Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
A/N: Yeah, I finally updated! Sorry, I've been on DeviantArt a lot lately.
Iruka barely gave a thought to the chakra he was focusing in his feet and legs as he raced over the rooftops. His mind was too full, it was moving too quickly for him to even spare a thought for what he was doing. He leaped onto his windowsill and slipped inside as quietly and efficiently as any ANBU, landing on the floor of the bedroom that had belonged to him and Kakashi until about three weeks ago.
"Where's the textbook, where's the textbook, where's the fucking textbook..." Iruka tore through the house until he reached the kitchen table where he had been grading papers last night. He grabbed the strap of his bag, the one he carried all his teaching materials in--test papers and red pens went flying. Iruka paid no attention. He dug around inside and pulled out a rather large volume entitled, Introduction to the Shinobi: The Basics of Ninja Life.
"Chapter two, section six, page...eighty seven!" Iruka ran his finger down the paragraphs, trying to find the words he needed.
"When one is not able to find a shinobi, there may be three possible reasons," he mumbled, "Reason #1: The shinobi may be dead. Do not, under any circumstances, assume this. Always assume Reason #2: The shinobi is hiding his chakra signature (see chapter 14 for more information). Reason #3 applies more to comrade shinobi than to enemy nin. In some cases, one may not be able to find a comrade because the shinobi may be so badly hurt that his or her chakra signature is no longer registering. That's IT!"
Iruka tossed the book to the side and began to pace, his mind working quickly. "That's it, Raidou said he was covered in blood, that he was about to break, so where would Kakashi go to break...Tsunade said it had been years since it last happened, we've been dating for a year and we were really good friends for about three, so that's four years ago, it must have been when he was still in ANBU or right after he got out...who was he friends with then...damn it, who could it have been...?"
Kakashi had always been loathe to discuss his past with Iruka, no matter how intoxicated or how depressed he was. There were days when the jounin wouldn't speak at all, there were days when he sat at the dinner table and cried silently without giving Iruka the slightest hint as to why. There had been fights and arguments and Iruka had even walked out one night after accusing Kakashi of not trusting him--it may have been the only time he had seen Kakashi cry and actually known the reason why. Of course, Genma had brought him back to Kakashi about five hours later and Kakashi had held his hair back when he threw up all the vodka he had drunk...and they had never had that conversation again...
Iruka found himself crying and wiped the tears off his face with angry hands. "Damn it, if he had only talked to me more...I might know at least where to begin..."
Instead of lingering on the past, Iruka tried to remember what little Kakashi had told him about ANBU days. Kakashi had sworn not to mention names, and was still under oath to refer to his past comrades as Dog, Fish, Cat, Deer...none of which helped Iruka at all.
"Well, that's all I have to go on, so..." Iruka hopped back onto the windowsill, not bothering to clean up the mess in the kitchen, and took to the rooftops.
A little while later, Iruka found himself at the ANBU compound, knocking on the front door of the front office. A tiny, dark haired woman answered, wearing a dark kimono.
"Good morning," she said quietly, and bowed low. "May I ask your name?"
"Umino Iruka," he answered.
She led him to the front desk, where a man Iruka had never seen before was sitting. His face was so lined and dark that he looked even older than Sarutobi had.
"Who do we have here, Tachiana?" the man asked. His voice was deep and strong, belying the lines of his face.
"Umino Iruka, Rida-san," Tachiana replied in her delicated voice. Iruka bowed when he was introduced. When he rose, the little woman had disappeared.
"What business do you have here today, Umino-san? Do you wish to join the ANBU?"
"Oh no, Rida-san," Iruka replied, "I've been given a mission, and in order to go about it properly, I believe I may need your help--or perhaps the help of an ANBU soldier."
"Ah," Rida nodded. "And...what level shinobi are you?"
Iruka inwardly rolled his eyes. "I am a chuunin, sir. I teach at the Academy."
