've said something. Even if he hadn't (Yue never did pay him much attention anyway) Yukito or Sakura or even the plushie toy (all smug about it too!) would've let him know…

"But how…" He began, suddenly feeling anxious. Had something happen to Yue? To Yukito? He was just about to ask when Nadeshiko slowly shook her head and somehow that one small, simple gesture erased all of his worries.

Nothing bad had happened to Yue. Yukito was safe. If something had happened, he would've felt it, even without his powers… but, why was he suddenly seeing his mother again after such a long time?

"I fancied a visit." Nadeshioko finally said, smiling at him, as though it was a perfectly logical, perfectly sound reason why she was there. The smiled reached out and touched his heart and Touya found himself slowly grinning, like a little boy suddenly solving a precious mystery.

He couldn't remember how many times he had wished to see her once again, how often he had hoped and dreamed, and now that she was here, in front of him...he could just reach out and…"Okaasan, I… I've missed you." He finally said his voice rough with emotion.

"I've missed you too, Touya." His mother replied, her voice delicate and clear, just as he had remembered it.

He wanted to do, to say so many things, all at the same time but the first words out of his mouth were strings of almost incoherent apologies: "I'm sorry, I had to… I had to give up seeing you… I…it's the only way. I couldn't… I didn't want to lose… Sakura and Yukito and…" Touya paused and took a deep breath, composing himself. "But how come I can see your again?" He asked, frowning in confusion.

"Your sister helped. Or at least your other sister." Nadeshiko told him.

Touya blinked, not sure whether he had heard his mother right. "My other what?"

Nadeshiko nodded. "She's searching for her memories."

Touya tilted his head, frowning. "Who is searching for her memories, mother?"

"Sakura." Nadeshiko answered, with a prim nod of her head.

"She lost her memories?" Touya asked, raw panic rising from the very depths of his heart. "Is she… did something bad happened to her? Just now?"

Nadeshiko frowned slightly and then her expression cleared and she elegantly shrugged her shoulder. "You could say that."

His whole body turned into a block of ice and for a moment and there was a loud, buzzing noise inside his head. Lost her memories? Touya tried to make out what that meant. Memories? Like amnesia? "Is she in a coma?" He asked, barely noticing that his mother was far from panicking, far from looking worried at all, in fact. All he could think of at that moment was the phone. He had to call Yukito and Tomoyo. Their father too. He had to get a plane ticket to China, his sister would be looking for him, expecting him to there for her. He had to call… "I have to call the Gaki in China!" Touya exclaimed, almost leaping out of the room, frantic to get to the phone.

"China?" His mother asked in confusion, frowning at him, stopping him dead in his tracks. "But she's here, Touya." She informed him calmly.

What? Touya's panic was quickly shrinking, replaced by an even greater feeling of utter confusion. "No…" he said slowly. "Sakura is with the Gaki, in China, they're visiting the Brat's relatives and…"

Nadeshiko's eyes lit up and she beamed at him, her smile like the rays of summer sunshine. "Oh, yes, visiting the in-laws."

"Okaasan!" Touya gasped, taking a step back. "Don't say that!"

His mother merely chuckled at him. "Touya, really, you sound like a disgruntled father. Your father doesn't mind."

"Well he should." He said trying his best not to sound like a pouting child. The conversation seemed to be looping and twisting into several dozen knots, and he was quickly losing track of what they were talking about. "Is Sakura alright?" He asked firmly.

Thankfully, she seemed to have sensed his worry and immediately reassured him. "My little Sakura is fine," Nadeshiko replied, and Touya let out a huge sigh of relief.

His sister was fine. Nothing bad had happened to her. He didn't have to kill the Gaki…yet…

"It's the other Sakura that I'm worried about." Nadeshiko told him, sounding upset.

"I'm getting a headache." Touya mumbled, sitting down and clutching his forehead, which was beginning to throb.

"Oh, Touya," His mother scolded gently. "Do pay attention."

Touya made a face and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mother. It's just…" he helplessly waved his in hands in the air, "this is all very confusing."

