Title – Lucky
Disclaimer – I don't own CSI :(. But I am sure if we all pull our money together we can buy Sara and Grissom to make their own CSI together haha.
Summary – Grissom comes face to face with his worst fears. WARNING major Sara angst.
Rating – T
Author's Note – This story takes place sometime around the fifth season.
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The creaks and electrical buzzing sounds from the fridge he could handle. It was the nostalgic reminder of how lonely and empty his town house was. Only he and his experiments vacated the house… rarely. Mostly he just resided at work, along with his experiments much to everyone's dismay. They claim the experiments funk with the taste of their food.
What Gil could not take, was the sniffling he occasionally heard as he sat there on his couch, feet propped up on the coffee table in the quiet, still darkness. Any other sound in the house would easily conceal her mournful cries since she was doing her best to conceal the sounds but since he sat here in total recluse, it was easy to distinguish the gasps, hiccups and sniffles.
He stood up from his spot and stretched his aching back. He was exhausted but he would not sleep a wink. Not with Sara in this condition… she needed him to be vigilant. He stepped over to his sliding glass door which led out to the patio. There wasn't much of a sight, but beyond the lush green grass was a plain ten foot wall blocking a city of sin and deceit. The blinking lights, sirens, and honking horns were well blocked from his hearing after years and years of listening to it.
Sara grew up in California, San Francisco area and was used to calm waves soothing her to sleep versus the loud busy radical streets of Vegas. He knew this because she had admitted to him one night during a rather stressful abuse case. She didn't sleep well here, and that was why she could stay up for days on end. What she failed to mention is she fell asleep to yells and sobs every night as a child and now she suffers from night mares and post traumatic stress disorder. Vegas just awaken those thoughts.
Las Vegas, the city of hopes and disasters. It brought so many tourists and kept so many to wither and diminish. They arrive young and a pocket full of quarters in hopes of hitting the jackpot, but they either leave broke and in debt or they sign their soul to the great gods of gambling himself. Even the casino's themselves tried everything they could to keep one hidden away in the slots of money eating devil's by dimming the lights, putting no clocks anywhere and even have special carpet designs.
He chose his particular home mainly because where ever he looked he couldn't see the damn strip. Gil was intrigued by Vegas, always has and always will but interested didn't mean he had to like it all the time. When he was home he wanted to shut the Sin City out and live in his own world of peaceful bugs only doing what nature intended them to do.
He moved back from the window and went to sit at his kitchen table where a magazine lay showing a car add of a Buick driving across the Golden Gate Bridge. Gil loved to teach and share his knowledge. That was mainly why he went to teach for a few days in 'Frisco. He had to admit it was the best decision he ever made in his life.
Not only did he get to eat fresh sea food straight from the ocean, but the cool salty breeze chilled his cheeks instead of the crisp skin splitting air back in Vegas relaxed him. He took a walk after every lesson and just sat, listening to the waves.
His third day upon his arrival he saw a brunette waltz by with a tiny dog barely keeping up. He recognized her immediately, the brilliant girl in his front row asking so many questions. Sara… Sidle.
Today was the end session of their class and she lagged behind, asking questions but when she finally left he couldn't help but feel she wanted something else. He stood up from his place and walked over to her, listening and observing.
"Awe Hermes its okay… I know how you love to travel and all but we'll be home soon!" She cooed to the Chihuahua mixed with Jack-Russell dog. The dog was chubby and looked old with gray mixing with his reddish brown coat.
He made a step closer and the dog barked towards him. The young brunette turned around and looked surprised.
"Dr. Grissom!" her eyebrows held surprise but when she spoke, she gave away no hints.
"Sara…. Sidle if I remember correctly?" He approached and knelt down to pet the chubby dog.
"Hermes my dog… ancient as Zeus himself but feisty and quirky as Apollo." She brushed her hair behind her ear and Grissom felt that twinge of intrigue.
"You are brilliant Sara, never have I seen someone that interactive in my lessons before." He stood up and laughed as Hermes scratched his toes.
She just stood there and laughed. She hasn't laughed like that since he first met her. They talked for a long time, even took a picture together. They had dinner, swapped e-mails and even numbers before they parted ways.
He let his eyes drift to an appetizing drink sitting next to a young blonde woman laying next to a sex appeal tanned mussel man on a cot. They were obviously at the beach with the tropical oceans of Hawaii.
