Okay so this is the deal.
I received several reviews telling me to update soon and what not, the thing is I used to have an amazing beta, but a "friend" of mine offered herself to beta my work and guess what, she bailed out on me!!! the little bastard... and so I've been looking everywhere for a new beta but nobody wants to... ¡_¡ and so this particular chapter is gonna really suck cuz is not beta'ed and cuz I was depressed while writting it...
If anybody wants to help me out and be my beta I'll be more than glad to take you up in the offer, cuz I'm honestly desperate at this point.
You are gonna find a great big amount of mispellings, horrible grammar and typos, but please be nice and while reviewing take that to account please
Thanks and I guess... enjoy...?
°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#()=?¡°!"#&()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?¡°!"#$%&/()=?
Naruto had never liked hospitals; and now finding himself for the second time in less than 6 months in the same emergency room, he asked himself if that was a bad omen.
-"Do you think is a bad omen?"- asked Naruto in a whisper to the fair skinned man seated next to him.
Sasuke's gaze was fixed on the swinging doors leading to the operating area, keeping hidden from them blood, tears and pain. The blond felt somehow thankful for the closed door; however the raven seemed to be trying to burn holes through them.
-"What?"- finally answered Sasuke distracted by the swinging open and close of the door, that cruelly left him wondering what was hidden behind them.
-"The hospital; this is the..."- started saying the younger of the two, but immediately stopped himself, realizing just then of the inappropriateness of his comment.
Blue eyes followed the path from the swinging door to the front desk and to Sakura, standing next to it.
She was exchanging hushed words with Lee's father, an older man that looked just as Lee did, except, well, older.
Sakura's emerald green eyes were puffed and red, but she had hardly cried much and this made Naruto wonder whether it was due to tears or to tiredness; she had had a double shift that day and it was hardly ever a calm day at the emergency room of the general hospital of Washington.
He let his eyes roamed over her body, noticing little details about her appearance.
He found it felt like morbid curiosity, but couldn't stop himself from the scrutiny.
He didn't fail to notice the rings around her eyes - must be from tiredness, he thought - and the grayish sick color of her skin instead of the normal pink tainting her face normally had - tiredness as well, he though again -, the dishevel look she had going for her and was very likely unaware of - but who cares about their appearance when their loved one is dying - and finally she had bed hair, going in all direction.
He let himself slouched on his seat, but immediately regretted it. Hospital waiting room chairs were always uncomfortable and there was no feasible way of finding a position in which you could be somehow at ease while sitting on those chair brought from hell.
He redirected his eyes to the man to his left.
Sasuke was tense and he could tell.
There was a vein popping from his neck while his elbows rested on his knees, his hands cooping his face, midnight dark bangs of hair covered half of his face, making it difficult for Naruto to exactly discern the expression on the other male face, but that was exactly how he knew Sasuke was worried. Whenever the raven tried to hide himself and his emotions from others it meant he was feeling somehow vulnerable and if there was something Sasuke didn't like, it was feeling exposed in anyway.
Not far from were they were seated, on the northern corner of the white room, stood a small group of people, all of them exchanging whispered words and what he supposed were trying to be comforting looks, bus instead came out as grimaces of pain.
He briefly wondered what could be the reason of their visit, but chose to ignore the prodding on his mind and turned to the malevolent swinging door.
He had always believed hospital to be very quiet calm places, but now, it proved to be quite the opposite.
Sounds of crying babies an moms hushing them as they could manage, ambulance sirens resonating far away in the distance, the humming sound of the air conditioning and of the hushed down conversations families sustained with each other, a muted sound from the coffee machine at one of the entrance corners, the screeching of tires and the clanking of metal from the stretches.
He looked back towards the entrance door, the automated door opening and closing non stop at the entrance and exit of doctors, nurses, paramedics and patients.
It was past beyond 4, or so he guessed it to be, he could not be sure because he had forgotten his watch on the coffee table at his living room when they left in a rush.
That got him thinking again...
When had Sakura and Sasuke developed such a strong bond between them? Is not like he was mad about it or anything, quite the opposite, it made him happy to finally see those two clicking; but that whole scene kept repeating itself on his mind over and over again.