"And what would you need an ANBU solider for, if you are on a chuunin-level mission?"
"Rida-san, do you know of a man named Hatake Kakashi?" Iruka asked with a sigh.
Rida's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "Yes, I do, in fact. Does your mission concern him?"
"Yes, Rida-san," Iruka replied. "He went on a B-class mission a few weeks ago. He returned four days ago, covered in blood and on the verge of breaking. No one has seen him since then, and our Hokage-sama has charged me with finding him. No one else has had any luck, and I believe the reason why is because his chakra signature is too weak to register. He hasn't broken since he was in the ANBU, and I need any information that it is possible for me to attain on what happens to him and where he goes when he breaks. If I could speak to a solider who was on his team, perhaps--"
"That would be out of the question, Umino-san, and I am not being rude when I say that," Rida seemed genuinely concerned now, leaning forward in his seat to speak to Iruka. "You see, all of Hatake-san's former ANBU teammates are dead."
Add that to the list of things he never told me about himself, Iruka thought.
"I understand, Rida-san. Is there any information that would be helpful to my search?"
Rida thought for a moment, chewing on his lower lip, before calling Tachiana.
"Yes, Rida-san?" she appeared silently beside Iruka, shuffling her tiny feet.
"Find Hatake Kakashi's ANBU record, and bring it to me," he ordered, and turned back to Iruka. "I'm afraid I cannot let you read it, Umino-san. I will give you the information that partains to your search, but I'm afraid that is all I can do. The records of ANBU soldiers are top secret."
"Again, I understand, Rida-san. Thank you so much for your help."
Tachiana reappeared with what looked to be a black leather notebook. She handed it to Rida, then once again slipped away. Iruka wondered if she herself was an ANBU--she moved so quickly and silently.
"Let's see...here you go, Umino. This page records all the details of Hatake-san's breaks--there is no other information, not even his code name," Rida explained, handing Iruka the sheet of typed paper. Records were one of the few things that white paper was used for in Konoha--everything was on scrolls. "Please stay here and read it, and try to memorize. I can't let you leave with that sheet."
"Yes, Rida-san," Iruka bowed again, then began reading:
'Hatake Kakashi, age 18 at induction. Duration of ANBU service: Life.'
...he's still in. He's still in ANBU, and he never told me, I thought he got out...
'These are the details of Hatake's breaking, recorded in order to protect Hatake from himself. He has broken precisely three times since he joined ANBU, with the last break being recorded at age 22. Details on the mission preceding these breaks can be read on page 24 of this file. Hatake's breaking process goes as follows:
'1) Typically returns from missions in a state of silence with either a blank mission report or one reading 'Mission Accomplished.'
2) Tends to disappear and has only been found two of the three times; once at the residence of a significant other (age 20) and once at his own residence (age 18, first break). Reappeared from his last break (age 22) in about a week, would not give details.
Former significant other's statement:
"Kakashi came to me covered in blood. He smelled horrible but he refused to shower or even take his clothes off, even though I'm pretty sure he was hurt very badly. Sat in a corner and cried for days, without stopping. He wouldn't eat if I sat and watched him, but if I left food and left him alone he'd eat it. Same with water--I brought him water because I thought he'd get dehydrated, considering how much he was crying. If I stayed in the room too long he'd sic one of his dogs on me--Pakkun usually, Pakkun sat in his lap the whole time and I had to bring the dog food too. It sort of annoyed me, because Pakkun hates me, but I did it for Kakashi. The worst day was the day before he snapped out of it, when he tried to kill himself, and I had nothing to do with stopping him, it was all Pakkun. I came home to find the dog standing guard over a huge pile of sharp stuff, including all my weapons. Kakashi's throat was slit across the front but it was awfully shallow, I think he must have tried to behead himself and that Pakkun intervened. Kakashi was standing in front of the dog with fresh blood on one of his arms. I think Pakkun bit him. It was the last time I saw Kakashi anyway...I couldn't take it anymore, once he was well I ended it."
