Chapter Ten – The truth.
Things have been rather calm around the Burrow. Bill and I have been behaving ever since the night Charlie left. I didn't notice it until I was lying out in the field that, Charlie hadn't written or anything. I wondered if Bill was trying to keep my mind off Charlie so I wouldn't worry. I wouldn't put it past him to try and protect me.
"Kat are you out there?" Bill asked. I almost decided not to answer but of course I said, "Yeah."
Bill headed down by me. He sat down but didn't say anything. I looked into his mind and saw that he too was worried about Charlie. We hadn't heard from him in over a week. His mind kept going through ways of figuring out where he could be.
"No word yet I take it?" I asked. I stared up at the sky but I was lost in Bill's mind. He was trying to figure out if he could leave… alone without me.
"We'll go to Sirius's together." I said. I could tell he wanted to argue with me but I looked into his mind and saw that he understood my tone and wouldn't question me… at least not right now.
"We'll leave tomorrow… should we write them?" I asked.
"I don't know." He said as he stood and headed back to the house. I quickly got into this mind. He was trying to block me out which made it harder. But he was never very good at it so with a little work I got into his mind. He didn't want to have me leave the house… but he didn't want to leave me alone. He was torn between what to do. I could see he was massively temped to just stay back at the house and not go anywhere.
He needs to stop babying me. I can handle my own. I wondered how upset he'd be if I left without him. I could sneak out in the middle of the night and head over there myself. But… I couldn't really run again, even though this isn't running… I couldn't do that to him again… plus he'd kill me. I laid there outside lost in thought and lost in Bill's thoughts…
After I was finally pulled from everything; it was dark. I looked around and wondered how long I'd been outside. I shook my head and shifted around a little and stared up at the sky. I saw all these stars. It hadn't been nice outside in awhile, so it was nice to sit there. I finally headed inside and headed towards the kitchen.
Bill was no were to be found. I slowly headed upstairs towards his room. I knocked on the door but no answer. I opened the door and saw a rucksack lying on the bed. I sat down on the floor and pulled my knees towards my chest.
Why would he leave without his bag…? I decided I needed to act… I didn't want to stay here alone… I cannot believe Bill left without me. I shook my head. I ran down stairs and stood in the kitchen I grabbed some parchment and wrote a note. I'm not even sure why… I mean it isn't like he did the same for me… but if he got back before I got there or something strange… I wouldn't want him to worry like I am right now. I looked down and I was in my sweats. I ran upstairs and changed into some clothes. I slipped on this white tank top with a black vest over it and black jeans. I brushed through my hair and headed out. I stood and disappeared to Sirius's house. I opened the door and everyone was there. There was tons of people in and wandering around. I slipped in and headed towards the kitchen where I heard Sirius shouting.
"…No! Absolutely not!" Molly shouted.
"Molly, you cannot tell him what to do anymore! And you really can't control Kat!" Sirius shouted. I quickened my pace and got downstairs to the kitchen.
"What the bloody hell is going on?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. I saw Fred and George, Molly, Arthur, Sirius… and what'd ya know, Bill.
"Kat!" Ginny said. I hadn't seen her and Ron. She came running over and hugged me. I smiled. I really missed all the kids while they were gone.
"Hey kido." Bill looked back at me and I looked towards Sirius.
"Why are you two fighting about me?" I asked with a smile as I sat down.
"Order things." Fred smiled. I gave him a crooked grin.
"Thanks kid." I smiled and winked at him.
"Kids, upstairs… Ginny, Ron, Fred, George… now." Molly said. The kids protested but they finally went upstairs.
"What's going on…? Sirius?" I asked because I knew he'd answer me… and truthfully. Normally I'd ask Bill, but I don't want to talk to him.
"Well… Katherine… the Order… Dumbledore wanted you for something…" Sirius said slowly.
"But…?" I asked him.
"But… it's dangerous… even more so than any other Order mission… I know a bit about it but… It's tricky." Sirius said and he looked sad.
"Well, what is it?" I asked. I looked around and everyone looked sad. I went into Sirius's mind and tried to get a look. I saw him talking to Dumbledore… but I couldn't get into the memory.
"Sorry darling…" Sirius said. He said down across from the table from me and took my hands in his. "Kat, this is dangerous… and now nobody can make up your mind besides you… but you're loved ones… being… well everyone… doesn't want you to do it… but… basically the word is, the Death Eaters are looking for you, per Voldemort's request actually… Voldemort wants you on his side…" Sirius took a deep breath.
"Occlumency." I muttered.
"Exactly, he wants you to read people thoughts… try and change what they're thinking without casting a spell… Extremely dark magic. Dumbledore… thought you should take it and spy for us… But…" Sirius said. He looked so… so indescribably sad.
"But you will die, if you help Dumbledore." Molly said. I looked at her. I kept my face clean of any emotion. But this had an upside. If I took this I'd get out of the Weasley's way… Bill won't have to hate me and pretend not to want me dead. This had its upsides… but… using my strange… ability to hurt people… who knows what I'll actually have to do once I'm in…
"Think about it…" Sirius said.
"Bill, will you show Kat to her room?" Molly asked. He nodded and we headed upstairs. We got upstairs to the second landing where all the kids were staying.
"Thanks for telling me Bill." I growled.
"Kat, I was going to take you… I packed a bag and everything… but then I got the dog… and I had to come." He said. I looked at him.
