Bella's POV:

Edward's not my friend. He was nice to me one time in class, but that doesn't mean he wants to talk to me every day. Don't be a nuisance by trying to talk to him today. Go back to being invisible and if he wants to talk to you, he will. Good pitiful plan.

I got out of my car Friday morning, repeating the plan over and over again in my head. It's a good thing I was too, because when I saw him across the parking lot in his leather jacket and sunglasses, Damn, he's hot, I wanted nothing more than to go and talk to him again. Don't be a nuisance. It was so inconsiderate of him to talk to me and smile at me and make me laugh when he knew that we couldn't be friends. Jerk. And of course he owns the nicest car in the whole lot. Stupid Volvo Driving Jerk.

I was surprised and pleased with myself at how well I disregarded his presence throughout the day. I looked away from him immediately whenever I saw him in the hallway. I kept my nose buried in my book all throughout lunch. And in Biology, I acted as if I had never spoken to him before. Of course it was easy because he was thoroughly ignoring me as well. It hurt much more than it should have. The hour seemed longer than normal, most likely because I couldn't wait to flee from his presence. The smell coming off of him was intoxicating, mint, cream, and a hint of cigarette smoke, and it was making my resolve horribly unstable. When the bell rang, I raced to my old, rusty Ford truck that I adored and barely resisted the urge to spit on his shiny, fucking Volvo. So much for my brief affair with human interaction.

I tried to do homework that night, but my mind was a hopeless wanderer. It strayed to my fresh and already ingrained memories of Edward's crooked smile, his enchanting laugh, his perfect blazing green eyes, the way the sun lit up his messy, bronze hair. I didn't sleep well.

Saturday was even worse.

"Good morning, sweetheart." My mother chirped brightly at me when she flew into the kitchen.

"Morning." I said through a thick yawn.

"Did you sleep at all? You look awful." My mom was always honest; she said it kept her skin clean. She used to tell me that pimples were the ugly marks of lies.

"Wow, thanks mom. I'm fine, really." I put as much sarcasm into my response that I could muster up at this hour.

"Are you sure? You could always come to yoga with me. It supposed to relax you and center your chi." She said whimsically.

"So yoga's the latest trend now?" I asked with a smirk.

"Of course. I think it's what Cameron Diaz does, and God knows I'd love to have her butt." I laughed at my mom's logic before shaking my head.

"It's a tempting offer, but I think I'm just going to go to the bookstore. Have some breakfast before you go." I gestured to the full plate sitting in front of me.

"Oh, pancakes, yummy, thanks sweetie. What would I do without you?" She would never have to find out. She threw down a few bites before giving me a quick hug and rushing out the door. She had more energy at 39 then I'd ever had in my entire life. I cleaned up the kitchen quickly, eager to get outside and find something to occupy my thoughts.

There was one bookstore in my tiny town. It was poorly stocked and I owned basically every book that they had there so I set out to Port Angeles, the nearest city. The drive was long and I found myself going over the conversation Edward and I had had on Thursday, before all the ignoring had begun. He had seemed upset about something but I couldn't remember saying anything that should have upset him. I chose to focus on the parts of our interaction that gave me tingles down my spine: when he laughed at something I said, when he smiled back at me, the way he racked his fingers through his hair, making it impossibly messier.

I sighed at myself, I was such a stupid, hormonal teenage girl. I had a crush; it felt weird since I had sworn to loathe the disdainful gender of males for the rest of my life. Once over the summer I had even considered joining the nunnery. Alice would have called me crazy and scolded me for wasting tits as good as mine on God.

I laughed out loud in the truck, remembering the days when Alice and I would have sleepovers and stay up late, gushing over boys and stealing my mom's Cosmos and practicing flirting with each other. It had all been so innocent and fun. I swallowed thickly as tears welled up in my eyes. I hated crying.

I finally got to the bookstore and I rushed inside as the rain picked up. I pulled down the hood on my sweatshirt and glanced around. The store was bigger than any store in Forks, but it was deserted except for the elderly woman behind the cash register and the endless rows of books comforted me as I set off for the nearest aisle. I perused the titles in the novel section, taking my time. I found some of my favorites that I didn't own and I grabbed them all. My mom never objected to buying me books; it must be the teacher gene in her. Or maybe she liked spending all of her alimony money on things I didn't really need.

