Okay... sorry...? I know it took like forever to update, but I have really good news!! I have a GREAT beta reader!! She's really good and her corrections were very helpful! So yeah, I hope to be working hard with her! Thanks a bunch S.H. Nina!!! You really helped me a lot with coming up with a better chapter this time...
I hope... hehehehe
So yeah, here it is! Chapter 8... It might feel a little slow, or maybe not, but is one of those necesary thing to do so yeah hehehe
Hope you enjoy it!
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Naruto wasn't surprised to find himself on the living room couch at three in the afternoon; the evening light of the sun filtered through the barely-opened curtains. Sasuke had closed them as they stumbled to the living room.
He heard the running water on the bathroom, the steam of the hot water filtering through the ajar door… Malevolent ajar doors!
He grunted in discomfort when the now-dry cum on his pants caused him to remember his present situation.
And what was that situation, anyways?
He had never been with a man before in his life; sure, he had fantasized about it, looked into it, done his research… But he had never had a dick stuck up his ass, or stick his dick through anyone's ass. Though he was pretty sure Sasuke was the active one in his relationships… if he ever had…
It was confusing that it wasn't confusing.
Shouldn't he feel doubt and regret and have an awkward moment in which he wouldn't know what to do or say? Yet, when with the raven, it had felt so natural and so… what was the word?
He decided that he was too tired to care for that, but knew this was going to come back and haunt him at some point during the day.
Naruto stood from the couch, the springs of the old piece of furniture cringing under the movement.
When the three of them had moved in together, Naruto had insisted on bringing this couch from his house; it meant so much to him. In this couch he and Sasuke had played video games till late hours in the night, Sakura and he had seen a chick flick for Sakura's birthday when her mother had forgotten, Hinata and he had shared their first kiss… and apparently now, Sasuke and he had shared… what had they shared anyways?
-"Agrh"- grunted Naruto confused, messing his bed hair even more.
They had not had sex, had they? Well, yeah, there had been some touching and humping included, moaning and grunting each other names and yeah, well, they had both come but…
-"We had sex…?"- he asked aloud and felt somehow stupid when he heard the echo of his voice ask the lonely room.
He let himself slouch back into the couch, his hand absentmindedly tracing the patterns of the rough fabric. He spotted a stain near the armrest and he immediately recognized it.
It brought back good memories…
For Sasuke's 18th birthday, Sakura and he had decided to give the raven a surprise party… Unfortunately they didn't know back then Sasuke hated surprise parties.
Besides, who is stupid enough to invite over a bunch of adolescents without adult supervision? Back then it had seemed like a great idea, except it hadn't been.
Sai, one of Naruto's friends had brought over a bunch of friends with him, most of them over 21, who had brought booze with them.
Long story short: that stain in the couch was to commemorate Sasuke's first close encounter with large quantities of alcohol.
Naruto couldn't stop the laugh that escaped his lips when he remembered the incident.
-"What are you laughing at dobe? Going insane already?"- asked Sasuke coming out from his shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, another around his shoulders for drying his hair.
The blond turned around startled by the sound, only to find himself more surprised to find the Uchiha looking all wet and sexy.
-"When did you become so sexy? I always saw your half naked ass pace around the house and now I find it all sexy and hot!"- said Naruto turning around, trying to remind himself that he was supposed to be confused and doubtful at this whole situation.
-"You think my ass is sexy?"- asked Sasuke though it sounded more like a statement and Naruto didn't have to turn around to see the self sufficient smirk on those lips.
-"Shut up! You must have drugged me or something!"- exclaimed the blond, pouting and pulling his legs up to hide his red face from the other.
The springs on the couch gave way to Sasuke's weight when he sited himself next to Naruto, in the same place where the stain was.
-"What were you laughing at?"- asked again Sasuke, his legs opened and the towel around his waist settling in the space in between.
-"You, actually"- finally answered Naruto trying not to look at the raven right now.
Damn it! He was supposed to be confused and run around wondering what to do! He shouldn't be feeling this comfortable around a naked Sasuke while his mind provided very vivid images of what they had done that same morning while standing in that same room.
