Thought i'd share this letter I wrote to someone...hope you enjoy...

Okay so you said you like to read....I hope you meant it.

Dear Chris,

Today well no, these few weeks i've done some serious life thinking...What I want to do with my life, where I want to go, ect; I've stumbled upon a few things. Now, I don't expect a reply back or anything, seeing as you officially are like not talking or whatever, and who knows maybe you won't even read it...but maybe this is for my own benefit and not yours, either way I just needed all to be said. So here it goes, you don't have to read it..just let me get it all out mmkay?

Lately i've been finding myself down, you know what they say fake smiles and all. Well I figured out it was you, and i'm not trying to make you feel bad...hear me out before you think anything okay? So I sat down and for the past few weeks every night before I go to bed i'd write down what happened to pop in my head about you that day and why it was special. You said you keep little notebooks so I got me one of my own just to write your junk down...there's a lot of it. Gah, I sound like Lisa now, sorry. You don't have to go on. Anyways, I looked back over the stuff and it really all has the same thing, you made me laugh, smile, and you taught me things...things that the old me would have never payed attention too. You know the girl who can't love someone any different then her, the girl who can't stand that you always were serious. But you know maybe that's what I needed in my life..someone serious for a change.

I honestly think that we weren't meant to fall in love. I think it was just so maybe I could learn a lesson. That I take life for granted and I need to re think the way i'm living. I think that's what you did to me. I wanted to say thank you for that Chris. If it weren't for you i'd still be as stuck up as ever. You kind of brought me back down to Earth, and made me realize there are things wrong in this world even if I wouldn't admit it. I think the fact that we fell in love, was totally well...a mistake. I don't mean that I didn't want it to happen because I did...but maybe I did for all the wrong reasons. I think if you were to ever come back, but your stubborn so I know you won't, but anyways if you did, i'd be a differen't girl then you knew.
I'd be a little more serious, a little less flirty, and i'd appreciate life. But with that, I know I can't love you. Um, It hurts me to say that, you probably can't believe, but I thought i'd found 'the one'. Which looking back is kind of silly seeing as i'm only 15, but you know when your fifteen and someone tells you that they love you, your going to believe them. So I fell for a lie, and maybe it wasn't a lie, maybe you really do or did love me, but heres the deal.

I kept thinking about at night if you were going to come back, and I really wished you did, but i've decided now that, it's probably not a great idea. It's taken me this long to get any tiny bit over you, and trust me it's only a little bit..but if you came back i'd always be afraid you'd leave again..i'm not ready to have yet another person I truly trusted do that to me. It's okay if you never read this, or if you never reply, or even if you just don't care...I just had to get this out..if not for you then for me...So that way i'd be okay. I just hope you feel the same. So just so you know this is the last letter, I can't bear to write anymore, if I do...I might start thinking otherwise because of some crazy reason..I just wanted you to know the real feelings. Maybe someday i'll hear from you again...when that time comes..I hope i'll be ready, I hope you will be too.

Sincerely your old friend,
Sarah.