After 15 minutes, I was holding 9 books, my arms cramping under the weight of them all. I was making my way to the front of the store to get a bag and, just my fucking luck, there he was, walking through the door. Edward looked impossibly hotter with rain dripping from his golden, messy locks and onto his leather jacket. He must have seen me then cause his eyes got wide with shock and he abruptly froze in the doorway. We stared at each other for a split second before the awkwardness overwhelmed me and I turned around to walk back down the aisle. But of course, because I'm me, and because he was there, my exit couldn't be subtle. Fate just didn't want me to get off that easy. I walked right into the nearest bookcase, dropping all the books I'd been holding onto my feet and cursing loudly at the pain.

"Shit, ouch. Damn-it." I growled.

"Are you alright, dear?" The elderly woman asked from her desk.

"Sorry. Yea, I'm fine. I'm so sorry." I knelt on the floor to get my books, refusing to look towards the front of the store. I reached for the copy of Pride and Prejudice I had dropped when five long fingers picked it up and out of my reach.

"Did you drop this?" Edward asked, a smirk crossing his face when I stood up and looked him in the eye. Those perfect brilliant eyes.

"Thanks." I said huffily, snatching the book away from him and walking past him up the aisle. I felt him walking behind me, but I didn't stop; neither did he. I was too embarrassed to face my crush right now. I reached the back wall and sighed out in exasperation. "What do you want?" I asked him, still facing the wall.

He leaned closer to me and electricity coursed through my veins at the close contact. That was so embarrassing because he wasn't even touching me. I breathed in deeply and allowed his heavenly sent to fill up my brain. He put his lips to my ear and his hot breath sent shivers, the good kind, up my neck. "I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered, even though no one would hear him. I thrilled to the sound of him saying my name.

"What for?" I whispered back, slightly breathless, which the somewhat coherent part of my brain screamed was irrational.

He chuckled darkly. "For being such a dick to you on Friday. You don't deserve it."

"It's fine. I'm not an idiot. I didn't expect us to be best friends forever or....anything, for that matter." I tried to laugh nonchalantly but my mouth had gone so dry that I ended up coughing. He sighed next to my ear and leaned away from me. I shook my head to clear the cloudiness his smell had created and turned to face him. He was leaning against the bookcase and watching me intently.

"So, aren't you hooked on phonics?" He said, with that perfectly crooked smile lighting up his glorious face.

Edward's POV:

I am completely fucked. I was having the most comfortable and enjoyable day that I'd had in a long fucking time. Being with Bella, talking to her, laughing with her, teasing her, even fucking arguing with her, felt so god-damn normal. I fucking basked in the glory of talking to someone who was actually interesting and a person of substance. I didn't have to feign interest at all with her. We had been talking for hours and I was stilled engrossed in everything she said. Bella was, for lack of a better term, fucking cool as shit. It was quickly becoming crystal clear why she had once been so popular. She was gorgeous, but obviously not into herself; she wasn't even wearing any damn makeup. She had a fucking smart-ass mouth, too and loved rolling her eyes at me when she thought I was being a moron. But it didn't piss me off, it made her even more endearing to me.

Bella was a total Jane Austen freak, but I forgave her when she told me how much she loved On the Road, which had always been my favorite book. She teased me a bit at how much I loved Jurassic Park, but I was listening more to her cute as hell giggling. When we were done pouring over every book in the shop, we walked down the road to the cafe and split a cheese pizza; she wasn't hard to please. Bella wasn't shy about food either, asking for an order of bread sticks, too. When she heard me chuckling in amusement, I assured her that I was just fucking impressed that she actually ate real food; most of the girls at our school were the types to live on fucking veggies and rice cakes. Not Bella; she ate three slices of pizza herself and I just fucking shook my head at her; I had no idea where the hell all those carbs went. There was little, if fucking any, fat on her slight figure.

Our conversation during dinner had turned to music and I enjoyed teasing her when she gushed about how much she loved Coldplay. I tried to fucking stifle my laughter when I saw the blush creep up her neck and face. It didn't take much effort when she turned the questioning on me. I was positive that she'd think I was total fucking loser if I told her the truth that I listened to mostly classical and lounge music. But of course, because she was Bella, she exclaimed that she loved the old time shit and I sighed in relief when she agreed with me that rap music isn't music at all. Our waitress, who had been audaciously flirting with me the whole time we'd been there, was now getting pretty fucking pissed with us because we were the only two people left in the restaurant. I paid for dinner and I thought Bella was going to have a fucking heart attack over it before I assured that she could pay next time. Next time. I smiled inwardly at the thought. I had no fucking clue where the time had gone but it was suddenly ten o'clock and we both had to get the fuck home.

