Disclaimer: The characters of Twilight are owned by Stephenie Meyer. The content, ideas and intellectual property of this story and the 'American Vampire Series' in its entirety are owned by Just4ALE.

Chapter 7: The Sound of Silence

BPOV

I awoke in the middle of the night in our bedroom to silence. A deafening silence. And an empty bed. I looked around at the clock. 4:23 a.m. As I sat up, I realized I was wearing my t-shirt and shorts. This was unusual: I typically woke up naked after a night with Edward, cradled in his arms. In fact, I hadn't worn anything last night. I'd come to bed in only a towel.

"Edward?" I called. I threw my legs over the side of the bed, managed to find my slippers and stood up. My knees buckled as my feet touched the floor, my head feeling a little dizzy and my body a little weak. Holding on to various pieces of furniture as I made my way to the door and called out again. "Edward?"

My feeling of impending doom suddenly washed over me. What happened to Edward? Turning on lights along the way, I made it down the stairs and searched for him in every room. "Edward?" I called out once more… but each room was empty. As I turned to leave the study, I noticed that his laptop was gone from the desk. Did he go to the lab?

I went back upstairs to the bedroom to get my cell phone on the bedside nightstand. As I reached for it, I noticed a note next to the phone with my name on it, clearly written in Edward's fine script. Picking up the paper, I read the very brief but pointed message he had written.

Bella, I'm sorry.
I can't do this anymore.
You deserve better.
Goodbye, Edward

The next instant I realized I was on the floor, sitting with my back up against the mattress and box spring. I read the words again and again, the paper clutched in my hands. What kind of fucking Jack Berger dumps Carrie Bradshaw on a Post-it note is this??? Is this a joke? Is this one of these Edward tries to piss off Bella moments? I let the note fall to my lap and my hands went limp over the paper as I tried to process through this… and then I noticed that my ring was gone. Finding my legs, I scrambled to my feet and stumbled to the bureau to look in my jewelry box and found that, as I dreaded, his mother's pendant was gone too. Not that I needed to check, but I looked in the closet and saw that some of his clothes were missing.

No. Not a joke. Not a joke at all. I read the note once more. I had to give it to him. Even when he broke someone's heart, Edward was elegant and classy. Shit, had it not been for the last line, it was practically a haiku.

I reached for my phone on the nightstand, turned it on and tried to call him just in case. The phone just kept rolling into voicemail after several rings. Hanging up, I dialed Alice. Despite the time difference between Chicago and Denali, clearly I would not be waking her up. She answered on the first ring. She was probably expecting my call.

"Hi, Bella," she said softly.

"Alice," I said, any traces of emotion now leaving me. "Edward left me a note… saying goodbye. Did I do something wrong?"

She paused. "Of course you didn't, Bella…What do you remember, sweetie?"

What did I remember? It was hazy. It started out as a wonderful evening of laughing and getting each other off in the car. And then it moved to a more 'typical' love making session – to the extent that anything was typical with Edward these days. I remembered Edward's beautiful face, his lips kissing mine and then his mouth all over my body. I remembered hearing his thoughts with only one mantra chanted over and over: mine, mine, mine. His tongue and fingers inside of me and then the bite on my thigh,,, Ecstasy… and then another bite on my neck and my wondering why he bit me twice.

"He bit me, Alice. Twice. He's never done that before. Then I blacked out until I woke up a little while ago."

She was silent and I knew that this awful feeling of dread was valid.

"He's gone for good, isn't he?" I asked.

"I don't know Bella," she said quickly.

Ah, trying to protect me. "Yes you do, Alice…" I said quietly.

She paused once more and then cried out, "Oh, Bella! Do you need me to come there?"

"No, thanks…" I said, my voice feeling very far away from my body. I managed to hang up just before I dropped the phone.

Somehow, I made it into the bathroom before I threw up, my last night's dinner wanting to leave me… just like Edward. As I lay on the rug in one of the only rooms that didn't remind me completely of him, another of my odd thoughts floated through my head. I wished in one brief moment of fantasy that one of Edward's superpowers could have been like Superman in that old movie I caught one Saturday on TV. Superman kissed Lois Lane and that one mega kiss erased her memory of them together. I'd have given anything to not remember anything about him as I lay in his house alone.

I read once that the five stages of grief were Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I skipped the first three.

And I lay on the floor of the bathroom for the next two days.

~#~

On the third day, I heard a doorbell ringing far off in the distance. After a while, I realized it was the doorbell to this house. I ignored it, but then the ringing became banging on the front door and I heard my name being called. Somehow in my haze, I managed to get up, but I was pretty weak and dehydrated from my days and nights on the bathroom floor. Afraid I'd take a real spill, I sat on the top of the stairs, held on to the banister, and slid down slowly one step at a time on my butt until I reached the bottom. Once I was on flat ground, I got up and opened the door. Standing there, bag in hand, hair up in a ponytail and wearing her glasses, was Angela.

I frowned. "How…?" And then I realized, "Alice."

She looked at me, her eyes wide yet soft and then she stepped in and dropped her bag on the floor and hugged me. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I felt her frame against mine and was instantly comforted. Thank you God for friends like these.

