Mistoffelees steadied himself. He had to be calm and charismatic...whilst performing the scariest trick in the history of cat kind. Everyone assumed that that magic came effortlessly to him; they didn't quite understand the amount of hard work he put in to every trick. Of course, the effort was worth it in the end as he wouldn't exchange anything for the looks of wonder on everybody's faces.
However, he had never failed this badly before. It always took him a few tries to get it right but this was just ridiculous.
The first part was simple. He would have each kitten gather a piece of rubbish, which he would then turn into a bunch of flowers. As he was a gentleman he would present them to Cassandra, who would blush gratefully. Then, he would escort his beautiful assistant into a specially prepared box which he would then crush. Very gentlemanly behaviour...
He would then smooth the box out to its original state and open the door and...Hang on, where was Cassandra?
Look left, look right. Look left, look right.
There! Cassandra would be on a large pile of junk. Misto would float her down and they'd both bow.
That was how it was supposed to go. The annoying thing was that he knew he could do it. He could do each individual part of the trick yet once he combined them it became impossible.
Beside him, Cassandra looked on in horror as yet another dummy of her was crushed.
"I'll get it soon, Cass, I promise."
"I hope so or else you'll have to find yourself a new assistant."
"Sorry, Cass."
"Is something distracting you?"
"No," Misto said confidently. There was that little nagging feeling right at the back of his head but he was certain that was nothing. Nothing at all.
The queen turned her head to one side, surveying him intently. "If you're sure," she purred. "I'll see you tomorrow."
With one last worried look at her friend, the queen gracefully leapt away.
"I can do this," Misto said to his paws. "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this."
Misto took a deep soothing breath and stared at the angry, grey sky. The weather had taken a turn for the worse. Just an hour ago the sky above had been a stunning blue but it had now been replaced by dark, swollen clouds.
No one stayed in the Junkyard when it rained. Around him other cats were already running off to their warm, dry human dens. Misto would just practise the trick one more time before he too made a desperate bid to escape getting soaked.
1. Flowers – simple done.
2. Place the dummy in the box.
3. Crush the box.
4. Open box to reveal...it had worked!
5. Now all he had to do was look around and... Yes! There was the dummy exactly where it was supposed to be.
6. He was now in the final stage of the trick. He would float the dummy down and return home. When he got there, he'd have a nice dinner and curl up on his human's cardigan.
Behind him, someone was laughing. Misto's heart sank. He hadn't floated the dummy down...he'd turned it into a cardigan...
"Classic!"
"Shut up, Tugger."
"Hey, relax! What's your problem, kid? That was a brilliant trick."
"That wasn't what I wanted to do. The dummy was supposed to fly down," Misto sighed.
"Pfft, that's boring. Stick with the comedy."
"I don't think Cassandra would be too happy about that."
"We all have to make sacrifices," grinned Tugger wickedly. "Come on, kid, home."
Misto actually felt pretty confident now. He had come so close to success today so he was certain that tomorrow would be the day he got it right.
The two cats set off to their human den together. They had been living in this arrangement for a while now. It wasn't meant to last but somehow it did. Tugger's pet humans had taken a shine to Misto after his own humans had run away. Now, the odd pair co-owned a human family of four.
From a sheltered pipe in the Junkyard, a tiny kitten watched the rainfall. Why is it, thought the kitten, the rain makes everything go dark? And why was rain wet? He didn't like rain. It got up his nose and made him sneeze. Rain was noisy, too. It clanged and clinged and pinged like a...a...an army of armoured mice running about above him! Any moment now, the kitten thought excitedly, they'll attack the Junkyard!
"They'll install their mousey Queen as ruler and no cat will be here to stop them...except for the great," the kitten paused as he racked his brain for a cool name for himself, "Mr Mistoffelees! At first they'll say he's just a small, harmless cat and then they'll laugh evilly, like this 'hihihihea'. But then he'll zap them with his amazing magic powers – pow, pow, pow – and they'll all be terrified and run away like scared little queens. When everyone sees what I've done they'll all cheer and...and give me a saucer of milk the size of the moon! I'll be a – AAIIIEYA!"
Something had just burst into his pipe! It was a mouse monster and it was twice as big as him and had sharp, sharp teeth!