"I'm sorry, I'll be home soon, its' not even that late. Okay.....okay......I will.....okay." Bella sighed as she snapped her phone closed.

"Your mom's ticked, huh?" I asked, grinning at Bella's exasperated expression.

"It's so fucking stupid. I am way more responsible at seventeen than she's ever been in her entire fucking life." She huffed while digging through her bag for her keys.

"Fuck, listen to you curse. I think I've been a bad influence on you." I joked, smirking at her. She looked up at me but instead of smiling, like I thought she would be, she fucking surprised me again. She was completely flushed and biting her bottom nervously. She did a lot of cute shit like that.

"Look, today was great. You're really a good guy. But you don't have to do this." She finished with a big sigh.

"What am I doing?" I asked, confused as fuck.

"You don't have to be my friend. It's totally cool, I get it." She smiled reassuringly at me. It looked fucking forced.

"What if I want to be your friend?" I shot back at her.

She let out a shaky laugh. "You don't, trust me. I'm sort of an expert on these things."

"I don't give a shit what anyone thinks." I lied. Shit, I really fucking hated myself sometimes.

"Of course you do, but that's okay. Everyone does, I'm just trying to spare you from any feelings of guilt." Shit, she really meant it.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. She couldn't be more right and on top of it she was trying to protect me. I don't fucking deserve it. I don't know what made me say it, maybe all her fucking honesty was inspiring me or some shit, maybe I just wanted to see her smile for real one more time tonight, maybe I just fucking wanted her to know. "Look, Bella, I like you. You're cool as shit and fucking funny. I had a great time with you today. I'd like to hang out with you again." I said in a rush, staring at the fucking ground. I wasn't usually this nervous around girls.

"Okay." She said softly. I looked up at her then and she was smiling, a real fucking smile that lit up her face. "Just not at school." She added hastily. "I don't think I could take any more rumors about me going around." Her face fell a bit as she said the last words.

"We'll be secret friends, like when you're little and you didn't want anyone to know that you were actually friends with a girl." She quirked an eyebrow at me in confusion. "Cause they fucking had cooties." I explained. Her tinkling laugh filled my head again.

"You got a deal Edward Cullen." She held out her hand to me as a fist and I rolled my eyes at her before knocking it gently with my own.

"So, you free tomorrow?" I asked, hoping to fucking god that she was.

"Sure, where are we going?" She asked, taking me off guard again.

"I'll think of something." I smiled slyly at her.

Bella shot one more smile at me before turning around, swinging all that shiny fucking hair of hers over her shoulder and walking to her truck.

I turned to go to my Volvo when I heard her call back to me.

"And just FYI, I never had cooties." She said loudly with a teasing tone to her voice.

"Oh, what-the-fuck-ever!." I yelled back at her making her laugh one last time that night.

The drive home was long. There was a foreign feeling in me that I couldn't place. It was uncomfortable and irritating. I turned the music up, attempting to distract myself, but the CD I was listening to only made my stomach twist more. I cringed. Fuck you, Frank Sinatra, you're not helping. I turned the radio on and the obnoxious rap shit that flowed out of it made me fucking smile and groan simultaneously. And that's when it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I fucking miss that girl already. The thought of Bella intensified the fucking aching in my stomach. I fished a cigarette and my lighter out of my jacket pocket, hoping that might ease the pain. I took a long drag and exhaled in relief. I changed the station and fucking smiled when I heard Yellow by Coldplay. I had never liked the song but I listened to the whole fucking thing as I drove towards home, thinking of where I'd take Bella the next day.

Bella's POV:

Shit. I look like I'm trying too fucking hard. It's not even a fucking date. We're secret buddies or some shit like that. He's fucking hot and there's no way he's even thinking of you like that. This could all be a setup to humiliate you anyway. He probably doesn't like you at all. Guys lie all the time.

Shut the fuck up, Bella.

