AN: Et viola, it's a super sneaky surprise update! Ok this is partly because this is a pretty short chap, and partly because my birthday is Wednesday and I wanted to be able to post my favorite chapter on my birthday. :) So look out for another chap on Monday and then it's back to the every other day updates. Enjoy!

Chapter 16 – My Lifeline

When things go bad you always need something to keep you grounded. Having something or someone to keep you focused on reality stops you from spiraling off course whenever your life seems to pull a fast one on you. We all have support systems, family and friends who protect us and help us up, but I'm talking about a real lifeline. That one thing that you may not always reach for in the little things, but when something completely unexpected knocks you off your feet it's the first thing you reach for and cling to with everything you have.

Despite having just gotten back from the funeral of a little girl, I felt better than I had in days. Don't get me wrong, I was still horribly depressed about Lily's death, but I didn't feel quite as lost as I had before. Spending more time in the hospital without Lily would be hard and I knew I was going to have a difficult time dealing with it, but at the same time I knew there was something else there for me now. Dr. Cox.

Having him open up to me the way he did was remarkable, especially since I had been told how he always blew off people who tried to get into his head. And I believed it all too, because that was just his personality. He didn't talk about his feelings much at all. I could understand that, I had gotten a little uncomfortable with it too. Then while we were sitting alone in the middle of that graveyard he spilled it all. Well, maybe not all of it, but he did make an attempt. And that made me feel better than anything else possibly could have. Gaining some sort of closeness with the man who my memories seemed so attached to was a welcoming comfort.

Now we were back to the hospital and I was actually grateful. Not just because I finally felt like I had dealt with my grief over Lily, but because I wasn't physically feeling so hot. I was freezing even though I was wearing a real shirt and a bulky sports jacket, not to mention pants for the first time in a month. My leg and ribs and head were all starting to pound now that the morphine was wearing off, (I had pretended not to feel the pain so Dr. Cox wouldn't illegally inject me off hospital grounds), and there was an uncomfortable fluttery feeling in my chest that made me feel like my heart was doing some rhythm-less cha cha against my lungs.

Just as we were reaching my room, Dr. Cox's phone rang (playing Star Wars, how cool is that?) and he answered it with a snapped, "What?" I just grinned, knowing who it was. He and Jordan sure were a crazy couple, but there was something pretty comforting in knowing that sometimes when he was acting like an ass it was out of compassion. It managed to transform an irate, insult-ridden rant into a sort of paternal lecture filled with hidden affection and genuine concern. He would always deny it, but I knew it was true.

"And pray tell me, oh darling of mine, why oh why you waited until this very second to tell me?" Dr. Cox asked into the phone with an impressive amount of sarcasm. He apparently wasn't pleased with her answer because he slipped into a scowl. "Alright, alright, fine. You owe me though." A smile again. "I'm holding you to that." One of those laughs where he tried to hide the fact he's amused. "God you are terrible." Another laugh and he closed the phone.

"Jordan again?" I asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to get him talking again. We hadn't spoken much on the drive back, mostly because I didn't want him to notice that my teeth were threatening to chatter.

"Yeah," he answered and poked his head out into the hall. He whistled that surprisingly sharp whistle of his that sounded like you were being physically slapped in the ear. Where did he learn to do that? "You, come," he shouted at someone in the hall and a moment later a nervous intern, visibly shaking, scurried into the room.

"Yes, Dr. Cox?" he asked in a wavering voice.

Ignoring him, Dr. Cox turned back to me. "Well the Banshee Queen only just now decided to inform me that in five minutes I am supposed to be getting the kids from her and taking them to the sitter while she's off to try and beautify her mottled green self along with her minion witches, so I've got to go. Tremors here," he pointed to the intern, "is going to get you situated back in your bed and will have you settled and comfortable by the time I get back in thirty minutes. Right, Tremors?"

"Uh, my name's Trevor," the intern offered awkwardly. Dr. Cox growled and Trevor instantly, albeit exasperatedly, said, "Yes, sir."

"Better," Dr. Cox said with a mocking smile. "One half hour. Try not to kill him, mkay? We're finally getting to the point where I might be able to turf him outta this place for someone else to deal with." As the intern nodded, Dr. Cox and I exchanged grins and then he stepped out into the hall.