His mother leaned forward and bit her lip. "You don't know where her memory is, do you?"

Touya blinked. And they were back to memories again. Could his mother be speaking in riddles? Nadeshiko had told him a lot of things… but sometimes, she wanted him to find out for himself, because it taught him to hone his skills, his senses. Maybe this was one of those instances. "Well," Touya began carefully, chewing his lips, trying to decide what the best answer would be. Maybe if he answered the riddle correctly, his mother would finally tell him something that would make sense. "Are we talking of long-term or short-term memories here?"

His mother paused, silently deliberating. "Both!" She exclaimed.

Touya remembered a science lesson they had years ago. "Uh, memories are stored inside the brains?"

His mother tutted.

That was expected. Touya tried once again, this time trying to think like Yuki – he always had the most unexpected and therefore, the correct (at least as far as his mother's riddles were concerned) answer.

"Her memories are inside her heart?"

Nadeshiko smiled fondly at him. "That's sweet, Touya. But try harder." His mother advised him. "She needs them, you know."

"Can't you give me a hint?" Touya asked. "I really have no idea, okassan."

"But you should." His mother insisted, suddenly looking very anxious. "They're flighty, delicate little things and she's been looking for them ever since she lost them."

Touya wished there was a way to understand what his mother was talking about. If he could just find a way to subtly get the answer from her. "Memories look like that?" He asked, eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Well, memories are different for each people, you know. Yours are crisp, brown autumn leaves." She informed him.

Touya blinked. Well, that was certainly helpful. "I give up!"

"Oh, but you shouldn't, Touya! If you do, she'd be very, very sad and lonely."

"But… okaasan!" He sputtered in frustration. This conversation was clearly heading nowhere or at least nowhere near sane. Touya wondered why he was having such a bizarre conversation with his mother. This wasn't what he had planned on talking to her about when he finally got to see her again. "Maybe you could help me out." He said, trying one last time. "Is there something that I need to do?"

But Nadeshiko seemed to have forgotten about lost memories. She simply smiled at him and reached out to pat his hand. He could feel a rush of warm air around him, as though she had hugged him, even though she remained seated.

"Oh, forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you." She said, squeezing his fingers gently. "Don't worry, I trust that you'll make the right decision." She regarded him affectionately, her pride and confidence in him evident in the way her eyes sparkled. "You always make the right choices…" and then Nadeshiko paused and giggled softly. "Well, no, not always."

"Not always?" Touya asked, slightly offended. His mother laughed a little harder.

"You shouldn't be so hard on Sakura and Syaoran." She told him, sounding quite amused.

Touya couldn't believe that he was hearing this from his mother as well. He was very close to pouting as he crossed his arms across his chest. No one else seemed to care that the Hong Kong kid was stealing Sakura away from them. Not his father, not Tomoyo, not Yukito. Even the stuffed animal and Yue and the cards didn't seem to care either, and Sakura was their entire world! Touya let out a derisive little snort.

"You're going to have to give her away, someday." Nadeshiko said, effectively derailing his train of thought.

"Not to that Brat." Touya answered almost immediately and with startling conviction.

"Oh, Touya." Nadeshiko gently shook her head, "You already made that choice."

"I don't think so." Touya replied, this time not able to help keep the annoyance out of his voice. The one time he could talk to his mother, they had to discuss that Gaki. "I think I'd remember something like that." He insisted huffily.

His mother didn't seem to hear him or wasn't at all listening. "You made the right choice." She said, her eyes locked at some point, some corner just beyond Touya's shoulder.

Touya opened his mouth to protest, but his mother suddenly stood up, glancing at the framed photo of Syaoran and Sakura. "It would be difficult for you, for Sakura too, and Syaoran as well," She sighed and then turned her attention back to him, her eyes bright and alight with some secret knowledge that Touya wished she could share with him. "But everything will be alright, I promise you that."

"Okaasan…" He began, wanting to go back to talking about lost memories. It seemed important. His mother wouldn't have come if it weren't.

"My, quite a mess you have there!" His mother suddenly exclaimed.