-"And what exactly about me, did you find so funny?"- asked the pale man tilting his whole body towards Naruto's, his arm brushing against Naruto's.
-"I was just remembering the first time you got drunk"- commented Naruto and tried to look as nonchalant as he could muster while subtly moving his arm away from Sasuke's.
-"Ah, yes. My surprise party"- said Sasuke and inched closer to the other male, but felt him flinch slightly at the action.
It wasn't that he was not expecting some sort of weird reaction from Naruto; he had actually been wondering when the blond would go ballistic on him.
-"You are funny when you are drunk"- said the blond trying to relax his tense stance, reminding himself that this was Sasuke, his best friend, his housemate, his… what?
-"Well, at least I'm not pretending to be a cat and a Japanese one at that"- said Sasuke with mirth in his voice as he inched close and Naruto inched farther.
-"I'll take a shower"- suddenly announced the blond bolting from his seat when Sasuke's fingers brushed his thigh.
The door to the bathroom closed up with a light click, while Sasuke stayed seated on the couch.
He himself was not sure were his words and actions to the blond came from; sure, he had dated men and all, not so openly gay, but gay enough to know where his dick should go shall the opportunity arise.
Yet, he decided he was going to take it slowly with Naruto... but it was just so hard.
He allowed his wet head to fall on the couch's back and let his mind go in all directions; he rarely permitted himself to feel confused or indecisive, but whenever it came to Naruto, it felt like it was always that way...
He was not going to fool himself, he would jump the blond given the chance, but...
Raven hair got messed up when Sasuke stood from the couch and started pacing from one side to the other of the living room.
On the cabinets, walls and lamp tables around the apartment he could see all the pictures they had accumulated throughout all their years of friendship.
The first few of them were pretty awkward and just plain dumb, Naruto barely touching the Uchiha's shoulder, while a grimace that was suppose to be a smile was plastered on his lips, Sakura was on Naruto's other side, looking shyly in the general direction of the raven.
How long had it been? Yet it had not been long enough...
A week from that picture it had been his parents' death anniversary and it had been the very first time he had gone to the cemetery with someone else besides Itachi...
Why had they tagged along with him, till this day he asked himself that question; yet they had been there and he was secretly grateful for it.
There had not been whispered words of support, no cliché "I'm so sorry for your lost" and no "We are here for you"; after all, they were already there… Words weren't needed…
He didn't need a picture to remember the awkward, yet gentle way in which Naruto had found an excuse to hug him without it being about his parents... what had it been about anyways?
Something about Naruto feeling cold or Sasuke having something on his back...
Who knew? Did it really matter anyways?
They had hugged, as clumsy as it had been, they had hugged and that night Sasuke found himself spending the night at Naruto's, to Itachi's petition – claiming he was going out of town – after the visit; the first time in years in which he had managed to forget why that day was so important and sad at the same time...
It did feel weird, to have these sorts of feelings towards Naruto, but in a way it was only natural for it to happen after all.
Sasuke let his fingers slide through some of the framed pictures hanging from the wall.
It was sort of an out of body experience to look at his past in those frozen memories...
When had his expression become less sour? When had his lips learnt how to smile? When had his eyes learnt how to really read someone's soul? Whenever that might have been, he was pretty sure it had happened because of Naruto.
He lazily walked over to his room, not really feeling like he wanted to get dressed now. Maybe his trip to the past had taken a toll on his good mood; yet he knew that as soon as he saw the other again all bad memories from the past would be forgotten and he would feel the need to kiss him senseless.
He rummaged through his drawers not really conscious about what he was doing, while his ears seemed to be far more interested in listening to the sound of the house.
Sakura's room was silent and he felt himself smile with true happiness for the girl; she had really gone and found a good man that really deserved her... Unlike him...
So many thoughts were passing through his mind and it was really hard to pick one to think about, yet somehow they all found a way to go back to the blond now showering on the bathroom at the end of the hall.
