((and yet another chapter written in my absence. I hate those ffnet people, I do. I hope they're reading this. Oh, wait, it might be "illegal" to diss ffnet! They're gonna ground me again! Fuck you, communist bastards. Ok, I'm done being pissed. Let me just say that no matter what anyone says, I don't care how immature my subject may seem. I try to bring realism to an unreal subject. This story is meant to be surreal in the reality aspect, when you stop to think about it... Hell, Stephen King was accused of being immature in his early years! Don't blame me for writing what I feel. This is just what comes out when I touch finger to keyboard.)))
Sonic: wait, don't tell me... Your parents read your work?
A:-sigh- what do you think?
Knuckles: don't worry about it. He just calls anything he doesn't understand immature.
A: Knuxieness, that was mean. Shame on you.
K: ... What?
Shadow: she said grapes.
K: ooohhh, I see.
: if I owned Sonic you'd be seeing my stories in comics and their stock would be going through the roof. Ok, I'm just a leetle cocky... :
Chapter 7- Ready for Anything
Tuskanon. What an insult. He thought I was better suited for some soft-footed aristocrats than an actual warrior. He had skill... And I had only been permitted a taste of it. I hoped Kai would fail badly. I wanted to see her decapitated body at the morgue when they brought me to identify it. That gai-jin makes me sick...
I found myself looking up at the elaborate structure of the Fairchild estate, shrouded in fog at the moment. I had to wait for the right time, and kill them in the right order. These things require such preparations. I had done this so many times before it was beginning to sink in as instinct, requiring little thought. That's what makes me such a successful assassin.
Cerebus, Ulna, Karpa, Tarsa, Radien, Patella ... There were more living in that household. The Fairchild family, like any royal family, lived only within the borders of their estate. Tradition ruled their everyday lives. And now that the two heiresses had returned, they too would perhaps share the fate of their predecessors. Well, not anymore. I assumed they would die by my hand eventually, if not as soon as their close relatives...
Cerebus and his wife Ulna would be the first. Then Radien, the younger brother of Cerebus. Excluding his wife, the next would be his daughter, Patella. The list went on, but sequence would follow in much the same order. The objective was to capture the twins alive...
But before that, I had to get into the place. My time would come... soon... Just after nightfall...
-o-
Boredom. Yes, that actually was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. Nothing had happened since I moved from Station Square to the large secluded house just outside the Mystic Ruins. Slim pickins'. That's what it was for me lately.
Could you really call me a spy anymore? A treasure hunter? Bah, I hadn't done that in three years! I don't even think I could start up again if I wanted! But the spy part was actually waiting on a very important call from a very important person...
And if the fucker hadn't called in three fucking years, I doubted he'd call at all.
Not that I'm down on my luck. Hell no! You oughta see my place! Jessica Simpson didn't have it this good!
Like I was saying, I was bored to tears. I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. Hell, I was still in my violet Chinese silk robe, flicking channels on my plasma screen. When I discovered it was almost noon, I thought maybe it was about time I got dressed. I got up and let the slick fabric drop as I made my way to my walk-in (hell, live-in) closet.
Hmmm... Versace, Dior or Gucci? Its funny to think even my casual clothes are designer-made. Comfortable, though. Dior it is! Just as I was reaching for the hanger, my sensitive ears picked up a shuffling noise...someone was in the next room...
He'd have to be pretty damn quiet to get that far into my house unnoticed. Lucky for me one of my gun drawers was in my closet. (the armory was downstairs). I keep 'em around the house just in case something like this was to happen. Unfortunately, I was clad only in a black lace bra and a thong. And it was a tad bit chilly, I might add.
I stepped cautiously to my bedroom door, listening carefully. When I heard his footsteps coming closer, I stepped into the doorway, arming my pistol and aiming it.
"Freeze!"
It was a weasel. He had a ski mask over his head and a pitiful excuse for a gun, now held in one of his raised hands. The guy looked about ready to piss himself.
"Who are you and what the FUCK are you doing in my house?"