Edward was different. I just had a gut feeling that he was good. Anyone that good-looking had to have a soul to match. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror one more time before cursing my idea of wearing a dress and pulled on a pair of dark denim jeans, my converse shoes and a cream-colored v-neck sweater. Much more relaxed. To my relief, my hair was actually cooperating we me, falling in delicate curls over my shoulders. I pulled half of it back in a clip, knowing that humidity was not my friend. Finally satisfied with my appearance, I went downstairs to leave a note for Renee.

Edward had texted me that morning to meet him on the highway. I had no idea what he was up to but the building anticipation was very exciting. He was leaning against his Volvo, looking like a perfect replica of James Dean in his leather jacket and sunglasses, with a cigarette between his lips, as I pulled onto the shoulder and hopped out of my truck. I sighed as he looked up and flashed that perfect, crooked smile at me.

"Hey." His velvety voice greeted me. He sounded excited.

"Hi." I smiled back at him. "So what are we doing here?" We were in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forest on both sides of the road.

"You'll see. Follow me." He called back to me as he threw a bulging backpack over his shoulder and turned to walk up a pathway into the woods. I followed him, delighting in the view that his snug jeans were creating. We walked in silence for twenty minutes and I was beginning to get impatient, considering how many times I had tripped once he had led us off of the trail. Edward always turned to offer me his hand to help me up, usually with a smug smile on his face. And every time his casual contact with me would send shivers up my arm and through my chest and down my spine. I couldn't decide if it was because this was the first male contact I'd had in months, or if it was because it was Edward touching me. I really hoped it was because of Edward.

I was getting ready to complain about the never-ending hike when Edward stopped abruptly and I nearly ran into him. "We're here." He exclaimed with the most excited look on his face. So fucking hot. I finally looked away from him to see where he'd brought me. We were on the edge of a cliff, with the most spectacular view of a sparkling lake. There were mountains surrounding the water on every side and a beautiful waterfall could be seen on one of the mountains in the distance. It was the most beautiful place I'd ever been.

"Wow." I whispered. He laughed loudly and the sound of it echoed back to us. Edward snapped a photo of me staring at the scenery with my mouth hanging open. I hadn't even noticed him taking out his fancy, technical-looking camera.

"Pretty fucking cool, huh?" He asked with the smuggest look on his face I'd ever seen. I couldn't blame him.

"It's incredible. I've lived here my whole life and I've never seen anything like this. How did you find this place?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to take some pictures so I just wandered around in the woods until I found this spot."

"I didn't know you liked photography." As I found out more about him, he got impossibly hotter.

"Yea, my mom got me started on it. She was always taking pictures of everything. Even shit that no one gave a fucking care about." His spoke wistfully and I didn't fail to notice his use of the past tense. He sighed and offered me a slight smile before snapping another picture of me.

"Stop it!" I exclaimed in mock annoyance. I was actually thrilled that he was taking my picture. "If you'd give me a warning, I'd smile or something."

"Hell no, the best pictures are always the most natural." He winked at me. Holy fucking Shit. I might die right here.

We spent the day just chilling out and talking. We were sitting on a blanket and snacking on a plethora of junk food that Edward had brought. He would get up randomly and walk around taking more pictures of the scenery. He explained that he liked to get new angles as the light changed. He took a few more pictures of me when I wasn't ready and his buoyant laughter would fill the area when he'd see my look of outrage.

The silences between our conversations were never awkward, just comfortable and peaceful. I had never been so comfortable around anyone before. It was so easy to be with him. That realization excited me and scared the living shit out of me simultaneously. I didn't allow myself to get close to people anymore, but I was breaking all my rules and I knew that I'd continue to do so because I couldn't find a good enough reason to stay away from him when he smiled at me.

Edward was sprawled on the ground with his eyes closed while I sat watching his chest rise and fall underneath his black shirt. The sun was setting and the wind had picked up a bit. Edward hadn't even hesitated to take off his jacket and throw it to me. I was greedily breathing in his scent, which was all minty and smoky, deciding how to approach the topic that had been on my mind all day. I decided that straightforward was always the best way.

"Edward?" I was tentative. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

"Hmmm" he replied without opening his eyes.

