Here we go, sorry for the break, it's just this chapter was hard to write...
I suppose I've been talking about my brother long enough huh? Guess I should start talking about another important time in my life, that has affected me even tell now. I'm pretty sure that this feeling I have will never ever go away, but I guess i'm just going to have to learn from it. This happened when I was 12.
My parents decided they wanted to go on a trip to visit our old house back in New Mexico. I didn't really want to go seeing as I didn't know anyone there and lived there when I was too young to even remember the house we lived in. Besides that my parents didn't think it was smart, just in case my eczema came back again. I told them that I could stay with my grandma for that week and i'd be fine. They let me.
About the 3rd day or so I got bored, my grandma isn't boring but her house sure is. I asked her if I could call one of my closest cousin's cassie. To see if she could stay the night. She was about 16, and even though I was only 12, she was always very kind to me, and treated me as if I was her age. Anyways, her mom said that she could but only if her younger sister who was 13 could too. My grandma didn't mind so we all stayed the night.
It came to be late and my grandma said we should be getting to bed, she said she'd sleep in the spare bedroom and we could all sleep in her bed. Cassie was on my right, Stacey on my left. I was almost asleep when Cassie started talking dirty to me. She told me to take off my underwear and I trusted her, so I did. She ended up touching me, and forced me, litterally forced me to touch her. Then she woke up her sister stacey and proceeded to touch her aswell, she forced both stacey and I to touch her (you know where) and to play with her boobs. Then she'd do the same to us.
I cried myself to sleep that night. She told Stacey and I that if we ever say anything about it, she'd hurt us both. So we never did. Every day from then on, I couldn't stand her, I didn't feel clean anymore. No matter how many showers I took, no matter how many times I prayed to God, I felt dirty. About two years later, I couldn't take the pain anymore,
I told my mom. She got ahold of Cassie's mom and all her mom did was send her to camp. Nothing else happend.
She molested me for crying out loud. I have to live with the pain of feeling dirty every fricken day of my life, and all she had to do was go to camp. I will never be the same again. It only proved more I couldn't trust anyone. I can't go a day without being scared something bad will happen. I have to live with this pain and this filthy feeling all my life. She changed me, and nothing happened to her, nothing at all. Why should I have to suffer the consequences when she suffered none? It's not fair, life isn't fair.