Okay so yeah it took me long enough hehehe, but hey I just wanna be able to give you good quality instead of quatity okay?
So I'm feeling like this story is getting complicated all by itself, in my head it was gonna be a happy story, but now is getting angsty, yet I won't let that happen... somehow... hehehe. is just that my characters had seemingly decided to develop a personality of their own hehehe
Many BIG thanks to S.H. Nina for helping me out as my beta reader!!! Your corrections are amazing and i really apreciate all the work you are doing for me!! You're amazing!!
And well, here it is, I never really thought it would escale into such a long story, but blah... is already there and we'll se where the hell do this three fellows wanna take this story, cuz I'm ceartently not wirting the thing I wante dto write at first...
Reviews as always are very appreciated, it gives this humble author something to hang on to and the necesary motivation to keep going...
Thanks to all of those who actually take sometime to leave a nice comment, all of you guys have made my day and I apoligize to all of those reviews I haven't answer to, is just iskinda hard sometimes hehehe
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-"Sasuke…"- moaned Naruto as he was drove against one of the walls with Sasuke's thrusting hips against his.
This only fuelled the raven's lust and confidence, and smirking into the fierce kiss they were sharing he ventured a hand downwards to start unzipping the other's pants.
A million thoughts were going through Naruto's head, some of them of warning: Sakura could be there in the apartment and she could walk out on them like "this"; others were insisting on his hand moving to Sasuke's own pants and to start rubbing; and still some others were screaming how amazingly good this felt!
The Uchiha wanted to remind himself how he had decided to take it slowly with Naruto, let him get used to the new idea… Yet, when Naruto's tan hands found their way into his boxers, that idea went flying out the window along with the blonds' button up shirt that had been easily discarded by Sasuke's experienced hands.
He could still taste the cinnamon on Naruto's lips from their early brief stop at the bakery.
-"You taste like cinnamon"- whispered Sasuke into the other's lips, parting just briefly for air but then attacking the exposed neck.
He wasn't sure the blond had understand what he had just said, but it wasn't like it mattered much; the only thing that mattered right now was Naruto's hand on his hardened shaft.
-"Do I?"- mumbled Naruto not really listening to his own words as he was to enthralled on the dick in his hand, pulsing with an erotic need of being rubbed hard and rough.
The need was such a strong foe to fight at the moment… and neither of them was really interested on fighting anyways. As they were, it was impossible to stop at the moment. Whatever this might lead to, at the moment it did not matter, because they felt strangely ready to face the consequences of their hands working on each others' clothing, hands ridding them of unnecessary underwear, hands seeking to give and receive pleasure.
It took a minute for Naruto to fully comprehend how or when he had gotten on top of a bed in a dark room; the smooth feeling of the cotton comforter on his bare back felt soothing enough for him to forget all about doubts…
Yet, when he heard the creaking sounds of the beds' springs, it slapped him in the face, forcing him to stop all movements.
-"Wa-Wait!"- stuttered the blond, but couldn't stop the helplessness to drench his voice.
Sasuke's hands, which were now roaming through tan thighs, stopped at the hesitation on the blue-eyed man's voice.
A brief flash of light filtered into the room, showing Naruto how really naked they both were. Theirs eyes collided for the briefest of moments and the Uchiha's hand left the flushed exposed skin of the other as quickly as if he had been burnt by it.
-"S-Sorry… I should not have…"- it was a first for Naruto to hear the other at such a loss of words, yet it felt somehow comforting to sense the doubt on Sasuke's voice, as if he too was feeling nervous and insecure about the reality hitting them head on at the feeling of the mattress underneath them, the sound of the bed hitting the wall on time with their grinding against each other.
They were both panting heavily, the echo of their ragged breath the visible indication of their previous activities… than, and that only; it was all dark and they had not bothered on turning the light on, the outlines of their bodies in the obscure room could be hardly discerned by the filtering light through one of the windows.
The curtains were drawn shut, but little of the outside light made it through the fabric and into the room, not much though.
-"So…"- mumbled Naruto and it didn't surprise the raven one bit that it was that way, since he knew how much the other hated silence, even if it was a needed silence: -"This is…"- he was saying but stopped when he found himself at a loss of words.