He snapped his fingers and grabbed a piece of paper, an add for another vacation spot and retreated to his bedroom for some privacy and shut the door. He had a call to make.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Sara knew Grissom was awake and walking about the house, it was subtle, but she heard footsteps signaling his movement. She wanted nothing more then to be home, but her trust was obviously being questioned. She knew what she did was going to take some major trust building but right now… she had to wonder, was she really crazy?
She has battled with her emotions for years, brought blades to her wrists when she was young never following through and in turn resorted to pill after pill of her mother's anti depressants or valium. The abuse was dulled by the pills and was the only time Sara felt relaxed when she lay in her bed, mind swirling and contemplating. The bruises on her broken body were dulled and rarely hurt unless she ran out of pills.
Sara always wondered if a murder gene ran in her family… she felt violent and angry, especially towards domestic violence and spouse abuse cases. She would lash out and verbally attack, even hurting herself by lack of food, sleep, and rationalization. Ever since she joined the forensics academy she always battled with her inner demons, wondering if she would be able to keep them at bay and never harm another human being.
Yes Sara was constantly questioning her sanity. She spent months and months in psychiatric hospitals visiting her mother. The scent and people left a permanent imprint on her mind, scaring her forever. Laura would sit there during visiting hours just wobbling back and forth staring at noting in particular just fading in and out of consciousness. It was different from the mother she had when she was young. The one that would scream, yell, hit and hurt. Her father was the same… only he would take his anger out on her mother, breaking her jaw and fingers. He sometimes abused Sara, but mostly it was her mother. Time after time Sara thought it would have been best that she never had a relationship with her mother… unfortunately it didn't work out that way.
And she suffered for it every day of her life….
She ran her finger over the plastic hospital bracelet on her wrist and wondered what everyone would say had she succeeded in suicide? Would they investigate her house and find her dark secrets… she never washed her sheets from the other night… they would find signs of sex.
Normally Sara didn't bring men home, but her depression was wearing on her and after a long night she went to the bar for a drink and met a handsome man with olive eyes and dark brown hair. For whatever reason, lust, need for satisfaction or vent of frustration, she brought him home and slept with him. She kicked him out first thing in the morning, but she was content for the moment.
Sara sighed feeling her self pity rise again. Of all the ways to die, Sara did not want to take her own life. She did not want her life to be opened like a journal laying in a crowded street, and being a CSI she knew that exact thing would happen. She would not mind dying now… just not by her own hand. She would also like time to close up loose ends. Tell her mother how she really feels, perhaps tell Grissom what she felt also, and got rid of any past related material she possessed.
She sighed and once again lay on her side just thinking about everything. She really felt like slipping to the bottom.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Catherine went through every shed of Sara's clothes and came up with the same conclusion, Sara was running away. As she sat at the kitchen table in Sara's apartment she read through and saw Sara was all caught up on her bills… never really having any credit. Since Sara wasn't talking she wanted to figure out if this was a set up or was this really a suicide attempt? And why the hell was she staying with Grissom instead of at a hospital?
She stood up and looked at Brass who was looking at her books. They shared a look. Catherine always like Sara, but she knew the other's were closer to her. Gil was especially fond of her and Jim treated her like a daughter in ways. Greg idolized her and Nick treated her like a close sister, Warrick was the only one to treat her like a friend and nothing more. Of course he cared for her, but it was limited.
Gil, Catherine, and Brass decided to leave the boys out of this one. They said Sara had an accident and that was it. They wanted so bad to visit her but Grissom would fend them off saying she was quiet and not up to visitors. He explained that due to past circumstances she would not be staying in any hospital and will be staying at his place. Everyone seemed to take that as a sufficient answer.
Catherine stood up from the bathroom door and took the print, "I've got a print that doesn't match Sara's."
"A visitor? Maybe this was all staged." Jim guessed.
"I'm going to check out her sheets, I never did that." The blonde walked off, Brass was on her heels.
"Sheets? What are you planning on finding?"
"Signs of sex, possible suspect if Sara didn't do this." She moved the suitcases out of the way and took out her black light, moving the sheets from side to side, "I got semen. I'll swab DNA and send it to Greg."
"Sex? Who was Sara sleeping with?" Catherine smirked. Of course he'd be upset, even under normal circumstances.