"Ma'am, please... Don't shoot..."
"I don't have a good reason."
"Look, I'll leave... just... just don't shoot..."
My eyes narrowed. "Drop your gun and take off that mask."
He hesitated, obviously reluctant. He then obeyed, tossing his weapon aside and pulling off the mask.
"Well, Nack. Long time no see." I readied myself for the shot. "Any last words?"
"W-wait! No, please, hang on! I can explain!"
"I'll give you to the count of ten before I blow your fuckin' head off."
His eyes widened.
"One..."
It's amazing how fast weasels can run when they need to. Unfortunately I had been too pissed off to check him for valuables... mine in particular. I did a quick scan of the room, then ran downstairs. My master safe was still hidden, and all of my lesser safes behind pictures and bookcaseswere still locked. He hadn't stolen anything. Good thing I caught him soon enough. The only problems now were the fact he'd seen me in my skimpy lingerie and the fact that he knew where I lived. The next time I see that bastard, I swear to God...
Ok, cool it. He's gone. I locked all the doors, putting the safety back on my pistol and returning to the act of dressing myself. Well, at least SOMETHING out of the ordinary happened. Today was a good day, I thought. Just as I was slipping into a pair of stretch jeans, the phone rang. I tripped over my own pants trying to get to it, sweatdropping momentarily, then answering in a hurried voice.
"Yes, Mr. President?"
"Rouge! I have to warn you! There's word that a spy is in your area! Keep an eye out, will you?"
I sighed. "Will do." So Nack's a spy now, is he? What was he looking for here?
"Good. How've you been?"
"Same old same old. It's actually been pretty boring around here. I was kinda hoping you'd call."
"Don't worry, Rouge. You won't be out of work for long."
I wanted to jump for joy! Finaly! Work!
"Absolutely sir! I'm ready when you need me!"
"Great! I'll call you and fill you in when the time comes."
"Thank you, Mr. President!"
And I heard a dial tone. Well, that's how he was, never actually saying goodbye. Does it really matter? Anyway, I finished the act of dressing, pulling on a nice black satin shirt by Gucci. I know, mixing names. Sue me. Then I went back downstairs to fix myself some lunch.
;:; (Change of perspective)
As Rouge was digging through her large silver fridge, a slim blue form poked her head over a couch cautiously. She eyed the bat warily, ducking again and making her way stealthily across the room.
Once she was out of sight she sighed with relief, straightening a pigtail. She pulled a paper from the pocket of her star-imprinted flare jeans and unfolded it, looking it over for a minute. She then pocketed it, feeling the wall behind her until she found the hidden switch. She pressed it and the wall swung around, hiding her from view.
On the other side of the wall she found Rouge's hidden safe. She squeaked with glee, bouncing up and down a few times, then twirling.
The door was titanium steel, and the lock required a code to be punched in. In examining this, she found there to be both letters and numbers on the keypad.
She pulled a cell phone from her mini backpack and dialed on it.
"Uncle Nack, I'm in."
"Good, you're sure you weren't seen?"
"Yup. She's making lunch. What's the code?"
"Uhh..." He was silent for a long moment.
"Do you know?"
"Not exactly. You may have to cut some wires."
"No problem." She pried the keypad off with a small penknife. "Ok... It looks pretty new... I dunno... There seems to be some trip wires... Those'll set off an alarm and I can't tell the difference between 'em."
Nack sighed angrily. "You're the child genius. You figure it out. If you get caught, I'll leave you there and you'll have to fend for yourself."
With that, he hung up.
"Meanie mean mean old uncle Nack. I'll show him..." She pulled at her pigtails for a moment in thought, examining the wires closely. With a little squeal of delight, she found what she was looking for, and cut a green wire.
There was a loud clanking sound as the door unlocked itself.
"Ha ha! It opened! I did it aaalll byyyy myseeellllf!" she sing-songed, dancing here and there. Now laid the task of turning the large wheel. She gripped it and pulled downward with all her little ferret might, tail bristling from the strain. It didn't budge. She sat heavily, catching her breath. One more go. She stood, hopping onto the wheel and tried to use her weight to open it... but to no avail. Again she sat and panted. She dare not call her uncle back, but she couldn't get it open on her own. She put her little mind to work whilst staring at the door.
