Chapter 18: The Burden of the World

Sometimes my life seemed so random and chaotic. I couldn't see what all these events were leading up to. I couldn't see the doom I was willingly walking into. I could see everyone else's chaotic lives—the terror, pain, and sadness that made up the yoke of the universe. I saw what I thought was my duty, to carry and pacify that burden in whatever way I could. That was my creed.

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Midnight in the Fire Nation palace, and I was wide awake. I was anxious. And even considered backing out of my plan with Azula—but no, it was too late for that. I rummaged restlessly through my belongings while I waited.

I found a heap of letters; these hadn't been redirected to the Earth Kingdom, and so I hadn't read them during my vacation. One was a letter from Sokka, several weeks old, and filled with ramblings about the University, its knowledge, its wisdom, and its on-campus cafes. He also informed me he was going to visit for the summer—and he would arrive tomorrow! The letter ended with,

"P.S. Don't be too mad at Zuko, okay? I know you guys disagree, and there was something between you anyway. Listen—I think the reason you're being so cold to him is because you've become so cold to yourself."

"Idiot brother," I growled, crumpling up the letter. "I'm not cold-hearted! I just have to make sure things go right. Heaven Forbid I let Zuko do the things he is."

I looked at the clock. The plan was in action. I had subtly ordered that most of the around Azula's cell were not to be on duty tonight. With few of them to fight and the promise of my backup, she would have no trouble breaking out. I placed a "do not disturb" sign on my door so nobody would suspect Aang I weren't here. Then I climbed out the window, threw a hood over my head, and went to the prison.

I met Azula just inside. "No trouble with the guards?" I asked in a whisper.

Azula indicated the corpses around the room in answer. I felt sick and said nothing. We quickly ran toward the palace gate, and there paused.

"Alright, you create the disturbance," I ordered. "About half those guards will fight on your side; I told them about the plan. I'm going to meet Aang."

According to our plan, Aang would have run around the palace locking and blocking doors to the soldiers' quarters. This would give him a head start and slow down the soldiers would normally rally at once to Zuko's side. Any other fighters would rush to the gate to fight Azula; hopefully, Toph would be leading them. Thus Zuko would be unprotected long enough for me and Aang to a few grim words with him.

I made it to Zuko's private room with little trouble. The guards were unconscious or tied, but not seriously hurt. I pressed my ear against the door and heard the voices of Aang and Zuko biting at each other. "I mean it, Aang!" Zuko was shouting. "Get out of my way!"

Just then I opened the door. Slinking through, I slammed and locked it behind me. Zuko was stiff and fierce-looking, and Aang was blocking his way.

"Alright," the Fire Lord growled, "what the heck is this? What are you two doing?"

"Zuko," I began austerely, "I'd say we have ten minutes before your soldiers free themselves, put the pieces together, and run up here. We've coordinated it. So here's how it goes: you transfer all political power to the Avatar right now."

"Why?" Zuko demanded hotly.

"Because this war and its goals are wrong!" I exclaimed. "The peace of this country—the lives of both peasants and nobles depend on me!" The burden of my world as I knew it was all on me. "So hand over your authority to Aang!"

"I think he could take it any time he wanted," Zuko replied, holding back anger. "He is the Avatar."

"I don't want to hurt you," Aang said sincerely. "I don't want anybody to get hurt at all."

"Come on, Zuko!" I shouted. "Do it!"

"Or what?" he challenged, clenching his fists in readiness to fire bend. "Katara, I never was too excited about ruling a Nation and being in control. But that's the difference between you a ruler and tyrant. Only one of them wants the power; the other humbly does what's best for the country."

"Don't call Aang a tyrant!" I barked, prepared to water bend.

"I'm not. If I willingly gave him control, you and I both know it wouldn't go to Aang. It would go to you, Katara! You're the tyrant!"

"Shut up!" I knocked Zuko against the back wall with water.

"Katara, stop it!" Aang intervened.

But I pushed him away. "Why can't you people understand? The burden's on me! This is the way it should be!"

At that moment there was a loud crash and the door exploded into a hundred wooden slivers. Toph jumped into the room looking more alert and alive than any of us. Sokka was behind her, staring at us all incredulously. "Alrighty, people," Toph announced, "start flapping hose gums and telling me what's up!"

"Toph! You're supposed to be at the gate," I said in dismay. "And Sokka? What are you doing here?"

"Intuition," he replied. "I wasn't supposed to be here till morning, but I knew something was wrong."

"Drop your stupid plan right now," Toph ordered.

"No!" I shouted, furious at the hellish girl. I whacked her with the water whip and separated her from Sokka. "Sokka, you're on my side, aren't you?"