"We will just have to find out." She said as she pushed the swab into its tab.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Donnie Thomas, you've got answers for us…" Brass began. The print got a hit, Donnie was arrested in his prime for a DUI. They scooped him up and brought him straight in for questioning. Having no link to Sara their case wasn't going far. Only proving Sara's depression even more.
"Do you recognize this woman?" Catherine asked as she slid a photo of Sara to the man sitting across from her. Brass was sitting next to her inspecting this guy with hazy eyes.
"Aw shit, I didn't know she was a hooker I swear I didn't pay her or anything!" The man was older, probably a few years older then Sara and had dark hair with dark eyes. His jaw was firm but his hands were shaking.
Catherine tried not to look upset at the thought of Sara being a prostitute and cocked an eyebrow.
"Why don't you start by telling us what happened the night you were with her?"
"I went to a bar and she was sitting there all alone, most women who show up alone are looking for some, so I go to her table and start talking to her. She was really pretty and smart too! Not what I expected at all, so she intrigued me… I asked her what she was doing that night and she looked upset. Then she looked at me and asked if I wanted to come to her place. I was all over her invitation, I mean she had miles and miles of legs I couldn't resist! But I swear I never paid her, I did my business and the crazy broad kicked me out next morning." His eyes were wide and fearful. He looked like a pale china doll in a glass cabinet.
"That was it? You had sex with her and left?" Catherine asked.
Donnie nodded his head, "I even used protection. Look, if it makes you feel better I tried calling her, make it right by taking her out on a date but she gave me a fake number." He pulled the number out and handed it to the CSI.
Catherine nodded and handed it to Brass, "Yup, she definitely wasn't looking for anything."
Brass nodded, "Alright Mr. Thomas, thank you for your help. Do you mind keeping in touch? Just in case something comes up?"
"Of course… Look she was really nice, if she is in some kind of trouble…" He trailed off as he grabbed his coat.
Jim nodded and led the man out talking to him out in the hallway. Catherine pulled her cell out and dialed Gil's number.
"Grissom." Came the response after three rings.
"Gil it's Cath I found something out but turns out it was nothing."
"Then why are you telling me?" He sounded snippy.
"Gil we found traces of sex in Sara's bed so we followed a lead thinking this could be a set up. Turns out Sara has been going to bars picking men up and bringing them home."
He was so silent Catherine had to wonder if he was still on the line, "Gil?"
"Again… Catherine why are you telling me this? Is it relevant?" His voice was tense.
"I thought you should know how upset your CSI is." She responded defensively and clicked her phone shut. The nerve of that man. She knew he was taking this hard but damn!
She heard a beep from her phone and looked down, a text from Gil saying, 'Sorry just upset.'
She sighed and leaned against the table watching Greg and Nick walk by talking, "Me too Gil… me too."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Grissom didn't need the extra baggage to hold so he tried to ignore the news he just received and dialed a number, it was early but Dr. Morgan did say call whenever.
He waited a few rings until Sara's doctor picked up, "Yes, Dr. Morgan, Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle's emergency contact?"
"Everything is well… as well as it can be. I have a question, would I be able to find a psychiatrist over seas?" He waited for the reply.
"Yes I think time away from here would do her good…. I agree. Yes thank you Dr. you too good bye."
Grissom hung up his phone and went out of his room to the guest bedroom Sara resided in. He knocked and when he received no reply he let himself in and quietly treaded to her bed. She was finally asleep and not a trace of discomfort on her face. Just soft breathing.
He smiled, and softly stroked her hair letting her sleep instead of interrupting her. She needed her rest. He would tell her the news in the morning.
Grissom walked out of the room and quietly shut her door. Now that she was asleep he could get some sleep also. They had an agreement, as long as Sara proved to be doing well and kept seeing a councilor then she was free to be away from the psychiatric hospital. But if she did not progress or even attempted to hurt herself then she would be put right back in. Grissom only hoped that he could keep her occupied from her thoughts and out of danger's way that would throw her into the hospital.
Perhaps what he was planning would help ease her mind and her damaged soul. He wasn't enough to heal her, but maybe, just maybe he would be able to give her some peace.
Sorry to those who are reading my other story! I just have to think of how to write it out and I will get that story done. For now I hope all who are reading this story are enjoying themselves! I am trying very hard to get this to be accurate to the show. I would like many to see this happening … it is my goal!