The Doctor admitted, "Okay, it's a coincidence about the clothes and the anatomy, and the song, but I can promise you that it's nothing but that..."

Michelle was dismissive. "I think you're a Phil Collins fan. But so am I. And perhaps you are a freak of nature." She paused. "So am I, now that I think about it."

The Doctor could only shrug. "I've been called worse." He shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled innocently. "So, where did you say that stone came from?"

Michelle pulled the golden chain with the red rock over her head, and handed it to the Doctor. "Knock yourself out. Not like it works, anyway."

The Doctor put on his glasses and took a closer look. "Gonna need to know more than that, Michelle. You're not supposed to have one of these to begin with. It's very dangerous for people to be shifting back and forth in the space/time continuum. Regular people, anyway."

Michelle glared. "And who are you to be telling me what's okay to do and not to do? Until you have some official title like, I don't know, Lord of Time, I really don't have a big need to listen to you, now do I?"

The Doctor suddenly announced, "Bing-o!" It was a very singsong fashion. He had pulled a magnifying attachment out from the wall.

She wasn't sure if it was directed at her, but Michelle noticed a particularly affirmative tone in his voice. She tossed her hands into the air. "So now you're not just an alien, but a time traveler as well?"

"A double whammy, that's for sure!" the Doctor said joyfully. His nose was gigantic behind the magnifier.

"But...you're a skinny white boy with glasses!" Michelle protested.

"Yup!"

"And you have a delightfully nice butt," she added, sure he wasn't listening at this point.

"No pinching, I'm quite ticklish. And you were the same skin color, last time I checked?"

Michelle was puzzled. This Doctor wasn't put off by her grouchy attitude. It almost seemed like it was a challenge that he enjoyed tackling. "You know, you are really pissing me off, Doctor Who, what, where, when or why!"

"Been told that lots too. Why don't you pick one out? The name, I mean. At least one that you can understand. Try Doctor Who on for size...that would look nice on a business card, no?"

Michelle sighed, defeated. "D.W. works for me, then. Wait...no, I prefer Spaz. It fits you much better."

The Doctor blanched at the term. "Ouch. You're lucky I know that such a word is harmless in the American culture...in England it'd be quite insulting. But I guess you mean I'm hyperactive, in a sort of way. Do I really come across like that? Like I can't shut up unless I'm really hard pressed to do so?"

Michelle interrupted, "Um, I believe that your issue is too much sugar and caffeine in your diet. Try less of it. This might help your...prattling issues." She went over and sat down, giving him a suspicious glance. "So when do I get to take my stone and leave?"

"I'm afraid you can't. As I said, humans can't go messing around with the space/time continuum. You might let slip something about the Internet, or medical advances...even stating who is to take home the very first MTV award could have dire consequences."

Michelle laughed mirthlessly. "Of course. But it's how my life works, you see. I don't get to do anything that would really make me happy." She bitterly reached over and picked up a strange object that was the length of a pen. It had a blue cabochon stone at one end.

Nice laser pointer, she thought. Absentmindedly she aimed it at the wall and pressed a button, wanting to see what color of light would appear.

BLAM! There was a weird sound, a puff of smoke, sparks, and a quarter-sized hole appeared in the wall. Michelle screamed and flung the object as far away as possible. It rolled right into the Doctor's outstretched hand.

He gave Michelle a disapproving look. "Please don't blast holes in my TARDIS--that's a sonic screwdriver, by the way. Think of this place as a museum...look, but don't touch." The Doctor squinted and looked at something over Michelle's shoulder. "Oh dear...you got a reflective beam from that one. I smell burnt plastic. That's going to make things rather difficult, isn't it?"

Michelle looked in the same direction and gave a cry of dismay. "My stuff!" Where the suitcase had been was nothing but a stinking, gloppy puddle. "All I had was in there!"

"Great shame," murmured the Doctor. "I think I've found your problem here."

Michelle snapped, "My problem is that you have ADD and you are really out of touch with reality!"