It had just seemed so surreal... Sakura breaking apart, and he could have sworn he had seen the pieces of her fall in the floor; and Sasuke, running to her side... breaking her fall... the grimace of pain plastered in his features... but not a single word was uttered.
He sighed, but he couldn't tell if it was due to tiredness or to worry.
Sakura was still standing near the front desk, a few nurses would pass by and through her some encouraging words and she responded with a fake smile, though nobody else noticed.
The blond caught himself wondering if Sasuke had been able to tell the difference between Sakura's smiles...
Again blue eyes travelled to look at his companion.
They had been through a lot together; he honestly believed that there was no being in the whole wide world that knew him as well as the raven did. Sasuke could tell when he was upset or when he was hiding something, when he felt uncomfortable or when he felt pressured to do something. Sure, Sakura did too, but there was simply something about the way him and Sasuke had lived their friendship that made him feel some much closer to the other male.
He wondered if this was the reason as to why he had "fallen in love" with the rather stoic male.
'Sou kana?'- he though to himself as he reached his hand and placed it on the older man's shoulder.
Sasuke turned around and he gave the blond the most cryptic look he had ever seen on those dark eyes.
-"Are you okay?"- asked Naruto and he then realized he wanted to hear the other speak, he wanted to hear his voice so much; they had hardly exchange any words at all since they had gotten there.
-"yeah... I'm just... you know, worried..."- mumbled the raven and averted his gaze towards what Naruto thought to be Sakura's direction; he too turned to her and caught her looking longingly at the door leading to the operating area.
Even though she was a nurse, there was a strong policy of not allowing any family members or relations into the operations and so Sakura had been left to wait for the results.
He knew Sakura better than she gave him credit for.
People believed he never paid much attention to detail, but he did...
He knew she had approached him to get closer to the Uchiha, but back then everyone did, and to be completely honest with himself he enjoyed the attention he had received back then.
And so Sakura had stay around and tried to get closer to the closed up raven and all the while Naruto was trying to prove her, and maybe himself, that he was worthy of attention from anyone. And so little by little he made his way into Sasuke's cold heart and not later than that, he noticed that even Sakura seemed to have realized his true worth.
But he realized something back then...
He wanted Sakura to be happy... and maybe that happiness was embodied on Sasuke.
Naruto found he didn't like the feeling of it; he spent a great amount of time weighing his options.
But before he could have realized it, somehow Sasuke had settle himself into the blonds' life and found a place - both metaphorically and literally - on his life.
They got to an unspoken routine in which both of them were comfortable, and so why break that?
But that was when the blue eyed man started seeing Sakura's behavior towards both of them...
He knew what she had been through, he knew what kind of hell could that be; he himself had felt somehow identified with her story and so he had made the drastic decision of push Sasuke away. Maybe not quite obviously, but he had to, he needed the raven to realize the worth of their female friend and maybe, that way, both of them could be happy together...
However, at night, while lying awake on his bed, the idea seemed somehow odd, like out of place...
He had started dating Hinata back then.
She was a nice girl, shy yes, but beautiful and graceful as well, she had a lot of qualities to her that made Naruto feel for her.
Now, thinking back on it, it had been a great time with her... But somehow, it had felt like something had been missing...
'Maybe a penis...?' - he thought amused to himself as his eyes turned again towards Sasuke's dark ones, noticing just then he had not been looking at Sakura like he had first thought, but at the white wall right behind her, that somehow reminded Naruto of emptiness.
The blond man had always asked himself what the raven thought about whenever he was quiet, but had never asked him because he felt it was some kind of invasion to his privacy, however, this time, the words seemed to have escaped his mouth without him having any control over them.
-"What are you thinking about?"- he asked and as soon as the sound of his own voice reached his ears he felt the pulsing need to physically slap himself on the forehead.
-"You..."- mumbled distractedly the raven and Naruto noticed the other might had not even been aware of what he had said, since he was still looking intently at the plain wall.
Widen blue eyes stared at Sasuke's impassive face.
Naruto wanted so much at this moment to have his camera with him, take a picture of Sasuke's never changing face and store it forever more on his memory.
He clicked his mental camera to store the memory of this for later, for the nights maybe, when he felt alone.
The Star Wars Imperial March started sounding and Naruto could have sworn the sound came from Sasuke's back pocket.