"You left… you got me completely wasted… and then you didn't talk to me for a day, when I accused you of taking advantage of me… and then, you leave! Me alone! And you knew I was terrified of being alone! What the hell's wrong with you?" I shouted. I knew that we were being over heard by everyone.
"Well, I'm sorry Kat!" Bill shouted throwing his hands in the air. "I should've known that you'd run the first chance that you got!" Bill shouted. I stared at him, even for Bill that is way too low.
"Enough." I looked up and saw Charlie. I smiled and ran over to him with tears running down my face.
"Bill, when will you learn? You're so thick sometimes…" Charlie shouted.
"Don't take this out on me! I was going to come back for her." He shouted.
"Charlie… I'm tired… where's my room?" I whispered in to his chest.
"You'll crash with me… don't want any late night visitors." Charlie said. We headed into his room. I sat down on the bunk.
"What are you doing back early… what was the mission?" I asked wiping my eyes.
"Oh…eh…" He said and turned red.
"Charlie Weasley what did you do?" I asked with a smile.
"Well, I thought I was going on an Order Mission… but I ended up going to Tonk's house…" Charlie looked down.
"Oh my god! You little player!" I laughed.
"It wasn't like that…" He said.
"Oh?" I smiled. We sat around and talked for awhile but I finally started to get tired so I laid down.
"Charlie, can I come in?" Whispered a voice from the hall.
"Sure." He said softly. I was laying in Charlie's lap.
"Sit down Bill."
"What did you do?" Charlie asked.
"I messed up… but I swear I didn't take advantage of her…" He said. I tried to fall back asleep but I just couldn't. I just laid there with my eyes closed."I would never take advantage of her… I just wanted her to loosen up… She worries too much… and then we were too drunk… but I promise other than a little snogging… that was it… I promise." Bill said. He sounded desperate.
"I know… I know… it's just that… I dunno…" Charlie said. "Kat wake up now." I slowly sat up with my face flaming red.
"Sorry… I was sleeping…" I whispered having my back turned on Bill.
"I'll leave you two to talk about… stuff." I said.
"Kat, you can't freeze me out." Bill said.
"I'll sleep with Ginny tonight… 'night Charlie." I whispered and gave him a hug as I headed out. I wandered to the second story to the living room. I sat down under the window with my knees pulled towards my chest.
What was I going to do about the mission I was requested to do? I could really hurt and even kill people? And… what makes Dumbledore so sure that Voldemort won't just kill me… or a Death Eater… I needed someone to help me make this decision.
"Hello Kat."
"I do not know what to do." I whispered.
"Darling… I don't know what to tell you… maybe if you talked this over with…"
"Sirius, I'm sure you heard the fight… There is nothing going on between me and Bill." I said.
"A very long time ago, I was in my first year… and there was this girl… and I'd liked her ever since I saw her that first day. We were standing in line for the sorting hat together and she nudges me and says, 'are you scared too?' and I looked at her and she looked so terrified. She was great… we were in the same house. She and I became friends… great friends… But later on in school a mate of mine… told me he was crazy for her… and I wasn't one to share things… so I hadn't told him." Sirius said. He looked like he was a million years away.
"And so… We were down in the common room one night and she told me that she didn't like him and that… she didn't ever think she wanted him… But next year… that changed they started dating our third year… and things were fine… but we'd been friends for a very long time… so at a party…" He said.
"There was a lot of Firewhiskey?" I asked with a sad smile. Sirius gave a humorless laugh.
"Yes darling… A lot of Firewhiskey… and we snogged a little. And then… we started sneaking around… like you and Bill… and then in our seventh year… my mate told me he was going to ask her to marry him. He wasn't sure when he was going to do it but he had bought a ring… so we went off sneaking around for the last time… and… I told her about the ring… she said that she would not marry without affection. I told her… that she'd have to… that she had to marry him that nobody ever… could know about what we did and… she didn't like it… she fought me on it. She kept seeing me in between class… whenever, wherever she could. Finally I told her that sometimes the one you love isn't always the one you're supposed to be with… that's rubbish. But when my mate gave her the ring… she said yes… and as she walked down the aisle… she looked so beautiful… but I was the best mate… I… I stood there and knowing that she would never be mine… never being able to hold her… And the whole time they were standing up there during the service she cried the whole time… and everyone thought it was because she was so happy… but she was sad… She had once told me… that she would rather live alone than marry without affection… and she did not have affections for my mate."
Sirius looked so… so sad… I could tell that he hadn't told anyone this before.
"I went to see her a few years later when my mate was off doing work stuff… I went to see her and saw that they had a baby boy. She was so unhappy but… she loved that baby to death… That was the last time I ever saw her. So, do not runaway from something… because… you'll end up alone instead. And I know that it's sad and scary but… at least think about my mistakes." Sirius whispered.
"Sirius… did you love her?" I whispered softly as I looked up at him. His face was impassive he looked down at me and whispered, "I think I might have." He walked out of the family room. I sat there in a ball thinking about what Sirius had said. I wondered who the girl was…?
"Kat…?"
"I'm sorry… I just… I wanted to keep you safe. I just… I want you safe." Bill whispered.
"Bill, I'm scared." I cried. He sat down across from me as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Me too…" He whispered.
"I want to help Dumbledore, I really do… but I'm not sure if I want to die helping him."
"Kat… I don't want you to die either." Bill whispered.
"What am I suppose to do Bill?" I cried and I hugged him.
"I do not know Katherine." He whispered as he held me. I didn't know anything anymore. I… needed, I needed my best friend who I was insanely close to… I needed the silly little boy I feel in love with.