Chapter Seven:

Contemplatus Praetorii

Was there anyone more stupid than him at this moment?

Even ice cubes were smarter than him after this, what the hell was he thinking?

In his modest chambers, deep under the surface of the earth, Gohan restlessly lay in his bed. It was daytime now, which meant for him that he was allowed to catch some sleep before the sun would set that day and he had to go to his post again to guard the Princess. But this time, the young Saiyan couldn't catch the sleep, because of the foolish thing he had done last night.

He had kissed her.

Her, Videl, the Princess of the Earth, the one whom he was supposed to protect with life and death and now he had kissed her.

How could he?

It had been a strange night that night. Her first attempt of escaping. She hadn't plan it, she just made it all up as she went. Improvising is what he called that. Climbing down the rose branches, foolish enough to think she'd succeed and outsmart them all with such a simple plan that even a three year old could have come up with. Even his little brother would have planned his escape more extensively if he'd been in the Princess's position, and that meant something.

He had hit her across the temple and she fell unconsciously in his arms. The temple, one of the crucial points in a human body. Too little power and it only caused a really bad headache, too much and it would mean someone's death. Fortunately he knew how to proportionate his power to the strength of his opponent and with one easy hit she was out already. The weakness of the human race.

He took her to her room again and put her on the bed. He washed and put bandages on her wounded hands, that had been damaged by the sharp thorns of the rose branches and he retreated to the shadows again, waiting in his fury until the Princess woke up.

Gohan rose from his bed and walked to and fro through his room, arms crossed and a frown plastered on his face.

Oh, he had been so angry with her. How dare she even try to escape? She was treated as an honour guest and still she had the nerve to throw that all away and escape the grounds where she had it so good. Is this the thanks what his King received, after sparing her life and treating her like the royal she was? That girl knew no honour or respect or whatsoever.

But at the same time he knew he was only fooling himself and that he wasn't being honest. That she was disrespectful to his King was understandable, to a certain degree. He didn't know if he'd be treating King Hercule with respect had he been taken captive and forced to stay at the court as a prisoner. He was the enemy after all, and he was sure Videl looked upon it like that the exact same way.

The reason that he was so furious with her, so angry that he had the urge to hit her and to be violent with her… to hurt her, was…

It was betrayal.

She had betrayed him.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Princess. I shall protect you with my life. I shall die for you, if I have to."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes, tears shed because she was frightened of him, tears because she was lonely, tears because she missed her former life, but above all tears because she didn't feel safe and secure.

"You don't know me and you'd give you life for me? Why?" She asked weakly, looking at him with those big blue eyes that were always so distant and cold but which were now warm and vulnerable.

"Because I am your guard, and I will do what is best for you." He replied confidently, hoping to inspire some hope in her. He couldn't take crying women very well, especially crying girls. He never had.

"Will you release me when I ask you to?" She asked him with regained power, wiping the tears from her cheeks and her eyes, her white make up completely ruined.

Gohan chuckled a bit. He got a persistent one this time.

"It is not my place to release you, only my King Vegeta can decided about that." He replied. He was already sorry for his answer, because he saw the young Princess watching her hands as she sat on the bed, struggling to hold back her tears, her bottom lip trembling with the despair that had come over her. And as she sat there, he found her beautiful.

He had to admit, he felt sorry for her. Being so far from home, from her father, from all that was familiar to and loved by her, to be abducted to this place where she knew nothing and nobody and where she was likely to spend a very long time if the King of Earth didn't decided to concede the wishes of King Vegeta. He could imagine that she was scared, only he didn't know how to make it better for her.

"Princess," He started softly, and she turned her head to him, watching him with red eyes and parted lips, and he found himself amazed by her as the moonlight revealed one side of her face and barely shone upon the other. She was a stunning picture and he had to regain his cool before he continued.

"As long as I'm with you, nothing will happen to you. I will protect you… even from yourself, if it's required. Where there is darkness, there I am. You can rest assured about that. For now my life is devoted to you. I will be your one and only loyal guard, no one else, only me. And no, there will be no chance of escaping, because either I or the other guards will stop you and even if you could fool us, you will never get off these lands by yourself anyway. But you can try to make the best of it, be patient, explore the lands of the King, read the most amazing books, see animals you've never heard of, experience things you never thought were possible, and enjoy my protection as you do. It is all what you make of it, and know that you are not alone, because every night when you return to your room, I will be there, waiting for you, offering you some company, and I always will, for as long as you will be under my guidance. What do you say, Princess?"

She looked at her hands again and seemed to be in deep thought. After taking a deep sigh, she replied.

"It's really the best I can get, isn't it?"

Gohan smiled in the darkness, even though he knew it wasn't seen by Videl.

"Okay then, whatever." She mumbled sadly.

"Will you not escape?"

The Princess smiled bitterly at his question. "You just said it yourself… As if I could."