The ticking of the wall clock was the only sound, besides the rustling of fabric that could be heard; a muffled sound of water running told him Naruto was going to take his time. And he didn't blame him for it...
Maybe it was a good idea to think things over... It was not like he was getting cold-feet or anything, he was just not so sure anymore…
Without really meaning to, he turned his computer on; the sounds of the machine starting kept his mind occupied from going in that other direction he was so desperately trying not to go to...
Yet, why not?
Some lose pants and a comfortable shirt on, he let himself fall on his chair in front of the desk, the glowing screen of his laptop hitting him in the face while he waited for the thing to finish loading. Still trying not to pay more attention than necessary to the sounds of the shower, he tried to refocus his attention back on the screen, his fingers already tipping away his password instinctively after having done it so many times.
He knew there was a report he should be writing, a few of the files he had been going through were scattered all over his normally tidy desk.
His camera - the same camera they had used to take a picture of themselves - lay still on the side of his laptop, as if mocking him for waiting so long to take the initiative...
His hands, moving on their own accord, reached over for the camera. He wasn't sure why his fingers were trembling while turning it on, but they were.
He felt himself try to swallow that lump on his throat that had formed at some point during the time he had decided to look at the picture.
-"Curious?"- asked a voice behind him, startling him.
He turned to find his female friend standing by the doorframe, looking both tired and smug.
He wondered how she could manage to pull both looks at the same time.
-"About what?"- he asked feigning ignorance and trying to pretend he had not been nervous about what was on that camera. He listened in closely for the noises in the shower and found the water was still running.
-"He takes forever, you know"- she said and took one step into his room, but stopped there; she knew it was not a good idea to come in uninvited into the Uchiha's "sanctuary".
-"Yeah, we should charge him extra for the gas and water bills"- said Sasuke turning towards his laptop trying to take importance out of his own words.
Sakura remained silence watching the raven browse through his documents pretending to be busy with something that was not even there to begin with. Yet, Sasuke thought that if he stopped and looked over to the green emerald eyes she would immediately know what had transpired between the two males.
Finally the woman sighed breaking the silence since she knew Sasuke wouldn't and decided to test her luck by taking one step into the male's room.
-"So… you and Naruto…"- she started saying but stopped when dark eyes turned to her, warning her against her next words.
They stood like that in silence, and Sasuke could hear the water being turned off.
-"Are you hungry?"- he asked standing from his chair and walking towards her. Even though discomfort could still be seen in his eyes she was happy to also find concern on those stoic eyes.
-"Yeah, a little"- she answered deciding to drop the subject as she followed the man to the kitchen.
She noticed he slowed down a little when he passed right next to the bathroom's door, but decided to store this for later, when she found an opening to bring it up.
Reaching the kitchen Sasuke opened the fridge and rummaged through its contents, finding a few things to make something light to eat. Sakura decided to enjoy it, and let him care for her as he rarely did it.
The door to the bathroom was opened and the female saw how Sasuke stopped his movements for a second, then continue with the sandwich, a smirk plastered on his lips.
-"Sasuke?"- asked Naruto, his blond head popping on the door frame and he seemed surprised to find Sakura standing there as well: -"Oh, hi Sakura. How are you feeling?"- asked Naruto suddenly feeling all self conscious about been half naked in front of Sakura; yet she saw Sasuke's eyes drifting back and forth, appreciating the other's body.
-"Go get dressed"- said Sasuke and Sakura thought she saw something different in the brief, but very meaningful look the two males shared; but it was gone as soon as Naruto turned around, without presenting much of a fight to Sasuke's words - which in itself was odd enough - and the raven tried to keep to his work of preparing a sandwich.
Naruto's presence lingered, the scent of water mixed with soap still in the air as the door to his room was closed shut.
The woman saw how Sasuke's lips were still up on a smirk, one that intriguingly enough looked a lot like a smile.
-"Did you get any sleep?"- she asked noticing the dark circles under his eyes, but not commenting on it just yet.
-"Some"- he answered curtly and handed her the sandwich as he too, took a bite of his own.
