Here's the next chapter! Our victim . . . . Zaraki Kenpachi! It seems like he was the most popular.

Oh, and Ichigo sends his regards to: skymaster23, Crazy Authoresses CATand AMS, Acara Whitefox, SpeckledFeather, and Rambler Kaolin for helping him out with his icy problem.

Disclaimer: I don't really know anything about Monster Truck Rallies. I'm just going off of what I believe to be true and what I've seen in commercials.

Ichigo yawned dramatically when he awoke, rubbing the stiff joints that were a direct result of being encased in Toshirou's ice last night. He grimaced; that was not a pleasant experience. Orihime had been completely terrified at the sight of him, Matsumoto partially angered at her taichou and slightly concerned, while Yachiru seemed to think it was the most hilarious thing in the entire world.

It had taken them a total of ten minutes to completely release him from his icy prison, and then he had to take a warm bath to restore the circulation in his legs. Thankfully his hair had dried before he went back home, or he would have had to have a lovely time dealing with his father bombarding him with questions and probably turning into something perverted that he was doing. The old man was quite infuriating at times.

Anyway, it was finally the weekend and the teen was planning to have some fun with his friends, hopefully before there was any Hollow alert.

"Iiichigooo!" The shinigami sighed then stepped to the side and started getting dressed, causing the crazed lion to collide with the wall off to his right. The Mod Soul slid down slowly, landing on the floor with a small squeak. He then swung around and glared at Ichigo, fire in his eyes.

"BASTARD!" he growled before bursting into tears, "How can you be so cruel? All I wanted was to show my affection to the host I care about so much, the one who I am so graciously protecting without a thought to what could happen to me, and all you ever do is shun me away! I wish nee-san were here," he added nostalgically, thinking back to Rukia. Kon paused and noticed Ichigo was almost out the door.

"DID YOU LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAID?" he screeched, pouncing on Ichigo and furiously began pulling out his hair with his claws.

"Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!" Ichigo cried, reaching behind him and wrenching the stuffed animal away from his scalp, glaring angrily. Just as he was about to throw him to the ground, a girlish giggle captured his attention. The two ceased their fighting and turned to the source of the sound, puzzlement etched in their expressions.

Yachiru was sitting on Ichigo's bed, swinging her legs back and forth on the edge, absolutely delighted. "You are very funny, Ichi!" she chuckled, her childish innocence dissipating any desire for a fight. Ichigo rolled his eyes and "lightly" dropped Kon to the ground.

"What is it, Yachiru?" he asked the fukutaichou, ignoring Kon's complaints in the background.

She grinned. "I came here to spend the whole day with you, and Ken-chan will be here as well!"

The world seemed to stop at her last words, and Ichigo paled, forgetting to breathe for a few seconds.

"W—what?" Kenpachi will be here. At my house. WHY?

"Shiro-chan and nee-san returned to Soul Society last night and said they had some paperwork to catch up on so they had to take a break from scouting out this area, and Shiro-chan was very kind to ask Ken-chan if he wanted to cover for them today, and he agreed!" Yachiru explained, oblivious to the terrified look Ichigo was giving her. "He said that he hasn't seen you in a while and is looking forward to seeing you!"

"I'll bet," Ichigo muttered under his breath. He knew the taichou only wanted to have another shot at fighting him. Damn that Toshirou! he thought vehemently. He's probably sitting at his desk, enjoying this last bit of revenge against me! Which of course was exactly what the 10th division taichou was doing; sitting back in his chair that was two sizes too big for him and his mouth curved up into a smug smirk as he sipped his favorite tea.

Ichigo made a mental note to never anger the white-haired kid again. He was about to ask Yachiru when Kenpachi was going to come when he felt the overpowering reiatsu of said shinigami.

"Ken-chan's here!" Yachiru sang as she jumped off the bed and ran towards Ichigo's door. The teen grabbed the back of her robe and dragged her back to his bed quickly.