Even if he'd tried, he could not have been able to see the other's expression. Sasuke was already sitting by the side of the bed and the blond could tell he was brooding.
-"…awkward…"- finally said the Uchiha after what had felt like the longest silence Naruto had ever experienced, but in all reality it had only been a couple of seconds.
Naruto's mind couldn't find a single thought to concentrate on, it was all so confusing and his mind seemed to be going every which way…
-"Are you asleep teme?"- asked Naruto hesitantly into the poorly lighten room.
-"Yes. And stop calling me that…"- answered the raven and then mumbled something that sounded like he was complaining about the Japanese classes his friend had almost "forced" him to take.
Yet in all reality he knew that, had he not really wanted to, he could have said no…
-"No, you are not! You just answered!"- shouted the blue eyed teen, or at least it sounded as shouting in the eerie silent apartment Naruto owned.
-"That's a reflex act to stop you from talking MY head off"- mumbled Sasuke sleepily, but the blond could tell he was very awake at this point.
-"I really hate silence…"- whispered Naruto and had the room not been so silent the raven might not have even heard it.
-"It figures. That explains why you talk so much"- answered the Uchiha, yet his voice didn't have an ounce of anger or mock… it had sounded almost concerned…?
-"Okay then! I'll shut up. Geez Sas, you're so mean!"- spat back Uzumaki, all the sudden feeling offended and frustrated.
Naruto had made an improvised bed for Sasuke to spend the night, since they had been working on their joint science project. They had both agree it was easier if he stayed, convenient even…
In all reality neither of them had wanted to spend that night by themselves.
The blond felt the weight on his bed and could clearly smell the natural scent he had come to associate with his friend.
-"Sorry…"-whispered Sasuke and Naruto had to strain his ears to hear the other.
Naruto pulled both his legs to rest his chin on them and just then noticed that he was still very much naked.
The silence was eating him away, as seconds turned into minutes and neither male said anything.
Not like there was something that could be said…
Blue eyes could see the blurry image of the human shape seated just a few inches away; the raven's breathing had even out, still there was something lingering in the air that made him feel heavy, as if the air around him would constrict him to death if he allowed himself to breath in the essence that the blond had left lingering on his own skin.
Sasuke's own thoughts were warring over which was more important. Yet his mind kept taking him to the past…
-"It's about Naruto, don't you care?! I thought he was your friend!"- exclaimed Sakura showing more anger and frustration than he had ever seen.
-"Whatever you two do on your free…"- he started saying fumbling with the contents of his locker to distract himself from anything else that could reach his mind.
Surprisingly enough, he was cut off by a very angry Sakura…
-"If it doesn't involve you in the equation, you don't care a thing about Naruto!"- she yelled not caring for the surprised looks they both received by their passing school mates.
It was around 6 in the afternoon.
Sasuke had had a meeting for one of his extra curricular activities, while Sakura had stayed for a cheerleading practice. Surprisingly the bouncy blond had call in sick that day.
-"You don't know anything about me and what I care for!!"- answered the raven with an anger twisted expression. Sakura had never seen him like that, so affected, so openly feeling something.
She stayed put, watching the retreating back of the pale man.
She had decided to approach him and tell him what was going on with Naruto, but it just simply had not happened the way she had wanted to…
It never did…
Sasuke had never felt like he couldn't understand or read Naruto, he was just like an open book to him; but there he was, wondering what the blond man was thinking, feeling… and knowing he was unable to ask the question.
The blond was not coping much better.
This pulsing need to know what Sasuke was thinking and feeling was normally one he could push aside and pretend it wasn't there to begin with, but not now. Now more than anything else in the world, he wanted to see his mind, see his expression, understand Sasuke's feeling as if they were his own.
-"Turn around"- whispered Naruto voice husky, yet demanding.
The raven's gaze that had been awkwardly looking at his lap, flew up, but he stopped himself from complying to the request. He wasn't sure he wanted Naruto to see his expression of utter fear and loneliness written all over his eyes.
The blue-eyed man allowed himself to follow the lines of the other's profile, clearly seeing the tensing and relaxing of his jaw muscles struggling to get the words out of his mouth.
And he caught himself thinking what those words might be.
