Ch. 4 Love is Like Mayo... Sweet and Sour
Disclaimer: Any similarities with a certain Korean drama would be purely coincidental. :D
Subject: Hijikata Toushiro
Scenario: Kagura is the new student at Hijikata's high school. Puppy love ensues.
The classroom was in its usual state of mayhem when the teacher walked in, closely followed by the new student. From his seat at the back of the classroom, Hijikata glanced up and saw a petite girl with pale skin and bright red hair. Their eyes met briefly and he quickly looked away. Wonder how long she's gonna last. The last three kids who had transferred to his school had just as quickly transferred out. Hijikata's school wasn't exactly renowned for its academic standards, and rather less for its moral standards.
"All right then, settle down now..." the teacher said weakly. Nobody in the class even looked up. The teacher flashed the new girl an apologetic look which seemed to say 'You'd better get used to this real quick'. Strangely, her face remained expressionless, even slightly bored.
All of a sudden, amid the flying scraps of paper, a Justerway soared towards the front of the classroom. "Get down!!" yelled the teacher, whose trained reflexes were prepared. He immediately ducked under the teacher's desk and waited for the grenade to explode.
Nothing happened.
Everyone's attention was now focused to the front of the classroom. The Justerway seemed to have completely vanished into thin air.
And then they saw it. Before the grenade hit the ground, the New Girl had caught it with one bare hand, crushing it so hard that the ignition spark had been put out before it even reached the explosive chemicals. That is to say, she caught it in a nanosecond.
"Who threw this?" she demanded, holding up the mangled Justerway which had become completely deformed in her hand.
Nobody answered.
From that day onwards, Hijikata was careful not to underestimate the new girl called Kagura.
*
When the bell rang, signalling the end of school, Hijikata was never more grateful for it. The new girl had been assigned to the seat next to his, and for some inexplicable reason she spent half the time staring in his direction. He tried ignoring her at first, but in his peripheral vision there would always be a pair of huge blue eyes, just looking. Hijikata then tried using his polished-to-perfection death stares, but Kagura just stared back until he gave up.
What the hell is wrong with her anyway, Hijikata mused as he got on his bike. The ride home was always the best part of the day, because it was in the late afternoon and his route was along the coast, where he could see the beautiful sunset. Between people in school and people at home, this was the only personal space he had in a day, and he was grateful for it.
Hijikata turned a corner onto the highway and nearly fell off his bike.
It was New Girl. Again.
"Yo," she said. Without another word, she clambered onto the back of his bike.
"You can start moving now."
Hijikata was so dumbfounded, he simply said "Okay" and started pedalling automatically. After about ten meters, he stopped abruptly.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" he turned around and barked.
"Relax. Just keep pedalling," she said nonchalantly. "My house is just over there," she said, motioning to a bunch of houses in the distance. "Besides," she said, leaning closer (way too far into his personal space), "I like you."
Turning around to hide his burning face, Hijikata had no other choice but to resume his cycling.
*
It was an odd start to the relationship, but the pros definitely outweighed the cons. A definite bonus was that Kagura's presence managed to keep away Hijikata's fangirl stalkers at school. This was established the morning after she 'confessed' to him (though by the way it was presented, it was more like a casual statement). When he arrived at school, Hijikata was greeted with the usual babble of fangirl stalkers who clustered around his locker.
"It's him!! He's here!!!"
(A flurry of hair-smoothing ensued.)
"OHAYOOO, HIJIKATA SAMA~~"
"I RABU YoU DESU~"
"Tocchi~ I have a cut on my thigh, can you please check to see if it's okay..."
This was the kind of crap he had to put up with every morning.
"I am not Tocchi," he muttered in annoyance. This however made several of the girls swoon and flail even more. "He's so kakkoii," they said, swooning to the left and right.
Hijikata counted to ten in his mind. Then, in the politest tone he could muster, he said, "Would you mind stepping aside so I can get my stuff?"
He might as well have been talking to a solid wall, apart from the fact that the fangirls were thicker, and more dense. They were asking him stuff like, "Do you like my makeup?" "I got a haircut yesterday, how does it look?" The idiocy was practically infectious.
Then, at the end of the corridor, a red-haired figure holding an umbrella appeared.
"BACK OFF," Kagura said.
The girls looked around irritably. "Huh! It's the new girl.... Who does she think she is anyway... Look at her tacky clothes..." And so on and so forth. In retaliation, they clustered around Hijikata even more, all the time flashing Kagura bitchy looks.
"I SAID, BACK OFF," Kagura said more loudly. Again, this was ignored.
"All right then," she said, almost cheerfully. She raised her umbrella. There were several loud bangs and thick, gray smoke engulfed the entire corridor.
Hijikata was swamped in a mass of confused fangirl. Somehow, Kagura managed to find him underneath the flailing arms and legs. "Let's go," she said, taking hold of his arm and hauling him out.
"How did you get so strong?!" he yelled as they fled the crime scene.
"I ate a lot of rice," she said.
*
After that incident, Hijikata's fangirls left him alone, and their stalking was reduced to peeking around corners until Kagura threatened to poke their eyes out with her umbrella. Apart from her violent tendencies, Hijikata and Kagura acted like any normal couple: they went on cinema trips, went around the town on Hijikata's bike, and when the sun was setting they strolled hand in hand along the coast. (Only in fanfiction.)
Hijikata knew it was all too good to be true. Then one day, reality finally struck.
They were walking along the beach, when Kagura, who had been strangely quiet, suddenly spoke.
"Toshi...I have something to tell you"
"Mm-hmm?"
"I have an incurable disease."
Hijikata's heart seemed to stop beating.
"I only have three months."
*
(Three months later)
*
Hijikata carried Kagura on his back, towards the coast, where the setting sun cast a rose-coloured glaze upon the slowly undulating waves.
"It's... beautiful," Kagura said quietly, as he set her down gently upon the sand.
"Wait here," Hijikata said. Five minutes later, he came back, dragging a white piano which he set upon the edge of the sea.
He cleared his throat and began to sing while playing the piano.
Hijikata's Serenade
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I shall compare thee with a tube of mayonnaise.
Thou art as lovely, and nearly as sweet.
Your skin is smooth, and Mayo is too.
I will love you till the end of time, or when 'Naruto' ends,
Whichever one takes the longest.
By this point, he could sing no longer as tears were streaming down his face. Holding Kagura in a tight embrace, they sat on the beach until the sun went below the horizon.
-TBC -
Author's note: You probably want to kill me now. Kagura didn't actually die. It's a dating game. :D I'm sorry if you expected romantic stuff or anything like that! (Hijikata belongs to Gin-chan) *gets bricked*
Next up: Shinpachi :D