They ate in silence, both of them letting their minds go to places they most likely shouldn't be going to, but how to escape it?
Naruto came out of his room, hair still damp, but his face looked somehow a mix of tiredness and... What was that glint in those blue playful eyes?
Sakura had missed that glow on the blonds' eyes; during the last couple of weeks it had not been there, but now it had come back and apparently with full force if the grin before them was any indication.
-"How about you Naruto? Did YOU get some sleep?"- she asked and to Naruto it had sounded as if she had stressed out the YOU part, but why?
-"Yeah, I did,"- he answered uncertainly, fearing the malevolent glint on her emerald eyes.
Silence settled in between the three as Sasuke handed over a sandwich to the blond – and when had the raven done another one for him? – and they munched silently, unable to find anything to break the silence with.
They all could feel it, almost see it as if there was a pink huge elephant standing in the middle of the room, mocking them and their inability to say whatever they wanted to say.
Sakura tried, but failed, not to notice the subtle change in the air whenever Sasuke's and Naruto's eyes made contact, a small almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of their lips. She could almost hear the lingering words they were not saying out loud, but resonated in her ears in the deaf sound of the things she was never to hear.
-"I'm going down to the gallery, to prepare for the closing"- Naruto started to say and stopped looking at both of his friends; Sakura could tell he was thinking his words before speaking: -"You guys wanna come?"- he finally said and his eyes lingered a little longer on dark ones before turning to Sakura's.
-"Sure"- answered Sasuke lowering his gaze, trying to hide whatever emotion might be showing on his eyes.
Sakura still looked in between the two, not really understanding their interaction and at the same time fearing it… Fearing it might leave her out of it again…
-"I'm gonna head back to the hospital, visit Lee for a while"- she answered; she looked the other way, knowing that if she saw into Naruto's blue eyes she might see an emotion there she was not ready to see. Her eyes fell on the living room couch… The cushions were all over the place and a blanket lay on the floor…
-"Oh, yeah. Well, we can go with you and say hi to Lee, see how he's doing"- said Naruto fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, nervous about something Sakura couldn't quite put her finger on.
-"Sure"- she said as she started making her way back into her room, not sure why she wanted to go there in the first place, but feeling compelled to walk away from the kitchen, from the living room, from the two males that shared words she was never to hear.
Naruto heard the click to her room door, but felt it in his heart as a closing of some sort… And not a good closing.
Blue eyes hesitantly looked over to the raven still standing by the sink and were a little surprised to see dark eyes narrowed in the direction the female had headed off to.
The two of them remained in silence for what felt like forever, but in all reality wasn't much more than a few minutes. On Sakura's room they could hear the faint sounds of her passing and moving about the room, but neither of them felt strong enough to question what she might be doing.
-"I'll go change"- said the raven without a hint of emotion in his voice, but as he passed by the blond, his fingers brushed Naruto's side on his way out of the kitchen.
He didn't hear the click of the door shutting behind the Uchiha though…
He turned around to see, yet again that the door was left slightly open, as if it was an unspoken invitation… Yet he decided he was not quite ready to accept it.
Sakura's own door was shut, the noises inside her room now all but stopped; Naruto couldn't help but wondered if the woman had just made up that excuse to run away from them.
The blond felt his own body move towards the entrance, while his mind took him to places he thought were long forgotten…
He had always hated blood; he could imagine his parents covered in them even though he had not been allowed to see them at the funeral, the coffins had been shut and he found himself not having enough courage to open them and gaze at their loving faces for one last time.
But he regretted that.
He decided, as he saw the two caskets descend to their final rest underneath the earth that he would not run away from anything and he will see the faces of the loved one until the final moment… The final grimace of pain was going to become a reminder for him…
People always thought of Naruto as a happy-go-merry kind of person, nobody had ever imagined he could have dark depressing thoughts about life and death… but he did…
Sakura had promised he would not tell anybody… But when she had walked on Naruto cutting himself on the gym lockers room on a rainy afternoon after classes, they had both allowed themselves for the walls around them to fall…
The next day Naruto had flushed down all his razors…
When he finally reached the door he saw how his hand moved to knock on the wooden surface.