"Nawwwww! Don't be silly! Reality is...relative." He beckoned Michelle over. "See this? It's why your stone didn't work. Got an awful crack in it. It needs to have an entirely unbroken form. Otherwise, the ionic bonds can't sustain the temporal energy and the portal opens in the nearest 'pure' time source. In your case, my TARDIS."

The Doctor pulled off his glasses and looked at Michelle. "And how did you say you came by this again?"

Michelle wrung her hands. "I didn't...find it, per se. More like it found me."

"Come again?"

Michelle sat down next to the Doctor. "I was in college. Myself and some fellow students had pooled our money to take a trip to Europe. We were on the Stonehenge stop when I heard...no, it was more like felt this melody inside my head." A haunted gaze came over her face.

The Doctor frowned, a disturbed look in his eye. "You heard it in your mind?"

"Yes...a sort of empty, longing tune. I can't describe it other than it was like it came out of nowhere. I felt compelled to head over in the direction where it seemed like the song was coming from. You know, it was winter, and I had this big noisy coat on, and I thought for sure I would have gotten caught..."

"Go on."

"But toward the time the site was closing, I managed to sneak behind the barrier and near the stone circle. Using only my fingers, through some sort of superhuman strength, I was able to dig in the frozen ground and locate the stone just a few inches under the surface of the base of one of the dolmens."

The Doctor muttered, "That makes sense. Many tons of rock on this small stone put the fissure in the center."

Michelle let out a shuddering breath. "Long story short, I found it, and I figured out how to use it. I brought it home, and discovered that if I concentrated hard enough, I could send myself to whatever time in history I wanted."

With a sudden harshness, the Doctor put his hand roughly on Michelle's shoulder and demanded, "Where has it taken you? I need to know, right now!"

Michelle stammered, "N-nowhere, just a few minutes or days into the past! This will be the first time I've tried to go back years!"

The Doctor slammed his palm on the console in frustration. "Damn! You would get yourself in trouble this way!" He shook his head in disbelief. "No, no, this won't do at all!"

Michelle protested, "What are you talking about? Am I missing something here? Or are you just being a jerk?"

The Doctor seemed to calm at this statement. He held up the stone to Michelle's face. "This," he said, emphasizing every word, "is a Jewel of the Kedron. You absolutely cannot have one of these in your possession." He thought for a brief moment. "Yes, that's it...the planet was destroyed billions of years ago, before Earth was formed, and the piece drifted through space and landed on the Earth. Michelle, if you are discovered to have one of these on your person, it means death."

Michelle went white. "For me???"

"Not just you, but your whole planet. The human race."

She shrieked, "Who are these Kedron? What do they want with me?"

The Doctor said grimly, "If we're lucky, nothing just yet. They shouldn't be able to detect the Jewel until it gets heavy, regular usage. We may have escaped their sensors, but we've got to keep the stone in a constant state of temporal flux. It will be harder for them to find it that way. This should help." He opened a small door, inside which was nothing but green, swirling light.

"What the hell is that?"

The Doctor shoved the pendant into the center of the phenomenon, and quickly closed the door. "I could be dramatic and say it is the heart of my ship, but it's really just the engine compartment."

The Doctor stood up. "The Kedron are a powerful, ancient race. They, like my ship, exist in a state of temporal flux. They came from a world far at the end of the Andromeda galaxy."

Michelle glared. "They ought to have stayed there, then."

"Oh, believe me, they would have, if they hadn't wound up destroying their own planet from constant bickering and war. The pieces of Kedron scattered far and wide. It would have killed them all, but some escaped. And the story goes that the surviving Kedron believe that if they are able to recover enough original pieces of their planet, they will be able to rebuild their home world."

Michelle spoke to the Doctor slowly, as though he were an idiot. "And that stone is a piece of the Kedron planet. So give it back to them, let them build Kedron again, and we're all good. There's no problem, right?"

"I wish it were that simple. You see, the Kedron didn't evolve the same way my race did. The temporal existence scrambled their brains. They're all completely mad."