The intern called in an orderly and they helped me into my bed, Trevor apologizing profusely every time I winced when they pressed against my ribs. They made me get rid of the jacket but I was grateful when they let me stay in the shirt and pants for now. I was still freezing and wanted the extra warmth if nothing else. First thing the intern did was replace my morphine drip, and I was relieved to see that without Dr. Cox in the room his hands were less shaky so I only got poked twice, and then he reattached me to all of the electronic monitors.

The first thing both of us noticed was my spiked temperature. He flinched at contact with my skin, hissing the word, "burning," before glancing at the monitor. The temperature read at 101 degrees Fahrenheit. Then both of our eyes traveled up to the jagged line representing my heartbeat. It looked uneven and sporadic in most places, some beats stronger and others way too weak, while the space between the beats varied to an alarming degree.

"Not good," the intern murmured under his breath. Had I not already known this, I would have been frightened by hearing my doctor say that. "Alright, I'm gonna go get some medication for you and I'll be right back." Then Trevor scooted out of the room, mumbling something that sounded like slurs against Dr. Cox taking me out of the hospital while I was still sick and how the Chief of Medicine abused his power. I only laughed at this. It wasn't like the guy knew the whole story, he was just a worried newbie. Probably afraid I was gonna kick the bucket while Cox was gone and then he'd get his head ripped out his ass. I was just shuddering out of that disturbing image when the intern returned with a paper cup of water and a smaller transparent plastic cup where a few white pills were sliding into each other.

"That was fast," I remarked with faint amusement, trying to start conversation.

Trevor smiled thinly as he handed me the two cups. "Take these," he said. "One to take down your fever and the other two should ease up that arrhythmia." Apparently the guy was still too afraid of me dying to bother with small talk. Or maybe he just didn't appreciate my sarcasm since it had actually taken him almost ten minutes. Rolling my eyes either way, I obediently downed the pills and drained the water. God I hate taking pills. Trevor took the empty cups from me and then stepped out into the hall again, but I saw that he never made it farther than the nurses' station, where he leaned against the counter and pretended like he wasn't watching my room.

Giving him up as a lost cause, I turned on the television and settled back. Carla stepped into the room only a minute later.

"Hey Bambi, how are you?" she asked in that soft mother voice she always seemed to adopt around me.

"I'm fine," I was able to say and sincerely mean it. I was sad but not devastatingly so. I knew I'd be okay.

Carla set her hand on my upper arm and then flinched back in the same way Trevor had. "You feel warm," she commented and her eyes turned to the monitors.

"They already gave me medicine for it," I assured her hastily before she went into mother bear mode. Mother hen was tolerable but mother bear was when she got murderous. "It's nothing big, I'm okay."

She looked unconvinced as she pursed her lips, but her eyes were soft as she brushed a few loose strands of hair off my forehead. Her fingers felt cool and refreshing against my skin. "Well I'm gonna come back in ten minutes and check on you just to be sure," she said. "And Turk will come up and see you once he gets out of surgery, but he's in the middle of a heart valve transplant so it could be a while."

"That's okay, I get it," I said with a shrug, smiling. My throat stuck and I cleared it, trying not to show my grimace as the motion hurt my ribs again. "Besides," I continued, "Dr. Cox'll be back any minute now. I can keep myself occupied for five minutes, don't worry." Carla smiled gently and pressed a light kiss on my forehead before walking back out to the nurses' station. I turned my attention back to the television but had only been watching for about three minutes when Dr. Cox appeared in the doorway, shaking his head.

"Crazy she-beast," he muttered to himself, crossing the room to drop into the chair by my bed. He had already ditched his tie, I noticed. For the best, he was toying with it the entire time we were at the funeral. "Why on earth she couldn't drop the kids off herself I will never know. I think she just likes driving me insane."

"Probably," I agreed with a one-shouldered shrug. I turned off the television again, knowing there would be nothing good on that I could watch without Dr. Cox ridiculing me. About the only show we could watch together in peace, surprisingly, was Days of Our Lives, and it actually surprised me just how well he seemed to follow what was going on. It was almost like he watched it regularly. I pondered this possibility for a while but found it just a little too abstract to picture Dr. Cox sitting around watching a soap opera.

I was envisioning him crying into a tissue about some twisted love triangle and how their love was just never meant to be, when that piercing whistle stirred me awake again. "Welcome back to earth, Dolly Daydream," he said with a raised eyebrow. Oops, I was still grinning like an idiot about that last fantasy. "I asked how you were feelin'?"

"Oh–" I blushed when my voice cracked and I cleared my throat to try again. "Better," I said. Okay, so it was sort of a lie. The pain in my leg and head had faded thanks to that beautiful morphine slipping through my systems, but my chest was still stinging. And I was still freezing, not to mention that for some reason my throat felt itchy.

