July 14th 1915

Sorry I haven't written anything for ages, it's just nothing has happened except thinking about Aileana and baseball. I went to the baseball field alone since I didn't feel like any company at the moment. For almost a year now, all I kept thinking about was Aileana since her beauty wasn't erasable. I haven't seen her around since the beginning of June so I kept thinking was she okay? Did she die? I hope not. I remember at Christmas, my parents wanted to host a "Happy Christmas" party and they invited the Nelsons. I talked to Aileana for the majority of the party but I didn't kiss her since Hunter interrupted me since he wanted to dance with her and she was too polite to decline the dance invitation. I wanted to kiss her under the mistletoe but she walked away before I could. I didn't know what was wrong with me. That was the most excruciating experience I've ever been through since I couldn't stop staring at her or I messed up with my words. Then on Valentines Day, I gave her this delicious chocolates but her boyfriend Hunter gave her a stuff animal. She hung out with him for than I did and they are now close to engagement. My heart wanted to be torn into pieces when she always walked away with him. I knew I wasn't just fancying her. I knew that I'm in love with her. Young love, my mother always says.

I sat on the out field grass with the beautiful sunset about to set. Suddenly I heard someone approached near by. I didn't dare to turn my head but what if it was she? What if it was Aileana? But then again, what if it was Jack or Tommy? You never know unless you turn your head, Edward.

I turned my head to see it was she. It was Aileana with her beautiful locks of hairs flying since it was windy out. She walked towards me with a smile until she was right above me. "Do you mind if I join you?" she asked politely. I shook my head so with her beautiful pink dress right next to me. I was staring at the sunset and so was she. I took a glimpse at her with a smile.

"You look lovely." I smiled while I noticed she blushed.

"Thank you, I made this dress myself," She told me, "it took awhile."

"I bet. So how come I haven't seen you in ages?" I asked curious to hear her response.

"Because I've been busy, you know living in high class society since my aunt is very wealthy. She wants me to marry to marry a man with wealth so I could be taken care of. But to tell you the truth, that's not what I want. I just want a man that loves me for me, you know what I mean?" She asked me while I was looking into her eyes.

I nodded, "That's what I want too but with woman not men."

She laughed, "I know what you mean." I blushed since that was something I never imagine myself ever saying. I never knew I could blush. That's very odd to me.

"I love your laugh," I commented, "very pure."

"Thank you, I think it's adorable when you blush." She smiled.

"Thank you." I mumbled while she giggled. I smiled sine I love to see her happy. "I wish the best luck finding the man in your wildest dreams."

"You're such a great friend, thank you." She smiled, while I nodded.

"You want us just to be friends?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Well you wished me luck and I said you're a good friend for wishing me luck, that's all. Why?" She asked calmly, even though in her mind, I could tell she wasn't controlled.

"Oh nothing," I shook my head, "nothing, I wasn't thinking." I was completely humiliated since I wasn't thinking clearly at all. What am I going to do?

"Edward, are you okay? You don't seem…okay." She swallowed.

"I'm fine, I'm decent, nothing wrong with me." I lied. I'm such a horrible liar since she didn't look convinced.

"Oh my!" She covered her mouth. She found out that I fancied her. Now what am I going to do since this I feel so strange.

"I can explain…" I winced but she covered my mouth with her soft hand.

"You…you…you… fancy me?" her eyes widened, her beautiful brown eyes. I nodded, ashamed but she needed my honesty. "How long?"

"Since I first met you," I admitted, "but then it grew more and more every time we talked or I see you. I wanted to tell you—"

"Then why didn't you?" she interrupted me.

"Because Hunter was always in the way." I admitted, frowning. We looked at each other without a word. I was observing her reaction while she was looking down at her hands, fiddling with them. She was obviously mad or sad at me but I couldn't tell which one it was. She looked up five minutes later with tears in her eyes.

"Well, you're never going to accept that Hunter and I are together aren't you?" she rasped. I shook my head while she sniffled, "Okay then, I think I should go."

"Aileana, please tell how you feel about me," I begged, "That's all I ask."

"I want you as a friend," She stuttered, "I don't know what else."

I frowned, looking down while she was sobbing all the sudden. I looked up seeing she had red around her eyes with tears streaming down, "Edward, what do you want me to do?"

"Be with me." I whispered.

"You must be out of your mind," she whispered back.