"Stay here, I'll be right back. Kon, please make sure she stays!" he ordered over his shoulder. Crap! How did I get into these things? I just hope he doesn't— Too late. Ichigo jumped the last few steps on his staircase and stared at the sight before him.

If it were anyone but Kenpachi, he might have been tempted to laugh. The large man was standing outside his front door, his hand raised in the air as if to knock on the door, but said door was on the floor, having been completely torn off its hinges, while his father stood out of harm's way, having evidently jumped at the last second. Both men were staring at the door in shock and surprise.

What was really strange was seeing Kenpachi in anything but his haori and shihakusho; he had opted for black pants and a large, white collared shirt. The taichou still had his hair spiked with the bells at the tips, as well as his eye patch, giving the appearance of a deranged pirate.

"Who are you?" Isshin finally asked of the rather strange guest. Before Kenpachi could open his mouth, Ichigo sprinted forward and turned to his father.

"He's one of my teachers!" he said nervously, chuckling with a fidgety tone in his voice. "I asked for his help—because . . . I—uh, don't understand this chapter, and . . . he's gonna be in my room for a while?"

Ichigo's father stared at him in bewilderment for a few seconds, then burst into dramatic sobs, a content smile plastered on his face while he began to wipe away the tears.

"My dear son has taken it upon himself to do what it takes to get good grades!" he proclaimed, looking away to no one in particular. "He is such a star student, truly worthy—"

As he rambled on and on Kenpachi looked at the man with disgust, his fingers clearly itching to grasp his sword and slice the pathetic human who dared call himself a man. Noticing the look in his eye Ichigo grasped him by the arm and steered him up the stairs.

When they arrived Yachiru squealed with delight and resumed her normal position on his shoulder while Kenpachi gave a quick survey of the room, not noticing the small stuffed animal that was hiding underneath the bed, deadly frightened of the large size of the new arrival.

Sooo, what am I supposed to do? Ichigo wondered fervently, not at all comfortable with the deranged man inside his room, or house for that matter. The shinigami was beginning to stare at him with that hungry look in his eye, and Ichigo knew it was a matter of time before he would draw his zanpakuto and engage him in a fight against his own free will.

"Um . . . how about I go call Chad?" Ichigo said. Kenpachi shrugged then sat on Ichigo's bed, it groaning underneath his weight. Worried that they might start destroying his room, the teen reached into his closet and pulled out an old T.V. he never used (seeing as how schoolwork and substitute shinigami work ruined any hope of a normal social life) and turned it on after plugging it into a wall.

"Just look at that until I come back," he pleaded desperately as he sprinted out the door, leaving two very curious shinigami who stared at the device with rapt interest.

"Chad?"

"Mm."

"Looks like Kenpachi is going to have to stay at my house today. Do you think you could come over before he starts attacking me and destroys my house?"

There was a slight pause. "Sure."

"Thank you so much," Ichigo said gratefully as he hung up the phone. At least with Chad's calming presence Kenpachi might not be as obligated to invoke a death match.

Not wanting to go upstairs just yet, Ichigo took a deep breath and slid down the wall the phone was attached to, drowning in self pity. Why do all these things happen to me?

"Onii-san?" Ichigo glanced up and noticed Yuzu staring at him concernedly as she prepared breakfast. "Is something wrong?"

Ichigo gave her a rare warm smile and pushed himself off the floor, pausing to ruffle his younger sister's hair. "Yeah, just a little tired. Chad's gonna come over for a little bit." Yuzu nodded her understanding and resumed her work. Ichigo watched her for a moment, then walked over to the base of the stairs and sat down to wait for Chad.

In no time at all there was a polite knock on the door and Ichigo quickly opened it to reveal his giant yet gentle friend.

"Hurry! He's in my room!" Ichigo frantically rushed up the stairs with Chad a step behind him, wondering what was wrong.

When they entered the room Kenpachi and Yachiru were still intently focused on the T.V. screen, but when the shinigami taichou glanced up at the two boys with a devilish grin, Ichigo knew that whatever he had to say next was definitely not going to be good.