The raven then came out of his daze; reaching for his back pocket, where indeed the sound was originated from and extracted his cell phone.
Murmuring a hasty "excuse me" he stood up and headed for the automated door leading to the cold outside of the hospital, not like inside it was any better though.
Naruto knew that to be Itachi calling, because who else would dare to call Sasuke at this unholy hour of the morning, whatever hour that might be.
He followed the retreating back of Sasuke until he got to the doors, he heard a small snippet of the start of the conversation as Sasuke said "moshi, moshi" - Naruto let a smile formed on his lips when he heard the words - and then at the other end of the line he manage to hear a few of the cut down words on Itachi's voice.
He turned around again, cracking a few of his bones and stood from the uncomfortable seat looking over to where Sakura was still standing, still her emerald green eyes were glued to the swinging doors.
Sasuke regretted having left the house without even bothering to grab a jacket. Even though it was nearing the summer, the nights in Washington could be cold at times and his bad luck decided this was one of those nights.
He made sure to tell Itachi to bring over a jacket for him and Naruto and before hanging up, he asked one for Sakura.
The raven could not be sure, because he could not see the other's face, but he could sense on the older male's voice, the knowing smirk forming on his lips.
When the raven turned around to re trace his steps back in to the ER waiting room, he found a man standing near one of those smoking bins they place at strategic spots near he entrances of places where there would be more likely smokers.
The man, much older than him, or so he looked like, was taking the last drag of one of his cigarettes, while fishing in his pocket for the packet to get a new one.
Sasuke approached him, feeling for the first time in such a long, long time, the need for the unhealthy habit he had dropped on Sakura's and Naruto's request.
-"Could you give me one?"- asked Sasuke as politely as he could manage, but his voice sounded somehow off and rough and so he thought of trying again, by adding a "please" a the end, but he was interrupted by the man handing him the packet and then the already lit lighter in front of him.
-"Thanks"- mumbled the raven after the first drag letting the smoke escape his lips and the nicotine linger on his system.
The two kept smoking in silence, neither of them feeling the real need to ask or to answer anything at the moment.
The automated doors opened up once again and Sasuke's dark eyes caught a glimpse of Naruto making his way over to Sakura near the desk. He knew the two of them would smell the smoke on his clothing and reprimand him on it, but for the moment he didn't care.
-"Who are you here for?"- suddenly asked the older man allowing the smoke to come out through his nostrils; when Sasuke saw that he tried to remember the sting it caused as if to not do it, but he ended up doing it anyways.
Sasuke didn't know what to answer, because, indeed, who was he here for?
Was he here to support Sakura? Was he here because he had somehow ended up bonding with that freakishly fuzzy-eyebrows? Or was he here for...
-"I'm here with family"- he said without letting his mind wander too much on a subject he was still having trouble dealing with.
-"A brother? A sister?"- asked the man and had it been any other situation Sasuke might have feel uncomfortable with the prodding, but he didn't seemed to care at the moment.
-"My sister's fiancé"- he answered and through the transparent doors he manage to see Naruto smile and hug Sakura and he couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips.
-"You must be really close"- commented the man as he took yet another drag from his cigarette, just two or three more and it would be over.
-"How about you?"- asked the raven feeling somehow bold to ask the stranger, but after all he had answered, had he not?
-"My wife"- answered the older man shortly, the smoke from his cigarette clouding his mouth.
Another silence settled in and the two of them regarded it.
The older man finished his cigarette and put it off tossing the cigarette butt on the trash can along with the packet that still had a few cigarettes left on it, but Sasuke didn't question it as he took his own last drag from his cigarette.
-"Thanks for the company"- mumbled the stranger dusting off some ashes that had fallen on his coat.
-"Thanks for the cigarette"- said Sasuke and the other man started making his way to the entrance when the raven said again: -"Hope your wife gets better"- he added.
The man stopped dead on his track not looking back and Sasuke wondered if he had gone and said something completely wrong. Damn be his social awkwardness!
-"She won't be"- answered the man and then turned giving Sasuke a cryptic look: -"She has terminal cancer"- he added as an after thought and gave the raven a sad smile: -"Love with all you've got"- he said and finally turned walking through the door leading to the ER and then disappearing in the flood of people awaiting in the plain white room.