"Where's your mother?" I asked meekly. I didn't want to upset him, but today was the first time he'd ever mentioned her and no one in town ever spoke of a Mrs. Cullen. I watched his jaw clench and his hand become a fist in the grass at his side. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at me and all the green was ablaze with bitterness and sadness. "I'm sorry. Shit, I didn't want to pry, I was just wondering, it's none of my business, I am so sorry." I rambled, trying to smooth over the awkwardness I had created.

"I told you not to apologize to me. All you did was ask me a question." He said while sitting up and running a hand through his disheveled hair. His voice was laced with anguish and my heart seared with pain to hear it. He never looked away from the grass as he talked and I listened intently. "My mother died...last year. She was so perfect, like the perfect mom, June Clever and all that shit. But she wasn't happy." His barely whispered the last word. "I never understood why, it's not like she would talk to me about it, but I could tell." He swallowed thickly and I realized that he was tearing up. His voice was impossibly more pained when he continued. "I found her on the bathroom floor. I was home from school, like any other fucking day, but she wasn't there to greet me like she usually was, so I went to look for her." He dropped his head into his hands. My heart broke at the sight of him being so vulnerable and in pain. "The carpet was so fucking red and she was so...fucking cold. I called 911 but I knew I was too late." Tears were slowly falling down my face by that point. "And I fucking hate her for it. I know I sound like a dick, but she was just fucking gone, like that, no explanation, no goodbye, no apology. Who the fuck can just leave people like that?...Bitch." The last word broke him and he was openly sobbing now. I rushed over to him and threw my arms around his shaking body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into my shoulder, staining my sweater with his tears. I began stroking his hair and his back while he cried into my hair. I don't know how long we sat there but eventually his breathing began to even out. Like it even mattered, I would've held him for the rest of time.

"After it happened, everyone, even my friends, started acting different around me, like they could catch her depression from me or something." He spoke into my neck, his warm breath warming his tears on my skin. "My dad sent me to a therapist, thinking that it would help, instead of talking to me himself. It felt like he fucking blamed me for it because if her own child couldn't make her happy, who could, right?"

"It's not your fault. You can't think like that." I whispered to him softly, while pulling my fingers through his soft hair.

He sighed against my neck, raising goose bumps on my arms, and slowly pulled away from me. His eyes were completely blood-shot and his face was streaked with tears.

I brushed my fingers over his cheek and wiped away the last of his tears when he brought his hand up to mine and held it to his face. He leaned his cheek into my palm and breathed in deeply. I soothingly rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone and offered him a little smile. His hand moved mine to rest over his mouth and I wasn't smiling anymore, I was fucking panting. He lightly pressed his smooth lips to my fingers and murmured a thank you to me from behind our fingers. I couldn't say anything. I tried to pour all of my sorrow for what had happened to him into my eyes while we looked at each other. He dropped our hands and intertwined our fingers before pulling me up to my feet.

I helped him pack up everything and we made our way back to the cars. It was dark now that the sun had completely set and he never let go of my hand, keeping me close to him while we walked through the forest. I internally groaned when we made it back to the highway. I didn't want to leave him, I didn't want him to let go of my hand, I didn't want to wait another week until we spoke again. But life isn't fair. He dropped my hand to open my truck door for me and I grudgingly climbed in and slammed the door closed. I rolled down the window to say goodnight to him.

"Can I see you tomorrow, after school?" He asked with hope in his voice.

"Of course." I nodded a little too enthusiastically. He chuckled a bit and I was happy to hear his laughter again.

"I promise not to have another nervous breakdown." He said while embarrassingly shuffling his feet . "Thanks for um....calming me down."

"I'd gladly do it again." I blurted out honestly. He laughed again and leaned into the window to give me a swift kiss on the cheek. My skin blazed where his lips had touched it.

"See you tomorrow." He whispered before turning away and leaving me too soon.

"Wait, your jacket!" I yelled at his retreating form.

"Keep it. It looks better on you, anyway." He called over his shoulder, giving me a quick wink and his beautiful crooked smile.

How anyone could hurt him like that I couldn't imagine. How he wasn't able to make his mother happy seemed incomprehensible to me. Edward made me happier than I'd been by crying into my shoulder and letting me stroke his hair. I hated his mother a little bit for leaving him as well. But I couldn't completely overlook the fact that she was the reason he was alive. I couldn't hate her too much.

I slept in Edward Cullen's leather jacket that night peacefully for the first time in months.