Chapter Six:

Anima Distrata

"Twiggy, fight me."

Videl turned her head with a start. They were all staring at her expectantly. The soldiers, the commanders, the officers, but above all the captain.

"E-excuse me sir?" She asked in a hoarse voice, barely even louder than a whisper.

"You heard me, Twig. Take your sword and fight me." Commanded the captain briskly. The was no trace of doubt in his voice. It was an order and brought as an order should be brought. Highly authoritative and with the confidence of a man she learned to know and admire from a distance.

Yes, admire indeed. He was an extraordinary man, captain Marius, whose second nature was fighting and whose life was dedicated to it. Courageous, proud, honourable, powerful, who didn't fear pain, death or fear itself. He was a symbol of all that was invincible and strong in this life, like a rock in the vast current of the river. It gave her hope that he was fighting with them, leading them, as if nothing could happen when he was there with them, in the heat of the battle that was to come soon. And now the man she had come to respect so much asked her to face him, head-to-head, in a battle that would prove his might and her weakness.

He looked at her sternly and she knew she had no choice. She had to fight him right here and now, in front of all these people, all her friends, all her superiors. If it was someone else, any other person who had to take his sword and fight the captain, she would have felt sorry for that person. To prove yourself under these circumstances, with everyone watching, judging, laughing when you make a mistake, and against such a powerful opponent. You honour and dignity was at stake. And now it was she who was in the situation. And she could honestly say she wished it would have been someone else.

She took her sword out of its socket, but the moment she got it out she dropped it out of her shaking hands. A few of the soldiers who stood in a row behind her sniggered in muffled chuckles as she dropped the sword, making her confidence sink even more. That was mistake number one. And she was sure that it wouldn't be the last.

This was not her. Videl Satan was a great martial artist, not that clumsy rookie she appeared to be right now. It was all the people around her, watching her with critical eyes, that almost made her freeze and smother at the same time. She wanted to refuse to do the thing she normally loved, fighting and fighting for honour. But this was a battle she'd lose one way or another, and everyone would witness it. Everyone could see her failure.

And they would see it.

With a face as red as a red apple she took she sword in her hands again, holding it tightly for fear of dropping it again. Her hands were sweaty, as her forehead was. She felt that all eyes were on her, watching her every move, as if they spun invisible ropes between them and her, limiting her in all her movements. Cautiously she took a few steps forward, until she was less than thirty feet from her captain. The captain hadn't moved a muscle, had not even drawn his sword. He just stood there, watching her with the severe look that was characteristic for him, waiting for her to make the first move.

Videl shivered and gripped her sword harder. The sweat drops dripped from her forehead and her breathing quickened. All the time she counted till three, but never did she make a move when she was at one. Always delaying, always stalling and the captain kept waiting for her.

A gust of fresh air suddenly came over Videl, cooling her perspiring face, and she decided that this was the moment in which she would draw swords with her captain.

One deep breath…

And she dashed forward.

She suddenly woke up from her dreams. There had been a sound that pulled her to consciousness again. But now that she was awake she didn't know what the sound was and where it had come from.

Looking around she saw that it was still night when she opened her eyes and the only light in the room came from the crescent moon in the black sky. She noticed her head hurt. She tried to move but whenever she did, she became dizzy and so she put her head down on the pillow.

What had happened to her? Was she run over by a horde of rhinos or something? Did she fall off the roof? She didn't know. She couldn't remember. She looked at her hands. They were bound in bandages, carefully and tightly, but the red stains were visible. Her hands were bleeding underneath the white fabric. But she didn't care. All she cared about was the pain in her head, the sound that had woken her completely forgotten. The thing she wanted most right now was not an answer to all the raised questions, no she just wanted to go to sleep.

Sleep…

She thought of her dream. The battle between her and her captain. She remembered it all too well. It was the first time she had to endure the pain and shame of defeat. He didn't even draw his sword.

It was a painful memory. Never had she doubted her strengths and abilities up until that moment. Before she had always been invincible, she was the best fighter at the court. But the world outside of the court was of a whole different level. It didn't even compare. She was a nothing when everything mattered.

It took the captain one blow. One well-aimed hit across the temple, a hit that would have been deadly had the captain not controlled his strength the way he did. It was brilliant.

She unconsciously dozed off again, being in the blissful phase of pre-sleep. Her surroundings were a vast blur, her mind cleared, the pain flattened. If only she could stay like this forever, still awake but asleep, conscious but unconscious, no dreams, no worries, no nothing. She suddenly was pulled to reality again when she heard the sound that had woken her earlier.

It was a low, guttural growl, coming from the shadows in the corners of her room.

She remembered it all now. It all came back to her. That's why her head hurt, that's why her hands were bleeding, that's why she was lying here in bed. At the time she didn't know what had come over her. She saw the rose branches, all the way down to the ground and she decided to take her chance. She had known it was stupid, but she had to try, she had to escape. Even though her hands had to grab the sharp thorns on the braches, she had to at least give it a shot.

But he caught her again. One blow, one hit across the temple. So simple. It had taken no effort at all. Just like the captain.

She had lost again.

"What is the matter, Princess? You remember it again?"

She froze. There was his voice, he was still there in her room, observing her as she lay there in bed. And by the sound of it, he wasn't pleased. A cold fear crept up in her being. How angry had she made him?

"Come here." He demanded icily. The edge of rage in his voice was unmistakable.

"My head hurts." She replied in defiance, determined to keep her fear hidden, even though she dreaded him right now, and what he could do to her.

It was silent for a moment and she stared into the darkness. She half expected that he would step into the light and drag her into the shadows, but he didn't. Instead he spoke again. And it wasn't pretty.