At the sight of this horrifying beast the kitten tried to turn around and run but the beast had hold of his tail and was pulling him back! He was going to die! His short life flashed before his eyes as he felt himself being dragged into the monsters jaws.
"Help me, spare me, save me," the kitten began to cry and lay there sobbing for several minutes before he realised he was, in fact, alive.
It wasn't a giant cat-eating monster mouse but another drenched and confused kitten. It was one of the older kittens too. He hated the older kittens. They teased him.
In a last ditch attempt to regain some dignity he tried to make himself look as mean and as big as possible. He failed; it just made the older kitten smirk.
Oh no...He now recognised the other kitten. It was that really smug, popular kitten with the daft name. The kitten hated the older one with a passion.
"What are you doing here," his companion asked.
"What are you doing here," the kitten stubbornly repeated. He wasn't going to be tricked into saying anything stupid.
"Quaxo, right? Bustopher's son?"
"Yeah," Quaxo replied meekly, shocked that the other knew who he was.
"You know who I am, of course."
Yeah, you're that cat who thinks so much of himself but is really just a big wet wimp, was what Quaxo wanted to say he instead shook his head.
"What!" cried the older kitten. "I'm The Rum Tum Tugger!"
THE Rum Tum Tugger, as if there could be any other.
"Have we talked before, kid?"
Quaxo winced. He didn't like being called 'kid'. It was just another way of making him feel small.
"Yeah, you came and said Bomba...er...wanted to...I mean...she....er, loved...er...liked...you know," the kitten blushed.
On hearing this, Tugger snickered.
"Leave me alone," Quaxo muttered. He'd had enough of this kitten. Why was he sheltering in Quaxo's pipe? It wasn't fair.
"Where is Nimmo? You're usually stuck to her like glue."
At the mention of his sister's name the kittens face crumpled and he began to cry.
"What did I say?" said an uncomfortable Tugger. "Fine, I'm going."
Tugger began to head towards his human den.
Why had the kitten taken offense? He was just being friendly, keeping him company and taking an interest in his life. All he'd done was ask how Nimmo was.
"Everlasting Cat," he said under his breath as realisation dawned on him.
Quaxo was still sat in his pipe when Tugger reappeared.
"Look, calm down. What happened to Nimmo?"
"S-s-she's gone," the kitten hiccupped. "My human was putting stuff in boxes and-and I went away and w-when I came back they were both g-g-g-g..."
"Gone? Where?"
"I don't know!"
They sat in silence, the rain humming above them.
"Where do you live, kid?" Tugger asked quietly.
"Here."
"No human den?"
He shook his head.
"Everlasting Cat, kid," Tugger shook his head. "Can't you stay with your parents?"
"They're too busy with the kittens."
Quaxo's new siblings really annoyed him. The eldest, Victoria, had taken to hiding whenever she saw him. He'd know she was there due to the excessive amounts of giggling. The first time she'd done this it had been adorable and he'd been so proud of his newfound big brother status. The hundredth-million time she'd done this it wasn't so much cute as it was downright annoying. He wasn't even allowed to tell her this! It sucked to be nice and patient.
"You have no home," Tugger stated, his brow furrowed in thought. "Look, kid," he began, obviously embarrassed, "You could stay for a night in my human den.
Was THE Rum Tum Tugger offering to help? The Rum Tum Tugger, who was famous for his conceited nature, was allowing the kitten to stay in his human den? It had to be a joke! The kitten couldn't believe his ears. It was some kind of mystifying miracle.
"You follow my rules, Ok," Tugger added quickly. "What I say goes. Got it?"
"Yep!"
"Good. Remember, though, one night only."
Except it had lasted more than a night. The humans, excited at their find, had presented him to various other humans (one of whom, a man called Vet, had done unspeakable things to his nether regions) and given him his very own food bowl.
Tugger hadn't been quite so pleased but he'd grown to see the benefits of having another cat around...
However, both cats were ill at ease about the other Jellicles finding out. Misto knew if that were to happen then all the old jokes about his ambiguous sexuality would come out again. It was not that he found the jokes offensive, it just wasn't a topic he liked discussing. When he did, it always felt like they were trying to make his mind up for him.