-"What are you thinking?"- the blond ventured to ask the question, fearing the answer more than he ever had.
Finally Sasuke let out a sigh, from tiredness or anger, Naruto could not tell.
-"You"- he said, his voice sounded raw as Naruto's own had sounded to him; as he said it, Sasuke finally decided to make eye contact to convey what he was trying to say without words.
Another flash of light filtered in and blue and dark crashed for the briefest of moments before it was again gone… Naruto wondered to himself if he was going to be able to see that expression again on the stoic male, but knew that wasn't likely.
He wanted to say so many things, but none made it out of his mouth as the silence settled itself in between them, bringing with it a series of questions that were never going to make it out, a bunch of feelings that might never be shown and a certain phrase that had yet to be defined.
Again that ticking of the living room wall clock filtered into the room through the open door, reminding both of them of when they had heard that sound before…
Finally Sasuke made to stand from the bed, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, a tan strong hand that just minutes ago had been working on his shaft, trying to bring him to completion, to the edge of a cliff of which he wasn't sure he was ready to jump from.
-"I…"- they both stuttered doubtfully unable to convey anything at all.
Yet Naruto didn't let go of the shoulder and Sasuke made no attempt to push him away.
-"This brings back memories, don't you think?"- finally spoke Sasuke, his question said with a neutral tone, as if it was normal for them to be lying on his bed naked.
-"Yeah…"- mumbled the blond, a small smile already playing on his lips: -"It does"-
He heard the flushing of water on the bathroom by the end of the hall. He had never liked Sasuke's house, yet in a way he did because he could always play the Xbox over at his room.
He knew the raven was going to come out of the toilet soon and so he started a new game for the two of them to play. Sasuke was bound to choose the same player, he was such a habit animal, always so predictable, so reliable.
Yet, when 5 minutes elapsed and Sasuke had yet to make his appearance Naruto started to feel somehow uneasy.
He didn't like the resonating echoing sound his footsteps made on the empty poorly lighten hallway.
When he reached the door, his hand moved directly to the knob.
'Knock'- his mind reminded him as he did so… but no answer came on the other side…
-"Hey Teme! You okay there?"- he said, his voice with a small hint of worry, one that others might not see if they weren't listening intently enough.
No answer… Silence… Only the muffled faint sound of dripping on the other side of the door.
Naruto didn't even felt like thinking.
Knocking the wooden door he came in to find the younger Uchiha on the floor, shirtless and wet.
The water on the faucet was still running and one of Sasuke's hand was still holding onto his toothbrush, the tube of paste still left opened.
Placing one of his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, he helped the other to pull himself together.
Neither of them knew what to tell the other; they both felt fragile and words might make the atmosphere break apart, fall into small piece that could be impossible to piece back together.
-"I…"- they both stuttered at the same time, but couldn't complete the phrase.
Naruto didn't inquire and Sasuke didn't feel like sharing… Though that nigh they went to bed at 3 in the morning after playing for hours…
When they woke up, Naruto found Sasuke besides him on the make-shift bed they had set on the raven's bedroom floor.
They were now smiling at the memory, knowing for sure the other had been thinking about the same thing and feeling somehow at ease by that.
-"Let's get dressed before Sakura actually gets here"- suggested the Uchiha but made no move and Naruto wanted to think it was because he didn't want their skin contact to end.
-"Yeah, because SHE would feel awkward of walking on us like this"- commented Naruto chuckling, his hand was now traveling to the exposed back, fingers unknowingly trailing the bones on Sasuke's back one by one, almost as if they were memorizing the information… It might be needed for further use…
-"I bet she's seen you naked more times than I have"- commented the raven sarcasm dripping from his voice, but it went unnoticed to the Uzumaki.
-"Not really… After all she has never given me a hand job"- answered Naruto and surprised even himself at his boldness.
-"Well, aren't we cocky today?"- chuckled Sasuke darkly and blue eyes could easily see the glint shine on the inky black eyes.
A moment passed in which the paler of the two could not be sure what his companion might be thinking and could only hear the rustling of fabric as he felt the other move from his side.
He felt compelled to say something, anything from stopping the other from leaving, as he thought Naruto might be doing; yet his words died down on his lips as the ones of the other were now pressed down on his.