"You… will come… here."

Shivers went down her spine when she heard the pure rage in his voice. The words were spoken calmly, but no one could have missed the threat in them. This was the first time she felt genuine fear for him again. She hadn't had that since the first few days she was watched by him.

She was afraid to step into the shadows. But to be frank, she was more afraid of what might happen when she didn't. He couldn't kill her, and that wasn't what she was worried about. She had to stay alive after all, on the King's orders. But at the same time she knew that there were worse things than death. When she was in the army, she knew torturing prisoners were common practice. Captives were starved, mutilated, scalped, and the screams… She had learned pain could be worse than death.

Would he hurt her however? She didn't want to think of it. She didn't want to think of all the things he was able to do, what he could do to her. She only knew she had to keep her head held high, face whatever punishment he might have in store for her like a daughter of her father, like a Satan. And so that was what she did. She suppressed her fear and she rose from the bed and with difficulty, as her head still hurt, she walked to the darkness of her room. As she did, she felt the apprehension turn into nausea with every step she came closer to the darkness.

And then she was blinded by the shadows. She blinked with her eyes and tried to see any shapes or contours of her furniture, something that at least gave her an idea of what she was looking at, but the black darkness was everywhere, all around her. When sight failed her, she listened to every sound in the room. She heard him breathing somewhere, through his nose, loud and rapid, but she couldn't figure out where he was. Cold panic struck her heart and her breathing quickened.

It was maddening. To know that he was there, obviously watching her and Videl felt like a prey being observed and followed by her predator.

"Praetorian?" She asked weakly, looking around, looking everywhere for just a shape in the shadows. There was a deadly silence.

All of a sudden he grabbed her wrist and that she was turned around violently. She nearly cried out loud when she felt his large hand gripping her with strong force. She felt a breathing on her face as she was pulled against his chest hard.

"You will never do that again." He hissed as he pressed his chest against hers. The hard armor he was wearing hurt her in her breasts as he mercilessly pulled her against him. She couldn't move, she couldn't see, she could only listen to his threats and pray it would be over soon.

"You will never try to escape me ever again." He continued menacingly. "You won't consider escaping, you won't dream of escaping, you won't even think of escaping. Because do you honestly believe you could? A spoiled little brat that knows nothing of anything? Well, do you?"

"I-I…" Her breath caught in her throat as she failed to find words to speak with. She had never seen him like this.

"You thought you wouldn't be caught? That you could just run off that easily? That you wouldn't be discovered by me or anyone else?"

He grabbed her by both of her shoulders and roughly shook her, as if he tried to shake some sense into her. Too frightened to struggle, Videl let him, hot tears stinging in her eyes as fear overcame her.

"Call yourself lucky that I stopped you, the palace guards would have killed you before you could even blink, before you could even make a death wish. I saved your life today, you owe your petty existence to me now."

He bent down and brought his eyes to her level and despite the darkness, Videl could see the glistering in them. If she hadn't been in this current situation, she would have been amazed by it.

"I've sworn to protect you." He hissed furiously, his hot breath tickling her face. "It was an oath I've made to my King… and to myself. If you even try to escape again I won't be as merciful as I was today. I will let the guards have you and you will face a greater punishment than you do now. Don't test me, Princess. Do not. This is my first and last warning to you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Tears dwelled in Videl's eyes. Never had she been spoken like this to, and never had words stung her this much.

A spoiled little brat that knows nothing of anything…

Your petty existence…

Even he said it.

Desperately she bit her lip, trying to stop the tears from falling down, but a few of them already rolled down her cheeks. She was terrified and hurt and her whole body shook, like a frightened lamb that had just escaped from the clutches of the wolf. She just wanted to lie down now, and she wouldn't mind if she never woke up again. What was the use of living in a golden cage? No hope for alteration, only a great, devastating desire for something that was out of her reach.

Freedom…

She tried to stop her tears, but when she realized it was in vain she let them drop freely. At the moment she didn't care that he saw it, saw the weakness of her. He already thought she was weak anyway so what did she have to lose? She lost her honour long time ago.

Suddenly she felt his fingers brushing her cheek, gentle and tender. She didn't look up. It was as if she saw everything in a rush. It was all unreal, as if it was a dream. Her head was lifted up, she felt a breath against her lips.

Hopeless…

Pursuing her freedom was hopeless…

What were her chances in this world? Where she was prisoner of her own fear? Where she lived only because others allowed her to? Where there wasn't anyone who cared about her?

Hot lips covered hers. Warm arms wrapped around her body.

There was nothing to live for.

Nothing in the void of the darkness. Nothing in the cold sunshine, the empty light of the moon.

Her own reflection turned more gray every day.

The brightness of her being broke.

Was it over now?

She was intoxicated by the soothing warmth. It was lovely. It was like a hot summers day in the meadows of the castle in the country. Or the sand on the beach, heated by the burning sun, crawling through her toes. This was what heaven should feel like. Probably even what heaven would feel like. Angels must have brought her here. That meant it was over, she was saved.

And she opened her eyes slowly to welcome heaven, but instead she was brutally pulled to reality. She could feel the blood leaving her face and her heart stopping.

She pushed him away from her, resentment filling her entire being.

"Don't touch me." She whispered. She didn't see him anymore but she knew well enough that what happened had been real.

He had kissed her.

"Stay away from me!"

And as she yelled these words to him, she walked away, away from the darkness to the safe sanctuary that was her bed, bathing in the pale moonlight.

He had kissed her.

She didn't even change into her nightgown, she didn't even remove the white make up on her face. She just cried herself to sleep, feeling violated and dirty.

He had kissed her…