Half an hour later Ichigo felt like banging his head against a wall. WHY does this have to happen to me?

To his horror, he had turned the T.V. to the Monster Truck Smashdown, and Kenpachi had been so enthralled by the sight of the enormous machines ruthlessly crashing into each other that he wanted to see it in person. At first Ichigo had thought of trying to dissuade him from desiring to go there, but then thought better of it. At least it will distract him from wanting to fight me, he figured. Only problem was, with all that excitement he was undoubtedly going to experience, the chance that it would only heighten his desire to fight Ichigo was incredibly high. He just prayed that nothing out of the ordinary would happen.

And so, here they were, three guys and a pink-haired girl whom no one could see because she didn't want to wear a gigai, sitting in the audience of Monster Truck Smashdown, where Ichigo was feeling more and more the outsider with all the burly men and scary-looking females, him being skinny and not as muscular as his male companions. At least his hair color didn't stand out that much, as most of the audience had bleached hair that appeared to be all shades of the rainbow.

After three matches had commenced, with Katsu winning every round, the announcer stepped forward and addressed the audience.

"Today, we are offering a once and a lifetime opportunity!" the announcer boomed, drowning all the cheers from the stands. "We are offering you, the chance to take on the amazing, undefeatable, and powerful—Katsu!" At the mention of his name the burly man howled and raised his hands above his head, moving along with the cheers of the crowd.

Katsu appeared to be everything one would imagine of an all champion trucker; his large height accentuated by the bulging biceps on his arms that he was all too happy to flex, tattoos littered his body while four piercings in each ear completed the look. He wore a blue shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a gray skull with a crack down the middle as well as silver-gray pants. It appeared that everyone worshiped him, but none were too keen on fighting him. It grew quiet as people glanced around, wanting someone to go down but not at all willing to do so themselves.

"This will be fun, huh, Ichi?" Yachiru giggled, swinging her feet on the bench gleefully.

"Not if no one—" Suddenly Ichigo noticed Yachiru was no longer on Kenpachi's back.

"WHERE DID HE GO?"

"To fight," she answered simply. In utter horror, Chad and Ichigo glanced down to the center ring and saw Kenpachi walking up to the announcer.

"There are SO many things that could go wrong!" Ichigo wailed, having half a mind to stop the man with his shinigami powers. "What if his gigai gets injured and he comes out? What if he tries to use his sword! Will they even let him? That Katsu doesn't stand a chance!"

"Ken-chan wouldn't go against him if he didn't feel he was worthy enough," Yachiru scoffed, as if thinking Kenpachi's opponent was weak was an insult to her taichou. "Just watch."

Realizing there was nothing he could do, Ichigo sat down in defeat, folded his arms angrily, and watched as the announcer proudly showed Kenpachi to the truck he would use in the fight.

After a moments pause Chad turned to his friend. "Does he even know how to drive?" Stunned, Ichigo stared at the shinigami step into the vehicle and slapped his head.

This is definitely not my day.

A few minutes later the crowd was roaring with anticipation, stomping their feet and screaming out various comments to either Kenpachi or Katsu. When the bell sounded, they were off. Katsu charged towards Kenpachi with his monster truck, which had what appeared to be bloody flames along the side and the front had a painted face with razor-sharp teeth on the fender with blood dripping down them, giving the illusion that the car would crush the opponent with its mouth, sending the blood of the driver everywhere.

Kenpachi's truck was relatively simpler and a lot less gory. It was a deep blue hue with black lettering all along the sides, as well as silver spikes that jutted out along the rims of the truck. He was doing relatively well for not having a clue what he was doing, just gathering speed as he drove straight for Katsu's truck.

At those speeds, the collision was so forceful that parts went flying everywhere and the audience had to shield their eyes from the dust cloud that followed. Once it was safe to look, they gasped in amazement at the condition of Kenpachi's truck.

