Chapter 2

Bella's POV:

That New Hot Lunch Table Stealing Bastard had some freaking nerve. There he sat, all perfect male-model looking, sitting with my oldfriends at my old lunch table, in the same exact place next to Jas that had always been meant for me. And Jas and Em and Ali and Rose were all laughing and talking to him like he'd known them for years. They had finally replaced me. The anger rose up inside so quickly that it literally left me reeling. My breathing became impossibly harder as I stared at the new fucking Breakfast Club forming in front of my eyes. I had a flashback to last year, at that same god-damn table, sitting next to Jas and Rose, across from Ali and Em, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. They had been my family.

Don't cry in the fucking cafeteria.

Then he looked at me and those damn green eyes of his had me captivated once again so I couldn't look away. I saw his expression turn icy and wondered what the hell my face looked like. I was most likely sneering at him, friend-stealing prick. He was saying something to Jas and to my horror Jasper turned and glanced at me quickly. I ducked my head right before Alice turned her attention to me as well. Time to flee.

I grabbed my bag off the floor and made my way hastily to the door, keeping my head down and staring at the floor like the coward I was. Once I was safely outside, I chanced one quick peep at their table through the window. They were all huddled together, talking intensely. Shit

I stared resolutely at the black lab table. If I looked up, I knew I'd read too much in his eyes. I had no idea if he had heard everything at lunch, but if he had, I wasn't eager to have his accusing gaze penetrate my eyes. My mind pulled against my better judgment and I found myself wondering why I even cared. This guy didn't know me at all, everyone else in this school already judged me and I dealt with it just fine. With a sinking feeling, I realized that he had been a small ray of hope. He was new and even though he was a total jerk, I could've talked to him without blushing furiously, without feeling self conscious, without being the crazy bitch who lost her mind and called the cops to a party with underage drinkers and ruined everyone's lives.

I heard his stool scratch against the floor and his sigh when he sat down. I looked up to the front of the room and kept my eyes on Mr. Scott, not listening to what he was saying, waiting anxiously for the judging stare to fall on me. The minutes felt like hours as we silently worked on our lab assignment. He hadn't looked at me, and eventually my resolve broke down and I looked sideways at him briefly. He looked so bored and annoyed that I involuntarily let out a laugh. I shut up quickly but he had already heard and I saw a crooked smile pull at his lips. It was so unfair of him to be so good-looking when I was trying to ignore him. I turned back to my work, trying to regain my composure.

"Fuck, this stuff is boring as shit." He whispered to me with a frustrated look in his eyes.

"But at least it's easy, right?" My voice sounded strange to me and I wondered vaguely when I'd used it last at school. I inwardly groaned when I realized that it was yesterday when I was bitching to this same unbelievably gorgeous guy about my stupid lunch table. He simply nodded, still looking down at his desk. God, I had to be boring as hell to talk to. But the hope was back; he was talking to me, kind of, so maybe he didn't know everything. Maybe they had kept their fucking mouths shut. I exhaled and decided to mend things before he could think anything worse of me than he already did. "Hey, um, I'm really sorry....about that whole.....lunch table thing. It was really immature and.....well, I feel like I was a real bitch to you and.... it wasn't your fault so I'm.....I'm really sorry." I stuttered.

"Don't worry about it," he said while shrugging his shoulders. I let out a huge sigh of relief and he chuckled quietly while raising his gaze to mine. "Were you really that fucking nervous about it?" He asked, with a slight smile on his lips. His perfect kissable lips.

"About what?" I asked with no clue of what he could possibly find amusing right now.

"About apologizing. You didn't really have to, you know?" His voice was suddenly full of...sympathy? "It was my fault, after all. I wasn't very nice about the whole thing." There was a knowing look in his eyes that made my heart start to hammer in my chest. "I'm sorry it even happened." He was apologizing to me. He sounded guilty and he was looking at me with pitiful eyes. And my stomach hit the floor, because he knew everything, and he was choosing to pity me. I was use to harsh stares and judgmental mutterings, but this was completely new to me; and it fucking stung. He thought I was pathetic. He thought I was weak. He felt bad for me. I just stared back at him, willing the angry tears not to fall down my cheeks. He finally spoke again as I stared into his beautiful green, pitying eyes. "I just realized I don't even know your name." He asked with a tone of curiosity to his voice.