He was about to make a joking comment when he felt a hand on his hardening cock already working it up and down.
-"Na-Na…ruto…?"- breathed Sasuke trying as hard as he could to not sound needy, yet he realized he had failed when he saw the self-satisfied smirk on Naruto's lips, the same lips that were now going down on his abdomen and still heading southwards to much more sensitive zones of Sasuke's anatomy.
-"I wanna repay you… somehow…"- mumbled the blond as his mouth finally lowered itself close enough to Sasuke's groin. He could feel Naruto's hot breath ghosting over his heated skin and had to stop himself from moving his hand to the blond hair in front of him and push him forward.
Seconds felt like millenniums to Sasuke and all the words and thoughts that could have been playing on his mind went suddenly flying out.
-"Sakura is gonna take a while…"- mumbled Naruto and the raven couldn't hide the shiver that ran up and down his spine at the feel of the other's lips on the tip of his cock.
-"You don't have… Aggghhhh! Naruto!"- Sasuke was very much unable to finish the sentence and any other ideas he might have wanted to share were forever to remain unknown, because the only idea in his head right now were Naruto's lips on his shaft.
He could sense the hesitation on Naruto's actions, but he was known for being a fast learner – not that he was going to tell him that to the face – and was picking up on the "technique" rather fast; actually the faster the better now that he thought about it…
-"Nnnggg…"- one of them grunted and Sasuke hoped it wasn't him, but when he looked down and saw his hand now tangled on blonds' locks – how had that gotten there? – and blue eyes looking at him expectantly it all went to hell.
-"Ahhh! Naruto!"- moaned Sasuke now without reserves and he felt glad he had done so, because this seemed to pump Naruto's ego and push him to do it even better.
The Uchiha wanted to ask himself why was the blond so good at this and why was he so willing to do this if just a couple of minutes ago he had stopped the whole thing and freaked out on him, yet when the blond deep-throated him he simply forgot any other thoughts that weren't Naruto's name.
He could feel the well-known coiling feeling at his stomach, his toes curling and his hands pulling even harder at the yellow-y strands of hair he was holding onto. Sasuke was so close, so close to going over the edge, and he could almost see it at the other side of the bridge.
Yet it suddenly hit him, this was no bridge they were supposed to be crossing right now.
-"Stop!"- he demanded pulling Naruto's hair hard until he was certain the mouth pleasuring him was far enough for him not to be tempted by it.
Naruto's blue eyes were looking at him and just then the raven noticed how raged their breathing had become; he was panting furiously and Naruto too.
He could tell the tan man already trying to form the question into words.
-"You… I was… I was, going to come…"- he said still panting profusely, his hand having moved to his chest in which he could feel the rapid beating of his heart.
-"Well, isn't that the whole point?"- Naruto retorted as if not understanding Sasuke's logic and the Uchiha found it amusing how the other's voice could also have a little sarcasm to it.
-"You're… I'm… Let's just get dressed dobe"- said Sasuke struggling with his own words.
-"Awwww! Sasuke Uchiha is feeling self conscious! This is priceless!"- Naruto singsong dancing around in the darkness, but the raven wasn't paying attention to it – as appealing as the idea of Naruto dancing around butt-naked might be – and made his way to the light switch.
-"Don't turn it on"- said the mumbled voice of the blond right next to him, a tan hand covering Sasuke's pale own that was stopped mid-way to the switch.
-"Why not?"- asked Sasuke and he was more than sure the other could see his smirk.
-"Not yet…"- mumbled Naruto after a few seconds of silence and finally let go of the other's hand making his way to the living room, picking the discarded pieces of clothing from the floor.
Sasuke could faintly make out the other throw himself some of the items, not even bothering to look at them.
-"You know that shirt could be mine. What would you tell Sakura then?"- ventured Sasuke to ask a small smile on his lips as Naruto threw him some boxers and a shirt.
-"I'll tell her I was giving you head, but you didn't let me finish and so I ended up with your shirt"- he said fumbling with the jeans he was pulling over his legs, jumping up and down on his same spot trying to keep the balance: -"How does that sound?"- and he finally turned around and Sasuke was amazed he could see that glint on Naruto's blue eyes through the darkness.