Touya turned his head towards the direction his mother had pointed, seeing the almost dried patch of carpet, still shining with the shards of glass. "Extra chores, oh, I've got loads." He mumbled quietly to himself. When he turned his attention back to his mother, just as he had suspected, she was gone.

Touya sighed, closed his eyes and leaned back against the chair. Lost memories. How could anyone lose their memories? Maybe she meant lost minds? Because Touya felt like he was starting to really lose his.

He was going insane and it was all because of that stupid Gaki and the stupid trip to China and the stupid conspiracy to take his sister away from him. Even his mother was on it! He pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing silently, counting one to ten. Kaho had once tried to teach him how to meditate. He didn't like it. Bored him to tears actually. But he would often use some of the techniques she taught him on how to calm himself.

Kaho had always commented that he was such a whirling, dark storm and he needed to find his center, or else he'd just whiz by everyone without a care. He had liked it when Kaho told him that. Although now, he wasn't so sure if it was a compliment…

After a few minutes Touya finally opened his eyes, feeling quite groggy. Like he had just fallen asleep. Maybe he had?

Had he?

Frowning, he glanced at the small darkened portion of the carpet and the broken pieces of glasses surrounding it. He tilted his head and grimaced at the small dried up puddle on the floor.

What the hell...where did the mess come from?

He tried to remember, but he couldn't. Obviously, he must've dropped the glass, but he couldn't remember dropping it. He couldn't remember anything that had happened right after he had said goodbye to Yukito. He was supposed to wash the dishes but… he turned his head towards the sink.

The dishes had been washed already.

But when?

His head started to pound once more, like there were a thousand hammers hammering against, inside, all over his skull.

Touya headed towards the medicine cabinet. Get some aspirin and then clean up the mess. That was what he needed to do. And then he'd call Sakura and check up on her. He had a feeling that something strange was going on.

He took a deep breath and not for the first time, wished that he could talk to his mother.

If there was one person who could help him out, it would be her.

----- -----

Exhaustion finally settled in on him and Syaoran fell asleep. When he woke up, she was kneeling in front of him, watching him with expectant eyes. He bolted up right, "I'm sorry, I fell asleep princess."

"It's okay. You looked so tired I didn't want to wake you up." She smiled brightly and Syoaran gingerly sat up, feeling some of the soreness of his muscles throb. It wasn't so painful that he couldn't deal with it but mostly, the reason why he could barely feel the stinging and the throbbing was because of her smile.

Like the most gentle balm to his most painful wounds.

Shaking his head, trying to rid of these thoughts that would constantly filter through his head, Syaoran looked around them, taking in the smallness of the room. The windows were boarded up, so he didn't know how long he had been asleep, but there were a few holes and gaps that he could see through and it looked like it was around dinner time, even though it was warm inside, almost stifling. He wiped at his brow, reminded of the Clow Country's desert heat. "Had I been asleep long, princess?"

"No. Just a few hours. You needed the sleep, so I just let you." There was an almost apologetic note in her voice and Syaoran had to look up, meeting her bright green eyes full on.

A man could drown in those green liquid pools and wouldn't mind. Syaoran wouldn't. He'd let himself be pulled in and… shaking his head once more, he gently patted Sakura's hand, the only few times he'd allow himself to touch her.

"Arigato." He mumbled softly. The memory of that word, of how he had gotten to know it, was rooted so deeply inside him. There was no other word that he loved best. Well, second best. He loved her name more.

No, not just her name. All of her.

She reddened slightly as though reading his thoughts and the pink tinge in her cheek slowly blossomed into a deeper shade of red.

He watched as Sakura looked away, averting her eyes. "I found some bread on my pockets," Sakura was saying and at this she chuckled lightly. "I wanted to give it to Mokona," she added softly and then remembering that Mokona wasn't with them, she lightly shook her head and turned her attention back to him, "but… we could eat it for dinner today, Syaoran-kun!" She exclaimed quite proudly, happy of her find. "I knew you'd be hungry and well," she paused, her cheeks coloring once more, "It's not a lot but…"

He saw her hand helplessly waving towards the corner of room and Syaoran slightly turned his head. On a small table, Sakura had laid out a few loaves of bread and some cheese: left over food from the last country that they had visited.

