After walking down the road a while, the two were suddenly in the Spooky Forest. Carlisle looked around. "Edward, we should be careful. We don't know..." Carlisle paused and looked down at a sudden beeping noise. A red piece of plastic had appeared in his hoof. It flashed once, then went to a view of the forest.

"The Spooky Forest," it said in a robotic voice, "is full of unsavory creatures, such as chatterboxites." It flashed to a new screen, displaying a pair of dentures.

"Chatterboxites reside in the Spooky Forest. They prey on small bugs and twigs, but have been known to swarm hikers in large groups. Their call is quite distinct," the plastic toy thing then played a recording, "bumpbumpbumpbump," and flashed off.

"Well," said Carlisle, "I guess we know what we are up against now."

"How are you holding that?" Edward asked, meaning the red toy.

"I don't know, Edward."

"You don't even have thumbs."

"I stopped questioning things five paragraphs ago," Carlisle said, and shrugged. "Well, I suppose we had better get going before-" He was cut off by a high pitched noised.

"Bumpbumpbumpbumpbump..."

Edward looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. "Oh no..."

"Bumpbumpbumpbumpbump..."

"Hurry Edward, jump on my back and I'll fly you to safety!"

"But, you aren't a pegasus, you're a unicorn."

"I'm hoping that maybe I'll grow wings as a plot device, now hop on!" Edward did, and Carlisle galloped and jumped.

Well, he didn't grow wings, but Edward had gotten so scared of the chatterboxites that he lost his lunch. Which had been converted into fairy dust by his digestive system. Carlisle whinnied in disgust, but hey, he was flying, so he wasn't going to complain too much.

Below them, the chatterboxites swarmed over the trees, eating them bare. From up high, they looked like those little gummy dentures you sometimes get on Halloween.

Well, after flying for a few minutes, Edward spotted the Troll Bridge. "Hey Carlisle, I've just spotted the Troll Bridge," he said. He pointed to a rickety wood-and-rope bridge strung across a deep gorge.

Carlisle looked at it in disdain. He would rather not walk on it, but Edward's fairy-dust-barf was wearing off, and he was loosing altitude quickly. He landed on the ground just in front of the bridge.

Edward climbed off his back and jumped on the bridge. It swayed and shook, but held up all right. "Come on!" he said, and started across it.

Carlisle walked onto the bridge slowly. He was nearly halfway across when Edward stopped.

"Carlisle," Edward said. "Caaaarlisle."

"What do you want?" Carlisle snapped.

"We're on a bridge!"

Carlisle snorted and speared Edward on his horn. Edward squirmed and gagged a bit, then stopped moving. Carlisle shook him off impatiently and continued across the bridge.

Edward stood up and healed himself. He scratched his head and caught up with Carlisle, who was almost over the bridge. "Hey Carlisle," he said, "Why is this called the Troll Bridge? I haven't seen any trolls."

Carlisle shook his head. "They only come out if there is something to flame."

"Oh." Edward opened his mouth.

"Hey, I know what you are thinking, and don't do it."

"Wait, I'M the one who can read minds."

"Yes, yes, anyway, don't do it. You don't want to be flamed, I can tell you."

"Oh pooh. I can take on a few trolls." Edward cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "TWILIGHT IS THE AWESOMEST BOOK EVER! ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT IS A STUPID N00B!"

All of a sudden, thousands of trolls swarmed up the sides of the gorge and flooded onto the bridge. They were all short, and armed with flame-throwers. One of them, who appeared to be the leader, stepped forward.

"Twilight is a horrible piece of garbage, and all of the copies should be burned." She raised her flame-thrower and burned Edward.

Carlisle hissed in sympathy. "I told you so." Edward didn't reply, as he was applying lotion to his 3rd degree burn.

Another one of the trolls shouted, "Twilight is the sexual fantasy of a deprived Mormon woman!" His flame singed Carlisle's luxurious mane.

Carlisle stamped his hoof impatiently. "Okay, you win, have any of you seen a wolf-man running around, or possibly locked up?"

A little troll stepped forward. "Ya, I saw him. We flamed him good, and blamed the forest fire on him, too. Smoky the Bear locked 'im up."

"Oh no, not Smoky," Carlisle gasped.

Edward looked at him quizzically. "What's so bad about him? Doesn't he save the forest or whatever?"

"Yes, but if Smoky is running the M.O.D. Jail, then it will basically be a furry harem."

Edward's eyes widened. "Oh. That would be bad."

Carlisle rolled his eyes. "Don't fake it, everyone knows you are a closet furfag."

Edward had no reply to that, so he just shoved through the trolls to the other side of the bridge. Carlisle was close behind him. "So, let's go get Jacob, kay?"