I turned away from him then and whispered back, "Yes, you do" while wiping a tear from my cheek. God-damn emotions; I could never control them the way I needed to. I was being so irrational. I shouldn't have cared at all, but for some reason when I looked into his eyes and saw all the pity he had for me, it broke my heart a little bit. Maybe I wouldn't have cared if he wasn't so attractive, but then that would make me irrational and shallow, so I swallowed down that thought.

Edward's POV:

Shit. I thought me apologizing to her was a bit much, and fuck it if I wasn't right. I was trying to make her feel better, but instead I had made her fucking cry. I pulled my eyes from her wet face and fought with my mind to get a grip on myself. Because, for some unknown, god-damn reason, my fucking arms were aching to pull Bella toward me, to hug her until she felt better, to cradle her in my arms and protect her from the world. I reasoned that it must just be instinct at seeing someone so fucking tiny fucking cry.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking anywhere, but at her. Cause there was no reason to fucking hide the fact now. I had heard the whole damn story and she fucking knew it.

"Yea, I'm fine." She sniffled. "I'm sorry. I'm probably making you really uncomfortable, huh? I'm so sorry."

God, that was fucking annoying. "Has anyone ever told you that you apologize way too fucking much." I asked her. She looked at me then with flaming red, wet cheeks. She was fucking embarrassed. God-damn broken brain filter.

"Um...it's really the only thing that feels natural to me, anymore." I furrowed my brow at her. "Saying sorry for everything." She clarified in a whisper. She sounded so fucking depressed and lonely.

"Can we start over?" I was suddenly desperate to make her feel better. I held out my hand to her. "I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

She snorted and rolled her eyes but placed her hand in mine, nonetheless. It was so soft and warm, two times smaller than mine. Her fingers were thin and long and I grasped them gently and shook her hand. "Bella Swan." She said before dropping her hand from mine. My fingers were fucking tingling from the touch of her skin. I slipped my hand in my pocket, holding on to the god-damn warmth. I smiled at her and she smiled back and it must have been the first time I ever really fucking looked at her because my breath caught in my throat. She was fucking beautiful: pale, smooth skin framed with wavy, dark brown hair; slight cheekbones and the most adorable nose I had ever seen; eyes that were the deepest shade of blue, with golden flecks that made them sparkle, framed with a thick set of black lashes; delicate pink lips, the bottom one a bit fuller than the top. Everything about her face was elegant, even her god-damn jaw bone. And when she smiled, with glossy white teeth, only one dimple appeared in her left cheek. That's one of the cutest fucking things I've ever seen. "So...." she said awkwardly, probably because I was gaping at her. "Do you miss LA.?"

It took me a few seconds to realize she had spoken. "Uh, I miss the fucking sun, but that's about it."

"I can't imagine what it would be like to see the sun every day. It must've been heaven." She said wistfully.

"Well, it was a hell of a lot warmer." She chuckled at my lame-ass joke and the laughter lit up her face. It made her even more stunning.

"How did you know where I was from?" I asked a bit surprised that she knew that piece of information.

"I may be avoided like a leper at school, but this is still a small town, and everyone, parents included, were waiting for the new doctor and his son to show up." She said with mock excitement in her voice.

"Do you like Forks?" I asked her.

"Not really. I don't like the rain or the cold and that's basically all we ever get here. I sometimes think about going to live in Phoenix." She blurted out in a rush, obviously nervous. I wondered how long it'd been since she talked to anyone at school. Or anyone at all.

"You'd move to Phoenix by yourself?" I wanted to keep her talking, hoping that she'd relax after a while.