Note: Significant other dragged Hatake to hospital after witnessing Pakkun standing over a pile of weaponry. Ended the relationship a week later, when Hatake came back to himself.'
I'm going to hunt down this ex of his and rip his throat out, Iruka decided, as he moved down to the second paragraph.
'Statement of the person who found Hatake at his residence:
"I found Hatake sitting in a corner glaring daggers at Pakkun across the room. The dog was standing guard over a huge pile of weapons. Some of them looked really old and I don't know where they came from. Hatake smelled horrible, like he hadn't even taken off his uniform since he got back from the mission and he'd returned a week earlier. He was still covered in dried blood and when he stood up he wasn't just limping, he was hopping on one foot. Most of what he said made no sense at all and his throat was cut a little--like he'd tried to behead himself. It was deep, but not deep enough to be fatal, obviously. I think the dog must have stopped him. He wasn't wearing his mask--his usual one or his ANBU one. He didn't realize who I was either. I'm not sure he knew exactly who he was, honestly. I had to drag him to the hospital. Literally. His chakra was too weak to fend me off, so I picked him up and carried him. The cut on his throat wasn't as bad as it looked, I think it was just infected, but his leg was broken in two places and he had some kind of poisoning that was attacking his immune system, he got pneumonia shortly after I took him to the hospital..."
Note: Took severe chakra therapy and chakra transfer jutsus for Hatake to recover--his immune system remains weaker than that of most nin to this day, but his extraordinary skills are believed to make up for it.'
There's so much he hasn't told me...
'3) As mentioned above, Hatake tends to become mildly catatonic for a few days. He may or may not cry continually, but he will not bathe, will not change clothes, and will not eat or drink in front of others. He likes to have one of his summons dogs with him, preferably Pakkun.
4) After a few days of the above, Hatake will try to kill himself. Pakkun usually intervenes--it is unknown exactly what happened during the time no one was able to find him. We assume Pakkun guarded him until he came back to himself.
5) Hatake will only go to the hospital if someone takes him, or after he recovers on his own, no matter what his injuries.
6) Hatake either honestly does not remember what happens to him during his breaks, or pretends not to remember. It is best to not mention anything about a break after it is over.'
Iruka read this through twice more, in order to remember the most pertinent details, before handing the paper back to Rida.
"Thank you so much, Rida-san," Iruka bowed low. "This should help me immensely in my mission."
"I certainly hope so, Umino-san. Hatake is one of the best shinobi Konohagakure has ever produced," Rida replied.
"He's one of the best men I know," Iruka sighed. "Goodbye, Rida-san."
"Goodbye, Umino-san, and good luck."
Iruka bowed once more and left the compound, jumping up to the rooftops as soon as the door closed behind him. According to the details of the breaking report, Kakashi was in one of two places: Iruka's apartment, or his apartment.
Unfortunately, Kakashi hadn't had his own apartment for about six months now, and he obviously wasn't at Iruka's. When he left, Kakashi had mostly slept on Gai's couch--Anko had supplied Iruka with this information.
That left only one place Kakashi could be--his father's house, on the other side of town. The neighborhood that the house was located in had been abandoned for years, and Iruka wasn't certain he could find it without a map. He decided to drop back in to his own place to pick one up.
He made a turn and dropped back on to his windowsill, but what he saw sitting on his bed nearly made him fall the three stories to the ground.
Pakkun. Pakkun, and all the rest of Kakashi's summons pack lay in various places around the bedroom, staring at Iruka with their heavy puppy dog eyes.
Pakkun lowered his head and spoke to Iruka.
"He banished us," the dog said quietly. "Banished all of us, told us to go home...and since he still associates this place with home in his mind, so do we. We can't leave this room now."
"Is he at his father's house?" Iruka felt his legs tense up for the spring.
"Yes," Pakkun replied, and Iruka leaped back to the rooftops.
Fuck the map. Iruka would follow his heart.