Sasuke caught yet again another glimpse of blue eyes searching in between the people coming and going from the ER.
It felt somehow surreal, to be able to see Naruto like this; he was sure the blond couldn't see him, but those blue eyes were looking for him among the crowd, or so it seemed.
If the indeed was... that thought made him feel... good.
He finally made his way into the waiting area, his eyes glued to any other thing but Naruto's blue ones; he felt that if they made eye contact, the blond male would know he had been staring at him and that was not good for his manly pride.
'Yeah, very manly indeed'- he thought mockingly to himself, as he finally reached the group still waiting for any news on Lee's condition.
-"Itachi is coming over"- commented Sasuke just for the sake of saying anything and looked at Sakura instead of Naruto: -"Do you need anything from the apartment? He's gonna go over there and get me a jacket or something"- he asked and took note of Sakura's red eyes... he couldn't remember when had her emerald green eyes looked so sad.
Dark and emerald eyes crashed on an unknown understanding... It left them both feeling weird at having reached that kind of stage in their friendship, but at the same time is understandable, after all what united them was the blond now looking at them both, as Sakura's green eyes exchange inexistent words with Sasuke's dark own ones.
-"No, is fine. Thanks."- she mumbled suddenly averting her gaze as if coming back to a harsh reality, one in which the man she loves lies behind those plain swinging doors.
-"You look tired Sakura, maybe you should sleep a little"- comments Naruto as he places a hand on her shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
-"Yes, Sakura dear; you should get some rest. You told me you were here for a double turn, weren't you?"- added the older man, him too giving her what tried to be a reassuring smile, but felt more sad than anything else.
Sasuke kept looking at her as she pretends to be paying attention to the conversations and nods and gives them a fake reassuring smile. He doesn't say much and just walks towards the coffee machine to buy an espresso.
He's never really liked coffee and being completely honest, he hates the smell of it, it makes him think of family mornings that he never had while growing up. But when the three of them started living together at the beginning of college, it was an everyday occurrence to have that smell flood the house at the early hours of the mornings.
When the coffee was ready, Sasuke took it from the machine, letting the smell flood his nostrils.
-"Here"- he said after returning by Sakura's side: -"is an espresso. It'll help you stay awake"- he added giving her a knowing lop sided smile.
If there was any one that knew about her stubbornness better than anybody, that was the raven.
He remembered on their early days at junior high school, when she had started getting a liking for him; she always proved to be the most persistent of his "followers". Hell! She had even found out where he lived.
Sasuke knew immediately that she had approached Naruto and him as an attempt to get closer to him; he often found her shunning the blond. And before he knew it, he had taken a liking for the blond "nuisance" he had claimed to hate at the beginning... and no later than that so had Sakura.
Naruto, even though, always declared to need salvation more than anyone - and Oh God! did he need it! - ended up been the salvation of those two.
Soon the blond became the sunshine and joy of both their lives, there was simply no way in the worlds they could refuse him anything... After all, that was how they had ended up living in that apartment together in the first place.
If asked, both Sakura and Sasuke would deny it of course; but they both saw in Naruto their guiding light.
'Great! I have an idiot for a guide in life'- thought Sasuke amused and saw Sakura's own small smile grace her lips and knew her train of thought might have been going through the same path as his.
-"You two are being weird"- said Naruto furrowing his brow and looking suspiciously in between the two of them.
'This is what family is like'- thought Sakura as she eyed her two most important guys and the three of them smiled at some unknown happiness of been together.
Whatever musing the three of them might have had and shared with each other were to remain unknown as the door that led to the operating area swung open letting out a woman, not much older than Sakura, ripping from her body the blue operating gown, Sakura didn't missed the stains of blood on the front, but looked away as if not to know whose they were from.
-"Sakura"- greeted the woman and now, as close as she was at the moment, Naruto noticed the dark ring under her red eyes: -"Tsunade wants you in the operation"- she stated without beating around the bushes: -"Normally it would be considered against policy, but she thinks you could do a great job"- she said and then felt silent awaiting for the other woman's answer.
Sakura finally understood what people said about time stopping for an infinite minute...
All the memories of her life came rushing back to her.
