Ch.3 - In Sickness or in Health
Following Kagura's lead, the four remaining suitors entered a white, spotless room that appeared to be a laboratory. In the middle was a circle where four helmets rested on raised platforms.
"We are going to play a virtual simulation game," Kagura announced. "Wearing these helmets will create a virtual environment where you will each go on a date with me. I get to choose the scenario. So it's kind of like a dating game. Just act normal, all right? Good luck!"
With more than just a little fear and trepidation, the four men put on the helmets. Kagura then vanished behind a screen where they heard the sound of a button being pressed, transporting them into 4 different alternate realities...
Subject: Okita Sougo (18)
Scenario: Okita and Kagura are married assassins who don't know their partner's actual job (Sounds familiar? :D) Okita is the bodyguard of a high ranking government official but Kagura's job is to kill the same person. If they fail, their memories will be wiped.
"Okita? Oi, OKITA?! Are you listening?!"
Okita snapped awake. "Uh.. ye-es," he said sleepily.
He was being yelled at by a bald man who stood in front of a powerpoint presentation. It appeared to be a briefing of some kind of secret operation, though from the black ninja-like attire of his colleagues, this was not the Shinsengumi.
The man who had spoken coughed irritably and continued. "Alright, men. In theory, your mission is simple. All you have to do is to act as bodyguard to this man, Mr. Butada -" he jabbed his finger at the powerpoint, which showed the picture of a pig-like alien, "- and escort him to the airport. He's a very high ranking official, so you better not mess up or we'll all be in deep whatsit. GOT IT?!" he barked, and a few ninjas practically flew off the ground in surprise.
"As per usual, failure in this mission means that your memories will be wiped, clean as a slate," the man spat. "We can't afford to have failures. Make it WORK!Understood?...Alright, dismissed!"
After the meeting, Okita followed his usual trail home (Note: in real life he lives in Shinsengumi Headquarters but in this game he has an apartment). As he opened the door, the sound of deep frying could be heard, followed by a delectable smell that wafted out in enticing tendrils.
"Tadaima..." he said, slightly hesitantly. The smell of cooking was too good to resist and he followed his nose to the kitchen, where a girl with red hair was vigorously tossing rice in a saucepan. The amount of rice was enough to feed an entire village.
"Hey, you're back!" Kagura said brightly. "Just in time for dinner." She added half a bottle of soy sauce to the rice while speaking.
Wait... the part of Okita's brain which still connected to reality was thinking. Isn't this a dating game? Why are we MARRIED?! What kind of dating game starts with MARRIAGE?!!!!
Okita had never imagined himself to be in any kind of 'stable relationship', let alone be entrenched in eternal matrimony. Till death do us part... Understandably, he had a strong aversion to the idea, and tears began to well in his eyes, very uncharacteristically.
"Dinner's ready!!" said Kagura brightly, dragging a cart containing a barrel of fried rice into the dining room. Okita hastily wiped the tears away before she could see.
"Are you hiding a group of illegal immigrants in the basement? 'Cause there's no way the two of us could finish all that rice," he said, snapping back to his usual sardonic self.
"Ha ha, don't be silly," said Kagura, giving Okita's shoulder a friendly pat which sank him an inch into the floor. She then proceeded to hand him a normal sized bowl. Then she sat down and emptied the contents of the barrel into her mouth.
Okita soon realized that married life with Kagura meant the following: rice with every meal (including dessert, which was rice with ice cream), and no sleep at night. (Not what you're thinking, perv. This fic is rated K. Sorry.) After getting over the initial shock of having to sleep in the same bed as Kagura, the next thing he knew, she had fallen into a deep slumber and grasped him in a suffocating bear-hug.
"OI!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!!" Okita yelled in desperation, but Kagura seemed to tighten her clutch around his waist even more. "Shush, bunny," she mumbled, obviously still asleep and dreaming about some pet she had. She probably killed it, Okita thought, correctly. He tried to prise himself out of her iron grip, but failed miserably. Somehow, he managed to doze off eventually, though it was a restless and fitful sleep.
