Beautiful Lies
Thanks SO much guys for the input! It was extremely helpful. I hope you like what I've decided to do. I'm extremely pleased with it and I think it brings closure to the whole thing.
Ch. 9
"So," Wilson said.
"So," Cuddy said.
"Tomorrow, eh?"
"Yeah."
"I hope the coma works." Wilson voiced the hope they both clung to as a last lifeline.
Cuddy took a deep breath. "So do I."
When Wilson left, Cuddy sat in her office, trying to do work. But her mind cannot get off what House had confessed to her, two days ago.
House wanted to be with her. A part of Cuddy wanted to dance around her office and sing "I Feel Pretty" à la West Side Story. But the more rational part of her sobered her by pointing out the many problems a relationship with House presented.
Rachel, for one. When Cuddy had tried to get House to see that he wanted a relationship, it had been before she adopted Rachel. Now, she was not free. She was a mother. She could not leave everything whenever House needed her.
Also, would this work out even without the complication of Rachel? House had problems with relationships. To be fair, so did she. One was not single at the age of forty without a good reason. They had been at each others' throats for so long, and built up so much sexual tension. Would they be at a loss if the tension was gone? Would they be…nice to each other?
Cuddy shook her head. She couldn't picture that. No, they would scream and yell at each other as much as usual. They would probably break up within a week.
It was impossible to work with her mind in such a turmoil. She grabbed her coat and purse and headed home.
--
Cuddy rocked Rachel on the couch. It was past midnight. The girl had been especially fussy tonight, and Cuddy had finally managed to make her quiet down. Rachel was now sucking on her pacifier, her eyelids drifting open and closed dreamily.
"Is it between you and House, then?" Cuddy said softly, looking down at her. "Do I have to choose?"
"Not much of a choice, really," she continued. "It's not like I can give you back. And I don't want to give you back," she added fiercely.
She hesitated. "But I don't want to give him up, either," she admitted.
"Why do I have to choose?" she said, a little while later. "Why can't I have both? He'll have to accept you, if he wants me, and that's that."
Rachel had fallen asleep, the pacifier dangling out of her mouth with a thread of drool hanging down. Cuddy gently removed it from her mouth and set it aside.
"It can work out," she said, yawning.
She ended up falling asleep on the couch with Rachel in her arms, dreams of a happy family dancing in her head, dreams all the more heartbreaking upon awakening, because they are so far removed from reality.
--
It had come full circle. He was back on the bus. Amber was sitting beside him.
"I went into a coma to get rid of you," he said, without antipathy.
Amber looked at him, her green eyes no longer cruel, no longer taunting. It wasn't the Amber of his subconscious. This was Amber as she had been in life, the Amber Wilson had loved, the Amber who had come to pick House up at the bar.
"I know," she said. "I'm saying goodbye."
"Goodbye," he repeated. He looked around the bus and sighed. "No pain again." Excruciating pain had been his life for the past week. He didn't want to go back to that again, especially without the relief of Vicodin this time. He wanted to stay here. Painless. Warm.
"You're needed," Amber said quietly.
"I'll have to die sometime," House said. "I can only save so many patients."
"You know that's not what I meant," Amber said, with a flash of her old annoyance.
"Cuddy has her baby. Wilson…will find another wife," House said. "No offense to you," he added.
She snorted. "You need them, too," she pointed out.
He knew that was true. "I'll just screw it up. With Cuddy."
"How do you know?" Amber said. "You haven't tried."
House was silent.
"That day. Did you really tell Cuddy that you were hallucinating?" Amber said. "No. Did you really tell her that you needed her? No. You haven't actually done anything. Why should you expect anything from not trying?"
"I should've hired you," House said.
Amber laughed. "Go home, House."
He stood up. Oh, how easy it was to stand up here. "Really goodbye, this time?" He said, raising an eyebrow.
Amber smiled. "Goodbye for good."
As he moved to the front door of the bus, he heard her say, "Good luck, House."
--
"Welcome back, Dr. House," the psychiatrist said.
House blinked in the light. "Urgh," he said groggily, sitting up. "You're like a bad dream. Only, you know, worse, because I see you after I wake up."
"Glad to see your keen sense of wit hasn't been affected," the psychiatrist chuckled. "How do you feel?"
House looked around. He didn't see Amber, and somehow he knew that he was never going to see her again. "I don't know. Good, I guess."
"And your pain?"
House blinked. His pain wasn't gone, no. But it was a dull ache instead of the piercing agony of the past days, something he could easily manage. "Much better," he said in surprise. "What did you slip me?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Dr. House," the psychiatrist said, looking elated. "Your brain has rebooted itself. It's over its opoid dependency and your pain levels should be at where it is supposed to be now. The hallucinations are gone too, I gather?"
House nodded. "Does that mean I can leave?" His spirits rose infinitely at the thought of his own apartment, his beautiful piano, cable.
"We'll need to keep you for a couple of days for monitoring," the psychiatrist said.
"What?!" House exclaimed. "No! I feel completely fine. You can monitor me at home or something. I am so gone," he moved to get up from the bed.
"It's just for two days," the psychiatrist said soothingly. "You get more privileges now that you have recovered. You can go anywhere you like on the hospital grounds. We'll even give you a TV in your room."
House considered. "I get my cane back," he stated.
"Of course," said the psychiatrist.
"Fine," House said.
Yay! =)
Just a heads-up...the next chapter will be the last in Part 1. There will be a Part 2 dealing with recovery and hopefully lots of Huddy goodness...please review and tell me your thoughts!