-"Yes?"- asked Sakura on the other side, feigning ignorance, though she had heard the approaching steps and saw the lingering shadow cast on the entrance before the blond had even found it in himself to call at her door.
-"It's me"- said Naruto and when he heard his voice sounding broken he cleared it and tried to find that cheeky smile that was so natural to him; maybe having dwelt on those memories hadn't been the best of ideas.
The female didn't say anything, yet to Naruto those seconds of silence meant so much.
His hand lingered on the door knob and his eyes searched the patterns on the wood as if looking for a sign, any sign of what to say next.
-"You should come"- finally the words slipped out of his mouth and he felt more at ease at hearing the slight more happy tone they carried.
-"I really wanna go see Lee"- she answered after a brief moment and the blond asked himself if she had to think about the answer she had given him.
Why were they speaking through a closed door? Weren't they supposed to be completely open with each other? But they couldn't… not now… not quite yet…
Maybe when Naruto found the meaning of his confusing – yet somehow so right in their own way – emotions towards the raven; maybe when Sakura's own insecurities faded away and she discovered how loved she was by both males… Then maybe the door would open up again.
Until then, they would have to settle with the faint smile they couldn't quite see on the other's face, yet could hear on their voices.
-"Call us"- said Sasuke and the blond surprised himself at not having even flinched at the close proximities their bodies were at the moment.
A silence followed the words and the three of them feared so many things, thought so many things… But none of them made it outside their mouths…
Naruto used his mind's eye to see Sakura's forehead pressed against the door as his was; it made him feel closer to her, even if she wasn't really. The comforting weight and heat of the pale hand on one of his shoulders made him lose track of time and space…
-"You've gotta promise me you'll never tell!"- said the blond; sky blue eyes searching on hers for the answer she might not be able to give him straight forward.
-"But Naruto…"- she said nervously avoiding his eyes.
On the white floor tiles of the bathrooms she could see a few red drops staining the otherwise immaculate cleanness.
-"Sakura! You've gotta promise!"- he yelled grabbing for her wrists that had found their way in front of her, as if shielding her from the images, the memories this whole scene conjure up on her.
-"But you said you were not gonna do it again"- she cried out not strong enough to push him away.
-"I…"- he started, but his voice wavered and for the first time he felt himself falling apart: -"Don't tell Sasuke… just- don't tell him. He'll think…"- he couldn't quite finish the sentence as they both heard footsteps approaching.
She could see the panic on the normally joyful eyes as he could now hear just outside the door.
Sakura pushed Naruto against one of the walls of the lining stalls and pressing herself against him, making a whimpering noise.
-"Naruto, someone might hear us…"- she said breathy while emerald eyes connected with blue ones in search of a response from the other… any response…
-"Don't worry Sakura, nobody comes here"- he answered playing along with her while he thanked her for the escape.
They heard an intake of breath – probably a surprised one – and then fast retreating footsteps.
The entrance door was shut forcefully…
When they came out of the stall, they failed to notice the backpack that had been left behind… A black one that read "Sasuke Uchiha" on the side…
Naruto wanted to shake the memories off, wanted the air around him to feel lighter, less stuffy.
Where had that memory come from?
-"Sasuke…"- whispered the blond, his voice broken and tired.
The Uchiha rested his head somewhere in between Naruto's shoulder blades, his hot breath gusting over the little of skin exposed.
-"Call us"- Sasuke repeated, though it didn't sound as a demand or an order, more a request: -"…please"- he added as an afterthought while his hand found its way to Naruto's hand resting on the knob door, almost as if asking him to stop it.
-"Hai, hai"- came the reply on the other side of the door and all of them could sense it without really having to see it… There was a hint of smile on their lips.
The two set of hands resting on the knob twitched with the sudden need to see the woman's face, to see her smile, to see her green emerald eyes… But something inside of them stopped them and the door was left unopened.
Sasuke pulled back, starting to make his way out of the apartment, pulling Naruto along with him.