"Not this time." I pressed my lips against hers. She didn't try to stop me so we continued with our very passionate kiss. This of course was my first kiss of course, but not hers. Her lips felt soft and warm with her tongue nothing ordinary. It felt weird to me at first. But then I realized that I don't this will ever happen to me again. She finally stopped me looking up at me and she was still sobbing. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what to do anymore. Hunter is going to be angry with me." She whispered, "I have no intention what he would do if he saw me here with you., but to be quite I don't really care. Edward, I want to be with you."

"Then you can have me." I whispered. I leaned my head to press my lips against hers again. The light was out so there were stars in the sky as our light, but we continued not looking up at the stars. Right there was a sing of true love. I'm hoping she feels it too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bella's POV

Oh my god! Edward had his first kiss with someone that wasn't I! How dare he! He kept this from me but why? True love? What about me? Why didn't he rescue her and turn her to a vampire? I was outraged or going way into this. Suddenly I heard the door open. Crap! I hid the journal right back to the box, not really caring about marking my page since Edward was back. I put it back onto my shelf. But I really wanted to continue this story since that was very interesting. Frustrating, but fascinating. Edward opened the door with Renesmee running towards me. I gave her a hug, picking her up but not squishing her too hard. I kissed her cheek, acting like nothing ever happened to me.

"How was your grandparents house?" I asked her, picking her up with her legs on my side.

"Good." she placed her hands on my face. She was going to show me her time at her grandparent's house. She played with Rosalie, Emmett and Jacob with dolls while Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were watching them. Edward was playing the piano as music. It looked fun but it was worth it to read his journal. Then Edward made her eat chocolate and she loved with but some of it was dripping down her face. Everyone was laughing with Renesmee giggling. Jacob was swinging with her as she was laughing. She was with Jacob the majority of time, which I thought it was sweet. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting with each other on the couch. I always wish they would have a child since it would be so beautiful. Then Edward and Renesmee went home and entered upstairs.

I smiled, giving her hug. "I'm glad you had a great time." She nodded while Edward smiled. He walked towards me while I placed Renesmee on the ground. She ran out of the room so it was just Edward and I. He kissed my forehead but somehow I felt different. I was imaging myself as Aileana in a way.

"What did you do while we were gone?" he asked.

"Read." I answered, nodding my head. I didn't want to tell him what I was reading. "How about you and Renesmee go to the fair tomorrow?"

"What about you?" he asked, widening his eyes in a way. I didn't want to lie but I had to think of good reasons. I want to finish my book. I could say that but he'll just say "you can finish it right now". I could say I want to read it outside when there's light out since its nighttime right now. Perfect I got it planned out!

"I want to finish my book." I answered. He raised his eyebrow and shrugged. I hope he doesn't go any further with this.

"Okay, well actually the family and I want to go to Disneyland since we heard it's going to be cloudy." He told me. Disneyland? We never go to Disneyland.

"Have fun." I smiled, "I don't need to go." I was so desperate to finish the journal. I wonder if she's still alive or not.

"I want you to go." He kissed my forehead.

I shook my head, "I'm fine, and someone needs to guard this house."

He didn't look convince. "It'll be really fun, and we haven't been to California before so just for kicks, we just decided to look on and it said it was going to be cloudy since it's winter."

"I'm not a ride freak so I'll be staying out most of the time." I lied. I love going on rides, especially at the fair. Why am I continuing to lie to him? He doesn't deserve it.

He sighed, "Okay, well we're leaving tonight since we wanted to have dinner there earlier. I'll help Renesmee pack so have fun reading. We'll be gone for about two days. Alice said she'll meet us there tomorrow."

Suddenly the phone rang. It might be Alice seeing me reading his journal. Crap! I picked up the phone faster than Edward luckily. "Hello?" I answered, nervous.

"Bella! You picked up, yes! I saw you reading Edward's—" I hung up the phone, placing it back at the charger. He raised his eyebrow while I gave a simple smile. The phone rang again and I picked up again.

"Alice don't kill me…"

"But why are you—" I hung up again because I didn't want him to hear anything. I took a unnecessary sigh, smiling again. He left the room, going to help Nessie pack her things for Disneyland. I shrugged, sitting on the bed.

Ten minutes later, they were done packing so I went down stairs to say good-bye. I pressed my lips against his passionately and urgent. I kissed Renesmee forehead giving her a hug with Edward as a group hug. They left as I heard then drove away. I immediately ran upstairs to continue reading. I opened my door, grabbing his journal and going on the bed to continue where I was left off.

I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!