Disclaimer: Must we go through this every time? It seems so. Well I own none of the characters or any songs I may use.

To my wonderful reviewers:

Mrscakeakajane-I am pleased to hear you are enjoying my fic. Hope I don't disappoint!

Femalfarrier/Anna-Yes I am a very bad person for stopping. Got to keep you hooked though!

Chapter Four: Cold Hard Truth

Severus Snape is a difficult man to surprise. And even if you did manage to surprise him you wouldn't be happy about because he would take points, give a detention or simply be a bastard to you for the rest of your life. So not many people would try or care to surprise him. Of course Harry Potter lives for doing things he isn't supposed to do. Like surprising his Potions professor.

When Snape enters Harry's mind, he expects the disorganized mind—like the one he encountered during Occlumency lessons—of a teenager, but no the Boy Who Lived to Shock just has to be different.

After landing in Harry's mind, Snape looks around to find himself in a plain white, circular room. And all around him were doors. Doors of all sorts. One was stout with a vent on the front; one looked to be a vault door, like at Gringotts, and one that looked to be the door of the Gryffindor dorms. They were all just random doors, but Severus knew that they all held certain meaning to the Gryffindor. Each one represented something and behind each door were the memories of what each one symbolized.

Tentatively, Severus made his way toward one that was shrouded in a black fog and was painted a deep blood red. Curious as to what was behind such a door in the mind of Potter, he opened it. It swung open easily and the Potions master was allowed to enter.

He was struck with pain the likes of which he knew too well. The Cruciatus curse is a bitch.

Then he saw the Dark Lord, small as a babe, and being dumped into a boiling cauldron. Next the duel between the Dark Lord and Potter popped in front of his eyes, the spirits of the dead floating about to save Potter.

And just as that memory faded the Department of Mysteries drifts into sight and Severus watches as Potter goes through hell to save the mangy mutt only to not be able to do anything as he falls through the veil. Well if he had just trusted the Headmaster… thought Severus but there was no real heat in it.

So this is where you are Snape. Interesting that you'd go to my worst Voldemort memories first, Potters voice slid over Severus' mind.

I am simply trying to figure out the meaning behind each door. Your mind is much more organized than before Potter.

Only the suicidal mind is this organized, Professor. If we have our priorities in order we can look through them and decide whether this is the right way to go or not. The second I thought of suicide my mind slowly began lumping memories together into categories so I could easily think of just one issue with my life and see all the things that prove that that issue is a real problem.

Well it seems there is one benefit of your self-destructive thoughts.

These the only memories you've gone through? Not very fast at this are you? It's already been ten minutes and you've only seen a fraction of the memories I dislike so much.

I haven't seen all of the memories behind this particular door?

Nope. Severus could hear the smirk in Potter's thoughts. You've seen the main ones though. I had many more visions then I let on you know. They weren't important, no information on what Voldemort would be doing. Just his usual torturing people and such.

Hmm. I'm guessing if I ask behind which door are the memories I'm searching for I would be denied an answer.

You would be entirely correct, sir.

Very well. Leave me be and let me get on with what I came here to do.

If you insist.

And with that the small awareness Severus had of Potter's voice was gone.

Thinking of the white room, he forced his mind to skip though going through the memories a second time to simply reach the door. Once more in the circular room he glanced around.

If only he could guess which doors held what. He shouldn't have been surprised that the door he just went through was for pain-filled Voldemort memories. The aura of the whole section of the wall where the door laid simply screamed of bloodshed. Taking another look around Severus surmised that the safe like door might be the way to go. It made sense, things not to be seen hidden by a massive door with a lock and key.

Severus made his way to the vault and pushed it open. He met with no resistance. He knew that he had chosen the wrong door again.

Inside this door was a flash of golden light and an intense feeling of happiness. Severus staggered under such emotion, it was pure and loving. Quickly righting himself, he looked around.

Harry's most treasured memories lied here. Hagrid giving him a birthday cake, getting his wand, getting Hedwig, meeting his soon-to-be best friends, flying for the first time, on and on it went. They were all small things. And as he grew older they became less and less.

