ALIVE

By Serena

A/N: Thanks to all of my wonderful readers!!! You guys are the awesomest. How's that grammar for ya? ;D

"W-what?" I stammered, trying to pull back from his overly tight grasp.

"I felt it – you were using the Force in a way that no amateur could ever hope to accomplish! You have lied – who trained you?"

I winced as his hands tightened ruthlessly. "Let go," I gasped. "Let go, please." I froze as I suddenly heard voices in the back of my head – one of them sounding eerily like me…

Don't get excited!

Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.

Sorry, sweetheart. Haven't got time for anything else.

I cringed, my eyes screwing shut. "Stop it," I hissed. "I can't… I can't do this anymore!" I stared back up at Vader, who was gazing at me, and felt a sudden wave of resentment and anger. "Release me," I ordered coldly.

But he didn't. "What did you see?" he demanded.

"I don't know!" I cried. "I don't know!" I could feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes as my head began to spin crazily. Just leave me alone… "You're hurting me!"

Anakin, you're breaking my heart!

I gasped again as I sensed the raw pain in those unfamiliar words. "Breaking my heart?" I whispered in confusion. Where did all of these short-lived memories keep coming from? Why didn't I know anything yet?

I was shocked when Vader abruptly jerked away from me as if he were touching his lightsaber. "What did you say?" he breathed.

"I don't… I don't know. This is so frustrating, Vader," I said through clenched teeth as I stared down at my hands. "I can't remember! Why can't I remember who I am?"

He was silent for a long moment. "This has been too early," he said finally. "You are still suffering from trauma from your injuries. I'll take you back to your quarters."

"No," I gasped. "I can't do this – I need answers. I'm going to go mad!"

Vader picked me up and began carrying me back to my room. "You need to calm yourself. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. This could be the chance for you to start a new, better life."

"But how will I know it's better if I don't know what my other life was like?" I demanded.

He had no answer.

Once we returned to my quarters, I pleaded, "Please, Vader, isn't there something I can do? Read? If I'm going to start over, I need to know what's out there."

He gazed at me, seeming wary and uncertain. "I'll have something brought to your room."

"Thank you," I nodded. When datapads and holos were brought to me, I instantly grabbed one and began devouring the information.

The Jedi's attempt to assassinate Chancellor Palpatine failed, and thus the traitorous Jedi were found guilty of high treason and were eliminated as a threat from the galaxy. It was then that the great Empire began under the just rule of Emperor Palpatine, and his second-in-command, Darth Vader.

Vader! Vader was the second most powerful man in the galaxy? But who were these Jedi? And why would they attempt to assassinate Palpatine? As I continued reading more, I discovered that the Jedi were once keepers of the peace, working under the Republic, but they had grown hungry for power and decided to therefore take over the galaxy. I suppose anything could be possible, but since they hadn't tried to take over the galaxy before for hundreds of years, why would they suddenly do so now?

I frowned. There were two sides to every story. I would like the whole picture, but these were all written by Imperialists. Well, maybe the Empire was better for the galaxy, I mused. After all, Lord Vader did save my life and take me in when he didn't have to. Perhaps the Jedi were really the bad guys.

Still… I couldn't ignore my deeper senses telling me something was slightly off. Call in intuition, but I just knew there was more to the story. I wondered, however, if Vader, being the head of the Empire, would allow me to see the other side.

But why wouldn't he? If the Empire were as just and good as all of these documents claimed, then I would have no trouble doing more research myself.

I continued reading about the new threat, miniscule but still a threat, to the Empire: The Rebel Alliance. Upon first hearing that name, I felt an odd twinge of delight and even pride, but I had no idea why. Dismissing the feelings, I went on to read that the Alliance had destroyed the Empire's protective defense system: the Death Star.

Doesn't sound like a defensive system, I thought. Sounds more like a weapon. But why would they need that massive a weapon unless they had enemies? Maybe pirates?

The whole thing seemed a bit skeptical to me, but I decided to keep these thoughts to myself for a time. I wanted to see what Vader was actually like before I made any judgments. Although, by the way he had treated me back in the training room, I was a little more wary of him. He seemed almost dangerous.

