A/N: A summary of Katara's thoughts in the series finale.
Chapter 8: A New Relationship
A few mornings after the play, Zuko broke up our beach party and told us about the war meeting he had attended with the Fire Lord. Aang was depressed at the Fire Lord's horrible plan. Sokka stated his opinion on the matter freely, and I got understandably dramatic. I kept thinking about all the people who would die and all the land that would be destroyed if this plan was carried out. I just wasn't sure if I could live in a world where I couldn't stop the suffering.
"I can't believe this," I moaned, falling on my knees.
Aang was deeply upset about having to kill the Fire Lord. After yelling at Sokka and losing his temper, he stomped off to be alone. "Aang, don't walk away form this!" I exclaimed, storming after him. Then I felt Zuko's hand on my shoulder, stopping me. He told me to let Aang have some time to cool off. Maybe Zuko was right—I should let Aang deal with his problems himself.
The next day, we woke to find Aang missing and our hopes failing quickly. We reluctantly decided to search for Zuko's Uncle. After we found his camp and met up with the members of the White Lotus, Zuko prepared to face his Uncle. He was very unsure about it, and seeing him this way somehow made me sad. I wanted to make everything right for him, so I assured him that Iroh would be forgiving.
Zuko went into Iroh's tent but the old man was fast asleep. Before morning, Zuko came out of the tent and spoke to me. "Can I give you some advice?" he asked. "I know you were trying to help earlier by telling me Uncle would forgive me. But there's no way to know for sure. You want to believe that because it sounds right, but you can't go through life like that."
"What are you talking about?" I answered, a bit dramatically. "I'll believe what I want!"
Zuko looked startled. "Why are you so sensitive? I never said you couldn't believe what you want—I meant you can't go around making promises that might not come true. You can't make everything right for everyone."
"I can try," I answered stubbornly. Turning away from him, I was again aware of how challenged Zuko made me feel.
Zuko and his Uncle must have worked things out, because by midmorning we were all making last minute strategies to stop the Fire Lord's plan. Sokka was in charge of taking out the fleet, while Zuko would challenge Azula. We would wait for Aang to take out the Fire Lord himself.
I assumed that I would be going with Sokka, because I had to make sure he was protected and that the operation was really under control. Also, I thought that from an airship I might be able to see Aang's fight with the Fire Lord. I would be there if he needed help. As soon as I thought of this, I could feel the burden on me again. However, when Zuko asked if I would help him beat Azula, I did something rare: I made a spur of the moment change of plans to go with him!
As Zuko and I took off for the Fire Nation Capital, I wondered why I changed my mind so suddenly. Was it because of Zuko? Zuko was the only person who challenged me to let go of my burden. He wanted to make things right, without being controlling. He had struggled so much, but he was courageous enough to sort out the jumbled mess of his life. When I was around Zuko, I felt a new and exciting kind of friendship. And I didn't feel burdened.
Zuko surprised me by accepting Azula's challenge for a one-on-one fire bender's duel. "You're playing in her hands," I whispered. "She's knows she can't beat us both so she's trying to separate us!"
Zuko calmly told me that he was aware of this. However, he felt that there was something off about Azula, and that he could beat her alone. It made me feel helpless and nostalgic that Zuko was risking everything—the way Mom, Jet, and Yue had—and there was nothing I could to do stop him. After a while of fighting, Zuko taunted Azula, who then got ready to shoot some major lightning. I didn't notice her insane eyes suddenly turning toward me. A brilliant flash of blue lightning came out of her fingertips and rushed toward me.
I was going to die.
"No!" Zuko shouted. It seemed I was watching in slow motion as he jumped between me and the lightning. I watched in shock and horror as he fell down, faintly glowing from the electric energy. His whole body convulsed as the current went through it.
"ZUKO!!!" I yelled, breaking out of my trance. I rushed toward him, ready to heal him, but Azula blocked my way with a curtain of cerulean flame. For half a second I faced the hardest decision of my life; to risk everything and try to heal Zuko, or to fight Azula first. Right then I wasn't aware of how complicated my decision was, but looking back I now understand.
I could have healed Zuko then—I could have found some way—because I felt it was my duty and my burden to help him. But instead of doing the thing that would grant me superficial peace, I decided to take Azula out of the way first. If I didn't fight Azula, she would escape. She could kill Aang again or even retake the entire Fire Nation. I wasn't thinking about my burden as I battled Azula; I was making a free choice to fight for the good of the world instead of insanely protecting everyone in sight.
Only after Azula was tightly bound by chains did I run over to help Zuko. As I ran my healing water over his deathly still body, I feared that it was too late for him. I looked at his face and wasn't sure if I was imagining the slight flutter of the eyelids.
"Zuko!" I exclaimed, as I saw his mouth move and his eyes half-open. Tears began to pour down my face. I hadn't cried like this since that day in the swamp when I thought I saw my mother; but these were tears of joy.
"Thank you Katara," Zuko said weakly. He acted as if my healing him was some sort of favor; apparently he didn't take anything for granted.
"I think I'm the one that should be thanking you," I replied.
I would never, ever have expected Zuko to give his life for me. Aang was too important to the world to risk his life for one simple girl, and I understood that. Sokka would have given his life for me, but it had never come down to it. Besides my mother, Zuko was the only person who had put his life on the line for mine. It filled me with gratitude and respect for him.
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After Aang defeated the Fire Lord, it was several weeks before he could formally address the Fire Nation. First, he saw to it that the invasion force was let out of prison. Everybody was busy for many days, preparing for Zuko's coronation and the official recognition of Aang as the world's hero.
When the time finally came for the great event, Sokka and I watched from the ground. High above us in the royal balcony of the Fire Nation Capital, Zuko and Aang made their appearance. When I looked at Aang I was happy for him. I looked at Zuko too and felt what could be the beginnings of a new, inspiring relationship.
More weeks passed wherein we all took much-needed relaxation. One day in Ba Sing Sey we were altogether. Sokka was painting ridiculous and creative pictures of us, the dirty and uncontrollable Toph was laying flat on the tea table, Iroh was playing the Sungi Horn and I was keeping an eye on everyone. My attention mainly centered on Zuko, who looked infinitely kind and humble as he unassumingly served everyone tea. We all paused whatever we were doing to laugh at Sokka's art, but I suddenly noticed that Aang's laughter was not here.
I stepped outside onto the broad patio-balcony and saw Aang staring out at the city. He must have felt satisfied for the first time in years, but he also seemed lonely. I stood beside him silently. After a few seconds I noticed that his eyes were turned on me, and I blushed. There was worshipful admiration in Aang's childish eyes—and a question was there too.
He looked so cute and innocent that I answered his plea without a second thought. I put my arms around loosely his neck, and his own small arms closed around my body, as our mouths locked into a kiss. He had waited and begged for my affection for so long, and I thought he deserved it. I couldn't stand to see what happen if I refused to give him the attention he wanted.
As we stood there on the balcony I felt happy; but I was still just as confused. This may be the end of the war, but it wasn't the end of my inner war.