Chapter Two – The Heartache.
Things were extremely crowded around the Brurrow lately. I knew that he had to move on but I wish he didn't have to do it in front of me. I needed to get out. I escaped the tiny house and spent a lot of time in the field near the back of the house. It's were I use to come and sit and watch the stars at night.
I figured it'd be better if I wasn't around the house with Fleur and Bill. I was becoming bitter every minute I had to spend with them. But I also felt that it was my fault… if I hadn't run then, this would be different, or would it? I suppose things happen for a reason right?
Everything was just utterly… complex. It wasn't like I enjoyed being a bitter person. I made fun of people like me, shallow and jealous. I tried my hardest not to show how I was really feeling around them… any of them. But sadly Charlie could see through me. I'm hoping Bill couldn't.
"Hey Kat!" Charlie shouted. I waved my hand around.
"Come and eat with us." Charlie said. I nodded and he hoisted me up.
"Why do you come out to this field?" He asked as we made our way up towards the house.
"I dunno… I just… its quiet." I stammered unsure of what to say.
"How are you taking things…? I mean the first day you were easy to read but now… I'm not sure…" Charlie finally said. We stopped walking right outside the window.
"I told you before and I'll you again Charlie Weasley, I'm fine." I said. He studied my face and we kept walking. We got inside and the table was crowded. Tonks, Lupin and Sirius joined us for dinner tonight.
"Hey Kat!" Tonks shouted and knocked over her glass. I smiled and laughed.
"Hiya Tonks." I said as Charlie and I sat down across from Bill and Fleur. Lupin and Tonks filled us in on what's been going on outside of these walls. I tried hard to listen and focus, but I kept slipping into Bill's mind with Occlumency. I had an unnatural aptitude for it. It came rather easy and I could go into one's mind undetected. I looked at what he had been doing after I left.
I started to see more of Fleur… they'd just started dating a few months ago. I gazed towards Tonks and she babbled but something I saw in Bill's mind that made me look back at him. He looked at me and titled his head a little and I pulled out of his mind and held his gaze and then he broke it off and I took a big swig of Firewhiskey. I drained my goblet and poured myself more.
Charlie leaned in and I felt his nose against my hair as he whispered, "Slow down, Kat. I understand that you're fine but we do not need you getting drunk… Not like this. Not now." He said. I kept pouring but I thought about his words. I reached for a roll and saw Bill looking annoyed. Fleur whispered things to him all night.
Finally after dessert the Order members left and the kids went up stairs.
"Molly, would you like help?" I asked. I saw Fleur glare at me and I looked at her and shrugged.
"Sure darling… you could clear the table." Molly said as she started washing pans and pots.
I started gathering up plates and Fleur looked at me and she looked annoyed and asked, "Why don't ou use magic?"
"Because I have arms." I said looking annoyed that she'd ask that question. Just because we have magic doesn't mean we have to whip out our wands every time we've got to do something. I flicked my wand and all the food disappeared and I thought about putting a hex on Fleur so she'd shut up.
"Don't even think about it." Charlie said. I sighed and kept clearing. The table was done.
"Mrs. Weasley, es there anything I could do?" Fleur asked. I smirked to myself.
"No dear, Kat's got it." She said. Molly did the dishes and we sat around and had another glass of Firewhiskey.
"Another round?" Bill asked.
"Sure…" Everyone said.
"I'm going to pass on this round." I said went he came to me. I filled my cup with water and raised my glass slightly and took a sip. We sat around and talked when I finally excused myself unable to bear Fleur fussing over Bill any longer. I headed down to my field. I laid down and watched the stars.
"Oh! Bill look at zat moon." Fleur gushed. I looked inside Bill's mind and saw that he had guided her towards the field I was laying in.
"It's beautiful." Bill whispered as he stared up at the sky. I left his mind. It was silent, peaceful. I wondered if they realized I was out here. I mean this was the one spot I came to. I shrugged it off and looked at the sky.
"Bill, I really must be going." Fleur whispered as if she was waiting for him to say stay. He didn't answer; he too must have realized what she expected him to say.
"I'm glad you could come over… and…" He hesitated.
"And your mother 'ates me!" Fleur said.
"No, that it isn't true… she just… Kat's like her daughter… my mother doesn't think of her like a guest. Kat gets chores and she has to do house work. She's treated like one of us… Mum just doesn't want to work you because you're a guest." Bill said. I wondered how much Fleur knew and how much she had to guess.
"Alright Bill. I'm going to go… I'll see you at work." She said. She left with a loud crack.
"Kat…" Bill muttered.
"What?" I asked. After it was out of my mouth I realized that he hadn't been calling me. I froze in terror that now not only would I be found but it could have looked like I was spying. And worst of all, I needed a new hiding spot.
"Kat… are you in the field?" Bill asked as he walked down towards me.
"No…" I whispered. He chuckled. He sat down next to me.
"You've been awfully quiet… I'd expect you to mock her mercilessly…" Bill said. I locked my eyes with the stars.
"Are you happy?" I asked him. He was confused. He regrouped and said, "Yes, am I."
"Well, then, I am happy as well…" I propped myself up with my elbow and looked at him. I tried not to get lost in his eyes. "Bill… you know that… that's all I ever wanted right? I just want you to be happy… She seems to make you happy…" I said. He looked at me. I realized that I'd just gone from little kid trying to runaway from being found to adult in zero to ten seconds.
Bill just stared at me.
"So this is where you come when you aren't in the house?" He asked avoiding the whole topic all together.
"Yes… but, now I've got to find a new one… You know where it is… Charlie knows… it's not much of a hide out." I muttered.
"What are you hiding from?" Bill asked. I laid back down and stared up at the sky.
"I'm hiding from an over crowded house." I said carefully. He knew I was lying.
"I see…" He said.
"What are you hiding from?"
"Me? Nothing…" I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He laid down too.
"Bill you know that I didn't run because I didn't love you right?" I finally asked. He didn't move.
"Yes, I know." He said. I looked into his mind and flinched at the pain I'd caused him.
"Okay because I did… but… I just…" I stammered. My eyes started to shimmer with tears. I'd never told him that… we'd never talked about it but for some reason tonight, we would.
"I never meant to hurt you… I was just so young… and you were younger! I… I am so sorry." I whispered as the tears fell down my cheeks.
"Katherine…" I cried harder because he was the only one who ever used my full man. "Don't cry… I can't handle crying girls…" He whispered as he pulled me next to him. His arm wrapped around me and I buried my head into his side. I looked up at him.
"Why didn't you ever write me back?" I whispered. He looked confused.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Even though I left… I wrote you a letter a day for a year; three hundred and sixty-five letters. And you never not once wrote back… and that's when I knew for sure that you hated me." I whispered.
"Kat, I never got your letters…" He said. I shrugged. I laid there and it was like we were little again sneaking out of the house to be together. He lean over towards me a bit and looked me in the eyes.
"I would have written you back if I'd gotten a letter." He whispered. I leaned up and kissed him. This kiss was not as gentle as the last one. It held longing and lust in it. I opened my mouth as Bill deepened the kiss. He put his hand on the ground next to me and he came lower towards me.
"Kat!" Charlie called. We pulled apart. I knew Charlie had seen us. I got up and headed in.
" 'Night Charlie." I whispered as I passed him. He muttered something as he headed down to speak with his brother. I needed to stop being alone with Bill.