Tugger didn't care about people joking about his own sexuality, in fact, he appeared to enjoy it. Whilst there was definitely no mystery surrounding his sexual orientation, it was clear he would take pleasure in the intrigue. He had once boasted of having been in a relationship with another tom. Whether it was true or not was beyond Misto but he was pretty certain it was just another attention seeking lie.
Misto didn't really know why Tugger was so worried about their secret being found out. He assumed it was because the Maine Coon did not want to be thought of as soppy.
There was only one cat who was allowed to know and that was Victoria. There was nothing she loved than keeping a secret so Misto told her everything...well, almost. She took full advantage of this particular secret, often coming to visit him with the strangest of excuses to see Tugger.
Misto was otherwise rather cautious when it came to others knowing his living arrangements. As he walked back with Tugger he was forever checking to make sure no other cat was nearby.
Today, however, Misto was too distracted. He felt nostalgic. It was the rush of wind in the trees and the roar wheels against wet roads. All his senses were alive, picking up things he had not felt since kittenhood. He felt oddly free, as if the strings tying him to his body had snapped. He allowed himself to wander back through time, dissecting each memory as he went.
*Swish-swish*
As Tugger walked his swung loosely from side to side.
*Swish-swish*
Tugger was talking and the kitten was trying so hard to listen...
*Swish-swish*
He was trying very hard to be polite...
*Swish-swish*
Very, very hard indeed...
*Swish-swish*
It was no use! He couldn't take his eyes off Tugger's tail.
*Swish-swish*
It was swaying in front of him...
*Swish-swish*
He had to avoid pouncing...
*Swish-swish*
Avoid pouncing...
*Swish-swish*
*Swish-swish*
*Swish-swish*
No, had to kill it, kill it, kill it!
"Off the tail," said a surprisingly patient Tugger.
Reluctantly the kitten let go.
"Sorry, I'm just really, really, REALLY excited!" Quaxo squealed, running up alongside his newfound friend.
What would they do once they were there? What were the human family like? Would they like him? What did the human den look like? Did Tugger like playing hide and seek?
He couldn't keep still. It would be just like having Nimmo back.
They neared the human den. It was a house of average size with a straight, black door and smooth, creamy white walls. It was like any other plain, boring house and yet to Misto it was absolutely extraordinary....it was home. When he saw it for the first time he'd been so ecstatic he was literally bouncing all over the place. He had no idea then that it would become his home. If had known he would have jumped twice as much.
Tugger stopped suddenly. "You forgot to get their dinner."
"We both forgot."
It is a well known fact that humans cannot hunt for themselves. They, instead, rely on cats for their survival. Misto was all too happy to feed the hapless humans. It was, after all, one of the most important parts of having a human – you had to keep them alive. Misto also fed the woman across road. She had no cats and he was worried about her starving to death. It was just too sad.
Dinner caught, they entered the house and presented the humans with their catch. Misto smiled up at his humans as he watched their excitable reactions before heading off towards the food bowls. His was the black one with the name 'Harry' printed on it in large white letters. However, 'Harry' rarely ate out of his food bowl. By the time he got there Tugger was already gulping down some of the juicier morsels. Misto was used to this and was calmly resigned to eating out of the bowl labelled 'Fluffy'.
"When this was finished he would play with the children (the human version of kittens). Dorothy, who appeared to be the eldest, preferred nice quiet games whereas Lauren liked loud, violent games that usually involved fur, tail and ear puling. Both cats, especially Tugger, who was her favourite, were very wary of her.
Misto was currently in his secret place. He came here if he was bored, scared or just needed some time alone (spending so much time with Tugger was tough). This was the place where he came up with some of his best ideas for magic tricks. Conditions were perfect: comfy, relaxing, comforting and thought provoking – the best ingredients for a good idea...and a nice, long...snooze...
He was running, his heart thumping against his chest and fatigue straining his muscles. He had to find Nimmo. She was calling his name, her voice echoing around the walls of his mind. Where was she? He stumbled through endless corridors of some forgotten building until suddenly he was magically crawling across thin air towards a solitary window in the distance. His body trembled, he couldn't keep it up. He was going to fall. Then he saw it, a shadow in the window, a shadow of a cat...
If he could just keep his magic going for long enough then he could reach her...