Michelle looked aghast. "And they blame everything and everyone, except themselves, for the ruination of Kedron, and will kill anything that has a piece of the planet, right?"

"Cor, you're good! How did you know?"

Michelle shouted angrily, "All I wanted to do was go back to the 1980's! It shouldn't be this complicated!" She ran to the corner, where the TARDIS wall morphed into an opening for a bedroom. Michelle threw herself into the makeshift bed and hid beneath the covers.

The Doctor followed her. "Oh, come on! You can't go to sleep now! The sun's out!"

Michelle poked her head out from under the blanket. "I'm not sleeping. I'm sulking, Time Dude. And in case you hadn't noticed, this is the middle of space. The sun is always out."

"Well, in this part of the galaxy anyway, that's true. You coming out, or are you going to stay under there like an infant human?"

"I am human, and I'll act however I damn well please." She pulled the blankets over her head again.

The Doctor whistled cheerfully, and grabbed a silvery-colored ball from somewhere on the console. He began to toss it so it would hit the edge of the cot near Michelle's head, and so that it bounced back into his hand.

Thunk... "Quit!"

Thunk... "Knock it off, you might hit me!"

Thunk... "I said quit, you spaz!" Her head appeared again. "My God, you are a pain in the arse. There, you've got my attention. What do you want?"

"So, the 1980's...why then? I mean, the fashions were bloody fantastic, I agree, but what about that time period appeals to you?"

Michelle looked thoughtful. "Erm...the pop culture, I guess. I love the music and the movies. It was so much...happier then than it is now. Not filled with whiny teenagers and punk bands that pretend to stand for something when all they want is money. I belong there. I want to be happy for a change."

"What was that about whiny teenagers?"

"I'm 26, thank you! And I told you, I fit in there. I want to be happy."

The Doctor shook his head. "You can't go back there on your own, you know."

Michelle glared. "You've only told me that a thousand times. Now, space dude, will you send me back home, so I can get on with my life and pretend this never happened?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I could do that, sure...or there's another option."

She rolled her eyes. "What's your damn option?"

He looked at her encouragingly. "You could come with me, if you wish."

Michelle gave him a look for a moment, then burst into uncontrollable laughter. "HA HA HA HA HA!! Travel with the nerd in the phone booth! That's hilarious!"

The Doctor frowned. "Still don't believe me then? Well, I guess I've got to prove it some way." He took the screwdriver and flipped through several options on the video screen. "This is a good one. How about this? Ahem." He cleared his throat and recited, "If I could walk on water...if I could find some way to prove...if I could walk on water would you believe in me?"

There was a gentle rush of air. Michelle had thrown off the blanket and was standing up now, out of the bed. She gave him a curious look. "Eddie Money lyrics?"

"The same. Convinced yet?"

Michelle folded her arms. "No...are you any good at word association?"

"Try me."

She said carefully, "High Noon...Shane...Once Upon a Time in the West." There was a pause. "3:10 to Yuma."

The Doctor inquired, with a smile on his face, "The Alamo?"

"The Wild Bunch...The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance."

"Fistful of Dollars. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

"Clint Eastwood!"

"Gary Cooper."

"John Wayne."

"Henry Fonda."

"Burt Lancaster."

"Kirk Douglas."

"Robert Redford."

"Paul Newman..."

"Steve McQueen?"

The two of them paused, and then said in unison, with an excitement, "MEL CRAIGS!"

Michelle jumped and down. "No way! Really? Really really?"

"Really. Phil Collins fan."

She squeed happily. "Ooh, I can't stand it. You've won me over. Let's go."

The Doctor held out his hand warmly. "Next stop...everywhere."

Michelle frowned. "Oh, no, that's no good."

"It's not?"

"Well, it's just like I felt you've said it before. It's clichéd now. You need something new to say."

The Doctor scratched his head. "Erm...uh...all aboard the universal express?" He gave a lopsided grin.

"That's better. It still sucks though."

"Eh, I do what I can." He gave her a questioning look. "Who is Mel Craigs, anyway?"