And with that she stood up and walked to her bathroom, making herself ready for the night as Gohan retreated to the corners of the room again.

It was betrayal, she said she wouldn't try to escape. All this time he had been there for her, comforting her when she was sad, talking to her when she was lonely, kissing and caressing her when she felt unloved. And now she had thrown that all in the wind and attempted to escape the palace, the King…

… and him.

All the nights of sweet affection they gave to each other, of holding her in his arms, of whispering gentle words in her ear, of touching her silky skin… They meant nothing to her. She could just as easily forget them as she forgot that she said she wouldn't try to escape. If she could leave him that easily, what did he even mean to her? Was he just the guard, just the enemy? Wasn't he at least a friend, if not almost a lover? Didn't she have the emotional attachment he had to her?

Questions…

Questions he didn't have an answer to, questions of which he wasn't even sure why he asked them.

Gohan sat down on his bed again and buried his head in his hands.

What was wrong with him? Of course she would eventually try to escape. He saw it every day, Videl wasn't happy. Even more so, she was miserable. She hardly ever smiled, she was cranky and cold all the time, she cried in her sleep. It had only been a matter of time before she would try to get out of the place that she hated so much.

He had just hoped that he had made it more bearable for her. So bearable that she'd have more peace with staying than escaping vainly. That she perhaps wanted to stay…

… because of him.

He realized that it was vain hope, that it was impossible to expect from her that she'd want to stay only because he happened to guard her. Even though her escape attempt was the clumsiest and most simple one he had ever come across, it was he who had been the fool tonight.

Because his emotional involvement had been too much, too strong. He had now crossed the point where he didn't want her to escape because he was ordered to keep her here, but because he wanted to keep her here for himself. And that was a dangerous thought.

He had grown too fond of her, she made him smile with everything she did, she could be so mad at him and he would love it every second, she made his heart beat faster when he just saw her image, he thought about her and he was happy when he could return to her.

All the while he brushed it off and kept saying to himself that he just liked her company, that it was harmless, that he could be totally indifferent to her if he wanted to.

But now everything was different. She was more than just a nice company to him, and he wanted her to be more. What that was exactly, he didn't know either. He only knew that whatever this was that he felt for her, it had to stop, and the sooner it did, the better.

If only he hadn't been so stupid tonight. He could slam his face into the wall for what he has done. Twice.

Kissing her…

He knew it was forbidden, even at the time he knew. Kissing her was over the line that defined what was safe and what was forbidden, and he had crossed the line with both his feet.

When he saw the tears rolling over her cheeks freely, his anger instantly disappeared and his heart melted. She had rare moments of vulnerability, when she took of her mask completely and showed him she wasn't the cold, tough woman she appeared to be, but the lonely, intensely unhappy girl who needed security and warmth.

Softly he caressed her cheek with his fingers and his heart nearly sank when he saw the deep sorrow on her face, and he hated himself for the outburst she had been forced to see. A whirlwind of mixed emotions went through him.

It was wrong…

It was wrong…

It was so wrong…

But he didn't care. Not about his King, his oath, his fatherland or anything else that would make this impossible and forbidden.

And he kissed her lips.

He grasped his hair with his hands and groaned loudly as he remembered it again. It had been so wonderful, finally tasting those lips after months of longing for them. If he could do it all over again, he wouldn't even doubt one second and he'd kiss her like he had before.

Only it was stupid. Not only because she tasted too good, so sweet, that he was sure that he'd gotten an addiction out of it, but also because she pushed him away after several long seconds.

She didn't want him. If she did she wouldn't have screamed at him, wouldn't have told him not to touch her and to stay away from her. He had felt a stab in his heart when she did. He had been thinking about that for a long time. He had been angry with her for turning away from him. It all came down to the same as with the escape attempt. Clearly he meant nothing to her, she had no feelings for him whatsoever. Nothing.

Now that he thought with a clear mind he couldn't blame her for reacting the way she did though, it was his own stupid mistake after all, but that didn't take away that rejection was painful, especially hers.

But then, as he thought if it now, perhaps that was for the best. He had to emotionally detach himself from her in order to take his distance. He had to be solely her guard again, and keep himself from matters such as friendship, affection, attachment.

It was good, it was better this way.

Only…

Why did it hurt?

Gohan lay down on his bed again, sighing deeply as he watched the ceiling. In a few hours he had to face her again, had to be her guard again. Could he pretend that nothing had ever happened between them? Could he be indifferent towards her? Feel nothing but the need to protect her because of his own duties required him to?

Impossible.

But then, detaching was a process. A process that he'd set into working today. And he'd see how long it would take before he lost his attachment and could look upon her as if she was just another prisoner.

He had hope. After all, he was a Saiyan. And a Saiyan was a master at suppressing emotions. It would all turn out just fine.

And with that thought he turned to his side and after a while he fell asleep, dreaming about the object of his affections, a dream he wouldn't remember when he woke up to the night.