He was close...mind numbingly close. His body grew cold and his breath caught in his throat. He was going to do it. Finally, he was going to save her. His skin tingled as he took one last step forwards.
Then it came upon him. It was a feeling of sickening heaviness, a feeling that sluggishly overtook his body. It started in his toes and travelled up through his limbs and torso, leaving his head feeling light and dizzy, as if it would just float away into the sinister vacuum surrounding him. Slowly, his mind was leaving him, only to be replaced by the throbbing blackness behind his eyes. Finally he was giving in...
He was falling...
Misto's eyes snapped open. He lay there for a few minutes as his mind adjusted itself to reality. Everlasting Cat, that dream again...it always left him in a state of persistent dread, which would be okay if he knew what exactly he was dreading. It was like being in a darkened room and knowing someone was behind you but having no way of seeing who. Well, perhaps that was exaggerating it a bit but in Misto's head it was just as worrying.
He lay there for awhile, listening to the rain pattering against a nearby window. The sound gently eroded his apprehension. Dreams were silly, confusing things; there was no need for him to get worked up. After all, by daybreak, it will be nothing but a vague memory.
He hadn't meant to sleep this long. It was just supposed to be a little nap but it was already the middle of the night.
"Let me in, let me in, let me in," came Tugger's cry, across the hall.
Misto stretched his stiff joints and creakily went to see what all the fuss was about. Tugger was scratching at the adult human's bedroom door. They had once again made the terrible mistake of locking it. Eventually, the frustrated looking human male opened the door. Tugger gave him a look of disdain and walked way.
Across the hall Lauren had also opened her door and was now calling for her 'favouritest kitty in all the world' to come to her.
"She'd have to drag me out of the deepest pits of hell first," Tugger grandly remarked.
No matter how much he loved her Misto would have to agree. Last time he slept in her bed she'd drooled all over him. It was not something he'd like to suffer through again.
Instead, they decided to spend the night on the families new leather sofa.
"Let's see what's on the box," Tugger grinned, hitting random buttons on the remote.
"No! Don't you dare!" Misto cried, panicked.
He hated the magic-talking-picture box. There was no logic behind it. It was quite obviously magic but where was it coming from? Misto knew for a fact that anything with a mind of its own, like a car, was very evil indeed.
Eventually, Tugger gave up teasing him and both cats curled up to go to sleep
It had been a good day, full of very fun games Quaxo had never played before. There had been the 'Sneak into the House Game', the 'Steal Food Game' and the 'Hiding Game'. The best game had been the one where the humans found him and chased him all around the house, even though they hadn't played fair. There had been a boring part where the humans had just talked so he'd gone off to play with Tugger. He had decided that older kittens weren't so bad after all. It turns out that older kittens are just the same as younger kittens...except they're bigger.
The kitten yawned. It must be close to bed time, now. His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. He tried blinking himself awake but that just made it worse.
"I want to go to bed," he moaned.
"Feel free," was the helpful response.
"Where is it?"
"Where is what?"
"The bed."
"My bed is in the kitchen. Sleep there if you want. I'll be on the sofa."
"You're allowed to sleep on the sofa," said Quaxo, his eyes widening at the news. "My old human got really angry if we even sat on the sofa!"
"I sleep wherever I please, kid."
"Wow! Where's the craziest place you've ever slept?"
"Under the car."
The kittens jaw dropped. "And you didn't die?!?"
Tugger just raised an eyebrow and headed off to the lounge. The kitten followed eagerly. As he jumped upon the couch, he felt a rush of adrenalin. He was a daredevil! He, Quaxo, was on the couch!
Suddenly unable to sleep, the kitten raced around the room several times before jumping onto the sofa killing a cushion.
"Happy now?" asked the older kitten, clearly amused.
"Yeah, yeah."
Finally ready to go to sleep, the kitten shuffled over to Tugger and snuggled up in his mane.
"What are you doing?"
The kitten looked up, startled. "Going to sleep."
"I can see that. I meant, why are you in my mane? Sleep over there, kid."
"Oh...Ok..."
"What is it, kid?"
"I...er...it's just that...well, me and Nimmo always slept next to each other...I can't sleep without her," Quaxo whispered.
Tugger looked up at the roof in desperation before saying, "Fine...just don't tell anyone...or mess up my mane."