-"Oh, it sounds just great! That way I wouldn't have to explain to her all the moaning and grunting that'll be coming from your room"- joked the raven as he catch the jeans being thrown to him.
The finished the dressing process in silence and the Uchiha was amazed Naruto was even able of such a feature, but grateful none-the-less.
The blond closed into him, letting his arms rest on his shoulders while his hands wrapped themselves around Sasuke's neck; it felt so natural for them to be doing this… and at the same time so wrong.
Sure, they'd spend a lot of time together while still in high school, to the point of having each other's house keys and a few spare change of clothing on the other's dresser. But why did it feel only natural for them to evolve into such a relationship and interaction in such a short time?
Yet when the gleam of a street light filtering into the living room through the closed window allowed Sasuke to see Naruto' blue eyes – eyes that reminded him of spring and summer, of breeze and wind, of quiet peaceful afternoon in the company of a napping blond – he didn't question his good luck anymore and leaned into a soft kiss.
It was the blond who broke it, trembling a little at the proximity of their bodies, remembering what they had been so close to do, but not commenting on it.
-"You're being quiet"- murmured Sasuke, his eyes glued to the other's lips.
-"Am I?"- answered Naruto with a question of his own, he too was very aware of the raven's lips, yet made no move to close the distance between them: -"Well, you're always telling me to shut up"- added Naruto and he let his eyes go to the chiseled pale neck.
-"But I like you better when you're noisy"- murmured the raven and let his eyes focus back on Naruto's lips as if searching for an answer to a question he had not even asked.
Blue eyes grew wide with surprise.
Sure, it was obvious Sasuke liked him in some level, otherwise they wouldn't be having this sort of conversation in the poorly lit living room of their shared apartment, but hearing Sasuke's own voice say something like that... it gave him a fluttery feeling on his stomach and he wasn't sure he was ready to face what that meant. Or maybe he was...
-"So quiet again..."- mumbled the Uchiha but didn't give Naruto the chance to answer, maybe because he was fearing what kind of answer he might get from the blond, but felt somehow at ease, happy even to be able to seal away whatever was Naruto was to say with a kiss.
They heard the quiet footsteps outside the entrance door and immediately recognized them as being Sakura's, yet they were not really ready to break the kiss. So they kept it, even if for just one more second... just one more second.
Sasuke heard the light click from the lock and knew it was time to break the kiss, but was somehow both happy and anxious at the fact Naruto didn't seem to think that way as well.
-"Sakura is here..."- whispered Sasuke into their kiss as he manage to see the filtering light of the outside corridor and knew the next thing the female was to do was to turn the lights on... and find them there... kissing...
When the lights were on, Naruto was already a few steps away from Sasuke, not looking at all concerned or flustered by their previous activities. In fact he sported the biggest grin Sasuke had seen on those lips.
Sasuke found his eyes roaming on Naruto. How did he know those jeans were his and not Sasuke's? Could he see in the dark or something?
Sakura's green eyes were traveling back and forth between the two males, one of them looking all happy and satisfied, while the other looked sort of confused and somehow lost.
The question lingered in the air as Sakura gathered enough courage to ask it.
-"What were you two doing in the darkness?"- she finally managed begging to all divinities in heaven for the hurt in her voice to go unnoticed by the other two.
It did...
-"Making out, of course"- said Naruto surely taking a step towards her: -"What else could two very handsome straights guys could be doing in the darkness?"- he asked playfully and yet Sakura could tell - yet not sure she wanted to repeat that sentence in her head for the rest of the night - he wasn't kidding about that, but somehow he was trying to take importance out of it... It was as if he was saying it without saying it; almost as if asking for her permission to say it. But she wasn't ready to give it...
So she just gave them the most sincere fake smile she could muster and hit Naruto playfully on his shoulder - or maybe it had been a little harder than she had intended seeing Naruto had winced slightly - and making an excuse about having had a very long day at the hospital, made a bee-line to her room, barely giving them time to ask for anything else.
They could tell she wasn't saying something, but somehow right now they weren't ready to try and fix it…
Maybe tomorrow, when she felt better and was in a better disposition. Or maybe when they talked and decided about their situation as a WE… But not now…
After all, if they had kept so many secrets from each other, what was yet another one?