She allowed her eyes wondered as if in slow motion over the three males standing in front of her, and just in that moment she noticed so many things about them.
Naruto looked skinnier – when had he gotten so thin? – and tired, but still his infamous grin lit up his tired expression; Sasuke too looked tired, with rings under his eyes, that his paler than normal skin, made stand out even more and she noticed then the Pj's – of course nobody else could tell the difference, but she knew the raven was never to be caught death wearing sweat pants and a fitting wife beater – and the lack of a jacket; then the older man, who too had rings under his eyes – had they been here that long? – but a confident smile plastered on his lips, as if he could see ahead in the future and knew everything would be alright.
Her mother had once told her happiness came in a bottle: Prozac. She somehow had always thought happiness was bound to come in the shape of something she could touch and control, measure and limit, but did it really?
She had often wondered if her happiness had come in the form of a male.
But now, feeling Naruto's warm hand squeeze strongly, but yet gently and reassuringly her own hand, and Sasuke's cold hand resting on her shoulder with a comforting weight, she had come to the realization that no, it did not came in the form of ONE man, but in the form of these two.
The secret understanding lingered a little longer in the air, as if to comfort her and push her forward, insuring her that it would be alright as long as she trusted herself and the ones she loved.
-"Yes, I'll do it"- finally said the green eyed female, letting a small smile take form in her lips.
-"When Lee gets better, we'll all go to the karate championship competition"- said Naruto finally letting go of her hand giving it one last squeeze.
-"Yeah, we'll all go"- repeated the raven earning an even bigger smile from Sakura.
-"Sure. I'll say Hi to him from you guys"- she said walking towards the operation area, the other woman already briefing her on Lee's condition and the details of the surgery.
Naruto felt this weird nagging on his mind telling him to reach over Sasuke and grab his hand.
That had sounded so, well... gay...
The blond couldn't stop the chuckle that left his lips.
-"What is so funny you dope?"- asked Sasuke with a questioning eyebrow; it had always amazed Naruto how the raven could do that, lift just one eyebrow, it didn't matter how much he tried he just couldn't do it, the two of them would shut up and he ended up with a more surprised looking expression instead of the desired inquiring one Sasuke always had when pulling the trick off.
-"Nothing"- murmured Naruto, a lop-sided smile gracing his lips.
When they both turned to the operation room' doors, Sakura's retreating back was gone and all that was left was that lingering sensation of wanting to say something else, something much more... much more...
They made their way back into the uncomfortable seats of the waiting room.
A silence settled in and none of the three males decided to break it.
Sasuke felt blue eyes glued to his neck and he briefly wondered if the blond could see the vein popping out on his neck; he rubbed at a sore spot on his neck while stretching on his seat.
-"Here"- said the blond and it surprised Sasuke that it sounded so tired and gentle; when he felt Naruto's hands massaging his back he tensed up a little bit, but then reminded himself to relax, there was nothing wrong on receiving a back rub from his… his…
Oh yeah… he didn't know what they were anymore…
He tried to remember if Naruto would usually give him massages on the back on public places before they had… well, kissed; but couldn't remember any such situation. Did this mean they were sharing some intimate contact only couples shared?
Sasuke couldn't control the shiver that ran up his spine, but he wasn't sure if it had to do with his trail of thinking or the fact that Naruto's hands were now on his lower back.
-"Relax"- he heard the husky whisper behind him and asked himself when Naruto had moved him so he was giving his whole back to the blond.
The raven tried to relax, but questions kept popping to his head.
Like what all of what transpired at their apartment meant.
They had kissed... and then they had... Oh Good God! They had dry humped each other!
-"You are not relaxing at all"- came the complain form the blue eyed man.
'Well, you try to relax while thinking what I'm thinking'- provided his mind, but he kept it to himself.
They were bound to have a conversation about it at some point and he knew it; however he felt uncertain on how to tackle the subject. Somehow 'So wanna make out and dry hump sometime soon?' didn't sound like the right way to approach the subject...
-"I have always wondered if you have a stick up your ass"- this time he actually felt the whisper near his right ear and tensed up even more: -"And now I might think you do"- added the blond in what could be thought of as jokingly, but to the raven sounded far more seductive than it should.