"Ouch!"
Misto was rudely woken up in the early hours of the morning by Tugger kicking him in the head.
"Sorry, did I just kick you there?"
"Yes!"
"Accident."
Fat chance, Misto thought grumpily.
"What is it, Tugger?"
"Nothing."
This meant Tugger was going to have a rant.
"Well, maybe there is something...a tiny something..."
"Go on, then."
"What you said earlier about me having a mate...you weren't being serious, were you?"
So that was it. He couldn't believe Tugger would get so upset over that. He assumed the Maine Coon would rather run a mile than buckle down to an everlasting monogamous relationship. Yet, somehow his comment had really gotten to Tugger and that could only mean one thing...
"You're in love!"
"Don't be ridiculous," Tugger scoffed.
"You love Bombalurina!"
The Maine Coon swatted at him but Misto jumped out of reach onto the back ledge of the sofa.
"Oh, Tugger, I really like you," cooed Misto in his best Bomba impression. "I want to kiss you all over. Oh, Tugger, oh, Tugger, I want to be your mate!"
He strutted along, copying her signature walk.
Tugger leapt at him and suddenly they were both on the floor. The Maine Coon was much bigger than Misto, who lay helplessly underneath him. He was never any good at fighting; he just struck out wildly, hoping Tugger would come to his senses.
CRASH!
The cats sprang apart, heckles raised.
"Thunder," said Tugger, scratching the back of his head. This was the closest Misto would get to an apology.
"I didn't realise it was still raining."
"It is."
Both cats laughed, embarrassed, before jumping back onto the couch.
"You really like her, huh."
Tugger just shrugged. "You like anyone?"
Misto paused. He could tell Tugger about the odd thoughts he's been having about one cat in particular...no, he wouldn't. It was probably nothing. He was probably just being silly. After all, he thought he liked someone before and how wrong had he been then.
"No, no one at all."
Tugger raised his eyebrows and for a moment Misto thought he was going to pursue the subject further, wheedle the true answer out of him but instead he let it lie. Inwardly, Misto gave a relieved sigh. When he was certain towards his feelings Tugger would be the first one he told...well, after Victoria anyway. Then both of them would give him loads of help and support (and probably lots of teasing) about initiating the first step.
"You should act fast, Tugger," Misto said quickly before Tugger could change his mind. "Pouncival comes of age this ball and plans to sweep Bomba off her feet."
"Like Etcetera plans to sweep me off mine?"
"Fair point," Misto laughed.
"Ok, kid, I need my beauty sleep. Sweet dreams."
"Mmm, yeah, goodnight."
Misto knew he wouldn't be able to sleep now. His mind was buzzing. He was no longer a kitten but he wasn't quite an adult. He was in that strange no-man's land where nothing was certain. It was an age where you still had the playful, mischievous nature of a kitten but the responsibilities of an adult. It wasn't a bad age, just a confusing one, where you were both looking fondly backwards and impatiently forwards.
The morning light spread across the dusty living room. Quaxo still lay on the couch. He was in that blissful state of being only semi-awake and the hazy dreams of last night were still intermingling with reality.
Tugger sat by the window admiring his reflection. Licking his paw, he styled his hair.
"What do you think, kid."
"Pretty cool."
"You know, Quaxo, you're alright."
It was now Misto who sat at the window, staring out across his garden. Very soon Victoria would be dashing across with an excuse about her human locking her out or the house catching fire or the milkman being awfully late (there was no milkman). She'd then act surprised to see Tugger and the three would walk towards the Junkyard. Along the way they'd be joined be Victoria's mate, Plato, and his brother, Admetus. After that, Tugger would disappear to do whatever it was he did (Misto didn't dare ask), Victoria would go all giggly and Plato would bashfully peck her on the cheek, and Misto would spend the whole day avoiding Admetus, who, yet again, wanted help learning his lines for this year's performance in the ball.
Tugger let out a loud groan. He had fallen off the settee and now lay, still asleep, in a particularly ungraceful position on the floor.
"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey," Misto sang cheerfully.
Tugger growled something incomprehensible into the floor and swatted at Misto with his tail.
"You know, Tugger," beamed Misto as he watched Victoria skipping across fences to meet them, "you're alright."