She closed the front door behind her and looked around. "How much of your stuff do you have here?" she asked.

What? How much of my stuff? Why is she asking that? And then I got it. Yes. First order of business. Get me out of here, please.

I nodded, to show her that I understood. "All of it… I moved in a few weeks ago, so it's only clothes and some books and my movies and one sofa in the study."

"Okay. Do you still have the boxes by any chance or do I need to go scrounge some up?"

"Lucky me, I still have them," I somehow managed to respond.

She looked at me and shook her head. "Alright, show me where the boxes are and I'll start packing your clothes while you go get cleaned up."

She pointed me to the shower where I stayed for a long time, eventually just sitting in the tub and letting the hot water from the showerhead above drench me. After I hadn't exited for a while, she became worried and so she knocked and came in. I saw her hand come into the shower, turn off the water and then disappear, only to reappear with a towel. I took it from her and then I heard the door close again. Holding on to the tub and the walls, I stood up shakily and toweled off. Tossing the shower curtain to the side, I noticed that she had placed a cup of tea for me on the counter.

I stepped out, wiped the condensation from the mirror and looked at myself. Who was that person? I didn't recognize her. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked a little thinner from three days without food. She also looked a little more pale than usual. The remnants of the bite marks were still on her neck and her leg. I took a deep breath and then realized that I could barely inhale because my chest felt so constricted. As I started to cough, I decided to stick with shallow breathing for a while. I picked up the cup of tea and drank a little... the warmth helped sooth my dry throat.

I walked out wrapped in my towel and found that Angela had already packed ¾ of my clothes. Thank God I wasn't a clothes horse. I found something to wear and dressed behind her in the corner, then I sat on the chair.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I felt so tired and really wanted to crawl into bed and sleep more.

"We'll go to my hotel," she said, still folding quickly. "I'm staying downtown at the Sofitel. We'll leave these boxes here for a day or two while we find you an apartment and then we'll get some movers."

The thought of leaving anything behind jolted me into reality. "No!" I cried. "I don't want to have to come back here. Let's take it all and put it in storage even if it is only for a few days. I have some extra money; I can afford it."

"Okay," she said calmly. "Okay. Can you look around and find what else is yours to get packed or is that too hard?"

"I can do it," I said. "There's not much." I grabbed a box and went downstairs to the study.

It was hard to wander around the house and not feel him. It was all him everywhere as it was his house, obviously. His wonderful scent permeated everything… and his classic taste and style was every place I looked. But the worst part was my head. It was completely silent. I'd gotten so used to hearing his thoughts mingled with mine… dirty or clean. Finding a quick burst of energy, I ran upstairs, grabbed my iPod and put it on, trying to drown out the silence.

However, I quickly found that the iPod was nothing but yet another reminder. While I stayed away from my "Romance Songs" and "Sad Songs Say So Much" playlists, as well as the movie soundtracks, and even the freakin' "Dance Tunes" list, which had all of these upbeat danceable songs from the 1970s to the 2000s on it, because they had stupid lyrics reminding me of a break up or of a love I no longer had… "No Reply at All", "All I Want", "If You Let Me Stay", "Everlasting Love", "Miss You Much".

I furiously scrolled down, looking for something, anything, that would take my mind off of him. Finally I ripped the earbuds out of my ears and threw the iPod across the room, smashing it against the wall outside of the study.

"Bella?" Angela called out, hearing the noise.

I was staring at the damn thing which was still in one resilient little piece. "FUCK!" I shouted and I jumped up to run to the kitchen, finding the toolbox and grabbing a hammer. And then I ran back and began to smash the fucker to little bits.

I was still hammering and had definitely crushed it as well as made some dents in the beautiful hardwood floors when Angela spoke again. "Bella!" she called. I looked up to see her on the stairs. She had a small smile on her face.

"Um, I think that you sufficiently killed it." I looked down at the chunks of iPod all over the floor and dropped the hammer as I looked back up at her.

Her eyes were soft. "I know," she said, "I wish it were his head too."

I managed a small laugh and pushed my bangs off of my forehead. "I guess I didn't completely skip the anger part of the grief process after all."

"Good," she said. "Use that to just keep going. We'll get you out of here in no time."

~#~

We were packed in about two hours. Angela was so efficient. She arranged for the movers to come that afternoon and move my stuff into a storage locker that we rented. In the meantime, she made me some tea and tried to get me to eat. But I eat when I'm happy… and my diet suffers big-time when I'm upset. I couldn't stomach anything.

As we packed the last remnants of my boxes, I opened the one in which I kept my photos and found the ones I had of Edward and me or just him. It hurt so much to look at him and how stunningly beautiful he was… and to see me looking so happy next to him. I handed them to Angela.

"Please shred these," I said, pointing to the shredder by Edward's desk.

"Are you sure?"

"Just shred them… and please delete any and all that I have on my computer."

I left the photos of me with his family on the desk and we exited the house.

When we got to Angela's hotel, I had one last thing to do. I went to business services and completed a Fedex shipping label. I popped the house keys in the envelope and left instructions for Esme to handle the renovations to Edward's house. I wrote a check for $30,000 and shoved that in the envelope as well. Then I sealed it and mailed it off to the Cullens. And then, once we were in her room, I crawled into bed and buried myself for the night.

