bold: bad/evil inner-side thoughts
italicized: good/kind-side thoughts
italicized parts inside of the -- : memories

I had no longer new the reason for my existence- I began thinking I was only born to suffer. But then there was a part of me- that small voice in the back of my head- that told me differently.

"The only reason you are here is to suffer- be hated – not cared for- no one cares about you."

"No. The little things make life great- its innocence. Be hated, be loved- it's all a part of life. Asuma loves you- he's told you that. Sandaime loved you- he took you in from the streets and gave you a wonderful home. You know better then to believe other then that."

"Asuma said he loved you- but he didn't stop you leaving. How does that show he loves you? If he did love you- he would have done everything to stop you. Sandaime died because of you!"

"No he didn't! He died protecting the village he loved. His home. His people. It's the right of every Hokage- and Tsunade-sama was only doing as she had to- protecting her people."

"I'm becoming just as insane as Zetsu-san- arguing with myself," I whispered to myself. That left me thinking of Deidara, and wondering how he was doing after his little 'Art Show' a couple months ago. Why I hadn't told anyone that he was still alive- I don't know. I guess a part of me decided that if he was a threat still, they (Konoha- or whoever) would figure it out themselves.

It had been a month since I had left Konoha. I constantly worried about how those that I had attacked were doing. Hanabi-san… Choji-kun… Kiba-kun… Rara… How could I have even brought myself to harm any of them- especially Rara. She was one of the closest people I knew- and she had always been nice to me. From the first time we met on the bridge, to the time when I felt like my world was crashing around me- she had always been there. Sighing, allowed my thoughts to wonder.

--

I felt a hand on my forehead- it was very warm, and my hands quickly held the warm hand to my head. I hadn't known how cold I was until then.

"You're very cold," a man's voice said softly, and then I felt something being put around me, and the voice say," Come with me." I felt my head nod- almost on its own- and then I was softly picked up, and held close. The body was warm, and I practically wrapped myself around who ever was holding me.

"Some one did come," the little voice inside my head said, softly and happily, and I felt myself slightly smiling.

--

I smiled a ghost as I remembered the first time I had met Asuma. He had been the one to find me, when I had thought no one would.

--

"Are you going to tell me your name or not?" the old man asked, smiling slightly. I couldn't tell if he was actually amused or getting impatient with me. I stayed silent though, not knowing if I could find my voice. I didn't want to get close to anyone- but I had already done that, by getting close to the other guy.

"Asuma," the little voice in the back of my head said, remembering his name. The old man sighed, and the sound brought me back to this world. I decided that if Asuma said it was safe- and this guy would help me, then I would trust him.

"Kameera," I said, and the old guy- who had practically given up, and had gone to get up- looked at me, with slightly wide eyes.

"Ah, you do have a voice," he smiled warmly, and I could tell he was truly happy," Do you have a home Kameera?"

"No," I shook my head," Everyone's gone….no one cares about me anymore..." His eyes softened and he sat back down.

--

I smiled as I remembered my first time with Sandaime- when I had allowed myself to slightly allow myself to believe and trust in others.

--

"No- that's all Kakashi," he said, and then turned to me," Kameera- please go with Kakashi. He'll get a room for you to sleep in tonight- then by morning, I'll most likely have a new family for you." I nodded, and Kakashi stood up- so I followed, and stood up as well.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Kameera," Kakashi said, and I blushed slightly.

"It's nice to meet you to, Kakashi," I replied, and I could almost see him smile beneath the mask.

"Goodnight, Kameera," the old man said, and I nodded.

"Goodnight."

--

My first time meeting Kakashi sensei- he had been the third person in Konoha I had met. He had been one of those that had always been there for me- and I was grateful for him- for everything he has done for me in the past.

-

"Is this her?" Kira asked and Sandaime nodded.

"Yes- this is Kameera," he replied, and then everyone's eyes landed on me.

"Wow," Rara said softly, and walked up to me with wide eyes. She touched my hair, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"Rara- be nice," Kira said, warning the young girl who was in complete awe- fascinated by my light blue hair.

"Yes Aunt Kira," Rara said in her little voice, and smiled at me," Hi!"

"Hi," I replied, a little unsure of what else to do. I noticed the one with brown hair slightly hiding behind Kira, holding onto Kira's shirt.

--

That had been the day- the moment- that Sandaime had introduced me to my new family- to Kira, Calael, Rin, and Rara. How could I have brought myself to ever hurt Rara… there was only one possible explanation- and it was as Tsunade sama had said- my empathy and the sickening family-bond I had with Orochimaru… How could an evil man like him ever have found a woman in the first place, I had no clue. I guess now all I had was that one evil man that I had been brought up despising- and that was where I had to go. As I began walking that path towards the one person I never wanted to admit I had left- I remembered Sandaime's words that day he had introduced me to Kira and my new family.

"….You'll never be alone- I promise." Somehow I became comforted by that- and I realized that even though I couldn't see him- Sandaime was there with me, every step of the way.