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Chapter Two

Unbearable. Horrifying. Indescribable. I hope I never, EVER, have to go through something like what happened in the next few moments again. But hey, you can't break what's already broken, right?

You all probably want to know what happened. Fortunately, I don't think I can tell you every single detail. Whether that's because I simply don't remember everything that went down, or I don't WANT to remember everything that went down, I have no idea.

I'm trying really hard to forget. I'm trying really, really hard to make my mind ignore that memory, block out that memory even, until it completely vanishes.

But judging by the fact that I promised to tell you my story, I'm sure you've all guessed by now that my plan hasn't really worked out. Well, anyways, long story short. Here's the deal:

Cancer. I was diagnosed with cancer. Complete opposite of how I was hoping everything would turn out, eh?

And there goes the tears again. Of course. It's almost as if they have an on and off switch, a switch that any sick person could operate just to toy with my emotions. Everything started to become a blur and I could barely see anybody in the room, not that I wanted to see the doctors and their failed attempt at trying to comfort me by putting on those fake smiles of theirs. It disgusted me how they tried to make me feel better. They didn't even know me.

The crying got worse. WAY worse. It flew right past sobbing and was on its way to bawling until it reached its final destination: completely breaking down. I didn't even know my body could generate that many tears.

The doctors continued explaining to me what was happening. To be honest, I didn't even care. I didn't even want to feel anything anymore. And of course, more trying to make me feel better, except this time it was coming from my parents. My mom was gently squeezing my hand as my dad's hand made its way to my back and started rubbing it. My reaction? I shook my head and snatched my hand away. But of course they didn't get the message.

"Come on, sweetie, lighten up a little. Be strong." Yup, you guessed right. That's good old mom for ya. Oh and by the way, before you read any further, please note that I was on the verge of having a mental breakdown. Got it? Okay, continue.

"LIGHTEN UP?! How dare you tell me to LIGHTEN UP. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I HAVE FUCKING CANCER!"

Yeah, yeah, I know, it was wrong to yell at my mom, especially while in a room with not only your dad, but a couple random people who work at a hospital that you don't even know. But I did it anyway. Don't you just love how everything went down?

You know what I just love? I just love how out of every single being on this earth, God decided to screw with my life. I just love how I completely embarrassed myself and I didn't even think twice about it. I just love how I cried so much I don't think there's any water left. And I just LOVE that, even after my outburst, they still tried. I think I got my point across pretty well. Do they not get the message yet?

Lies. All lies. I was sick of this crap the doctors were giving me.

"We're gonna take care of you, hun. You know, six chances in ten, it's not gonna come back again. Don't worry too much." – Oh yay, happy day. That's fantastic news.

"We'll use therapy. It's just been approved; it's the strongest we have." Excellent. Now I can die happy. Whoop de doo.

And my favorite:

"I think we caught it in time."

Bullshit. It's all bullshit.

I'm gonna do you a favor and fast forward a little. I think you've had enough of my little scene in that hospital room.

In case you're stupid and haven't already assumed it, I didn't talk that whole car ride home. I was sure I had fresh tear stains on my cheeks, and I was sure my makeup was completely smeared. I didn't give a shit. Why should I care anymore?

I ran to my room. Finally. It was time for that 'suffering in silence' I promised myself earlier. Only it turned out way worse than I had imagined before I got the news.

I slammed the door and leaned against it. Maybe I should try to be strong, I thought to myself. Then two seconds later I broke down on the floor. Another plan that failed miserably.

I soon heard footsteps up the stairs, which led to footsteps towards my room, which led to knocking coming from right behind me. I could hear the muffled voices of my parents on the other side of the door. What they were saying, I wasn't sure. I couldn't think straight.

There was only one person in my mind that moment: Nate.

Whoops, did I forget to mention him? Sorry guys, a lot going through my mind right now.

Let me back up.

Basically, before all of this happened, I had a normal life. I went to high school. No, I wasn't the blonde cheerleader who got any guy she wanted. And no, I wasn't the lonely outsider who's extremely smart and secretly crushing on the hottest guy in school, even though she knows it's never gonna happen. I had friends. And I had one guy in particular who I wouldn't exactly call just a friend.

Really cute. Really funny. Really talented. Really just plain amazing. The guy that I've been best friends with forever and the guy I was crushing on forever and the guy who finally asked me out and the guy who I fell in love with and the guy I was supposed to go to prom with and have the best night of my life with.

That's basically Nate in a nutshell.

Guess you can't always get what you want, huh?

You know, I once heard this quote:

"Life sucks, and then you die."

Well, they got that first part right.

And now I'm on my way to that second part. Only problem is, it's happening way earlier then I planned.

TO BE CONTINUED…

dundundun.