*
The guy Okita was supposed to protect turned out to be just as piggish as his photo. It was possibly the worst day of Okita's life. He had woken up at 7, feeling sore all over, to find that Kagura had already gone. She had remembered to leave his breakfast on the table (Rice Krispies). Remembering his mission, he had spooned some cereal into his mouth and left the house, only to get yelled at for being late by 2 minutes. He was then forced to join an entourage which would escort the pig, Mr Butada, to the airport. Inwardly, Okita found himself missing the Shinsengumi quite a bit. Especially a certain mayonnaise addict, because he no longer had anyone to torment, though he would never in his life admit this.
Just as Okita was musing over this newly found sentimentality, a masked figure shot out of the nearby bushes, kicking over two of the ninjas in the Pig Entourage. The figure then proceeded to seize Butada in the middle (not an easy feat), jumping just as easily onto a nearby branch. It was then that Okita recognized it: the two buns at each side of the assassin's head.
"Wait up!" he shouted, but Kagura was already leaping away into the forest with the speed and dexterity of a Naruto character. The rest of the bodyguard ninjas were busy playing with nunchucks and hurling shurikens in random directions, none of which hit the target.
Kagura might be a fast runner, but the 'Best Swordsman in the Shinsengumi' wasn't slow either. He soon caught up with her and a shouting match began between them as they charged through the forest.
"Oi! China! Give him BACK!" Sougo yelled. "He's property of the country!"
Kagura tightened her grip on Mr. Butada, who grew very red in the face. "I didn't know you worked as the government's dog, Okita!" she retorted angrily. "This pig is nothing but another corrupt official. He's just a worm in the apple. I'm NOT handing him over!"
Mr. Butada began to protest. "I'm going to kill you! Put me down!!"
"SHUT UP, HAM!!" yelled Okita and Kagura in unison. Mr. Butada gave a terrified squeal, and then sank into silence.
"I don't care about him!" shouted Okita over the din of the rustling leaves. "It's just that... If I fail this mission, they're going to erase my memories."
He thought of his colleagues back at the Shinsengumi, compared to the humorless ninjas at his current organization. Kondo, who once promised to punch him back to his senses if he did anything stupid. Hijikata, his prime firing target, though Okita always missed on purpose. Even Yamazaki's constant badminton playing was a memory he didn't want to throw away.
Deep down inside Okita's twisted heart, he also found to his horror a teeny tiny attachment to this red-headed, bone-crushing girl beside him. Who else in this world would bother making rice krispies for him on the day of an assassination?
No one, as far as Okita was concerned.
Suddenly, a switch clicked inside his head: SADIST MODE - ON.
"KAGURA!" he shouted. "Drop him!!"
"What?!" she yelled back. "We're 50 feet above ground!"
It was true. As they had travelled deeper into the woods, the trees were gradually gaining in height, and they were quite far off from the ground.
"The guy's padded with fat. He'll live," Okita yelled back. "Kagura - listen. We don't have to do this. To HELL with this assassination stuff. Let's go have lunch somewhere."
It was the first time in his life that he had suggested a meal with anybody. However, it seemed to work, for at the word 'lunch', Kagura's ears perked up.
She stopped running and let go of Mr. Butada, who fell through the branches, screaming like a pig. Okita was right, though. When he hit the ground, he simply rolled away, a bit bruised but still alive.
"What about the other ninjas?" Kagura questioned. "If they find out about this, you're dead for sure."
"I'll kill them," Okita replied simply. Something in his tone told Kagura that it wasn't a joke.
Then, in an act which seemed to break the laws of gravity, he took hold of her hand.
"But first, let's get some rice."
- T B C -
Sorry if that was a bit messy :P. Personally I love Okita/Kagura, but that doesn't mean he's going to win. Next up: Hijikata!