Thankfully, Angela handled the calls that came in from my mom and dad over the next day, who didn't know about the breakup. I could hear her telling them when she answered my phone.

"Hi, Renee, it's Angela Weber. Yes, I'm here visiting with Bella. We're in a hotel in Chicago." She paused. "She and Edward broke up it seems. No, I'm not really sure what happened. She's not talking right now… No, I don't think that she'd want that. I'm going to help her get a new apartment over the next few days and get resettled. Yeah, I'll tell her that you called."

Within three days, I was settled into my new apartment at the corner of Clark and Fullerton in Lincoln Park. It was a nice neighborhood with lots of restaurants and shops, close to the lake and near a bus line to downtown for work. My apartment was on the 17th floor and I had a great view. They even gave me a lovely little 'Welcome' gift basket on my kitchen counter when I moved in.

I disconnected my phone service and got a new plan and phone. He had given me that phone and I certainly didn't want it now. I needed a fresh start and I'd contact anyone who needed to reach me to let them know of the number. I doubted that he would try to reach me, given his note. I smashed the phone too, just to make myself feel good for a few moments.

On her last day with me, Angela and I walked along Lake Michigan together. I was eternally grateful for her. There weren't enough words to express the feelings I had for what she had just done for me in one short week. Finally, I felt able to talk and I knew that I owed her an explanation. We sat on a set of benches in one of the grassy areas near the Lincoln Park Zoo.

"I was pregnant," I said quietly.

Her mouth dropped open. "What? Didn't he want the baby?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'm not explaining this right. That was the wrong place to start… It just came out. Hold off on your questions while I try to say this."

She nodded. "Okay."

I looked down at my sneakers while I attempted to give her the concise story. "A few months ago, I was attacked by a friend of his. I was impaled on a stake. I almost died. He gave me his blood to heal me… and after that I could hear his thoughts."

"Something about his blood and mine changed my scent to him, and it made him more attracted to me. Our physical activity increased dramatically. I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage after about a month. It was weird... I was craving blood and I had to have some for the baby but I felt kind of funny each time... while my body was absorbing it I guess." I shook my head and I finally looked up at her. Her mouth was open again, a worried look in her eyes. I shrugged and managed a small smile. "It has been a busy couple of months."

"Anyway, I think he lost control. My blood and his blood together…"

"Is that why he left?" she asked.

"You saw the note."

"Bella, I saw it alright, and it was just as clear as Berger's Post-it."

Despite my deep sadness, that comment made me smile. Yep, that's why she's my girl. She thought it too. I'm not the only nut job seeing the pathetic link between Sex and the City and my freakin' life.

"Well, I don't know why he left other than what he said, but it may be. The last night he bit me twice… something he'd never done before…" Images of that last night, of his hands and mouth on me flashed through my head. I pushed them away. "I don't know. I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Anyway, thank you so much for getting me through this Angela."

She looked down at her shoes. Her next words were gentle. "Bella, I've known you for a couple of years now and I've been watching you carefully this past week. You're NOT through this. Not by a long shot. You haven't even cried yet." And then she looked back up at me. "But you're strong. And you WILL get through this. You will. But please, do me a favor: start eating. You've lost ten pounds this last week. Don't starve yourself, and no matter what, I'm just a phone call away. Please don't hesitate to pick up the phone, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks. I always know I can count on you." Suddenly something started itching at my mind. With my luck, this probably would happen. "Hey, do me a favor, okay? If you see him in San Francisco, don't tell me."

"Why would I see him?" she asked.

"He knows someone there. A woman from his past: Tanya. If you see him, I don't want to know."

She nodded. "Okay." Then she stood up. "Let's go get my stuff and call a cab to a take me to the airport. Oh, and here," she said reaching into her bag. She handed me a box.

I looked at the gift curiously as I opened it. It was a new iPod. I managed a chuckle.

"I loaded it up with your old lists that I synced up with your laptop. That took some sneaking around to do. Don't take a hammer to it." She smiled. "When you're ready," she said softly, "you'll dance again. You'll even fly."

"Yeah," I said. "I know I will."

A/N: And that's why God made girlfriends.

Hey all, I got a few PMs after the last chapter (as feared, I lost a few readers on that one - *sniff*, but I understand. I didn't like that damn break-up in NM either. DREADING seeing it on film.)

So here is what you need to know: yes, the break-up channels New Moon. But it wasn't done JUST to channel New Moon. She HAS to be without Edward in order to go where she goes, to allow the things that happen to her and to get to the conclusion that I want. Nothing has been or is gratuitous. And you should know me by now if you've read the last two stories... and the kind of resolutions that I like to see.

Soooo, for those of you still out there reading, thanks for reading so far and for staying with me. Please leave feedback… it helps!

Post A/N: To Vampyre - sounds like someone is already making you their snack at night... You, me and Bella ought to vacation together. Just imagine the things that would happen to us... Where do you want to go: Ward? New Orleans? Santorini? Volterra? LOL. You can let me know after Ch. 11.