Toph sprung to her feet before I could hear an answer. I attempted to knock her down again, but Zuko bounded forward and blocked my water with a fire ball. A second bomb of flying flame came my way; I had to throw myself down to dodge it.

My anger came stronger than ever as I screamed at Zuko, "How dare you attack me?!" somehow his aggression hurt far more than Toph's defiance, and I wanted to hurt him back. "I don't care what you say!" I continued screaming while water bending. "I've got too much on me to back down. This battle's already mine!"

"I don't think so," Sokka argued, seizing my wrists and trying to retrain me before we really started fighting. Zuko and Toph advanced threateningly, ready to pounce if I should move. Where was Aang? "You're not thinking straight," Sokka said, gripping me hard enough to leave bruises.

I jerked backward while pulling forward with my arms, flipping Sokka's lanky body over mine and onto the floor. Rage like I hadn't felt since the day I threatened to kill Zuko returned to me. Everyone was ganging up on me. Everyone was betraying me, and I was the one trying to make things right! There was nothing to do but fight. Wrathfully, I started to blood bend at Zuko. His body jerked as I controlled his movements.

A rock from Toph crashed into me, cracking a rib and scraping both skin and fabric off my side with the friction. Zuko fell like a limp puppet, temporarily free of my control. I staggered found my balance, and sprung at Toph. Her fist slammed into my cheek while my foot made contact with her stomach. We both fell to the floor with me on top. I breathed ice around her wrists and feet, trapping her. I heard Sokka and Aang shouting at me, but I avoided them and resumed where left ff with Zuko. I steered him clumsily to the wall and ten banged his head against it. He lurched, barely conscious.

Sokka threw himself at me, pressing me down with his superior weight and strength. He grabbed both my wrists together with one capable hand, keeping the other at the back of my head and forcing my face against the cold floor. "What is wrong with you, Katara?" he shouted, still on top of me. "Why are you so angry?"

I turned my head to the side so my words weren't muffled. "Why? Toph betrayed me! Zuko started a war! I had to act!"

"No you didn't!" Sokka snarled. "You've always been a little controlling, but this—"

I interrupted him, screaming shrilly. "You're my brother! If you're not my side you're worse than traitor! You're a coward! Aang, save me!"

"Oh, give it a rest, Katara!" Sokka retorted.

He was suddenly blown off me by a blast of hot air. Aang rushed over and pulled me to my feet. "Took you long enough," I huffed. Then I looked over at Sokka and hissed, "Screw you, coward!"

Suddenly Azula sprung through the window. Wearing simple prison clothes, with her face half-covered by raggedy, wild hair, she was hardly recognizable. "Al the soldiers at the gate are dead are dead," she stated. Blood and urns were all over clothes.

"All of them?" I repeated, incredulous. "All dead?"

"Or dying," Azula answered. "Now it's only the ones you locked up we have to worry about."

"We can take them," I said confidently.

There was a cracking noise as Toph broke free of the ice. "Time to clock out," she said hurriedly. She and Sokka helped Zuko to his feet and they all rushed out the broken door. Azula got into position to strike their backs with lightning, but I grabbed her arm.

"Don't."

She looked reluctant, but remembering our pep-talk, she obeyed.

The palace was all ours in a matter of minutes. Soldiers that were loyal to the Avatar stayed with us, and the ones loyal to the Fire Lord were driven out. The word would be out in a few hours that the new Fire Lord's short rule was over, at least for now.

I sat on a balcony with Aang while the rose sun. I felt I had accomplished a lot—a palace takeover without seriously harming any of my "friends." But then, I was still surprised it had come to fighting at all. Previously, I had felt certain that Zuko would give his power to Aang out of trust, and that Sokka's loyalty to me was irreversible. I was wrong on both counts; my friends had started the fight and refused my terms, and I would not believe that any trouble hereafter was a result of my own mistakes. Aang, on the other hand, was ashamed and distraught.

"We fought our friends, Katara," he said dismally. "It's not right. How am I ever going to please the spirits if I can't even be trusted?"

"I know it's upsetting, Aang, but we didn't start the fight. Zuko gave the first potentially dangerous attack, not us. What we're doing is the only way to have peace in the Fire Nation. It's the Avatar's job to make peace."

"But what about my friends?" Aang moaned. "Toph was my teacher and Zuko became one of my best friends. I wasn't as close with Sokka, but we were still pals. I owe them something."

I put my hands on Aang's shoulders and looked at his gentle face. "Listen. You can't keep moping around like this. Zuko's dethroned, and we have to make sure it stays that way just until he agrees to our terms. So you've got a choice, Aang. You can either help me, or you can help Zuko's bolshie team. It's either me or them."

Aang bowed his head, hating the choice. After a long silence he looked up and answered in a low, defeated voice, "You."

The Avatar was totally, completely mine.