Now, now Snape, what does one keep in a vault? Things they wish to keep safe, yes, but also things they cherish. Things they need to keep, precious things to be remembered and loved.

Severus had to admit Potter had a point. Just because you don't want someone to see something doesn't mean you'd keep them in a safe. No, you'd probably hide them in plain sight. A place no one would think to look. Severus knew exactly—in that one moment of thinking—where the memories he needed to find were stored. In the little unassuming door with the vent on the front. Didn't he hear Minerva say something about Potter living in the cupboard beneath the stairs as a child? (Of course he had written it off as rumors circulating as to why the boy wore rags). But maybe it had some merit to it.

Well Potter, it seems you have a point. But you just gave me the last piece of the puzzle as to where you might hide some things that you didn't want everyone to know. And for that I thank you.

Severus could practically hear the scream of frustration that Potter let out. He actually heard the mental swearing Potter was doing. Occasionally he even heard Parseltongue. He mentally smirked. Snape 1, Potter 0.

And so following what he had done before to get out of the memories that drifted by him, he found himself in the white room once more.

Looking around he found that the door he was seeking was no longer in the same place it had been before. As a matter of fact, he couldn't find the door anywhere on the surface of the walls. But of course Severus wasn't a master Occlumens and Legilimens for nothing. He walked around in the circle; trailing his fingers along the wall. If the cupboard door was simply concealed he would be able to feel the door.

Success! It was squashed between what Severus guessed to be dormhood memories and the vault. Pushing against it, he realized he must have the right place for it didn't swing open as the other doors he had tried had. You make it so easy Potter. This door was the last place I would have looked. Hide things in plain sight and they're never seen. Very Slytherin of you Potter.

I try. Good luck getting through Snape. This one's locked up as tight as a Gringotts vault. Harry's inner voice was unbearably smug.

Potter wasn't lying. Snape would have to do something drastic to get through to the memories he needed to see.

Why do you need to know so badly, Snape? Just tell them it was grieving over Sirius. They'll believe you. It's what they blame all my "abnormalities" on. Just leave it be. You don't care anyway. Leave. Just go away and get out of my mind.

Snape could tell Potter was desperate now. He really didn't want anyone to know what had caused him to think about suicide. But Snape wasn't just doing this for Dumbledore and Pomfrey. No he himself was curious. After running around unchecked in Potter's mind he had felt all his prejudices about Potter become false. He had a feeling that Potter was very similar to himself and he needed to know. Because deep inside his own mind Snape felt guilty. The last thing an abused child needs is to hear about how much someone who they have never met before hates them and thinks they're worthless for being born. They already get that from their attackers. And so Snape needed to know what made Potter try to do what the Dark Lord has been trying to accomplish since Potter was born so that he might clean his conscious. It couldn't have been his fault, but he needed proof.

Snape looked (or rather didn't) at the door that hid all he needed to know. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Snape was going to get through that door. One way or another.

Finally Snape thought of a way to get through. It was incredibly dangerous and stupid. He was going to be a Gryffindor for a moment. Gathering up as much power as he could muster, Snape rammed his mind with Potter's.

Snape fell through the door. And into a memory he hoped to never see again. But it wasn't the only one, pain filled memories, frantic pleas coming from each one. Sadness overwhelmed Snape as he scrambled backwards. He had to get out of here.

White room, white room, white room.

Vaguely Snape was aware of a cackling laugh in the background of the memories. It was Potter's.

Now you know. Do you feel better? Does it rest your mind to know? Go back now, go run and tell Dumbledore that his precious Boy-Who-Lived was ruthlessly raped! By the very people Dumbledore expected to protect me! It's not I that am fucked up for considering suicide Professor Snape, no, it's the world for not consdiering it

The mad laughter continued as Potter fell back into the deeper recesses of his mind and Snape high tailed it out of his mind.

TBC…

Do to seriousness of this chapter there will be no funnies at the end. Sorry…