"It's not much…" She began but Syoaran quickly shook his head.

"I'm sorry; I forgot to bring some food." He mumbled, mortified of his un-thoughtfulness. She must have been starving! And yet she had waited for him to wake up and oh! He was so stupid! How could he have forgotten something as important as that?

"Oh, Syaoran-kun, really!" Sakura said with a heavy sigh, sitting down next to him. "Stop apologizing."

"But I should have…"

She moved so that she was now sitting infront of him, distracting him from saying more and then all of a sudden, her small hands were gripping his shoulders forcing him to look at her. "You apologize to me about everything even though it isn't your fault to begin with." She said, berating him. "And… and, I haven't done anything… anything at all to help find Mokona-chan and Fai-san and Kurogane-san!" There was a note of annoyance in her voice and Syaoran quickly apologized for annoying her.

"There you go again!" Sakura said. "I'm not even annoyed with you! I'm annoyed with me!" She let her arms fall back to her side as she let out a loud sigh.

"But princess!" Syaoran exclaimed.

She didn't seem to have heard him. "I'm so helpless all the time… I…" She paused and took a deep breath before dropping her eyes and biting down hard at her lower lip that was now slightly trembling. "I'm so sorry, Syaoran-kun, for being so troublesome."

"But princess! It's not your fault!" He exclaimed. "Please don't apologize…" Suddenly realizing the absurdity of their conversation, Syaoran stopped mid-sentence and let out a small chuckle.

Less than a heartbeat later, Sakura too was giggling softly with him. "See?" She said, smirking at him. "So, please, don't." She murmured softly, gazing at him with wide imploring green eyes.

Although her tone was light, Syaoran could still hear the hint of pain in her voice and he was very tempted to apologize again for hurting her, but he thankfully, managed to bite his tongue. He nodded silently and was rewarded by her smile.

Sakura brightened and she took his hands, squeezing them gently. "I knew you'd be too worried trying to look for Fai-san, Mokona-chan and Kurogane-san that you wouldn't even remember about eating." Sakura said.

"But I shouldn't have forgotten that the princess has not yet eaten." Syaoran interrupted, which probably wasn't the best idea as Sakura very mildly scowled at him.

"Princess…" Syaoran tried to reason, not sure where he'd start or if he could actually start, but with those startling green eyes staring down at him…

"Syaoran-kun," Sakura said, grabbing his hand and pressing it firmly, "there you again!" She exclaimed.

He finally relented. Syaoran didn't want to upset her more. "Ok." He mumbled dejectedly, bowing his head and staring at the grimy floor. He saw that their knees were almost touching and that if he or she moved closer…

Sakura seemed to have realized that the distance between them had become marginally smaller too, although Syaoran wasn't quite sure how that happened and she quickly pulled her hands back, laying them down against her lamp. She proceeded to clutch fistful of her dress, nervously clenching and unclenching her hands.

Syaoran wanted to hug her right there and then but had enough brain matter to keep still and wait for her to say something. It was obvious that she was trying to think up of something to say, the way her face would unconsciously scrunch up.

Silence surrounded them. Unsure now of what to say, Syaoran cleared his throat and wracked his brains for a comment or two that would make the princess smile. Mokona and Fai-san always seemed to know what to say, he on the other hand… well, he was just hopeless.

It was the princess who broke the silence. "Let's just eat, ok, Syaoran-kun?" Her tone softened as she pulled him to his feet and across the room to the food.

"Ok." Syaoran said, nodding, almost too eager to follow her.

When she glanced at him, her hand still inside his, she gave him a small, shy smile and Syaoran very gently squeezed her fingers, smiling softly as well.

"Everything will be alright, Syaoran-kun." She told him, "I have you with me."

----- -----

TBC

End note: Thanks for your time reading this update. I hope that you liked it! Er, well, they were all a bit OOC here, but then again, it's just a fanfic. LOL. Please let me know what you guys think! I really appreciate it! See you all next chapter!