Just then, the wall behind her swiveled open, revealing a rather displeased Rouge.
"What are you doing in here?"
She looked up at the bat with large, watery yellow eyes.
"I...:sniff: I was out playing in the forest an' I got lost... an' I couldn't find mister Fuzzy, and then I saw a man with a silly mask on an' I followed him 'cause I thought he might know where mister Fuzzy was an' he went in here and locked me in an'...an'...an' I want my mommyyy!" she began to wail piteously.
"Oh... I'm... I'm sorry... here..." she picked the child up and rested her against her hip.
"Let's see if we can't get you home..."
":sniff: I'm hungry..."
"Uh... you like chicken curry?"
-o-
On a plane to Tuskanon...
It was Knuckles' first time in a plane...sure he'd been on the Egg Carrier before, and he lived on an island at about the same altitude at which most planes fly, but never had he been on an actual airline flight. Strangely enough, he was nervous.
Tails took the window seat before anyone could protest, and Knuckles claimed the isle seat whether Sonic liked it or not. So, he was stuck in the middle.
The flight was starting off rather boringly, Sonic thought. Even if they got to ride first class, he was uncomfortable. Cramped spaces always annoyed him. And to top that off, it was boring, as I'd mentioned. He'd read the "skymall" three times over in the first hour and now had nothing to do except flick peanuts at a sleeping Tails from time to time. He didn't even wake up. Not fun at all.
Knuckles was gripping the arm rests and staring straight ahead. The only thing running through his head over and over again were the images from 9-11.
He jumped as a bag puppet was thrust in his face.
"The plane's gonna crash! We're all gonna dieee! You may need me in a few minutes!" Sonic said in a squeaky voice, using a hand to make an air sickness bag talk.
"Damnit, Sonic, get that barf bag outa my face! What are you thinking?" Knuckles shoved it away angrily, sinking into his seat and glaring at nothing.
"Wow...touchy..." Sonic crumpled the bag and tossed it in Tails' direction...he remained asleep. (he's used to Sonic's torturing)
Another hour passed and our blue friend was still bored out of his mind. He had turned all three air vent thingeys on full blast and directed them all at Tails (Who only curled into a tighter ball and ignored it) and was beginning to run out of ideas. He turned to say something annoying at Knuckles... but found that he had dosed off. Perfect! He sneaked around the sleeping echidna, then tiptoed down the isle and snatched the little air bag and mouthpiece flight attendants use for demonstration.
"MMMFFF! MMM MMMMMFFF!" Knuckles heard as he was shaken awake. He turned angrily with all the intention of smacking Sonic for his annoyance, but when he saw the bright yellow plastic cup over his mouth and the wild look of terror in his eyes, Knuckles screamed in fright.
"I DON'T WANNA DIEEE!"
When he saw the worried looks of the other passengers, he realized the truth.
Sonic was giggling uncontrollably into the mouthpiece, trying to fend off the echidna's fists.
"When this plane lands, you will not be safe." he said with foreboding finality, slumping irritably into his seat.
-o-
"Karpa...what's this on my plate? And what do I eat it with?" I asked her in a whisper. There were at least seventeen different utensils, four little empty side dishes, three different glasses and the large plate in front of me with smaller plates on top. The topmost of these had five little dips in it and what looked like steamed clam insides in each. The smell of garlic was strong. I hate garlic.
"Escargot. Eat it. Don't complain." She hissed at me. I just shrugged, picked up supposedly the right fork, and popped one in my mouth. It was like chewing on month-old garlic-flavored used gum. I reeeally wanted to spit it out and excuse myself for the evening, but Karpa gave me this look...and it kinda freaked me out because that was MY look. I have to get used to the fact we're twins and we both look the same when we're angry. Anyway, I obeyed when she pinched my leg hard under the table. Mind my manners, mind my manners. I know. Next time she does that, I'll pinch back. I will.