Still, he had rescued me. I owed him my life.

With a heavy sigh, I resumed my reading.

"This is Commander Skywalker reporting in," Luke announced over the com as his X-Wing and the Millennium Falcon soared into the Rebel fleet. "Requesting permission to land."

After a moment, Crix Madine greeted him. "Commander Skywalker, it's good to have you back. And with Captain Solo, I see. Well done."

"Don't sound so excited to see me," Han's voice dryly butted into the conversation. Luke smirked, knowing that Han and Madine didn't always see eye to eye on things.

"Captain Solo," Madine said, sounding slightly irritated. "I trust you're injured?"

"Sorry to disappoint," said Han cheekily. But his voice quickly turned serious as he said, "Any updates on Leia?"

"We'll talk about it inside," Madine said after a pause. "You're cleared to land in docking bay five." The com shut off, and Luke frowned.

Han said slowly, "Is it just me, or is anyone else having a bad feeling about this?"

"It's not just you, Han," Luke said grimly.

Once on board the head ship, Luke and Han, along with Lando and Chewie found the Rebel leaders in the conference room, all of them somber and grave. Han and Luke exchanged concerned glances at the looks on the leader's faces.

"What have you found out about Leia?" Han instantly demanded.

Mon Mothma replied calmly, "Nothing. Any trace of her has disappeared. We've searched all nearby planets, but we've found nothing."

"Then we obviously haven't searched hard enough," Han snarled.

"Captain, that's enough," Madine snapped. "We're already straining our resources as it is trying to locate the Princess. We know how important an asset she is, but right now we have more important things to worry about."

Han and Luke both stared at him in astonishment. "More important things?" Han said, his voice shaking with rage. Luke was also struggling to control his temper, and Chewie started to growl.

"Gentlemen, please," Mon Mothma said coolly. "The General didn't mean it that way. What he's saying is that although Princess Leia is a valuable member of the Rebellion, we're hearing reports of a new, deadly threat from the Empire. Reports of a new Death Star."

Han's jaw tightened. "What are you saying?" he demanded.

"You're going to just forget about Leia?" Luke added in shock.

"Of course not," Mothma objected, "But you have to understand that she is not our main priority at the moment. We have to think of the galaxy, Commander Skywalker. You, as a Jedi, should understand that sometimes sacrifices have to be made."

Luke felt another flash of anger. Who was this woman to tell him what Jedi were supposed to do? He resisted making a biting remark, determined to quench his anger and remain calm.

"Sacrifices, my - " Han stopped himself abruptly, breathing hard. "Leia would never do something like this. To any of you. She would've made sure that you were back, safe, no matter what. You don't deserve her," he said harshly, and Luke could see his eyes shining from unshed tears. He realized then how much Han loved Leia, and he felt a pang of sorrow for his best friend.

Luke stiffened and stared down the leaders coldly. "So we're just going to nothing about Leia?" he said. "Is this the final word?"

"Commander, you'd best watch your tone," Madine said sharply.

"No," Han growled, "Watch this. I'm outta here." He turned abruptly and started out the doorway, when Mothma said, startled, "Captain, what are you doing?"

Han turned, glaring at her. "I'm gonna go look for her. Try and stop me." He stormed out of the room.

Chewie snarled at the leaders and followed his friend out of the room. Once he was gone, an awkward silence descended upon the room until Lando said, "Forget this. I'm with him. Besides, someone's gotta look out for that pirate." He also walked out of the room.

Mothma turned her gaze to a grave Luke. "And you, Commander? Will you desert as well? Or will you do your duty as a Jedi and a Commander and stay with your men?"

Luke stared at her unflinchingly. "My duty is to my friends. To Leia. As for being a Commander, Wedge will understand completely. I'm sorry it has to be this way. But we haven't deserted you. You've deserted us. And Leia." He turned and left the room.

So that's it for that chapter. For those of you who know me well, I really don't like Mon Mothma or Madine at all. Or Yoda. Or Mace. So basically all the top leaders of the good guy squad. Don't know why.

Review if you wish. Would make a really nice early Christmas present! :D

- Serena