Naruto had had the most horrible night he could remember...
And it was precisely that - remembering - what he'd been doing until the early hours of the next morning.
It had been such a long time since he felt like he was keeping a secret and felt guilty about it, yet he found he couldn't share it with anybody else besides the one involved in it... at least not yet.
Not until they found a name for "it", whatever that might be...
So many memories plagued his mind, bringing back both good and bad feelings.
-"Naruto, how are you?"- she asked on the cellular and the blond could hear the sounds of cars and conversation as background; she was outside, probably on her way to the mall, as she usually did on Saturdays, with Ino and some other girl friends.
-"Good..."- he answered unsure of what was she expecting to hear.
'Maybe something like: cutting myself' - his mind supplied and he couldn't help to chuckle at the morbid thinking most people thought he could not have on that happy-go-merry blond head of his... but there it was.
Silence and Naruto felt like he should say something, like he owed her at least that much.
-"I'm outside of your apartment complex; I'm going up 'kay?"- she half asked half stated and he froze in his thoughts and actions.
-"Weren't you suppose to be with the girls out shopping?"- he said combing his unruly hair nervously; even if he wasn't attracted to her anymore still, no one wanted to be seen with bed hair and probably a bad tired appearance.
-"You are more important"- Sakura said and the blond could hear her smile on her voice.
-Thanks..."- he mumbled before hanging up. He barely had time to put something more decent before he heard the soft knocking on his door.
Why were these memories hunting him now?
Sure, that had been a very important part of his past, one that determined a lot of his decisions in his present, but why now?
Was it maybe because it was a secret he had kept from Sasuke, the one and only thing he hadn't told him in their whole friendship?
It was not like the raven told him everything anyways... but this was somehow different.
Why? He couldn't tell what made it so important, but it was.
Even though he was a pretty fast healer, he still had well hidden scars on his thighs and he had not been completely sure he wanted Sasuke to see them just yet.
He wondered if the Uchiha was sleeping calmly on the other side of the wall, unaware of the feelings, memories and thoughts he had awaken on the blond.
But it wasn't a bad thing... it was just scary.
It was one thing that Sakura had known of his life. It was somehow okay to be weak in front of her; but in front of Sasuke he needed to be strong, he needed to be there for him when he needed him.
A dark, humorless chuckle left his lips.
Did they hide secrets from each other?
Did this mean each one of them fulfilled a role in each other's life?
Naruto wondered what kind of secret Sasuke could be sharing with Sakura; he wanted to believe he knew everything about the raven, but he knew than couldn't be completely true...
Sasuke had lots of secrets hidden deep inside him, some of them even Sasuke himself didn't know.
The haunting sound of the tickling wall clock on the living room was the only company and anchor he had to hold onto while traveling to the past.
-"So you're just not gonna tell me bastard?! Am I not your friend?!"- exclaimed the blond, but was shut down with a look that promised a slow painful death.
-"A friend doesn't have to know everything about the other"- mumbled angrily Sasuke and then stormed out of the corridor through the near by swinging door at the end of it.
Naruto followed him close by; he was going to get his answer at any cost.
-"But a best friend does"- said the blond once he caught up to the Uchiha.
Sasuke stopped his walking for the briefest of moment, letting his brain digest and process the information... Where they... "best friends"...?
-"I'll tell you anything you asked about me"- said definitely Naruto; sure this argument would convince Sasuke.
Yet Sasuke said nothing, asked nothing...
Minutes went by and dark eyes were glued to blue, searching them for a sing, for an answer to a question he had not really made.
The bell ringed, but neither of them made any move.
-"I had leukemia"- finally said Sasuke, the words uttered with such calmness yet with such uncertainty, fear almost.
-"See, that wasn't hard at all"- said Naruto trying to take importance out of the confession the raven had just made.
And the Uchiha felt sort of grateful for it.
Letting out a tired sigh, he turned to his electronic watch, the red glow of the numbers telling him it was already 4 in the morning, the dawn was nearing and his sleep deprived night was now coming to an end.
And still, he wished he could stay like this just a little longer.