It was completely battered; all four wheels ripped from the axles and lying in heaps all around the ring, the front bashed in and no sign of Kenpachi. Katsu's truck on the other hand was damaged as well, but the front was only dented it so that it was hard to interpret what the design was. Other than that his truck was in good shape, and his top half emerged from the opening in the roof as he held his hands up in victory to the cheers of the crowd. The helmet he wore was partially dented, and there was a small trail of blood running down his face, but other than that he appeared to be in good health.

Slightly worried for their friend, Ichigo and Chad frantically stared at the wreckage, hoping to see a glance of Kenpachi while Yachiru just hummed happily.

"Don't worry, Ken-chan will be fine! It will take more than that to hurt him," Yachiru scolded. "If anything, he's more excited than ever!"

True to her prediction, the crowd gasped in amazement as they noticed Kenpachi standing in front of Katsu's truck. One of his sleeves was torn off, the rest of the shirt in ragged threads, his whole body smeared with dirt and tiny trails of deep, red blood, but neither of it could dissuade the demonic smirk etched into his face; his eyes wild with uncontrollable mirth.

The pandemonium that had filled the stadium faded away into stunned silence as everyone wondered what the man would do next.

"Still alive, punk? You'd better get out of my way or I'll be forced to crush you!" Katsu jeered, with slight hesitation and fear evident in his voice.

"I am overjoyed," Kenpachi began slowly, with the inhabitants of the stadium hanging on his every word, "that this event poses a greater challenge than I thought. However—" (he lifted his head to face Katsu) "It appears that the threat and true power comes from this truck, and not you! Prepare to die!"

With that said, Kenpachi drew a fist back and punched the tire closest to him, sending it flying into the opposite wall with such force that it was embedded in the concrete. With no time to spare, Kenpachi turned to the other front tire and did the same, causing it to land beside its double in the wall. The truck screeched as the front half swung down, completely unbalanced due to the absence of the front tires, and Kenpachi held up his left hand as if to catch it.

People were screaming, not able to comprehend the fact that a mere mortal could accomplish such a feat, and began to fear for their lives. When the dust caused by the disconnection of the tires grew thin, it revealed Kenpachi holding up the front of the truck with his bare hand. Katsu cried out in fright as his opponent gazed at him, killer intent emanating from his body. Kenpachi howled with pleasure as he brought his other hand up and grasped the fender, then rotated his stance so that while holding the fender he was facing the opposite direction. Everyone panicked upon realizing what he was planning to do and began to exit the stadium as fast as they could.

Katsu's pleas for Kenpachi to stop were unheard as the shinigami put all his strength into throwing the truck, which he succeeded in doing after a minute or so of struggling. Ichigo, Chad, and Yachiru watched in amazement as the massive truck flew through the air almost peacefully until it collided with the wall where many of the opposing trucks were being stored. There was a large eruption from the crash and a blast of air came spiraling towards the onlookers, followed by a large cloud of dust that soon enveloped the surrounding area.

The three onlookers choked on the dust and did their best to clear the air around them to see. Ichigo snatched the medal he had received in Soul Society and pressed it against his chest, separating his shinigami form from his human body, and blasted away all the dust with a burst of reiatsu. Glancing around frantically, they found Kenpachi and discovered he was still standing in the same spot.

Once he could see the wreckage he had caused, he threw back his head and howled in utter delight.

"You are truly a worthy opponent, truck!" he declared. "Don't disappoint me and be finished now! Fight and defend yourself!" Then he lunged forward, fully intent on continuing the fight. "I haven't had enough yet! It's only just begun!"

Knowing that the situation could get much, much worse; Ichigo, Yachiru, and Chad jumped off the stands, with Ichigo brandishing Zangetsu, Chad powering up his Hollow-like right arm, and Yachiru just jumping through the air towards Kenpachi, intent on stopping him before he could get any further and fully decimate the whole building.

There you have it! I hope that it was all to your satisfaction, and it was actually longer than I expected it to be. Oh well. This fic is sorta my first try at comic relief, and I hope I'm doing well. Katsu means victory, if anyone wanted to know.

Who should be next? I've gotten some great suggestions already but I need more!