Damn! Naruto was been seductive under these circumstances!
Tan hands started working on his shoulders again and that made Sasuke less uncomfortable, but he could feel the proximity of the other by the warmness radiating from Naruto's body.
-"Are you trying to seduce me?"- asked the raven surprising even himself with his boldness.
-"I might be..."- answered after a few seconds the blond and Sasuke could have sworn he felt the other's fingers tensed on his shoulders as he massaged them.
-"This is a hospital..."- said Sasuke, but it sounded such a lame statement, of course this was a hospital! What else could this be?
Someone cleared their throat just behind them and that brought them back from whatever beautiful place they had decided to go to, and when they turned around their eyes collided with Sasuke's older brother.
-"Did I interrupt something?"- asked Itachi a knowing smirk plastered on his mouth.
Naruto was about to say 'No' and then laugh if off as he usually did with awkward situations, except he couldn't as he was cut out by the raven.
-"Sort of, but we can continue some other time"- answered Sasuke also allowing a smirk to grace his lips: -"Thanks for the backrub Naruto, I really needed it"- he added standing up and walking over to his brother.
The older version of Sasuke handed him his jacket and Naruto's and placed Sakura's pink sweater on the nearest empty chair, on his other hand rested a cup holder with four steaming cups of what smelled like coffee, but Sasuke could tell there was some Chai Tea in there for him.
-"Where's the bundle of happiness?"- asked Itachi eyeing the older man seated two seats from where Sasuke had been sitting that was looking at them with a sad smile on his lips.
-"She went in. She's gonna help with the operation"- answered the younger Uchiha taking the cup holder and sniffling through the cups, finally finding his tea and handing both Naruto and mister Gai a cup of what smelled like Starbucks house blend.
-"What is it?"- asked Naruto as he opened the lid, eyeing the hot liquid.
-"House blend"- answered Sasuke beating Itachi to it and then taking a sip of his own tea.
-"For not liking coffee, you sure know a lot about it"- commented Naruto also taking a sip from his own cup being careful not to scald himself.
Silence settle in as Sasuke took his seat again and Itachi walked over to Gai and introduced himself as Sasuke's older brother and Naruto's and Sakura's Aniki.
The blond couldn't help but chuckle at the name.
-"When I was brought here, did you have to sit here and wait as well?"- suddenly asked the silent younger raven not really making eye contact, his dark orbs fixed on his steaming tea.
-"yeah... Only a couple of minutes though"- answered Naruto feeling shy about saying this to him.
He wasn't sure why he should be feeling shy about that, but he did and it made him feel somehow exposed and vulnerable.
-"I would hate not been able to be by your side"- confessed Sasuke his eyes still glued to the tea; Naruto then noticed the other had hardly drank much from his tea.
-"I don't know if you remember, but Itachi said that when you got here you asked for me..."- mumbled Naruto and as soon as the words left his mouth he felt somehow stupid at having uttered them.
-"yeah... I did"- said the other hesitantly, still eyes somewhere else, but Naruto's blue one were now fixed on Sasuke's features.
-"I felt horrible, you know"- started saying Naruto: -"not knowing what was happening to you... and I got here later than Itachi did... had you..."- he didn't dare say what he had meant to say... what if that had happened indeed? If the other had died and he could had never gotten the chance to tell him anything... to kiss him...
Sasuke turned around facing the blond when he finally understood what the other had meant.
-"Had I died?"- asked the raven feeling a lot of things that couldn't be put into words.
Naruto felt this strange pulsing need to reach over and kiss the life out of him.
Their eyes crashed and everything else faded away. The sound became inaudible, the people became inexistent and all there was, was the two of them leaning to each other.
They knew it, it was going to happen, they were going to kiss again, in front of all this strangers, but they couldn't bring themselves to stop it, they did want to stop it…
Sasuke could almost feel Naruto's soft lips on his, just a little bit more…
But as they saw the inevitable approach of the other closing in, they heard a clearing of a throat as if far away in the distance.
But the sound brought with it the rest of the sound and faces, which came crashing against them like a slap in the face.
They both pulled apart, blue and dark eyes averted somewhere else but the others'.
However, a pale hand found it's way to rest on a tan one, fingers barely intertwined…