"No...." She shook her head. "My dad lives there, so....besides, I wouldn't really mind being alone anyway."

"Yea, I noticed." I smiled wryly at her and she laughed lightly. "So, if your dad's there, why don't you just go?" She looked at me like I was fucking insane.

"I wouldn't leave my mother." She said defensively.

"But after what you went through...wouldn't she understand that you wanted to get away from here?" I wasn't asking her questions to keep her talking anymore. I was honestly interested in her answer.

"Of course she would, but she needs me." She was still being defensive of her mother and that made me jealous, but I had no fucking clue why.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't understand why she wouldn't take every opportunity to just get the fuck out of here.

She laughed and slightly shook her head. "My mom's not what you would call domestic. Most of the time I feel like her mom, always taking care of her. But I love her, so I can't leave." She spoke with such conviction that there was no doubting her. She loved her mother enough to stay in a place where people avoided her like the plague.

My fucking throat closed up and my chest seared in pain. I closed my eyes tightly so that the fucking tears wouldn't come, but covered my face with my hands just in case. Get a grip, you pussy.

"Edward, is something wrong?" I could hear the concern in her voice. I exhaled deeply and looked up at her.

"No, that's really...good of you." My god-damn voice nearly betrayed me, it sounded so coarse. I offered her the best smile I had at that moment.

She shrugged and shook her head while saying: "It's not a big deal."

"Don't do that." I said a little fucking harshly. She looked at me quizzically. "Don't downplay it. Sacrificing your happiness for someone else...someone you love....that's a..." I cleared my throat hastily, "fucking amazing." Her eyes were boring into mine with concern and I fucking loathed it. I hated feeling weak, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from hers'. They were so fucking big, blue, dazzling.

When the bell rang, we both jumped slightly. She stood up hastily to pack her things. I didn't even realize we were still in class until the bell interrupted our time.

'Well, I'll see you tomorrow, right?" I asked; I noticed that I sounded a little hopeful. She whipped around to look at me and her fucking pretty hair fell over her shoulders.

"Yea, sure." She said before flashing me a slight smile and walking to the door, stumbling a bit over her own feet. I laughed, I couldn't help it. That was fucking cute. I bent down and began piling my shit into my bag, refusing to watch her retreating figure, lest I turn into that asshole that would shamelessly check her out. I won't be an asshole to this girl.

I walked out the door and came face to face with Jasper. He was leaning against the wall with a disapproving look on his face.

"Hey man, what's up?" I asked, even though I had a feeling I knew the answer.

"Not much. I see you're getting along well with your lab partner." He said with a knowing look on his face. I just shrugged. "Look, Edward, you're a cool fucking guy, but if you start hanging around with Bella Swan, you're gonna end up a social outcast just like her."

"I was just being nice. It's not like we're gonna be fucking friends or anything." I said hastily.

"Well, if you want to survive at this school, you'd be better off not talking to her at all. It sucks for her, but that's just the way it is." Jasper looked around the hallway. "I'm just trying to look out for you, alright?"

"Yea, alright. I'll fucking ignore her from now on." Jasper nodded and walked toward the parking lot, with me following him.

I waved to him as I got in my silver Volvo, deciding what I hated more about myself: That I was too much of a fucking coward and I would now start ignoring Bella or that I actually cared what Jasper and his fucking 'cool' friends thought of me. Fuck, I'm a pathetic sack of shit.

The worst part was she expected it. She fucking thought that I'd end up being a total prick and pretend that she didn't exist. She didn't look at me the next day in the lunch room while I sat with her old friends and my new group. She didn't even glance up from her book when I came into Biology and sat down next to her. And I didn't look at her. The hour passed slowly and I avoided any and all contact with Bella as best I could while we worked together. I had expected her to get all fucking huffy like she did about her damn lunch table. But she just fucking took it, like it didn't matter one god-damn bit that I was treating her like everyone else did. And it was making me a little fucking angry at her.

I was such a fucking asshole.