"Don't need it. I want the pain."
That stopped Kakashi. "You want me to top?"
A jerky nod.
"I'm sorry, Itachi. I love you more than you ever imagine, so that's why I can't. Not when you're like this. You don't know what you want." Kakashi waited for Itachi to say something. The silence was scaring him.
"Itachi?"
"I understand," Itachi's tone was clipped.
"I want you," Kakashi affirmed. "This would be your first time as the bottom, no? And I want to do it right." Not when you're half out of your mind, is what Itachi heard.
Itachi leaned forward, dark eyes shining with potential cruelty. "You realize you might never get another chance."
"I never said I minded being taken," Kakashi replied, his tone light. He smiled at the fleeting look of surprise on Itachi's pale face.
"Idiot." Itachi pushed himself off Kakashi's chest.
Kakashi studied Itachi's face, his body language, but knew better than to expect to find a tell. "Do you want to talk about it?"
And just like that, Itachi was bombarded with memories of Naruto smiling, blushing, kissing him, holding him, loving him-
"No," Itachi said shortly. He had to sort through his feelings first. Had to figure out how much was relief, how much was regret, and how much was due to lack of sleep. And he wasn't strong enough to do it standing so he went to Dei's living room, knowing that Kakashi would follow, and collapsed on the couch with as much grace as he could.
Kakashi stood behind the couch. "Then I'll go check on Dei." Kakashi tipped Itachi's head back and kissed him lightly upside down. Just a mere brushing of lips. It was sweet, Itachi thought darkly, and oh so tenuous.