Neither of them felt the need to say any goodbyes.
When Sakura heard the entrance door click shut she allowed herself to slide on her door all the way to the floor; there were not even tears to shed as she silently promised herself to be happy for the both of them.
The elevator ride was filled with a tension Naruto was not accustomed to, yet couldn't do anything to help it.
When the dinging sound told them they had finally reached the last floor the blond couldn't have guessed that he was going to come crashing against a wall, while his lips were assaulted by the other's eager ones.
Yet it was such a short moment and before he could properly respond, the touch was gone and Sasuke's retreating back was already heading towards the entrance.
A pair of girls passed by him, giggling dumbly at him.
He didn't feel like acknowledging the pang of jealousy in his chest when the girls purposefully brushed past him muttering a coy "sorry" while batting their eyelashes. It was a scene the blond was already used to having witness throughout several years, yet now it felt different…
When he crossed the glass doors of his building, Naruto was surprised to find the raven waiting for him outside.
Their eyes collided and a lot of emotions flooded Naruto and he wasn't sure which one to pick to concentrate on; the barely-there smile on Sasuke's lips, the way the light hit him by the side, hints of dark blue hues on the raven's black eyes, the humidity of the air causing the raven hair to stick and fall in bangs framing his face, bringing out the paleness of his skin.
Why was he noticing these little details about the other male when he normally pretended to look the other way, trying not to see what he knew was there…
-"Let's go"- said Sasuke not questioning the intense gaze the blond gave him and honestly enough, enjoying the attention he received.
It took the blond some time to come back from his self induced reverie, yet he felt happy to find black eyes looking back at him after having taken a few steps ahead.
They easily fell in step with each other, not really questioning why; after all, it had always been that way and it felt as if it was going to be that way always.
Naruto felt this pulsing need to reach his hand and grab for the other… But stopped before his fingers could brush against the pale skin.
Blue eyes took in his surroundings, falling on the people around him.
A couple on the other side of the street were arguing about this and that, while a mother dragged her two children to the bus stop. A good looking man walking toward them made eye contact with him.
Naruto could admit the other man looked nice; even handsome? But it didn't stir anything in him, not even when the other ventured a smile at having noticed the blue eyes on him.
Nothing…
The guy passed by him and their shoulder touched as a smirk graced the other's fine lips.
Nothing…
Sasuke's eyes were still glued to the road in front of him, making Naruto wonder if he had imagined the other man.
The stony features of the Uchiha gave no hint of what he might be thinking or feeling at the moment and the blond found himself in the very familiar situation of asking himself what the other was thinking or feeling.
Words were starting to form on his lips. Naruto could almost see them leaving his lips as he made the last attempt at grasping his own feelings at the moment.
-"I think I'm not homosexual"- he said finally, the words finding their way out of his mouth.
It took him a couple of steps to notice Sasuke had stopped dead on his tracks.
The look of utter shock and maybe anger plastered on the pale face was something Naruto rarely saw on the male and decided to take a mental picture of it, store it away on his memory to have something to look at later that night… or maybe he wouldn't be needing the image at all…
Sasuke saw him, expecting for him to elaborate, almost having to refrain himself to ask it.
-"I'm more like… Sasuke-sexual"- added the blond letting the smirk that had been wanting to form on his lips to finally surface and find its way into the outside of his expression.
The expression on the pale normally stoic face was worth risking a little bit of his manly pride.
It was a mix of emotions neither him nor Sasuke could name or precisely place as his own, yet they were there and there was no way in hell Naruto was going to let Sasuke hide them or deny them. They were there and as stupid as it might sound, it made him happy in a way nothing else had ever made him feel.
Naruto turned around and it took Sasuke only two steps to catch up to the blond as their shoulders brushed together.
The goofy grin they both had went unnoticed to everyone else.
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If you liked it, please tell me! is always great to go into one's account and see a good review hehehe
Ohhh!! And I didn't mention it at the begining, but
iluvedo I love you!! I gotta tell you, your last words motivated me yo work harder on this story!