I took a generous sip of champagne to wash the taste out. Negh! I bet she just made me eat something's brain! Rich people are so weird! You'd think with all that money they could afford something that tastes good.
Then this plate covered with these little bead-like things was held out to me by the butler/servant/waiter... person.
"How do you take your caviar, miss?"
"Caviar? Isn't that fish eggs?"
I received another painful pinch in the leg and almost cried out. Bitch...
"Uh...how about on one of those little toast thingeys?"
The servant person nodded. "And which variety would you prefer?"
There was red, green, orange, black...wow, I didn't know there were so many kinds of edible fish eggs. Nasty. People actually EAT fish eggs. Ok, what the hell, we'll try the orange ones! I pointed at them and he put some on the toast and set it on one of my side plates.
Ok, I'm going to pretend to eat it and toss it under the table... and hope no one notices... Just as I was going to take a drink of water, she up and pinched me again. This time I pinched back harder, giving her an expression of "What'd I do now?"
"That's your finger bowl, you git!"
"What the hell's a finger bowl?"
"You dip your fingers in it to clean them after eating finger foods." She whispered harshly with a hand to her forehead.
Just then, my dad... nice to have an actual dad... Stood, tapping his butterknife against his champagne glass.
"Here here, I'd like to make a toast..." He raised his glass. "to the newest member of our family. The lost daughter has come home to us!"
Everyone pompously stood and raised their glasses as well... everyone being supposed nobles and other members of my family I hadn't even spoken to yet...
"Here here!"
Well, that's an odd thing to say...
;o; (change of perspective and time)
Shadow was sitting alone on Karpa's private veranda, looking out at the moonlit sea from the suspended bench swing he reclined in. his mind was reeling with something akin to inspiration... the restlessness of the "undone" and endless possibilities. The only problem was, none of it made actual sense. As most right-brained thoughts go, all of the mental connections were subconscious and therefore often absurd and abstract. Pieces of fragmented memories and dreams swelled into one swirling mess inside his cerebrum in his current state of half-consciousness.
"Jai guru deva..."
It had slipped from his lips almost without his knowing. What did it mean? It meant something, he was sure of it...
"That's Indian, isn't it?"
He turned his head to the sound of the young voice, seeing nothing in the blackness.
"Who are you?"
"It's polite to introduce yourself first, you know." A little girl with the same accent as Karpa, he deduced. She stepped into the blue moonlight, wrapped in a fluffy blue blanket. She was an echidna of a yellow-peach hue with curly white locks dressed in a baby blue nightgown. She walked around the bench and hopped up next to him, sighing and pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
"It gets cold at night here, even in the summer... but the ocean's so pretty when the moon is full. Don't you agree?"
"Yeah... by the way, my name's Shadow."
"Patella Fairchild. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
They sat and marveled the view for a moment.
"How old are you, Patella?"
"Six next January."
He chuckled. "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
"Nanny had too much wine and she'd gone to bed early. I was on my own. And I've lost my bear..."
He laughed a little. "You're smart for your age, right?"
"That's what they all seem to believe. It's interesting you said Jai guru deva without the Om at the end."
"Om? You know what it means?"
She sighed again, snuggling up against the dark hedgehog.
"Yes, but I'd rather not get into it. I'm rather tired, you see."
"Not me. I can't sleep." He shifted his position to make her comfortable. She yawned, draping a tiny arm across his midsection.
"I'm glad I met you, Shadow. I miss my bear..."
"I'm sure you'll find him tomorrow."
"mmh..."
After a long moment of silence, he looked down to find she'd drifted off to sleep. He wrapped an arm around her to keep her blanket from falling and gazed out across the tempestuous ocean for a while longer.
((I can't think of anything more I want to put in and it's long enough already. Plus I'm missing iron shef and if Sakai loses, I'll be miffed to no end.))
Sonic:-dressed up like the chairman and biting a pepper- wait... peh! I hate peppers...