"Good," Dr. Cox said, relaxing back into his chair and propping his feet on the corner of the bed again. "I'm surprised that incompetent Neanderthal actually managed to do something right and nawt kill you while I was gone. Not that I would've complained, honestly, but…"

I knew he wasn't really surprised. He wouldn't have entrusted the guy with a job if he hadn't known he was capable of doing it without supervision. Vintage Cox. I gave a quiet chuckle at this, but the laugh turned into a cough. Tears appeared in my eyes as I fought to control the spasms that were sending pain lancing through my ribs. When my breathing eventually returned to normal, if shallow, I saw Dr. Cox now standing over me.

"Y'alright there, Newbie?"

I tried to answer but my throat felt tight so I nodded. After swallowing a few times I managed, "Yeah," in a hoarse voice. "Choked."

"Choked on air?" Dr. Cox asked skeptically, his eyebrows raised. His expression was amused but there was something contrasting in his eyes. "Well there, that's just special, Rosie. Ya know, most people 'round here try to inhale the air, not ingest it."

"I'll try that next time," I joked sarcastically. Holy crap, was my voice really that bad or did it just sound that way to me? Apparently not, because I saw Dr. Cox's forehead wrinkle.

"You need some water there?"

I reflexively went to shake my head but then thought better of it. My throat really was starting to feel funny and maybe the water would help. "Yeah." Dr. Cox nodded and stepped out into the hall. While he was gone I took the time to slow and steady my breathing, because my chest was starting to feel strange too. When he came back with another paper cup in hand he offered it to me and I took a tentative sip. My throat seemed to not be listening to me anymore and I choked on the thankfully small amount of water. However it was enough to send me into another fit of coughing that made my side scream in protest, and my hand crushed around the cup, spilling water over my fingers and into my lap.

"Newbie?" Dr. Cox asked, stepping up to help me sit up, his hand rubbing over my back roughly. I answered with a pained gasp in between coughs. My stomach suddenly seized and the cramping washed another round of pain over me, but also brought a realization.

My free hand flew out to latch onto Dr. Cox's forearm. "Ana," I wheezed out and through squinted eyes I saw him lean closer to hear me. "Ana - flax."

"Anaflax?" Dr. Cox asked in confusion and then it clicked. "Anaphylactic." As he said this I tasted copper in my mouth, and felt stickiness on the fingers covering my lips. My head was pounding to the point where I could barely understand what Dr. Cox was shouting. The pain that surged through me at every failed attempt at breathing was the only thing that kept me from slipping away. I caught a few random words he said.

"Nurse…crashing…bronchial edema…epinephrine…intubate…"

The snatches were getting harder to keep track of as darkness pressed on my eyes even though I was sure they were still open. There was a sharp, quick sting in my arm. I could feel myself being touched dozens of places, and pressure where my body was being forced to lay flat against the bed. It was easier to do now, because I could no longer get enough air in to cough. There were fingers on my lips, forcing them apart, and a moment later I tasted something cold and metallic. More shouting and then the thing was gone. Instead there was pain at the front of my neck and a very uncomfortable feeling of pushing against my already stiff neck.

And then there was air in my lungs. I knew I wasn't pulling it in there myself, but it was there. The moment it was there I wished it was gone again because the burning sensation that spread through my ribs was excruciated. My body instinctively twitched and a strangled noise vibrated up through my chest, although I wasn't sure if it managed to actually escape me. It wouldn't have been heard over the shouting above me anyway.

I wasn't aware of anything but the pain. Everywhere seemed to hurt, or at least those places that didn't were being overpowered by the parts that were. I felt like I was drowning, but was also being electrocuted at the same time. I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much.

And then I felt a hand rest against my sweaty forehead. It was an unfamiliar touch but the hand was large and calming. A broad thumb was brushing a small circle over the bridge of my nose, an action that I found extremely relaxing. A voice was at my ear, talking to me in a frantic but oddly soothing tone, but I couldn't get a hold of the words. There was too much pressure in my head and on my chest. Instead I focused on the hand, and I clung to it like it was the only thing keeping me alive. And I knew that, in a way, it was.

AN2: Okay I apologize if there was a medical error in here. I based it off my own experience, but I'm not sure if there's a difference when it's medicinally-triggered anaphylaxis since mine wasn't caused by medicine. If there is a difference, someone inform me and I can fix it.